Chapter 33

Erik's POV

My cousin's treachery was not a shock to me. Treachery towards me was more a rule, than an exception. I have never known a single person in my life who did not betray me in some way or the other, with the exception of Meg Giry. It was her bravery that saved the day for Christian, because I did intend to kill him, eventually at least. My first intent was to squeeze my Punjab lasso around his neck until he blurted out, every secret that he knew, and then, I would have killed him. I did not have the luxury of affording him pity. I am glad that little Giry interfered. I am sure that my blasted conscience would have betrayed me if I had killed him. I also knew that Nadir was lurking behind me somewhere as well, to make sure that I had reason to kill him, before he acted. He knew better than to overtly stop me. One betrayal was enough for him. I had hoped that my painful past could finally be put behind me, but perhaps God had found a new way to torture me, give me a taste of what my life might have been so that he might throw me back into the pit of hell that I had crawled out of. Perhaps I really did need to build a mirrored maze here. The dark Chateau certainly could use a dungeon in which to keep all of my enemies.

I spoke the truth when I spared my 'dear cousin' from my further wrath. Meg Giry had proven herself to me by saving my life twice and by restoring a little of my shattered faith in humanity. When she kissed my hideous face without reservation, she earned my undying gratitude. When I listened to my wretched cousin, I realized that she was right. He was merely an unwitting tool in an evil woman's game. Even the boy, most likely, was manipulated by her. Who would suspect that a little old lady like her was a psychopath? But I did from the beginning, thanks to the Khanum. She too, was a little old woman, who was seemingly benign; but in truth, she was the most wicked person that I had ever met until now. It would seem that she had a soul mate right here in Alsace who enjoyed a similar taste in murdering her perceived enemies. On one level I could vaguely comprehend the Comtesses' motive in killing my grandfather and his brother. I too had wrestled repeatedly with the darker side of my nature. Most of the time I was able to keep that part of me, which the world had named the Phantom, under control. I could not understand the Comtesses' need to bring the war to succeeding generations. At least the cursed Khanum's persecutions bore some basis, albeit a slim one. The Comtesse struck out blindly murderous. Perhaps Otto and Christian were her weapons of choice, but it was her hand that guided their swords.

I had always considered myself to be blood thirsty and wicked in my own right, but at least I had committed my acts in defense of either myself, or my few allies, in this otherwise miserable existence. My ultimate end has always been to find a place where I could be viewed as an ordinary man- not as a monster- and surrounded by love and beauty and music. I wanted to be loved and to love, not to hate. I wanted to use my hands to create not destroy, and to give pleasure, not pain, but that has never been an option for me. The Comtesse appeared to have had it all, beauty, a title and wealth, why did she feel the need to wallow in blood? What were her aims? When would her lust for blood be sated?

For no other reason but to thwart the woman's design I felt the need to heal the decades' long rift between the two branches of the Mulheim family. It seemed of little value to destroy the survivors. My cousin and his father would have to live with the consequences of their acts. They murdered innocent people in the name of honor and might have killed me for the same reason. Worse yet their victims were of their own blood. In all of my past depravities I had never killed anyone who I could call a kinsman or even a friend. Their need for vengeance almost led to the extinction of an ancient and proud family. I was not even aware of my family and their history before I fled to this place, yet they were. They knew what they were destroying and yet proceeded to do so. I would never look at my cousin in the same light. I could not ever completely trust him, but then again I never had. He seemed, in a word, too perfect. In a way, he opened the door to a more realistic relationship with him. I was no longer murderous, hideous Erik, the madman of Paris and the Angel of Doom of Persia. He was no longer the golden Norse god. The idol had fallen and we were even now. He was no more deserving of being the master of this Chateau, and the head of our family, than I was. He was perhaps less so, since he killed the last head of the family. From now on I would wear my title without the guilt of believing my cousin to be the better man. We were both flawed. I would not go back on my word to share my inheritance, but I would no longer share the title of head of the family with him. This Chateau was truly mine now. It was more my domain than the Opera House had ever been because my title was the product of centuries of labor, and I bore the cursed mark of Apollo on my hideous face. I had earned my place.

I looked at my cousin, and could feel his agony. I granted him my absolution, like a king bestowing a pardon on an errant subject. Like any king, I would use my subject for my own benefit, and reward him with my good graces if he complied with my demands. I felt the power that I had fled from at the Opera, return to me in full glory. I would embrace my power like a prodigal son. My perceived omnipotence had always been both my sword and my shield.

When Meg was out of earshot Christian looked at me, like a slavish dog, and asked

"Do you really forgive me? Or were you just saying that you did for the benefit of Meg?"

"A little bit of both." I admitted honestly "As you well know I am no paragon of virtue but I also know that you are not either. It changes the dynamics of our relationship, but I see it as a potentially positive development. To know the truth of our past is to change the scope of our future. We were clearly born to be at odds but we can change that fate to suit us. In the end we will both be stronger if we join forces. What is your father like? Will he continue to side with the Comtesse based on her lies? Or will he side with his own family against her?"

"My father is a weak man, and open to manipulation. I would not trust him if I were you. It would likely destroy him if he acknowledges what he has done. He might not want to face the truth. He does not know the Comtesse well, but he believes her lies. I believe that at one time she might have even used her body to obtain his loyalty. She was quite beautiful even into her fifties. She knew how to please a man." He added.

I looked at him in shock, at this new revelation. "That is unexpected since she must be at least twenty years older than him. I am pleased that you have been honest with me about him. You could have tried to deceive me once more, since I know little about your father, other than that he is a murderer."

"In the short time that I knew him, I was closer to your grandfather than I was to my own father. My father is a very bitter man. He feels that by losing his parents at such a young age, he was deprived of his right to be a part of our family. He wants our branch of the family to have everything in compensation for what was taken from him." Christian confided.

"If you were close to my grandfather then why did you do it? Why did you kill him? Didn't you question it at all at the time?" I asked.

"I was trained to be a soldier, and to obey my parents in all matters. I was a young man fresh out of the army, and I had spent my entire life being told that your grandfather murdered mine. What would you have had me do, confront your grandfather with our accusations? Ask him why he did it, if he did do it would he have admitted it? I doubt it. Would you have?" he asked me defensively.

"Yes I would have admitted it if I had done it. If the offense against me was great enough to incur my retribution I would have told you the truth and stood by what I had done. If he and I were alike in any way then he would have admitted it to you." I told him strongly with an edge to his voice.

"You and he are exactly alike." He told me. "He would be angered fairly easily but his anger was usually warranted. I have mourned his loss every single day since I killed him. He haunts me still."

I couldn't help but to laugh "So you have your own personal Phantom. I guess that if I took that role it would be redundant then?"

I could see the pain in his eyes and pitied him.

"I'm sure that my grandfather has forgiven you. If not then perhaps Meg can distract you from feeling his presence. I have found that Christine has been a good antidote for me. It is hard to feel depressed when you know that a beautiful woman is in love with you. I still have trouble believing that she is, after everything that has happened, and of course because of this."

I was suddenly aware that I had not worn my mask for several hours, since Christine pulled it off when we were kissing. I felt a little drained, first from my argument with her, then from Nadir's revelations and then finally from the whole business with Meg and Christian: to think that I woke up that morning in a good mood. The sun was shining, the flowers were in bloom and I could hear the birds chirping. What a beautiful day it was to plot someone's downfall. Would I ever have the chance to fulfill my dreams and enjoy my life? Or would someone always be there trying to destroy me? Just then I heard some footsteps behind me and I knew which man made the sound.

I called out to him in amusement "You may walk along side us Daroga. My cousin survived his encounter with me, at least for now. He has been forgiven. He has explained his part in this drama and has clarified many remaining questions that we had."

We stood and glanced behind ourselves. Moments later the Persian reappeared. I could see that he had a gun in his pants.

"Who were you planning on shooting with that piece, me or my cousin? I never know whose side that you are on these days, Daroga." I asked him. In truth I knew the answer he would have pulled the weapon on me in a feeble attempt to stop me from acting like a madman. Even if I were mad, he would not have shot me, but it would have offered me a final chance not to kill Christian and to yet save face. It was not the first time that Nadir had brought a gun with him just in case. He had always been my light in the darkness.

"I am always on your side Erik, but you do not always act in your own best interest. Do you want the German police to put a price on your head as well for your rash actions? I am glad that Meg Giry had a clear head and was able to keep you at bay so that Christian could explain his part in this business." He told us.

Christian replied "I wish that she had found a more drastic way to help me. I am not sure that I will ever be able to sire a child after this. The burden of doing so will all be on you and Fraulein Daae cousin."

Since he brought up Christine I mused "Why were you so eager to help Christine and I reconcile? Certainly any entente between us would make me more rational. I can see why the Comtesse would want to throw her in my path, given my propensity for insanity when dealing with Christine?"

Christian replied "Because I truly wished to see you happy cousin. Despite what you think, not every interaction between us was a betrayal by me. My feelings of admiration and friendship towards you are sincere. I was not planning on betraying you at all, at least not after I met you. Before then I knew you only by your dark reputation. It took me less than five minutes into our acquaintance to throw all of my preconceived notions about you away and seek your friendship instead."

I snorted in disbelief "A fine friend that you turned out to be If you intended to be my friend you should have come clean with me right away. Did you honestly believe that I would despise you for killing my grandfather, a man that I never knew? You are not the only man in the world who was persuaded to do something unsavory against his better judgment. My friend Nadir can tell you many stories about a certain young magician that he lured to Persia with promises of wealth and acceptance. I was persuaded to do a great many things that earned me my well -deserved appellation there 'The Angel of Doom'. My past, in Persia, is more hideous than my face. Why do you think that I exiled myself to the dungeon below the Opera House; simply to protect myself? No cousin, I did so mostly to punish myself. I prayed for death to take me every single night of my time there. I even slept in a coffin just in case I had been forgotten. I was stirred from my prison by a child's tears in the dark, and somehow was touched by the fact that there was someone out there to comfort who was even more miserable than I."

"I am sorry again Erik. I should have trusted you. I just did not know who I could trust, until Meg insisted that I could trust you." Christian admitted.

"What are we going to do to stop her?" He asked us.

Nadir and I looked at one another "You don't seriously think that we would share our plans with you if we had one?" I asked him.

"How do you expect me to help you if I am left in the dark?" He asked. I could see that he was hurt by my words, and distrust.

"We would like you to be a double agent for us. Pretend to go along with the Comtesse, in fact become more enthusiastic, so that perhaps she might share what her intentions are with you. Please feel free to blacken my reputation more. If she believes that I am acting insanely it may cause her to show her hand to us sooner. I have found in my past interactions with people that my hideous appearance tends to make them believe that I am capable of all sorts of malice. In my younger days it would bother me greatly that people would judge me solely on my face, but in time I learned that it could be a valuable weapon. If I were to be treated like a monster, it was only fitting that I reap the benefits of that perception" I told him.

Christian looked at me sympathetically "I cannot imagine all that you have survived, given people's reaction to your face.

"No cousin, you cannot imagine it and I pray that for your sake that you never will."

I told him. In truth I meant it; no matter what he had done or how he had betrayed me, I had never before known the joys of a family. I still followed the same path that I always had. I still wanted the one thing that fate had never before given me, love and acceptance. In truth I spared Christian because deep inside the darkest reaches of my soul, I still held out hope that someday, somehow I would achieve that aim.