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CHAPTER FIVE
Magnus was looking at his boyfriend as Alec listened to his sister. Isabelle was a mess, her eyes were puffy from crying and her hair fell on her shoulders in knots, Alec on the other hand looked somehow at ease, there was a determination in his eyes that was not there before, when he was... alive. Magnus felt instantly sick at the thought, Alec was alive, completely alive, the fact that his heart did not beat anymore did not mean he was less alive, his hands started shaking and the Warlock put the mug down with too much strenght, so it broke and the coffee spilled on the the table.
-Magnus!- Alec's voice called out full of concern. The boy reached for his partner and took his shaking hands in one of his.
-It's nothing I... I will clean it up...It's ok.- He stuttered avoiding those blue eyes which he loved so much.
Alec sighed out of habit moving some black strands backwards and cupping Magnus' face in his free hand. He was kneeling on the floor next to the sofa where the Warlock was sitting.
-Talk to me, I cannot see you like that, not again.- He whispered shooking his head sadly.
Magnus glanced toward Isabelle who was staring at the porcelain shards, and Alec followed his gaze.
-I think I should go, Simon is downstairs... I guess.- Isabelle said uncertain.
-You left Simon downstairs?- Alec's eyes widened as his sister nodded and did not stand up.
-I will call Simon and tell him to go home. As for you Iz you can stay here for tonight, can't she Magnus?- The Warlock nodded silently.
Isabelle smiled thankfully and moved to the guest room.
-As for us, you definitely need to talk and stop looking so worried.- Alec said before kissing Magnus' lips lightly.
They moved to the bedroom, fingers entwined and just as the door was shut Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and buried his face in the crock of his neck.
They stayed like that, Alec caressing Magnus' hair and back and the Warlock crying.
-It's all my fault, I know it is.- He finally managed to say.
Alec moved back a little and put his hands at both sides of Magnus' face to make him look strainght in his eyes.
-Now you listen to me.- He said calmer than he felt and motioned to himself before putting his hand back on his boyfriend's cheek. -This, all of this, is not your fault. This was my choice, mine and mine alone and I don't regret anything. My siblings will accept it, they will realize this was the only way to be with them, and I want you too to realize that I am here, I am so grateful that we are here, together and all I want is to see that wonderful smile of yours, no more tears.-
-Oh my Alec, I still can see your dead body and feel the pain and...- Alec's fingers caressed his hair.
-Hush hush, I was never dead, I was just asleep waiting for you, and you are here. That's all that counts.-
Magnus nodded and took Alec's closer to him once again, just whispering his name and begging him to stay.
-I won't go anywhere without you, you sparkly magnificent love of mine.- Alec smiled.
Magnus lift his head and looked at Alec's face, he was not crying anymore.
-Are you really happy?-
-I've never been happier.- He pecked Magnus on the lips. -Now let's go back to bed.-
It was barely breaking dawn when Jace realized he had not gotten any sleep.
Clary had fallen asleep somewhere during the night, Brother Zacariah was pacing slowly in the room.
-How can you be so sure about Akec and what he did?-
Brother Zacariah seemed to ignore the question, he did not turn to face Jace, the boy was almost sure the Silent Brother would stay silent when his voice echoed in Jace's head.
"Because I did a similar choice, many years ago."
Jace sighed and got up the bed where he was lying awake, surprised.
-Did you ever regret your choice?-
"There was nothing to regret, to die means to leave the people you love behind, the price of living is looking them go away."
-I guess I should be happy he has Magnus, shouldn't I?-
The Silent Brother did not speak again, but Jace knew better.
He scrumbled off the bed and reached the door in a few steps.
-I need to go.- He said and went out.
He was reaching the door when he saw Maryse standing before him with her arms crossed on her chest.
-Where are you going?- She asked coldly.
-Nowhere.-
She sighed tiredly.
-Where is Brother Zacariah?-
-In the Infirmary.-
-Go fetch him, I will be waiting for everyone in the Library.- She was turning when she noticed the blood on Jace's shirt.
Every inch of severity left her body and her face suddenly looked just tired, she motioned toward the stain.
-What happened to you?- She asked and Jace saw the fear in her eyes.
-No... nothing.- He stuttered. Maryse moved toward him and moved his shirt away looking straight at the parabatai rune, now as red as fresh blood.
-Alec!- She cried putting her hands on her mouth.
-No, it's not like that, he is all right!- Jace tried to calm her down but Maryse kept staring at the rune on his chest.
"Maryse." Brother Zacariah's voice came strong in their head. "Don't mourn your son because he is still among the living."
-My little Alec, how is that possible?-
"Jace call Alexander and Magnus ask them to come here." The Silent Brother instructed and Jace could just nod and call Magnus' phone.
When Isabelle woke up she needed a few moments to realize were she was, suddenly everything that had happened came rushing at her but she refused to cry again.
A light knock on her door made her jump.
-Come on!- She called and felt like smiling when she saw her brother's messy hair. She realized soon enough that he was worried.
-Iz, we have to go to the Institute.- He said, his big blue eyes confident despite the concern.
-What, why?-
-Mom saw Jace's rune and almost freaked out, I need you to be ready in ten.- And he went out.
The first thing Isabelle saw when she reached the living room was Magnus sitting on the couch, both his arms wrapped around Alec's body as the boy sat between the Warlock's legs. Alec was caressing Magnus'cheek and they were smile at each other. Alec seemed so happy, she did not want to interrupt the moment, but they saw her.
-Good morning Isabelle.- Magnus greated her.
-We should go.- Alec whispered without any track of the previous smile.
The other nodded silently and Isabelle realized that Magnus looked tired as if everything that had happened in the last two days had hurt him more than anything in his whole life as long as it was.
Alec and Magnus kept their fingers entwined as they got up the sofa and moved to the door.
The moment they were outside in the street Alec realized that was the first time he went out after what had happened, noises and colors around him seemed so much more than he remembered, everything seemed to hurt his ears or his eyes and he stopped midway two fingers on his forehead.
-Sweetheart, are you ok?- Magnus immediately asked leaned towards him.
-What's wrong with him?- Isabelle came right after them.
-Don't speak about me as I'm not here, Iz.- Alec said slowly looking up at the concerned face of his boyfriend. -I'm all right Magnus, it's just my senses seem to be better than before.- He smiled.
-I will portal us to the Institute from here.- The Warlock said. He leaned down kissing Alec's lips lightly and then started to work at the portal.
Isabelle put an hand on his brother's arm.
-You shouldn't always worry about everyone.- She whispered.
-It's what big brothers do.- He smirked at her.
Magnus called them back, the portal was ready.
Everyone in the library was silent, Jace was staring at the flames in the big fireplace, Clary was next to him, Brother Zacariah seemed interested in something outside the window and Maryse had her head in her hands she was looking blankly at the floor.
She had lost Max, the idea of losing Alec was just unbearable. Brother Zacariah had explained her something about her son becoming something different phisically while he was still the same person he was before, but she couldn't deny she was scared.
"They are here." Brother Zacariah told them.
When Alec had to put his hand on the wooden doors of the Institute, he was sure they would not open, what he was not sure was the way he could react at the clear evidence of him not being a Shadowhunter anymore. He closed his eyes for just a second and thought about Magnus and his family, how they would have felt if he had died, and he remembered his vow, he had made his choice he would never regret it.
With that he bite his wrist feeling the skin give away under his sharp fangs and the blood on his tongue.
"They told me I am a Shadowhunter no more, but I am a Nephilim nonetheless, I have never denied my blood not even when I asked for this time. I will fight with my people until my body will be strong enough, please let me in so I can help them once again."
He prayed in his mind and touched the door, it took a second and the door slowly opened before their eyes.
Isabelle gasped and Magnus brought their joined hands at his lips and kissed Alec's fingers as his boyfriend smiled at him.
-We need to go.- Alec said. Isabelle looked relieved and the three moved inside.
When they entered the library Maryse almost jumped from the armchair her eyes wide on her face as she took in her son's appearance clearly looking for something different, but she could not find anything, he was still her baby boy. Her gaze met his for a second and she showed her relief just for a moment before masking her emotions once again.