A/N: I am ETERNALLY sorry for the late updates but I have had so much on my plate… metaphorically, of course…Better late than never, eh? Heh? No? NO… PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
MEMOS
EUREKA!
Do I want to know?
Well I don't know; I'm not a mind-reader! Perhaps you should ask Sybil…
…
I can just hear your nostrils flaring…
…
And the fire that you're breathing…
…
Yikes…
You have got that right!
Ah, you're back. If you are the least bit interested -
Which I am not.
Oh… well… I just won't tell you then.
No! No. I mean… don't be so hasty… you always tell me things I don't want to hear…
You want to know, don't you?
NO.
You do.
I do not!
She totally does.
You stay out of this Severus!
Look, Minerva, I am a man. I will stick up for a fellow man.
I will not even tell you the euphemisms that are running through my head right now.
Thank you so much.
AHEM!
Quick, hide! I heard Dolores.
Typical Gryffindor. Run away from someone who has been in your school for five minutes!
First of all, that was a *joke*. And secondly, I take it you haven't had the chance to have a prolonged conversation with her?
And you have?
Well… it was more her talking to my leg…
What would Richard say?
No, I was making a joke about… on second thoughts, never mind…
Oh, a joke was it?
Yes.
Just don't laugh Minerva.
Why not?
Oooh, look, Dolores is at the door.
DUMBLEDORE!
Your turn to talk Severus!
Um…
Why shouldn't I laugh?
Because…
Out with it!
Well…
I'll set the hinkypunks on you!
Because your laugh sounds like a whale let loose with a foghorn - PLEASE DON'T KILL ME.
It. Sounds. Like. WHAT?
By the number of exclamation marks you just used, I take it that you're angry…
ANGRY is not the word for it!
I'll be off now! Albus is still reading the conversation, by the way.
Oh, I know!
…
I am coming for you, Dumbledore!
That's what she said.
ALBUS PERCIVAL WULFRIC BRIAN DUMBLEDORE!
Yeeeees?
You are going to wish that Umbridge - the vile, slimy, wretched toad that she is - was at your door when I get my hands on you!
Good afternoon, Minerva.
Dolores?
Yes. I was just telling the headmaster how concerned I was for you.
I beg your pardon?
Well, I was just saying how you cannot seem to control your temper around staff.
She was. I told her you would prove her wrong.
But I have proved you wrong, Dolores; you see I only lose my temper around you. I am sure the other staff would vouch for me on that.
Except Severus.
So, you tell me who the disruptive influence is.
I - I - well… I have never been so insulted in my life! How dare you insinuate that I -
Oh no, I'm afraid you've become a little muddled with age, dear. I was insinuating nothing. I was telling you.
Well I never - I …
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND she's out. She has left now and the world is safe once more!
I have to hand it to her though, she's a lot braver on paper.
A/N: Well, look at that, Severus took a leaf out of my book!