Chapter 32

Meg's POV

How I wish that I still felt close enough to Christine to confide in her. I am so completely head over heels in love with Christian. He is as close to perfection as any being in this world could be. We went for a walk by the river. The spring flowers were in full bloom. The water looked like one of those paintings by an artist whose works I had seen for sale in Paris by the name of Claude Monet. I had seen some of his work in some art galleries in Paris. A similar style of artist named Edgar Degas, once came to the Opera Populaire to paint one of our practices for the ballet. They were starting to call the work by such artists, impressionism. I used to dine at the Café Guerbois on Sundays and Thursdays and I would see many of these artists gathered together just talking and sometimes arguing or even painting together. They all knew one another intimately and were, for the most part, good friends.

There was a story that one of the artists had become so incensed that he challenged another to a duel back in 1870. I told Christian all about it and he laughed good- naturedly. He remembered one of the older Prussian commanders in Paris remarking that such artwork was garbage. He turned his nose up at the so called 'degenerate art' of the French. Christian and I debated over relative merits of French and German art. We both took the most extreme positions just to annoy the other. We each became more outrageous just to rile the other until suddenly Christian reached over to me and kissed me passionately on the lips. We argued no more, each agreeing that the current activity was much more engaging than the last one. We sat there kissing and caressing one another in the grass. Then suddenly Christian stopped and pulled away as if remembering something. I looked at him in alarm believing that I had done something wrong. His mood had changed from playful to distant in only a moment's time.

When I asked him what was wrong he replied "I think that I have fallen in love with you Meg Giry and it is not a wise thing for me to do."

I pulled away from him hurt "Why not Christian? Is it because you are a Baron and I am a dancer? Am I really not good enough for you?"

"No Meg, it is the other way around. I am not good enough for you. You are a lovely innocent girl and I am none of those things. I am not who, or what I appear to be." He told me sadly.

"You are not making any sense Christian. I see nothing wrong with you at all. You are handsome, intelligent, titled and wealthy and best of all you have a great personality. Why would you tell me that you are not good enough for me? I am only a ballerina, of humble origins." I looked at him still not understanding. He looked away and then turned back towards me.

"Can I trust you Meg to keep an open mind if I tell you something terrible? What if I asked you keep to a dark secret from everyone especially Erik." He looked at me so earnestly his eyes burned into mine.

"Yes." I told him "If I must I would do so as long as you will not harm or betray him."

"That's just it, he will feel betrayed" he looked at me mournfully.

He cupped my face in his hands and asked me "Swear that you will keep my secret no matter how terrible that it might be. I need you to know who I really am if we are to proceed with our relationship. I am not sure that we can do so even if I do tell you the truth. Perhaps it is too late for us."

I looked at him in concern. I could see that whatever it was, it was bothering Christian quite a bit. I had seen flashes of desperation in my earlier interactions with him, but I had never really thought that they were anything more than moodiness. After all he was Erik's cousin and I knew that Erik could be very changeable in mood. I figured that it was a family trait.

"Tell me what it is Christian. I promise that I will keep an open mind." I replied.

"But you still have not agreed to what I ask of you and without it I will not tell you." he repeated.

I could not see what he could have done that would have been so bad; killed a few Frenchmen in battle. Nothing prepared me for the truth of what it was.

"I swear." I told him. "Tell me what it is."

He looked at me his troubled green eyes looked much like Erik's did when he was the Phantom so passionate and yet so sad.

He swallowed "I killed Erik's grandfather."

I snapped to attention "What. You can't be serious."

He looked away "I am deadly serious. I was young, newly discharged from the army. I had the opportunity to do it and get away with it."

"Why?" I asked him angrily "Why would you do that? Was it for the money?"

"No. It was for honor, the family honor. From the time that I came of age, I was sworn to get revenge on him if I had the opportunity." He told me.

"But he was your family. Your great uncle I believe. I don't understand." I told him.

"I was told that he killed my grandfather. All of my life I had been led to believe so. Now I am not so sure that he did it, but then I did not question what I was told or what I was required to do." He admitted.

"Why would he kill your grandfather?" I asked.

"I have asked myself the same question again over and over again. At the time I was told that it was proven fact. The more that I got to know him, the less that I could believe that he was capable of the act; but until now, if I dared question the truth it would have meant that all that came before was wrong, completely wrong, and we were monsters." He told me. He was very agitated. I was in complete shock.

Still I asked "What do you mean by all that came before?"

"My father did a terrible thing as well. It was even worse than what I did." He told me.

I felt sick to my stomach but went on "What did he do?"

He looked at me gravely and continued "He killed his cousin, Erik's father. He wanted to make the old man suffer as he did when his parents died." He looked away from me and then faced me again. He had a broken look in his eyes "So you see I cannot marry you. I am a murderer. It is why I have never married. I could not marry after that. I could not benefit from my great uncle's death. I can still see the look in his eyes right before I smothered him. It was as if he had known and forgiven me but who can forgive themselves for cold blooded murder? I know that I can't. I never will. So you see why what we are doing is pointless."

I suddenly felt sorry for this broken man. I reached for him as if he were a child and comforted him. "If he forgave you then who am I to judge? Who is anyone to do so? What you have told me is terrible but I believe that if you told Erik he would forgive you. He has much in his own past that he regrets. He never knew either his father or his grandfather but he knows you."

"But his life would have been better. He has suffered greatly from both my father's actions and my own. His grandfather would have given him a better life than the one that he has known. Besides it is not over yet." He told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked with alarm. "You are not planning on killing Erik are you? Even if his grandfather did kill yours, surely whatever vengeance that his act stirred up would have been satisfied by Erik's grandfather's death. Erik is innocent of all of it."

"My father calls for his death as well, but I will refuse to lift a hand against him, but he is in grave danger from the Comtesse. She has tried to blackmail me into killing him by exposing me, but until now I have pretended to go along with her. But she grows suspicious of me and has concocted another plan. She has already made one attempt on Erik's life but he does not yet realize it. I have been trying to find out her new plan before I expose her."

"Why would the Comtesse hate Erik? What is her involvement in this?" I asked him.

"His grandfather refused to marry her, after my grandfather got her pregnant. She was in love with both Mulheims but my grandfather had already married so she expected his to marry her instead. Not only did he refuse to do so but he tried to stop her from marrying the Comte. She has killed before she is very dangerous." He warned. "She appears to be harmless but she is completely unhinged and has always been so. It was she who convinced my father that his Uncle had killed his parents. I believe that it was her all along and she has been playing us against one another. I have no proof as of yet but I know both her and my great uncle. My great uncle appears to have been a good man; she is a witch." I could hear the anger in his voice.

"How did she try to kill Erik before?" I asked.

"I reported to her that he was the Phantom of the Opera. Her grandson, the Vicomte de Chagny, had been Christine Daae's playmate as a child and he spoke of her often and very lovingly. It was difficult for anyone to get to the Phantom because he had protected himself so completely in his lair beneath the Opera house. She convinced her grandson to become a patron; she even gave him the money to do so. She went to Paris and visited the Opera house herself, sitting with her 'distant cousin' Raoul on the night of Christine Daae's debut. When she realized that Christine had some sort of relationship with the Phantom she encouraged her grandson to rekindle their relationship. It soon turned to love, and then you know the rest, except for the fact that she would egg him on and she convinced him that he would appear most heroic if he were to kill the Phantom and free Christine Daae of her stalker. He would get his girl and she would have her revenge on another Mulheim. The scene changer's death helped further her cause, once Erik became a complete outlaw."

I looked at him guiltily "Yet it was maman that actually killed Buquet. He was there and he did stop him from hurting me but it was maman who came at him from behind and stabbed him. Erik insisted on taking the blame. He claimed that it would induce the managers to follow his orders more slavishly, and protect my and my mother's reputations from harm."

"Well you could not have known what was really going on. The Comtesse was quite proud of her manipulations. She would brag to me that it would be she that would personally take care of the Phantom for us, and not I." He told me.

"Was the Vicomte a willing participant or did she manipulate him? What about Christine is that why she is here; to lure the Phantom into another trap?" I asked him. I had to know.

"I believe that he was duped as well. Christine is innocent as well. She is good at using people, like chess pieces, to play her murderous games. No Roman patrician could have outplayed her at deception. I think that Raoul is still to be her instrument. Christine's presence in the Schloss is no accident of fate, nor was the broken down carriage that brought the Comtesse here to stay. She arranged to be waiting for him to assess Erik. She brought Christine to the Schloss to exploit Erik's well documented obsessive love for her. I am afraid that it is my fault, when Erik arrived I notified the Comtesse that the Phantom had come to the Schloss. At the time, I believed that my 'murderous' cousin might be the greater danger. It did not take me long to realize that like me, he was not who he appeared to be on the surface. He is very much like his grandfather, intelligent and generous. Once I got to know him, I could no longer make any moves against him but I am in a bad position. If I tell him then I will lose his trust and his friendship. I have deceived him from the beginning, but I swear, on all that is holy, that I have changed my mind. I wish him only good."

"I believe you." I told him fervently, and I did. He did not have to tell me any of this. "But you must tell him before he finds out the truth from someone else. He is very perceptive and he will eventually know the truth and if he believes that you are a threat to him he will kill you. He is not as bad as what he is reputed to be, but he will do whatever it takes to keep himself and his loved ones safe, especially Christine."

Christian nodded in agreement "It is why I have said nothing so far. I have been at a loss on what to do."

I told him again "Tell him the truth, immediately and as you have told me, do not delay. What you have done is terrible but you were young and manipulated into killing his grandfather. You had nothing to do with his father's death. Erik has a terrible past as well as you. He has done a great many things that he now regrets. Go to him now and tell him everything. Throw yourself on his mercy and he might forgive you. He is in a good mood at the moment, now that Christine has accepted him."

Christian looked at me with hope in his eyes "Do you think that he will forgive me?"

I smiled back at him "A few months ago I would have said no. Until recently I was afraid of him because I did not really know who he was as a person. Now that I have seen his patience with Christine, I think that he might. No doubt, he will be very angry and his temper is horrible. He has reduced many people at the Opera House to blathering idiots, but in the end, I do think so. I have found that much of what he does is both for his own protection and for the people that he cares about."

"Will you still have me if I tell Erik everything?" he pleaded.

"I am not terribly troubled by your past. I think that you were manipulated by an evil person, and you were too young and naïve to know that until now. Because I know this to be true I do forgive you. Your punishment, if any, will come when you are judged by God for what you did."

He pulled me to him and gave me a passionate kiss on my lips. I responded in kind.

"Thank you Meg. I knew that you were special from the first time that I laid eyes on you. You have lifted a great burden off of my shoulders. I will do as you said and tell Erik everything and throw myself on his mercy."

Suddenly, as if God himself had descended from heaven to sit in judgment on Christian, I could see Erik approaching us; his unmasked face wore a mask of rage. It was too late already for Christian to confess. The Phantom knew everything, he always did. We had already started walking back towards the Chateau, which turned out to be a blessing. Erik had no place to hide but had to approach us in plain view. I prayed that his much feared Punjab lasso would not find a new home around Christian's neck. I could see that Erik had the fearsome weapon in his hand, ready to use it. I had to think quickly to protect Christian from his wrath. I immediately kicked Christian in the crotch as hard as I could, to try to knock him down. He doubled over in pain, which spared his head from being garroted. I then threw myself down on top of him. Christian had not yet spotted Erik, and did not understand what I was doing; instinctively he tried to fight me.

I quickly warned Christian "stay down"

I looked over to Erik who looked like he was about to kill me instead.

"Stop" I shouted loudly. It had little effect "For goodness sake Erik, stop. He is not your enemy."

"Has he turned you to his side little Giry?" he thundered. A short time ago he would have petrified me but he did not scare me anymore. I had to appeal to his saner side.

I tried to remain calm, to show Erik that I could stand up to him "There is no other side Erik. Please remember I saved your life before. I am your friend. My maman is your friend too. You would not harm me after all that we have shared?"

He slowed for a moment and looked at me, sanity started to reappear in his eyes. I repeated my earlier words and pleaded "Just stop, and listen. Let him explain. Don't do something that we will all regret." I stood up and stared into his eyes. "Please Erik, I love him."

He continued to stare into my eyes and then, to my relief, he dropped his lasso and told me "You have won the day little Giry. I will listen to what he has to say, but if I hear anything but the truth from his lips, I will tear him limb from limb, make no mistake about it. I am more than capable of doing so."

I calmed myself down and turned to Christian "I am sorry that I had to hurt you Christian but it was the only way that I knew to save your life. Please tell Erik what you just told me." I looked back at Erik and plead. "Please keep an open mind. I had already convinced Christian to come to you, and explain his situation to you. I told him that you would be more sympathetic if he confessed everything before you found out. Clearly he was too late, but still Erik, I swear that we were on our way to tell you everything. Until now Christian has kept quiet because he has been threatened by the Comtesse. She knows every secret and has been using him to get what she wants. Christian did not dare come to you because he was not yet certain that you were not the worse of the two evils that he was presented with. He did not really know you before, but ever since he has met you, he has wanted to do the right thing. Please give him a chance to tell you everything; if not for his sake then for mine. I promised him that you are a fair man, not the madman that your reputation would suggest."

I could see Erik relaxing his stance over the next few minutes while Christian confessed the whole matter to Erik. In truth I was not entirely sure how Erik would react. Although he had once helped me when I had been in need and I had seen him at one of the lowest points in his life. I did not truly know whether he would be the angry, vindictive Phantom of the Opera or the more gentle man that I had tended to when he had been wounded. I had based my recommendation to Christian on what my mother had told me of the former Phantom. I prayed for Christian's sake and for my own heart that I was not wrong about him.

He listened to Christian's confession very quietly and with little commentary, a far cry from the crazed madman who first confronted us. They discussed everything as if they were discussing the weather, or the opera. Erik did ask Christian whether or not he thought that Christine was involved in the plotting. He indicated that he believed her to be innocent of all deception. After a while he turned to me and asked me calmly

"What do you believe little Giry? Do you believe that my cousin is telling the truth?"

I replied truthfully "Yes, I do Erik. Can you forgive him? Please."

He looked at me first and then at Christian and spoke very softly and thoughtfully. It was a new aspect of Erik that I had never encountered before. "Christian has lied to me from the moment that I met him. He plotted with the Comtesse against me from the beginning. My life might have been better if my father and grandfather had not been murdered. Christian you claim that my grandfather murdered yours but Nadir has proof of his innocence."

Erik turned to Christian, "Your father should have done more research before killing his own cousin and then sending you to kill my grandfather. He may bear the name of Mulheim but it is clear that he lacks our intelligence. You cousin are intelligent, and your therefore have no excuse for being duped by that woman. At best I should have nothing more to do with you. Until now, you have betrayed me in every way and at every point in our relationship."

Christian looked at him in shame "Yes I have." He confessed. "For what it is worth, I am very sorry. If you let me go, I will return to Bonn and leave you in peace." He started to leave. Erik raised his hand as if to stop him.

"Wait. I did not finish." Erik told him.

I looked at Erik in alarm, wondering if the past moments had been the calm before the storm. Erik looked at both of us and gave us each a wary smile.

"I am not a religious man, not by any measurements. Nadir has often told me that I should believe in some sort of higher power but I cannot do so." He pointed to his unmasked face and continued "No divinity could endow an innocent child with a face such as this and expect any sort of gratitude. But, I was raised as a Catholic and remember one passage from the Bible that I feel applies in this situation 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone.'"

For the first time I dared to hope that Erik would forgive his cousin.

He continued "I am as far from innocent as a man can get. I have killed many who have not deserved to die. I cannot find it in my heart to continue this unfortunate feud between our branches of the family. I will not cast the first stone."

Christian looked at Erik with grateful tears in his eyes. "You will not have cause to regret it cousin. I promise that I will never betray you again."

Erik looked at me and smiled "If I were you Meg Giry, I would severely question your taste in men; you seem to have a soft spot for murderers and other villains."

He turned back to Christian "You owe your life to Mademoiselle Giry, if it were not for her I would have gladly disposed of you here and now, but I owe both her and her mother a huge debt for their loyalty to me. I would not repay them with your blood. See to it that you take action to restore my trust. If you betray me again, there will be no one who will be able to stop me from seeking vengeance on behalf of my father and grandfather. I am very disappointed in you Christian. I do not bestow my trust easily, not with the life that I have been forced to lead."

Christian looked at him sadly "I promise you Erik, I will do whatever you ask and whatever it takes to restore your good opinion of me."

Erik smiled coldly "You will come with me and we will seek out the Daroga, and together we will figure out how to remove the Comtesse and her threats from our lives for good. Until now I have never killed a woman but I think that here I might have to make an exception. I know of no one more deserving of death than she is."