A/N: Well, I just got a tumblr and am vair, vair overexcited about it. Verging on obsessed with checking my dashboard every minute. However, I did manage to squeeze in some time between refreshing to write this.
MEMOS
Oh, I am going to kill that woman.
I assume you are referring to Delores.
I am going to hex her into next Tuesday.
Are you even looking at my replies?
I will rip her hair out, strand by bloody strand, and then scoop out her eyeballs with a rusty spoon.
That's a bit sadistic, is it not?
Merlin help me, I will set the Weasley twins on her.
HOLD UP! Nothing quite so drastic, thank you very much.
Albus, times like this call for drastic action!
What did she do this time?
She has summoned me to her office.
Uh oh.
I know. She wrote this awful little note on gaudy pink parchment (Merlin knows where she got that from) that says that she expects me in her office to talk about my "position and teaching style" at a quarter past six.
Pink parchment, you say?
I mean, 'quarter past six'? She is trying to intimidate me with the use of quarter hours! Well, if she thinks she can get the better of me, she has quite a nasty shock in store. At least I know someone will be waking up with a face full of boils in the morning.
Now that you are done with your empty threats, may I leave?
Empty threats?
Yes. You always make empty threats. You whine and moan for an hour and plot extravagant revenge plots that are completely impractical, then you take all that anger and force it into a bottle (which is building up pressure daily and will explode if you are not careful) and MOVE ON.
Are you quite finished?
I think so. Why?
Because the bottle just exploded.
Thank you for using my metaphor against me.
No problem.
We're sorry, but Professor Dumbledore is too busy running to acknowledge your acknowledgment of his thanks.
A/N: Yes, I did use that line from The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (a FABULOUS film that I recommend to any of you who have not yet had the pleasure of seeing it).