A/N: Ready to hear about the EUREKA! moment yet? I thought so. This is for slytherinslut13 and their Maths class (who are awesome).

MEMOS

Alright, Dumbledore, this is driving me crazy.

What is?

You are.

Well… I am flattered, but I just am not ready for that kind of relationship at the moment. Besides, you are a married woman as you KEEP reminding me.

Oh, don't be such a buffoon.

That's a new one.

You know I didn't mean it in that way.

Do I?

Now, what was your EUREKA! moment?

Um…

Yes?

Now, that's not encouraging; it's just off-putting.

Sorry.

It was… erm…

Out with it (written as patiently as possible).

I might have… forgotten it…

WHAT?

You took the words right out of my mouth, Severus.

…

But why are you butting in here?

I have just as much right as you do to be in this conversation!

Alright, don't get your wand in a knot.

Fine. I'm still staying a part of this, though.

Well if our esteemed headmaster here doesn't remember sharpish, you might get to see what murder looks like in writing.

Do continue.

I was just joking. But since you threatened me with death my memory seems to have become somewhat cloudier.

Don't play around with me, Dumbledore.

Fine. I am officially *A GENIUS* because I finally discovered the secret to your youthful look.

What?

What?

…

Hang on, Severus, you had better not mean that in the way I think you do!

No… I just mean that… he MUST be a genius to have worked that out. Do tell, Albus. QUICKLY!

I might just watch you squirm instead.

That sounds fun.

But I'm too nice.

Well how about being nice to me for a change?

I try. I really do.

GET ON WITH THE STORY BEFORE SHE KILLS ME!

Okay. Keep your greasy wig on.

…

Minerva, you are seventy years old.

Thanks for broadcasting that.

We all knew.

Nobody was talking to you.

And you look about fifty.

FIFTY?

Okay. Forty nine at a push.

How dare you?

Well you aren't exactly a spring chicken are you?

I'll have you know I am still a very attractive woman.

Yeah…

No comment.

Agreed.

Aw, Pomona! You too?

I couldn't resist.

Well I don't hear Richard complaining.

You're not exactly the most easy person to talk to, though, are you?

That's your opinion.

At least they think you look twenty years younger. Most think I look twenty years OLDER!

Anyway, your secret is all that EYEBROW RAISING YOU DO!

No it isn't.

Just hear me out! It elasticitates the skin or some fancy word like that (yes I did just make that up, Severus, before you insult me) and makes you appear younger.

Poppycock. That doesn't work for me.

Oooh, does little Severus want some skin potions for Christmas?

If I wanted some don't you think I would make some myself.

That's really not my secret.

Aww. I thought I was on to something there.

My secret is frogs.

What?

I eat frogs.

Why?

When I was young(er) I was dating a French guy and he introduced me to the French cuisine of frog legs and I liked them.

You would.

So I eat them every day. That's it.

Now, where did Hagrid put those frogs.

I'm leaving in disgust.

I'm leaving to find some frogs. Maybe they can change my hair colour back to its lustrous auburn goodness.

But you can do that with… never mind.

…

…

Do you think they bought it?

Totally.

…

Imbeciles.

A/N: Did anybody else know that a Dumbledore is a type of bee? No? Well… I shall just go and be a dork in the corner on my own…

Anyway, we are nearing the one hundredth memo. So in order to provide a fitting "anniversary" spectacular I will be willing to accept any suggestions anyone might have.