Chapter 2:

"Seriously? You are getting over your girlfriend by sleeping with your junkie exes, junkie best friend? Jesus Christ Sam I feel like I have fallen into an episode of the Hills or some shit. How can your life possibly be this dramatic?" Dean yelled. Sam blushed bright red and pushed himself against the door, trying to make himself smaller and in spite of his height and general giantness, he was succeeding quite well, but Dean wasn't deterred. "What the hell were you thinking Sam? You are better then that!"

"They weren't junkies back then…" Dean stared at Sam out of the corner of his eye; Sam actually believed that was a decent answer for what happened last night?

"Seriously Sam? You expect me to believe that they weren't using back then? When you had that exact same problem? I may not have taken off to go to some fancy college, but I am not that stupid." Sam flinched at the mention of Stanford, they were both still raw from that.

"I never thought you were stupid Dean. They weren't junkies well Quinn wasn't at least. God, I broke up with Quinn back then because I thought I was genuinely doing something good by trying to keep her out of that world… I didn't know that she would turn to the same shit when I left. And as for Ren, I knew that she was dealing, but I didn't know that she was using, at least not enough to be an addict." Dean pulled the car over to the shoulder and shut the car off giving his brother a hard stare, he couldn't believe it had taken so many years for him to put it together, he actually bought the story that some random guy had given Sam the drugs.

"She is the one who gave you the coke back then, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she was…"

"Jesus Christ… Sam."

"It was six years ago Dean, we were teenagers, I wasn't about to tell you or dad that a fifteen year old girl dragged me into that hole, she didn't make me do anything back then, I made my choices, just let it go." Dean tightened his hands on the steering wheel so he wouldn't reach out and punch Sam in the mouth. Nothing felt worse then knowing that Sam lied to him, and every time he did it felt like a knife being twisted in his gut.

"I don't ever want you to see those people again Sam." Sam stared at Dean in disbelief, he felt like a kid again, being told he wasn't allowed to see them again. He didn't want to anyway, but being told he couldn't by his older brother made him feel like a petulant child.

"I don't plan on it, I don't like what they turn me into…" Sam thought back to the night previously and subconsciously rubbed at the crook of his elbow where the two injection marks were, know that he was coming down he really did feel like shit about what had happened in Ren's hotel room.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Dean didn't like Sam's tone, and he felt like he was being left out of a crucial part of the story.

"It doesn't matter, I'll never see them again…" Sam felt the cigarette pack in his jacket pocket, and thought about the bag of white powder that was inside, he couldn't use it, he had to kick this, but unlike when he was a teenager, he didn't have any help in this fight, because Dean didn't know, and Sam couldn't tell him that he had messed up. That look on Dean's face of utter disappointment the last time they had gone through this was more then Sam could handle right now. Dean was already mad at Sam about everything else Sam had done wrong.

"Alright." Dean didn't have the time or energy to discuss Sam's screw ups in the past. They had to find their Dad, and the thing that destroyed their lives. "Well time to head Black Water Ridge then?" Sam was shocked that Dean seemed to be letting this go, but he nodded his head and sat up in his seat.

"Yeah, lets go." The brothers sped off towards Black Water Ridge and when Sam woke up from his latest nightmare about Jessica, he was beginning to feel the affects of withdrawal, he needed a hit before they went into the woods, after that he would stop.

Dean was beginning to notice something was wrong with Sam, he was angry, angry about being dragged back into the life he hated, and having to leave his dreams behind. Dean got that but this was different, it was rage. It started when they went to go interview Hayley, as soon as Dean said they had to go with her and protect her it was like something in Sam snapped.

"We can not let that Hayley girl go out there." Sam said.

"Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? She can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?" Dean said it sarcastically, but it didn't seem to deter Sam.

"Yeah." Sam replied. Dean looked at his brother like he was an idiot, they didn't make a habit of telling people about the monsters in the dark, not unless they had to, it wasn't like people ever believe them.

"Her brother's missing Sam, she's not just gonna sit this out, no we go with her, we protect her, and keep our eyes peeled for out fuzzy predator friend." Sam eyed Dean coldly.

"So finding Dad's not enough?" Sam said slamming the trunk hard. "Now we got to babysit too?" Dean watched Sam carefully, he was angry yet oddly detached at the same time. When Dean said nothing Sam stared hard at him. "What?" Sam snarled.

"Nothing…" Dean said and threw the bag of guns at Sam's chest. Sam was like a powder keg, he was explosive and there were times during the Wendigo hunt where Sam would go quiet, and then minute later he would snap on somebody, and Dean didn't like it, his younger brother was the level headed one and there was something distinctly wrong with the situation. Dean stood back and watched as Sam had a stand off with Roy.
"I was hunting these woods when your Mommy was still kissing you good night." Roy said as he walked into Sam's personal space, but Sam didn't back down, if anything he stiffened even more.

"Yeah? It's a damn near perfect hunter, it's smarter then you, and it's going to hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid sorry ass out of here." Dean tensed, Sam wasn't rude to people, it wasn't in his nature. Roy just laughed and pushed Sam, which still didn't make Sam back away.

"You know you're crazy right?" Roy said.

"Yeah? You ever hunt a wend-" At this point Dean stepped in, what the hell was Sam thinking telling Roy about the Wendigo? He pushed Sam back before it escalated. Sam backed away but Dean kept his hand on Sam's chest.

"Chill out…" The hunt went on like that, and it was one of those hunts that Dean was happy when it was over.

Dean thought it was just about Jessica, Sam had just lost the women he loved, and he only had his Dad to compare too, but his Dad definitely went off the deep end when his wife died, so after the hunt Dean let it go, because maybe Sam just needed to grieve, and there was no harm in that. After Black Water they pulled into a motel along a back road somewhere in Colorado, they both needed some sleep. When Dean came back out of the office, Sam was out of the car smoking a cigarette, Dean groaned but said nothing, Sam was smoking less then a pack a week, he had to be happy about that, and maybe now was not the time to nitpick about Sam's little habit, they had bigger concerns.

"Room twelve." Dean said, Sam exhaled the smoke and looked over at his brother.

"I'll meet you there in a minute." Sam said.

"Are you getting sick Sammy? You look a little pale."

"No I'm not sick, I'm just tired."

"Okay, room is around back." Dean pulled the car away and left Sam standing by the curb. Dean was right, Sam was getting sick, he was shaky and clammy, unfortunately this wasn't the flu or something that be cured with medicine, he was withdrawing again. Sam sat down on the curb, and looked at the baggy inside his cigarette pack and he sighed, in that moment he knew that he needed help, and there was only one person that could help him.

"This needs to stop…" Sam whispered to himself. He stood up and walked around back to the motel room. When he entered he heard the shower running so he sat down on the bed, facing towards the door and waited for Dean to finish.

When Dean opened the bathroom door, he knew that something was wrong Sam was squeezing his hands together and sitting on the edge of the bed. Dean frowned, threw his towel in the corner and sat down across from Sam on the opposite bed. Sam was glassy eyed and wasn't looking Dean in the eyes, but Dean knew he was about to get answers to something, cause this is what it looked like when Sam needed to talk.

"Sammy? Are you okay?" Sam blinked a few times and then met Dean's eyes.

"No, I'm not…" Sam began to cry, and Dean moved over onto the other bed, and brought Sam into a hug. Sam leaned into Dean and kept sobbing. Dean began to feel panic building up in his chest, sure Sam was always the more emotional Winchester, but he didn't really cry either, not unless something really bad had happened.

"Jesus Sammy, please tell me what's wrong?"

"Dean… I'm… I'm having a bad day…" Dean blinked a few times remembering those words from Sam's teenaged years, words he hadn't heard in a very long time. Then he felt it, Sam was shaky and he was developing a fever, and Dean closed his eyes as tears threatened to fall.

"You mean you already had a bad day?" Dean asked, but he already knew the answer to the question, if Sam was getting sick, it was already too late to talk Sam out of it, he had already taken the drugs.

"Yeah…"

"Sammy what did you do?" Sammy lifted his hand and placed the bag in Dean's hand. Dean looked at the bag of white powder, they had already gone through this dance when Sam was fifteen, and Dean knew what was in that little bag. "Jesus Sam… you know better then this…"

"I know… I'm sorry." Suddenly Dean thought about the motel in Palo Alto a week earlier, when Sam had had a run in with his past.

"Ren, when you stayed with her the night. She gave this shit to you…"

"Yeah, I'm not even sure how it happened, my mind blanked and suddenly she was sticking a needle in my arm, and then I felt better."

"You injected it? Sam, do you know how dangerous that is?"

"I didn't think about it, I just wanted to be happy again."

"This isn't happiness Sam, you know that, it just dulls everything else for a little while, it never makes it go away."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but now I need your help. I don't want to be that person again, and I don't want to be an insult to Jessica's memory."

"Okay Sammy, we'll get you better, why didn't you come to me first?"

"I left you, and I didn't think you still wanted the responsibility of dealing with my bullshit anymore." Dean laughed in spite of himself.

"Kid, you can tell me anything, nothing has changed between us okay? Just please don't ever do this to me again."

"Okay Dean."

"Alright, you are in for a rough week kiddo, and then I am gonna kick your ass for doing this to me again." Sam sniffed as he tried to control his tears and sobbing.

"I really am sorry De… I know I screwed up…" Dean sighed and ran his hands through his little brothers hair.

"Yeah… you did Sammy, but I should have known too… you were acting off all week, and I should have said something. In the back of my mind I knew this was a possibility, but I was in denial, and when you spent the night with Ren I should have said something to you, cause I knew in any normal situation you wouldn't have hooked up with her, especially after Jessica…So I am sorry…"

"It isn't your job to take care of me anymore Dean…" Dean laughed. Sometimes for a smart kid, Sam could say the dumbest things.

"That's always going to be my job little brother… always."