A/N: Since the last one was so short, I decided to put this one up too. This was an idea courtesy of LilyxJames4ever, who has courteously reviewed pretty much every chapter of this crazy, rambling series (Along with a few others who are either incredibly strong of mind or just as crazy as I am).

MEMOS

Albus, have you seen Aggie?

I have decided to take your owl hostage until you confess.

Confess to what?

You know what!

I can assure you that I do not!

Why are you so spiteful?

Merlin! What did I do this time?

You knew that I wanted the last Danish at breakfast and you still had to eat it!

I had toast for breakfast.

Of course you did!

I don't eat pastries in the morning.

That's what they all say!

Who is the 'all' that you are referring to?

I have interviewed the majority of the rest of the staff and they all say that they didn't take it!

So that automatically makes it me?

After the lemon drop/sock fiasco (or Sock-Drop Gate, as I call it) I have decided that you are most likely responsible for any food-related crime committed at Hogwarts!

Eating a Danish hardly qualifies as a crime, Albus.

So you did eat it?

NO!

Will you two stop your infernal bickering this moment? I can hear the quills grazing the wood from the other side of the castle.

Severus, will you back me up here?

Of course. Minerva, your witty comment/ silly questions/ tartan addiction/ juvenile pranks/ biscuit-giving has caused serious damage to a person/ object/ country and we would appreciate it if you would stop it now.

Tartan addiction? How dare you? I will have you know that my family tartan has been tradition for –

Seven hundred and twenty-three years, we know. That, however, is not the problem we are dealing with.

What on earth is it then? And do hurry, Headmaster; I have Longbottom's class next lesson and if I look away for even a second, we will have a full-blown explosion on our hands.

Again.

Are you insinuating that I cannot control a class?

I am merely saying that, if you stopped intimidating your students to the point where they could not properly stir a Swelling Solution, things might improve.

This, coming from the woman who could make a sixth-year cower with a glare.

I will have you know that that glare works on staff and-

- Has been in the family for seven hundred and twenty-three years. Whatever.

Severus Tobias Snape!

MINERVA ATE THE LAST DANISH AT BREAKFAST!

Albus – I keep telling you – I did not!

THEN WHO ELSE COULD IT POSSIBLY BE?

My bad.

WHAT?

A/N: Severus is in for a bumpy ride, methinks.