Chapter 31

Erik's POV

After my quick proposal, I decided to wait a little before setting a firm date for the wedding. I felt that I had allowed my impatience to possess Christine get in the way of my better judgment. I needed to curtail my carnal impulses so that either one of us could back out from our commitment with our dignity intact. Christine had shown me her love countless times over the past six weeks. I believe that she would have let me take her before our vows had been spoken, if I asked her to do so. I would never subject her to my lust in such a way. She was too innocent and sweet to deserve such a fate. In the meantime she would insist that I remove my mask in front of her whenever we were alone. She would tell me that she needed no barriers to separate her from me. At first I would flinch at her touch from force of habit. I couldn't help it. No one had ever touched me of their own accord, except to hurt me. She would spend much time studying me and memorizing every aspect of my hideous face and bald head. In time it became more comfortable that she did so. She curled up in my arms, and stared into my eyes and declared.

"I really don't understand why I was ever afraid of you, and especially your face. Everything about you is so sensuous and appealing. I barely notice your distortion any longer and when I do, I rather think that it adds character, yet detracts little from your overall handsomeness. Raoul, and even Christian, are too perfect, they both possess a certain form of symmetry but they do not possess your sensuality, not in the least bit. Everything about you, your voice, lips, body and even your face compel me to lose every bit of my composure when I am around you. Raoul used to tell me that you were simply hypnotizing me with some sort of magician's trick. For a while I agreed with him that it must be the answer, but I know now that you did nothing of the sort. It is just the pure sensuality of you that overwhelms me. You make me want to touch you and keep you to myself. I cannot help it. I cannot get enough of you. Does that make me wanton?"

I laughed at her characterization. "I think that the Vicomte was right, someone must have hypnotized you. I owe much to the unknown person who did so. It was not me, not that I am not capable of doing so, but I would never force someone to love me in such a way. I would never know if the emotions were real or simply imposed, and then the benefits would wear off quickly. But if you truly believe what you have told me, then I have no recourse but to believe that you are blind, mad or both. I can create all forms of beauty in song, in art and in architecture; but I cannot find even the smallest measure of beauty when I look in the mirror. I see only the face of death, nothing more."

She remained silent and then she ran her hands through one of my few tufts of almost nonexistent hair and massaged my barren scalp from back to front. I could feel the tension lifting from my head. She moved her hands across my head and massaged my temples still gazing deeply and lovingly into my half closed eyes. I could see her through my slightly opened eyes. I watched as she cupped my face in her open hands and planted a kiss upon my gratefully welcoming lips.

She whispered huskily "Perhaps a little mad with love but never blind. You have taught me that true beauty exists in the heart and not in my eyes. My heart tells me that you are handsome, mon ange. You must learn to accept my compliments without self- ridicule."

I looked at her skeptically, still not daring to believe her words. At times I still felt that her feelings for me must be a part of some sort of new plot by her and Raoul to destroy me. How could someone who had at one time been so clearly and so vocally repulsed by me, touch me and kiss me; seemingly without disgust? It made no sense to me, yet appeared to be true. She could sense my change of mood immediately.

"You still don't trust me completely mon ange. I can see it in your eyes." She told me accusingly.

"In my heart I do." I admitted to her "But I heard you so many times speaking of how you would like to escape from my face and from me, mon cherie. Trust has never been my strong suit. It will come in time. But you are still so young, and so changeable. A few months ago you were engaged to another man, and you were sure that you hated me."

"It is Meg and Madame Giry who are speaking against me, Erik. I know that they do not trust me. I have seen it in their eyes." She told me.

I could understand her accusations and, in good conscience, I could not deny them. They as well as Nadir had warned me more than once that I must pursue matters more slowly than I had at first.

"They need time as well, Christine." I explained to her tepidly. "Please do not think that we do not love you, we all do. It is just hard to give in completely, when so little time has passed. Trust is something that takes time to nurture and grow carefully. I promise you that I shall make you happy for the rest of your life, if you let me do so. I will give you everything that you could ever desire. I can even promise that in time, I will grow to trust you completely."

"Then give me your trust Erik, along with your heart. I promise you that I will not change my mind. That is why I am trying so hard to explain to you how I feel, and yet you don't believe it. You tease or mock me. I cannot marry you if you do not yet trust me." She told me. Her voice was laced with pain and bitterness.

I looked at her in alarm. "I'm sorry mon amour. I cannot change how I react. If I could wipe away all of the pain that we inflicted upon one another in the past I would do so immediately. I would wipe the stain of my past insanity from my own actions and court you in the way that you deserved, not try to impose my own feelings on you. I am surprised that you trust me, if you do." I looked at her, searching her eyes.

"I do trust you Erik, with every fiber of my being. That is a reason why I am so hurt that you cannot reciprocate my feelings in the same way. I know that you will never willingly hurt me and that you do love me completely; but I am afraid that our love will die if you cannot believe me when I try to explain how I feel. When I thought that you were dead, a part of me died as well. When I thought that you hated me, it was almost worse. I did not want to exist in a world without you, mon ange. You are my world and my music. But how can we be happy if there is no mutual trust?"

She looked at me and I could see the tears in her eyes. I gently caressed her cheek with my gloved hand and brushed an errant curl from her eyes. I wanted to calm her and give her my love but I would not lie to her. I vowed never to do so again. It was my prior deceptions which set the disastrous tone for our relationship back in Paris. I would not make the same mistake twice.

"Your wish is my command my dear. I can never deny you anything that you ask for. If you deem me handsome, I will doubt you no more. I will trust that you mean it no matter how ridiculous that it may sound to my own ears. You may compare me to Adonis, Apollo or even the Norse God Baldur if it pleases you. But if you know within your heart that you will never betray me again, then there is no reason for us not to marry. My trust will come in time; I have little doubt of it. But for me to be a man that you can love, I must treat you with the respect and honesty that you deserve. I want there to be no secrets between us to tear us apart once more. I will not lie to you again. With that in mind I cannot give you what you ask for, I cannot proclaim that I trust you completely, not yet. Perhaps I will do so in a day, a week, a month or a year but not now, not today. I am sorry my love."

"I guess that I can accept that. I suppose that I cannot blame you. Can we be married then right away? Perhaps next week?" she pleaded. "The trees are in full bloom now, and it is growing warm outside. I have always loved the spring and I think that it would make a beautiful time for our wedding. It is the season of renewal and fresh starts. We both need that. "

"You are that eager to bind yourself to me?" I asked incredulously. "You must trust in our future a great deal to wish to do so, so quickly." I told her.

"Of course I do. I thought that you wanted me?" Christine replied looking hurt.

I tried to explain "More than anyone or anything in the world, Christine but I do not want you to look at me with regret at our haste. I am far from a prize for you. I am older than you and hideous to boot. I am quick to anger, and have much blood on my hands. I have done unspeakable things. That night, when I kidnapped you and almost killed your boy, I was insane Christine; that man was not who I wanted to be. I never want to be that way again."

"You are not that man Erik, you never were. I know what I want and who I want and that man is you. When Raoul and I were engaged, I continuously thought of reasons for putting off our wedding. I did not want to admit it at the time, but I was very unsure of what I wanted, I thought that it was him, but it was you all along. Now I am impatient to marry you. I want to be your wife and bear you children." She told me.

I froze at the suggestion of children "But Christine, this is one issue that we must agree on ahead of time. As much as Christian proclaims my distortion to be something other than it is, there is a risk that our children would come out looking like me. Even if you could accept them the rest of the world might treat them as they do me. Can you really feel comfortable bearing children who are perceived as monsters? Even if they look normal they may not find anyone who will marry them at the risk of their children being like me. I am not sure that I would want our child to go through hell as I have had to."

She smiled at me. "They will be fine. They will have our love and the love of those around us. Your mother did not value you, and did not deserve to raise you. Our children will have both of us to show them that we love them. They will be fine. Since I have no trouble with your looks do you honestly believe that I would not accept my own child. I will love them just the same as a perfect child. We are all imperfect in many ways."

I looked at her and smiled "If you insist Mademoiselle Daae, I will make the arrangements for us to be wed as quickly as possible. I already have made some arrangements so the waiting period should be satisfied; but remember everything that goes against us. This is your last chance to take your freedom and run far away from me."

"Thank you Erik. I do love you so much."

I kissed her once more on the lips and replied "I love you too. Would it be alright if Christian and Meg marry at the same time? I think that my cousin might like that."

"Of course." She replied. "They do appear to be in love."

I teased "Let the record state that you agreed to push the date of our wedding forward. I will have no accusations from the Vicomte, or anyone else, that I coerced you in any way."

"I think that I have coerced you, if anything, mon ange." She admitted.

"Who would have ever guessed that you would do so? It was I that kidnapped you, not the other way around." I teased.

"Perhaps I will have to remedy that and kidnap you instead. Then we will be even." She teased.

"I shall look forward to that but please do not burn anything down or kill anyone to have your demands met. It can be quite distressing to be hunted and attacked by a mob. In that event I shall have to come and rescue you." I teased.

"You are very gallant, my very own heroic knight." She replied.

"Hah, I am more knave than knight Mademoiselle, if you want a knight go seek out my cousin. He loves to be heroic. He is always telling me his fairy tale stories. He wants to coerce the Staatsopern to perform some four opera cycle by a German composer, Richard Wagner. It is called Der Ring des Nibelungen. The operas are about the Norse gods. I am sure that you would like them with your Swedish blood and heritage but as a Frenchman, I prefer the more sedate Greco-Roman gods particularly Apollo."

Christine laughed "I thought that you were now German as well."

"Only because it suits me in the present context, darling. My mother tongue is still French and I truly love the beauty of my native tongue. Although my German is fluent and unaccented, my mind still works in French and always will no matter whose flag flies over this Chateau." I told her.

Moments later Nadir walked in and I could see from his face that he needed to speak to me alone. I sent Christine out of the room, to listen to what he had to tell me.

Nadir's POV

I rapped on the door of the study where Erik and Christine were speaking to one another. At times both of them raised their voices and I could hear them speaking animatedly. I did not really want to interrupt my friend, but it was time to tell him what I discovered. Christine left us alone. To my surprise Erik made no attempt to replace his mask and wig before speaking with me. It was a sign that he was growing less self -conscious when he was in his own surroundings. He saw my look off surprise and misinterpreted it as disgust.

He reached for both and I stopped him "It is okay doostam. I am comfortable looking at your true face. I am just surprised that you would be so casual, given your past apprehension of allowing anyone to see you."

"Christine prefers to see me as I truly am." He explained "She and my cousin have both advised me to spend as much time in the sun as possible. They both agree that more color in my cheeks and scalp make the contrast between my distorted skin and the rest of my face seem less, well skeletal. Personally I feel that I still look like death, no matter what I do, but if it pleases Christine that I do so, I will comply with her wishes."

"I agree with them both Erik, it is a vast improvement. You look much healthier than you did in Paris. You have always been too hard on yourself. With the exception of your disfigurement, you are a handsome man." I told him.

"Yet, I was fully exposed to the sun when the gypsies imprisoned me in that cage. No one called me 'handsome' back then." He reminded me.

"I did not know of you back then, but perhaps it was how you were displayed by them. I am sure that your captors made sure that you looked as much like the 'Devil's child' as could be allowed. In contrast, you have emphasized your more pleasing traits. I am not a woman, and do not claim to know what would attract them to you, but even I can see that you look very strong and masculine." I told him.

"Christine claims that I am 'a sensual being'; I observed that her eyesight must be failing. She took some offense to it and claimed that I did not trust her. She is correct of course. She almost broke our engagement over it, but I told her that in time that I would trust her. She accepted that and then begged me to set our wedding for next week, if not sooner. I have agreed to it." He told me.

"Perhaps she was telling you the truth when she called you 'sensual'. If only beautiful people could attract a mate, there would be far less people in the world. Who are we to judge what features might attract one person to another? You are too hard on Christine; first you were bitter because she would not look for the man behind the 'monster' now you berate her for seeing only the man and not the 'monster'. You cannot have it both ways Erik. You will argue less frequently if you will grant her the right to admire you in her own way. I am sure that she was trying to show you that she has truly conquered her past apprehensions and now admires you." I watched his face change in the realization that I sided with Christine.

"I never thought of it quite that way Daroga. I told her that I would let her speak about me in that sense but in my heart I knew that I was just doing so to please her. I guess that I will have to change my perceptions completely and understand how she can consider me to be attractive. Thank you for your help with this doostam. As always, you are a wellspring of advice." He smiled at me appreciatively.

I smiled back "You forget that I was married for almost twenty years Erik. I know much about a woman's heart from experience, or at least how to deal with their irrational side. It is almost always better to look at things from their point of view before you open your mouth."

Erik laughed "I will heed your advice, my Persian sage."

With the lighter side over I felt that I had to bring up my real reason for seeing my old friend.

"Listen Erik, I have looked into both your cousin and the Comtesse, and have found more than one potential issue for concern.

Erik raised a finely sculpted eyebrow "What have you found? Is Christian a vampire? This Chateau would certainly support such a theory. It is so dark and forboding." He teased.

I looked at him to stop him "Listen, it is serious." I related to him everything that I had discovered over the past six weeks.

Erik interrupted "So Christian and his father believed that my grandfather was the Baron in question? Why would he harm his own brother? Was he a murderer like me?"

I always hated when Erik called himself a murderer. "With the exception of his owner who deserved his fate, Erik's 'murders' were carried out on behalf of the lawful authority of the Persian government. While it had been true that at first Erik had performed his duties with enthusiasm, eventually he turned against the spectacle that he was forced to create to please both the Shah and the Khanum.

"You are not a murderer, Erik. But I will not argue this point yet again, and no, I do not think that your grandfather was either. The evidence clearly points to the Comtesse as the instigator. The murderer had been a petty thief in the past, and was hired by her household with full knowledge of that fact. He disappeared shortly after he was hired and turned up in Germany. Later his son and widow received a large sum of money from the 'Comte' and the son became the proprietor of an inn in town near the train station; the same inn where Mademoiselle Daae waited for the Comtesse. I spoke to the proprietor and he told me that the Comtesse had given his mother a large sum of money after his father's death. She claimed that she felt sorry for their condition having lost her own father at a similar age. However, other servants' families of much longer standing received no pension in similar circumstances. I think that we can assume that she had a very good reason to compensate the murderer's family. " I paused. I could see that Erik was deep in thought.

"So it was the Comtesse who was the murderess. She had my great uncle killed and hoped that my grandfather would be prosecuted as well, very clever. She killed two birds with one stone, but my grandfather did not die." He continued.

"No, and that is not the end of it. There were more mysterious deaths. The next victim was your father, and then perhaps your grandfather, but many years later. Your uncle appears to have died of natural causes in battle but the other two deaths are very much debated." I told him what I had learned about Charles' and his grandfather's deaths.

He looked at me in alarm "She would go that far? Why?"

"I do not think that she was directly involved. I think that it was Charles death was ruled an accident from lack of evidence, but the inquest showed that a tall blond German man was seen in the area where the masonry collapsed shortly before the accident. The description sounds a lot like Christian, but he was only an infant. It could have been his father. No one bothered to follow up on it because your father had no apparent enemies. He was universally liked. He had a very kind nature. He was, by many accounts, your grandfather's favorite child."

"But my father was completely innocent." Erik argued. "Why harm him? It makes no sense?"

"Murder rarely makes sense Erik. Logic is rarely involved; it is usually a crime of passion. In this case, perhaps your father was an easier target. Perhaps Otto wanted him to suffer as he did." I told him.

"You are right Daroga as always. What about my grandfather? How did he die?" Erik asked me suddenly very interested.

"He died very peacefully, in his sleep. But he was only 70 years old and had no history of health issues. Christian was seen leaving his suite that night but most people thought little of it. Since Christian had gone out of his way to seek you out and have you named as the heir, there was no cause to suspect him."

"So, my 'perfect cousin' may be a murderer." Erik concluded with more than a little alarm. I knew that he seemed too good to be true."

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I know that you have come to like him immensely."

"I did, I did not sense that he is a bad person. On the contrary he seemed uncommonly kind; but I suppose that to someone else the Vicomte seems kind and he is a viper." Erik mused. "Perhaps I should seek my cousin out and question him in my own way. He is an intelligent man; if he were innocent he would have come to me with his suspicions.

"Your 'own way' of questioning is at times unduly harsh. Perhaps he is what he represents himself to be." I told him calmly. "Why don't you let me speak with him?"

"Because I want to be there to view his reactions, I will know if he is lying." He replied angrily.

"But you may go overboard." I told him. "Please retain your composure."

"You are always my conscience, Daroga. If he is innocent he will not be harmed."

"Keep that in mind, he may be innocent. There is one more mysterious death. The Comte de la Bois died of an accident similar to the others shortly after your grandfather's death. He was apparently very despondent over your grandfathers' death. It was known that there had been little love between him and the Comtesse for many years prior to his death." I added.

"Again, speculation but no solid proof." Erik told me.

"Exactly." I agreed. "But far too many coincidences. There is one more interesting fact that I have uncovered; it is about the Vicomte."

Erik grew even more alert "What about him? What does the fop have to do with any of this?"

"He is most definitely the Comtesses' grandson. He may even be your cousin; if she spoke the truth when she confronted your grandfather." I told him.

"The Vicomte and I cousins? I sincerely doubt it. He is far too stupid to be a Mulheim." Erik sneered.

I laughed knowing his disdain for the boy "Perhaps so, but it is a distinct possibility. His mother was born at the same time that the Comtesse had a miscarriage. The Vicomte's mother was known to be adopted. She was never pregnant."

Erik looked at me in horror "Well it looks like I was right to look into both the Comtesse and my cousin. You are truly amazing doostam as always. Perhaps my cousin and the Vicomte have been plotting against me all together. He seemed too eager to help me reunite with Christine. Perhaps all of them have been in collusion against me, even Christine. If my cousin was involved I will make him pay."

I looked at my old friend with alarm. Perhaps I should have left out the information about Raoul. Erik was far from rational whenever his old rival was involved.

I tried to calm him."You shouldn't jump to conclusions Erik. We must protect ourselves and proceed with extreme caution. It would seem that your bucolic German hideaway may have more mysteries than the morass that you left back in Paris. We need to find out the game that everyone is playing and stop any further 'accidents' that may crop up in the future."

Erik looked at me in agreement. "We have our work cut out for us."

"I am afraid that your retirement to Persia might need to be delayed for now. It would seem that there is a true opera taking place right under our noses." Erik observed glibly. "In the meantime I am going to find my cousin and deal with him in my own manner."

"You are not going to break your vow to me are you Erik?" I asked him.

He gave me a deadly stare which reminded me of how he used to look in Persia before he executed someone.

"No vow will be violated my dear Daroga." He told me calmly "If I kill my cousin it will be an act in self-defense. I do believe that you told me that it would be acceptable for me to do so in that instance?"

I started to follow him, but he stopped me. "Do not follow me Daroga, you may not like what you see. You would not have stopped me from killing the boy and you will not be able to stop me this time either. Wait here and I will be back." He strode away leaving me behind to contemplate his meaning. I prayed to Allah, that my old friend would face his cousin with a cool head but knew that it was far from likely that he would do so. In many ways I could not blame him. I would not stop him from doing what he felt that he must to keep himself safe. I decided to grab a weapon and follow him. My policeman's instincts were still intact.