MEMOS
Albus, what have you done?
This feels familiar.
What happened to you?
I don't want to talk about it…
But you're -
Don't say it… or write it… I can't bear to think about it!
Can I allude to it in witty one-liners?
Is there anything to stop you?
Human decency?
That's a no then.
Hahaha. Don't take your anger out on me; it's not my fault you're erring on the citrus side of things.
That one was terrible.
They will get better. I promise.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Wise one you are.
Please arrange your words in the right order, it creeps me out when you don't.
The sun really is shining brightly today, isn't it, Albus?
Where are you going with this?
But then again, you wouldn't know that.
Minerva?
If you went outside in it you'd be run over by a stray bull.
Why would there be a stray bull in a school?
Just go along with it.
Oh noooooo!
…
Was that better?
No.
You make me feel so good about myself.
You know how it's almost Halloween?
Yeees.
Hagrid was wondering whether we could serve you instead of his giant pumpkins this year.
Stop it.
Or we could shred you and use you as the carrots for the Sunday roast.
Please.
Or we could grate you and use you as a cheesy topping.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I GOT AN ORANGE TAN!