MEMOS
Minerva?
Good morning, Albus.
Yes, yes. You're female, right?
Is it necessary for you to check?
Well it could be.
Stay away from me.
You suggested it!
It was sarcam.
Of course. Now, you're female?
YES.
And I'm male.
That could be debated.
Shut up.
Oooh, get you!
Right - to summarise - you are male and I am female.
Wrong way around, Genius.
I was just testing you…
…
You're still sharp.
Where are you going with this?
Right… Where was I going with this?
I am no mind-reader.
I'll get Sybil.
NO!
I'm joking.
Don't you EVER do that again!
Okay. Anyway, I am male and you are female.
We are not having the "birds and the bees" talk again!
No, no. What I mean is, if I am male and you are female, what on Merlin's mad earth is an email?
Well… I don't know!
I heard some students talking about it at the welcoming feast last night and I cannot, for the life of me, work out what it is.
Well don't ask me.
I've got it!
Yes?
Elephant Mail!
What?
It's mail carried by elephants.
Are you sure you didn't just hear the tail end of a conversation - someone might just have said "female" and you missed the "f".
No! This is so much better. Yes, Elephant Mail. I see that working.
You idiot.
I'm getting an elephant.
… You know what, go ahead. Just keep it away from my office.