MEMOS
Bonjour Madame!
Bonjour Monsieur. To what do I owe this pleasantly continental greeting?
I hardly need remind you that the Triwizard Tournament is imminent.
Oh, trust me, I've heard enough of that from Pomona.
Well, at least SOMEONE is excited for it.
Excuse me for keeping a level head. Let me start again. OH, ALBUS HOW VERY, VERY HAPPY I AM THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO BRING THIS WONDROUS EVENT DOWN UPON US! How WILL I cope with the excitement?
Yes, well… that as may be, I did not write to you to talk of the Tournament.
Oh…
…
I realise I've unleashed some hidden bitterness, there…
I'm used to it. I have the broken china to prove it… well, I don't… I fixed it… but the point remains!
Just tell me what you want.
Well, I am in a bit of a sticky situation here.
Sticky in what way?
It's not what you're thinking at all!
Does it involve some sort of obscure Muggle invention that I am certain to know nothing about?
It might be what you were thinking.
Go on.
Well, I was talking to a friend who recently went on a Muggle holiday and his daughter told me about a game she discovered while away.
I don't like the sound of this.
It's called 'Fly on the Wall'.
I REALLY don't like the sound of this.
It involves this Muggle thing called Duct tape - it's like Spellotape but much, much stronger.
Oh, sweet Merlin.
Anyway, you use this duct tape to…erm…
Out with it!
To…
Don't make me come up there!
You use it to stick someone to the wall.
What?
You stick them to the wall and then see how long they stay there.
You idiot. Who helped you do this?
Severus.
Can't you use a cutting charm, or something?
That's just my problem; Severus is a clever (and cruel) little blighter -
I've never heard it called that before…
- And he had the evil thought to place my wand just outside my range of grasp.
I'm leaving you there.
Don't make me beg, please!
I want to see this.
I refuse!
I'm waiting.
Never! I am a Gryffindor, for crying out loud.
Sorry, old man, you wasted your chance. Have a nice life, leading the school from the wall.
Just because you want to take over!
Hmmm… I hadn't thought about that. Thanks for the idea, Beardy.
ARRRRRRRGH!
I resent you calling me a blighter.
You resent everything.
Do you not want to be rescued?
Not by you, you torturous little bat!
Hang on, how are you writing these?
I'm dictating to Winky, the house elf.
Why don't you get Winky to help you down?
I can't - Oh… Winky, old girl, what do you say? No, you don't have to write that! No, don't punish yourself! Winky!
He's screwed.
A/N: Gosh, hasn't it been a while? I do apologize... again... Anywho, bold was Severus, normal was Albus, and italic Minerva. Thanks for reading.