Kaname has had his fair share of strange clients, but none as strange as Matoba Seiji. The man is a well-known brothel owner, sly and manipulative, with control over unseen things. Things that haunt dreams and turn them into nightmares.
Instinctively, he doesn't like him. As far as small miracles go, he does have one thing to look forward aside from the payment. And that's getting to know Natsume Takashi, the one he has to protect. They're about the same age, and it's the first time Kaname is looking forward to a job this much. He doesn't usually get a chance to interact with boys his age; it's always a girl to take care of, or an old man to shadow, or money to guard, or things to slay. His line of work doesn't leave him time for friends.
"Tanuma-san, do you know how to tie a kimono sash?" He doesn't, but Natsume teaches him - and they have all the time in the world, starting now. He isn't sure why Matoba wants him to guard Natsume, but that's okay. Natsume is kind and welcoming, and being in his presence is like coming home.
The girls like Natsume, too. They listen to him and allow him to do his work with little compliant; they even sneak him kisses when no one else is looking. It's like watching a strange parody of a family.
Kaname doesn't ask many questions in the beginning, content to enjoy his time for as long as it lasts, but then he notices - the way Matoba stands too close to Natsume, the way the girls go quiet when Matoba walks into a room, the way Natsume's smile turns fake as soon as Matoba is there. He doesn't like it, about as much as he doesn't like Matoba.
A week into the job, Kaname works up the courage to ask, "Why are you here?"
It's obvious Natsume doesn't belong here. Not because he is a boy - there are plenty of boys who work here - but because Natsume deserves so much better. He deserves something that doesn't dye his fingertips scarlet, from continuously staining a girl's lips blood red. He deserves something that isn't dressing girls in beautiful kimonos while he wears the same thing, every day. He deserves to see the world outside, where life isn't something bought, but something lived.
"I have no choice," Natsume answers, and the last thing he expects is for his friend to lower his simple blue robe, exposing his shoulders and a small, tattoo-like mark on his back. There are faded whip marks, too, but it's the intertwined snakes that catch his gaze. It's something sinister, and it doesn't belong on Natsume. "I owe my life to Matoba-san, and this mark proves it. A reminder that I cannot escape a debt that cannot be paid." He tugs his robe back up and pulls it a little tighter around himself. "I have no choice," Natsume repeats. "I never did."
Kaname still doesn't understand everything, but he knows when to stop. He changes the subject, hoping to ease the pain he has caused his friend, "Can we go to the pond outside? I've only seen it from the windows."
"All right," Natsume says, and it's the only freedom Kaname can offer him.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Madara demands angrily. "You are the master of curses! The queen of horror, the empress of all things wicked! You know more about these types of curse marks than anyone else I've ever known!"
"As flattering as all that is," his friend replies, "I can't do much more than this." She exhales a cloud of smoke, which curls into the shape of a plant that spirals upwards. Long leaves, thick stem, it is a plant that can be found solely in the world of youkai. "Find this, have your pet human eat it, and maybe - if he's lucky - he won't die."
"And it will free him?" growls Madara, because that is a gamble without merit otherwise.
She shrugs. "Who knows? Best of luck to you."
"He's not my pet, by the way," Madara states, making it clear, "he's related to Reiko. You remember her - don't you, Hinoe?"
The surprised look on Hinoe's half-hidden face speaks for itself.
"If he survives, you can meet him," goads Madara, "if not. Oh well. You're not missing out. The kid's an eyesore."
"Does … does he look like Reiko?" Collecting herself from her surprise, she slaps her forehead and grumbles, "What am I thinking! He's still a boy!"
"A very pretty boy," Madara sing-songs, "but an eyesore, all the same."
"I'm not interested," Hinoe says firmly. "Now, go away! I gave you the only chance he has, use it well." If there is a sneaking concern in her voice, Madara doesn't call her on it. Instead, he swats at the lingering cloud of smoke with a large, white paw. It dissipates and he grins, ready to go searching. "Be careful," she advises him, but it falls on deaf ears.
Being careful won't get him what he needs, nor what he wants. He has to go all-out and take it.
Kaname likes the night. The dark softens the harshness of a long day and he can relax. He especially likes the nights where he can be with Natsume. He likes how they can talk for hours about nothing in particular. He likes it because Natsume is talking, because there are times where he doesn't. He stops speaking and he won't eat, but those days pass and it's usually thanks to a courtesan girl that Natsume gets better. He's a little jealous since Natsume will rarely let him touch him on days like that, but the girl - Taki, he thinks her name is - can run her fingers through his hair, whisper soothing words, and Natsume will get this look in his eyes, as if he's remembering why he has to keep on living. They share a special bond, those two, and he knows he can't get between them; it's unthinkable.
Tonight is one of the kind he likes the most, as he sits next to Natsume on the windowsill. The stars aren't out, too many clouds in the sky, but there is enough light coming from the district that never sleeps. It's not pretty or magical, but it's okay because the night is a soothing balm, and it reminds him of Natsume's presence beside him.
Tentatively, he brushes his fingers against the back of Natsume's hand. He wants to hold it, but he isn't sure what to do about this sudden want. It would be awkward to ask and -
And Natsume understands. He flips his hand to press their palms together and laces their fingers as one. Kaname stares at their interlocked hands before looking away, a reddish hue blossoming on his face. He isn't sure why, but this - right now - is making his heart beat faster than it should. It's innocent and kind of nice, but the look on Natsume's face is sweet, too sweet, and he knows if he looks he will want to make things less innocent and it won't be kind of nice anymore, but horrible.
"Tanuma-san?" Natsume asks, worry in his voice. He places his other hand against Kaname's forehead, checking for a fever that doesn't exist, and the concentration splayed on Natsume's face is more attractive than the last. He's beginning to realize he has questions he needs to ask himself before he has any right to question Natsume.
"I'm fine," Kaname assures his friend. He raises their joined hands in explanation. "I just … I'm not used to this kind of thing."
"I'm sorry." Natsume tries to let go, but Kaname won't let him. Natsume tilts his head, smiling slightly. "Is this okay, then?"
"It's fine," Kaname assures him again, "I'm fine with this."
Natsume's whisper is almost too soft to hear when he says, "Me too," but Kaname can hear it, even over the sound of his heart beating in his ears. And he doesn't want this moment to end; he wants to freeze it right here and replay it, over and over and over again. Because it's in this moment he learns it's okay to want something he can't have.
"Takashi-kun." Matoba shatters everything, like a child who shouldn't be allowed to play with porcelain dolls, and Kaname feels his skin crawl at the mere sound of his voice. "It's time to say goodnight."
Natsume seems to realize their hands are still joined as one and hastily pulls away, standing to take his place beside Matoba. "Thank you for today. Good night, Tanuma-san." Natsume bows, and then Matoba takes him somewhere Kaname cannot follow. He is forbidden from Matoba's room, and he isn't in a rush to find out why.
"Please wait outside," Natsume tells him, and Kaname hesitates - because his job is to be with Natsume. Well, not exactly. But until he knows the truth, that's pretty much it. "Please," Natsume says, and there is insistence in his voice, and the sound of crying from the room.
He sighs and nods, and then the door slides shut. It is a thin wall that separates him from Natsume, but the distance feels greater. And slowly, he begins to notice how far Natsume, the real Natsume, really is from him. He isn't sure why he listens in to their conversation through that paper-thin wall, but he wants to learn what is hidden from him. He wants to try and understand them. He wants to help.
"It's over," the girl's voice is hoarse from crying, but it's steady now, calm. "I had my first customer last night."
"I know," Natsume speaks, and he speaks with gentleness, just as calm, "I know, Taki."
Kaname can imagine them embracing, a comfort they can afford on a slow day like today. A day where customers aren't impatient and waiting to be served. He wonders if it's wrong that heat pools into his stomach at the images his mind conjures. Scenes of Natsume kissing soft, red, petal-like lips. Scenes of a bare-chested Natsume rocking into her and soft gasps emitting from them both. It feels wrong and it feels right and he doesn't know what he wants anymore. Desire isn't something he knows as thoroughly as these two. And he can't stay calm either.
"Good night, Tanuma-san," Natsume says - and he always, always smiles. Fake and heartbreaking and Kaname can't stand it. There is nothing good about a night where Natsume can't be with him. So Kaname never says it back, and he fears he might be hurting Natsume more that way.
He decides to follow Natsume that night. He doesn't know what else to do.
The door to Matoba's room closes as he rounds the corner and he can hear the sound of a lock clicking into place. He knows for a fact there is no lock in that room, so he wonders if there is another world he isn't seeing. A world that ensnares them both and locks them in from the outside.
It isn't good to linger in the hallways at night, which can get crowded any hour of any day, so Kaname takes his chances with the room next door to Matoba's. It reeks of sake and smoke, but it's a smell that fills the whole brothel, and he doesn't mind it as much as he did before. More importantly, it's empty. He can close the door, press his ear against the wall - and wonder what exactly it is he thinks he's doing. This isn't going to get him anywhere. It isn't going to help anyone.
Natsume moans and Kaname feels that same heat from days ago. His cheeks go red and he awkwardly shifts, his legs falling open to ease the pressure. He shouldn't be here, he knows that, but Natsume is panting and making those little sounds and it's going straight to his groin. He can't move. His chest rises and falls, and that's it. He breathes faster, in time with the thud of his heart, and he can't do anything else. Want, want, want is filling him, but he doesn't know what to do with it.
He closes his eyes and thinks of Natsume. Not of his fake smiles or Matoba touching him. He thinks of what it would be like to have Natsume under him, pliant. Short brown hair fanning a white pillow. Untying the sash from Natsume's waist, slipping his hand beneath that simple blue yukata, brushing his thumb teasingly over a nipple. And then he would lean down, kiss him and -
His hand moves to his clothed groin and he jerks with the first touch. He wants so badly. He wants for Natsume to be here, for this to be Natsume's hand rubbing against him and making him feel good. He wants there to be no walls between them - and this conclusion makes him shudder as he comes.
He lays there, sticky and uncomfortable, and wonders what exactly it is he thinks he's doing.
Takashi wraps himself tighter in the blankets when there is a knock on Matoba's door. It can only be Tanuma with breakfast, but he's not hungry. He doesn't go check.
Tanuma will leave the food outside, someone will take it, and it won't go to waste.
To his surprise, it isn't Tanuma - because Tanuma wouldn't barge into the one place he was forbidden entry, because Tanuma is cautious and practical, because Tanuma isn't a girl. "Taki?" he asks, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "What are you doing here?"
"Your cat's back!" Her eyes are sparkling and Takashi shrinks back. "Come on, get dressed! It's out by the pond."
"Quiet," urges Takashi, "or do you want this to get back to Matoba-san?" Then he takes note that a very important something is missing. "Wait, where's Tanuma-san?"
"Everything gets back to Matoba-san," Taki dismisses, waving a hand. She slides the door shut for privacy and helps him get up, wincing at the raw sight he presents. "And I told lover boy to take a break. He seemed out of it this morning. You know, he's hardly a good bodyguard, falling down on the job like that." She goes to get a washcloth and Takashi lays facing down, waiting for her to get the worst of the treatment out of the way. It's not much, but it's better than nothing.
Matoba doesn't treat things he loves with any more respect than that.
The cold water stings when it makes contact with the cuts that need cleaning. Taki purposely leaves the more sensitive areas alone. She knows well that he can take care of that himself, and she knows from days long past that it embarrasses him to rely on her for this. Regardless, she goes about it clinically, and the salve she applies to the bruises is heaven-sent. The pain fades to a dull ache and it's enough. It would have to be enough because he can't afford any alternative.
"Give me a few minutes," he says quietly, and Taki leaves - but she doesn't go too far. She's always there to pick him up when he falls.
The cat really is there, sitting by the pond, tail swishing back and forth. Green eyes focus on Takashi as he approaches, and those eyes are full of intelligence and an eerie glow. It unsettles him, as well as intrigues him.
"See? I told you it was here!"
Takashi attempts a faint smile for his friend. "Yes, but what are we supposed to do with it? Pets aren't allowed."
Frowning, Taki says, "I didn't think that far ahead."
"You always get like that when you see something cute," sighs Takashi. Studying the cat, however, he can't see what's cute about it. It reminds him of a lucky-cat statue, with its large head and - beckoning paw? Was this cat for real? "Taki, pinch me. I think that cat just gestured for me to come to it."
Taki takes him seriously and pinches him with a big smile. "No, you're not seeing things, Natsume."
Takashi rubs his sore arm. "You didn't have to actually pinch me. That hurt."
"Stop flirting," the cat says impatiently, "and get over here, Natsume!"
Taki and Takashi gape, an imitation of the koi in the pond. "It speaks!" And while Taki is excited by the prospect, Natsume is equal parts worried and terrified. He backs away, taking Taki with him.
"Don't be a coward," insists the cat as it licks at its paw, "I thought you had more courage than that, kid."
"I'm not a coward." Takashi isn't sure why he's letting that get to him, but this white fluff-ball doesn't have the right to talk to him like that. Actually, it shouldn't be talking at all. "You're an ayakashi, aren't you?"
"Correct," the cat doesn't lie. And it's strange, because ayakashi are deceptive and prone to lying, but this one seems to have a whole set of different principles. Takashi doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing yet. "Now, that established, will you come here, brat?"
"My name's not brat," Takashi crosses his arms and doesn't move another foot. He notices Taki watching him curiously from the corner of his eyes, but he doesn't dare to look away from the not-cat in front of him.
"Fine, fine. Come here, Natsume."
"I decline." He turns and walks away - until something smacks him in the back of the head and he's forced to stop and regain his balance. "Ow! Did you just throw a stone at me, you pig-cat?"
"No," Taki raises her hand, "that was me." Takashi glares. "Shouldn't we hear him out?"
"You don't understand how dangerous ayakashi are," disagrees Takashi, but Taki puts her hands on her slim waist and her not-painted face is serious and determined. She looks completely different from the courtesan that fascinates with her fragile beauty and alluring laugh. This Taki is strong, a fighter - and she's someone that Takashi rarely wins against. "All right," he allows, reluctant, and faces the ayakashi cat head-on, "what is it you want?"
"You," the cat says, blunt as can be. Takashi nods - and then begins to walk away again. "Oi, don't misunderstand! Get back here, Natsume!"
"Please kidnap another boy to your liking," Takashi flatly decides, "I have things to do. So if you'll excuse me."
Once Natsume disappears into the brothel house, Taki makes a face and flops down onto the ground. The kimono will be dirty when she goes back inside, but she doesn't care. "You'll have to forgive, Natsume. He's … not a morning person," Taki explains, "and he doesn't like ayakashi."
"Hmph." The cat stretches in the grass and then slinks closer, sizing her up. "You don't seem like a powerful human, so why? Why are you so calm? If I return to my original form, I could eat you, child."
She kicks her sandals off and stands, heading towards the pond. "I guess … I don't see you as a threat." She dips her feet into the water and holds up her kimono. "And if I'm in danger -"
"Taki! What are you doing? I told you to stay away from …" Takashi trails off, flushing as he realizes the not-cat is still there - and very much amused by his quick return. "You did that on purpose," mumbles Takashi.
She steps out of the shallow water and closer to him. "My hero," she whispers in his ear.
"Don't do that again," Takashi's voice is harsh, no longer gentle, "I don't want anyone I care for near that pond." He grabs her hand, picks up her sandals, and pulls her forward. "Let's go. Matoba-san is back." He glances at the ayakashi before they leave and says, "Maybe I'll hear you out another time."
Mostly because Taki will throw more stones at him if he doesn't agree to that much. She's meticulous like that.