Here we go, as promised. I hope that you all like this chapter, as it's one of my favorites, and it continues to set up a lot of what's to come. I feel obliged to mention the amazing 90s-ness of this past episode, even if the boy band mashup was with my two least favorite characters...
Also, cannon Rachel is actually making me sick recently, so I hope my version is far more bearable.
Come say hi on tumblr! practical-amanda
"What the hell? It's supposed to be March!" Kurt muttered to himself as he stepped out of his apartment for the first time that Saturday afternoon and saw that it was snowing. Kurt had always been someone that woke up early, even on weekends. Today was no exception, but the motivation to actually leave his bedroom and do something, was usually harder to come by. He had been awakened by a craving for sushi. There was a pretty good place not too far from his apartment, but when he went out into the kitchen to find a note from Unique stating that she would be out all day, wig shopping with her drag friends, the idea of going out seemed far less appealing.
Kurt wasn't a stranger to eating out alone. His often crazy and unpredictable work hours left him with no choice a lot of the time, and a he was used to grabbing a quick bite on his own. Weekends were different though. Without the distractions of his hectic job to dull his underlying loneliness, he was left to face it head on. Unique was his best and closest friend, and he loved her dearly, but sometimes it felt like she was his only friend.
Sure, he knew a lot of people, and his address book was chock full of names and numbers, but they were almost exclusively people that he used to get ahead or to get off. His list of people that he could call just to hang out on a Saturday afternoon was woefully thin.
Kurt sighed again, tugging the lapel of his jacket to fit more tightly around his neck, and abandoning his goal of the sushi place. The coffee shop was much closer and far more welcoming in this weather. No sooner than he sank into the arm chair in the corner, however, he was being assaulted by none other than Rachel Berry.
"Oh my goodness, I know you!" She squealed, plopping herself down across from him uninvited. "I recognize you from the restaurant. You're Blaine's friend!"
Kurt took a sip from his mocha, "um...yes that was me...Kurt," he said, trying to decide whether he felt more irritated or uncomfortable.
Rachel looked over both of her shoulders exaggeratedly, as if she was checking to see if anyone was listening in, and Kurt rolled his eyes and blinked around at the rest of the patrons who weren't paying one bit of attention to him and the B-List 'celebrity'. Seemingly satisfied that she wouldn't be overheard, Rachel started to talk again, "I just wanted you to know," she started in a stage whisper, "that I'm totally cool with it, and I think it's great that you two have found each other."
Kurt nearly choked on the sip of Mocha he was in the middle of taking when the words that Rachel had said hit him fully, "I'm sorry...what?" he asked, hoping that he had misheard.
"No need to be coy!" she said, leaning back in the chair with a self satisfied smirk. "I was raised by two dads, and I'm poised to follow in the footsteps of some of the greatest idols of Gay culture. I understand."
Kurt was almost distracted enough by Rachel's proclamation of having two Dads to squelch the overwhelming panic he was starting to feel on Blaine's behalf. Even these days, hearing about openly alternative families like that was rare.
I hoped that at this point it would be much more common, but sometimes history takes time, I suppose.
"Rachel...I think that you might be confused...," Kurt said slowly, trying to choose his words carefully, "Blaine and I are not...Blaine's not..."
"Kurt, I know," she finally said, effectively cutting him off. "And I don't mind being a beard, really. I think it will make for an extremely interesting chapter when I eventually write my best selling tell-all," she said, eyes still bright with excitement.
"Rachel, I know you probably think your gay-dar is iron clad, but you..."
"No, I mean like, he told me," she said finally. "We have an understanding. Although, it's good to know that he has such a loyal companion," she added with an exaggerated wink.
Kurt let out another long suffering sigh, "we aren't together, Rachel," Kurt said, setting his cup on the table. "And I appreciate your concern for the situation, but your arrangement with Blaine is really none of my business," he said, picking up the newspaper that he came with to indicate that he wanted to conversation to be over.
The fact that I thought that move would be enough to thwart her was emblematic of how thoroughly I did not know Rachel yet.
The silence that washed over us while Rachel was collecting her thoughts lulled Kurt into a false sense of security, and he nearly spilled his drink in surprise when she started talking again, "so you mean to tell me that there is absolutely nothing between the two of you?"
Kurt paused. He could try to blame leftover hesitance from the way that Rachel had just startled him, but the truth was that Rachel had just asked the $64,000 question, the one that had been bouncing around his head since last weekend, "I..."
"I see," Rachel said, sounding more than a little smug and triumphant.
"The last thing he needs is someone going after him right when he's just figuring himself out, and plus...I don't know how I feel about being someones dirty little secret," Kurt said quietly, internally panicking that he was sharing so much with someone he barely knew. But what was the alternative? As much as Kurt hated to admit it, Rachel Berry was the closest thing he had to a sounding board in this situation. There was no other option that wouldn't include outing Blaine.
"Okay, first of all, Blaine is not 'just figuring himself out'. He's known he was gay for close to ten years," she said, leveling Kurt with an unimpressed glare, "and the 'I don't want to date someone in the closet' excuse sounds like just that: an excuse. Here's a thought, Blaine's going to stay in the cozy little closet until he has a reason to come out of it."
Kurt finally returned her gaze. He hated to admit it, but she had a point, "I don't know what you want me to say."
Rachel's eyes softened once again until they were almost comically doe like, "Kurt, I...I saw the way the two of you looked at each other in that restaurant, and I saw how quickly Blaine found an excuse o get the two of you alone," she started, "I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that if you don't do anything I think you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
This is probably the part of the story that I find hardest to put into words. I'm sure all of you out there reading have had this experience, when someone says something out loud and it suddenly becomes about a million times more real. In one fell swoop, Rachel had destroyed all of the hard work I had done pushing away my growing feelings for Blaine. I had explained it away a hundred times in a hundred different ways, telling myself that it was only a crush, or that Blaine only needed my friendship. But,as much as It pains me to write, even to this day (if you're reading this Rachel, I love you, but I hate when you're right), Rachel was completely correct. All of these reasons were just excuses, and each one was more flimsy than the last.
This didn't make the situation any better. As anyone will tell you, being acutely aware of your romantic interest in someone does not mean that you will be suddenly able to share your epiphany, or that the person will like you back. I was reasonably certain of the latter. Blaine had admitted as much, but being interested in someone, and being willing to risk everything for them are two entirely different things. Blaine's lie was elaborate and carefully sculpted, and in a lot of ways, his entire career was built around it.
"Twelve down is beanies," Kurt heard in his right ear the next morning, once again nearly causing him to spill his coffee. His brain barely had enough time to recognize the voice when Blaine, in all his curly haired, be-stubbled glory was suddenly sitting across from him in the diner.
"Hello, Blaine. I'm great. Thanks for asking. How are you?" Kurt said dryly, his heart still thumping from being startled, and maybe a little bit from the way that Blaine's hair hung loosely on his forehead, just begging to be played with.
Blaine gave him a wry smile and was about to reply, but the waitress came over, having noticed the new person, to take his order. Blaine leaned his chin on his elbow, and batted his eyelashes in a way that was just short of cartoonish, but even Kurt couldn't truthfully say that he was immune to his charm, "Hi, darlin'," he started out, and Kurt saw the waitress turn an impressive shade of red. "I would love a short stack of pancakes, and a side of bacon...oh and a coffee. Thanks, babe," he added with a wink.
Kurt rolled his eyes, "I realize that you've spent years perfecting your...charms, such as they are," Kurt said, bemusement in his voice betraying him, "but must you do that to every woman you meet."
Before Blaine could give an answer, the waitress was back, sliding a plate of chocolate chip coffee cake onto the table, "this one's on me," she said, scurrying away as quickly as she came.
"What was that about my charms?" Blaine said, taking an overly large bite of cake and tossing the piece of paper with the waitresses phone number, that was tucked between his coffee cup and saucer, into his bag with an amused chuckle. "Damn, this is good. I'm going to miss to free food when I eventually come out of the closet," Blaine said, dropping the fork down on the plate in shock as soon as the words left his mouth.
Kurt gaped at him for a moment, unable to come up with any words. Taking into account what Kurt knew about Blaine and how quickly he tended to become closed off, he decided that brushing past the comment would be the best option. "You're insufferable," Kurt said, but his tone held no acid. "Don't you have a 'girlfriend'?" Kurt said, stabbing his fork into the cake, and taking a bite of his own.
It was Blaine's turn to roll his eyes, "there is no way that girl recognized me, or she would never have given me her number," Blaine explained, "and anyway, you may have been able to see through the facial hair disguise, but you see me every day. No one else will."
"And what exactly is it you're doing here, besides flirting shamelessly for free cake?" Kurt asked, taking a swig from his own cup.
"Honestly?" he asked, putting his fork down more gently this time, and folding his hands in front of him, "you mentioned you would be here, and I sort of wanted to hang out. I like hanging out with you, and we're...friends, right?," he said, shrugging. "I...that's not weird is it? Oh my god it's weird, isn't' it?"
"No, no, Blaine. It's...it's sweet," Kurt said, "I...I'm glad you came. I like hanging out with you, too," he admitted.
"Okay, good," he said, accepting the food that the waitress had suddenly brought to the table, eggs for Kurt, and pancakes for Blaine. The waitress was trying to catch his eye again, but both men were too busy staring at each other. Friends...Kurt could live with that...for now.
Blaine still insists that this was our first date. I maintain that we didn't do anything that counted as a date until a month later, but still he insists. And if he wants to buy me flowers on an extra day a year, who am I to complain?