Trigger warnings are listed in full at the end of this chapter if you don't mind spoilers. Please scroll down to check if you want a warning ahead of time. If, after reviewing the warnings, you would prefer to get a brief summary of the chapter instead of reading it, I'm happy to provide it if you PM me. I will say that everything is spoken about in a fairly tangential way, and my hope is that it won't be too triggering for anyone.
So here's the thing, I know that there's one big reason why most of you bought this book. Our love story is sweet and surprising, and in a lot of ways one might call it revolutionary, but I can't pretend to be ignorant to the fact that there was one huge moment in our lives that has garnered the most public interest.
And, as you may have noticed, I've never really talked about it before. I let Blaine deal with it because he was the one in the public eye. He had to deal with it. He didn't have a choice. It's something that I feel bad about to this day—not sharing the burden with him, but he continues to assure me that it was just the nature of our situation. I'm ready now, and I think it's high time that I 'come out' (so to speak) with my side of the story.
"Not that you aren't a welcome addition to the décor, hot stuff, but may I ask who you are and what you're doing here?" It was to Unique's credit that her larger than life personality was enough to override any lack of authority her half in/half out of drag state might have warranted. Kurt was pleased to note from the kitchen, that Blaine's 'disguise' had at least fooled her.
Blaine laughed, "oh, um...I'm a friend of Kurt's," he said with a smile. "I'm Blaine," he said, shaking hands with a still skeptical Unique, who seemed to be slowly putting the pieces together.
Careless certainly wasn't the right word for it, but they had relaxed their secretive-ness slightly since Blaine decided that he would come out soon. It didn't take much to get Rachel on board with the time frame and she agreed to dutifully play the role of beard until he was ready to make the announcement. If the people they were closest to started guessing before the world did, then it didn't really matter.
Blaine's facial hair and loose curls had fooled Unique at a first glance, but Kurt could tell that it wouldn't for much longer. He decided to shorten the process, "yes, Blaine Anderson," Kurt confirmed, setting a tray of drinks on the table and smirking up at his room mate.
Unique raised one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows, "um...Kurt, honey...could you maybe come into my room with me. I need someone to zip me up."
Kurt sighed. He had just sat down, but really he shouldn't had expected his room mate to just accept the fact that there was a celebrity casually sitting on their couch.
0000000000
"You know when you told me you were bringing a guy to the show, I really wasn't expecting it to be your famous, 'straight' co-worker," she said, slipping a wig on her head before freeing up her hands for some well placed finger quotes. "A little warning would have been nice," she added. Kurt hoped that it wasn't hurt he could hear in her voice.
"It's complicated," Kurt mumbled, fingering a piece of shimmery fabric that was hanging over the vanity.
"A closeted actor boinking his flamboyant stylist?" Unique said, adding another coat of mascara, "doesn't sound complicated to me," she said without missing a beat.
"What?! We haven't...we're not...we haven't had sex..yet," Kurt added quietly.
Unique dropped the mascara back into the bag and tuned around to face Kurt fully, "So you two are...?"
"Dating," Kurt finished for her, "privately of course."
Unique sighed, "I get why you didn't tell the world. I just...I just don't get why you didn't tell me?"
"It wasn't my secret to tell, 'Nique," he said simply. "Coming out is a really personal thing. I know you get that."
"I do," she admitted, leaning back onto the vanity. "I never thought you would date a closet case. You've always been so proud of who you are—for better or for worse," she mused.
"Yeah well, I've never really had a choice," Kurt said, "and for the record, I never thought I would either, but Blaine...Blaine's just Blaine," he said with a shrug, "and anyway, in a couple of months, he won't be so closeted anymore," he added.
"Do tell," Unique said, intrigued.
"I know it goes without saying, but you can't tell anyone, not even the girls at the club," Kurt warned, trusting Unique, but knowing her tendency to gossip. She mimed zipping her mouth shut and throwing away the key. "He's planning to come out after this season of Dalton wraps—publicly."
"Damn," she said, packing up the last of her makeup and gesturing for Kurt to zip up her dress. "Kids got balls."
Kurt nodded, "he does. And while I know the beard isn't really the most iron clad of disguises, this has been a really stressful decision for him and he we both just want to have a night to of fun," Kurt explained. "We're just going to come, have a couple of drinks, see your show, dance a little, and then call it a night."
Unique gave him a little salute, "understood," she said.
0000000000
Some people look back on huge turning points in their lives with astonishing clarity. Some people can hardly remember anything beyond a blur of emotions. If I had to choose between the two, the former is probably the best way to describe how I remember that night, but it wasn't as simple as that. I have a sharp recollection of feeling like my emotions were a blur. My memory has a hard time differentiating among them, but it's only because I had a tough time doing so in the moment.
That night was hell—to put it mildly. It was simultaneously the most scared I've ever felt for myself, for Blaine, and for my community. I had been bullied and teased before that night and I've been mocked since that night, and yet, I've never felt the hate for what I am—for who I'm am as severely as I did in those 12 hours.
"You shouldn't be allowed to wear pants this tight," Blaine shouted over the loud, thumping club music. They were dancing closely, Blaine's hands in Kurt's back pockets.
Kurt's head fell back in laughter, "no?" he asked teasingly. "I should wear those baggy grunge pants—keep my ass hidden away?" he said, wiggling his butt a little under Blaine's hands.
"No, never! I take it back," Blaine cried playfully, giving Kurt's ass a little squeeze. Blaine sighed contentedly and laid his head on Kurt's shoulder as the music slowed down. "This is nice," he whispered.
Kurt hummed in agreement, "it's nice to be able to just dance with you in public."
Kurt could feel Blaine's smile against his neck, "soon, Kurt."
Kurt enjoyed the feeling of dancing so close to Blaine for a few more moments before checking his watch, "It's almost time for Unique to perform. I should feed the meter before she goes on," he said, gently extracting himself from Blaine's embrace.
"I'll come with you," Blaine said, reluctant to let go.
"Don't be silly, honey," Kurt said. "You just hang tight and enjoy yourself. I'll be back before you know it," he said with a wink. He dropped a quick kiss to Blaine's nose and slipped away, breaking out into a jog once he got past the club crowd.
Ordinarily they would take a taxi, or even the subway, but they had decided that they wanted the privacy that a car would afford them. Lucky for them, Wes, one of the few people they knew in the city who still owned one, was willing to let them borrow his.
Kurt shoved a few coins into the meter and whistled happily on his way back to the club. What happened next, no one could have predicted.
I can still remember the way the ringing lingered in my ears after I heard the explosion. At first I thought that someone was letting off some ill conceived fireworks display, but the volume and the fact that it only happened once was my first clue that this was not a friendly sound.
My shock wore off with a jolt due to the sounds of police and ambulance sirens in the distance, gradually getting louder as they approached the club. I remember sprinting towards the area only to be stopped by a security guard who was ushering people out of the club as quickly as possible. I tried to ask what was going on, but it was like my voice was suddenly gone. Everything was moving too fast and too slowly at the same time, and all I could think was 'please be okay, please be okay, please be okay'.
"Blaine!" Kurt cried, as he saw the man being led out by a paramedic. He was covered in a silver shock blanket. He looked a little worse for wear, but he was walking, and he seemed like he had made it out relatively unscathed. He sprinted over and took over for the EMT who seemed eager to move on to others in more dire need of assistance. Kurt pulled Blaine into his arms tightly, forgetting to be gentle with the possibly hurt man, but only squeezed harder when he felt Blaine hug him back. "I was so scared," he murmured into Blaine's hair, tears running down his face. He noted with relief that Unique was already out and standing on a corner with the rest of the performers before turning his full attention back to Blaine.
"I'm okay I promise," Blaine said, relaxing into Kurt's arms. "Just shaken up," he added, unwinding his arms to pull the blanket around him more tightly, allowing Kurt to continue holding him. "Just...can you just take me home?"
0000000000
"Officials were saddened to report this morning that two people perished in the bombing of a popular gay club in the west village. Many others were injured," Kurt had tried to ignore the news reports that had been coming since the previous night, but now that Blaine was finally asleep after an extremely emotional night, he figured he should check on things. "Police were initially exploring a possible electrical failure, but after investigation, the police have reason to believe it was a hate crime. A suspect was taken into custody early this morning."
Kurt was relieved to hear that someone was taken in to possibly be punished for their actions, but it was only a small respite from the bad news, "among those injured was popular actor and singer, Blaine Anderson," the reporter continued. "The actor's reps have declined to comment at this time."
Kurt turned off the TV after getting all of the information he felt he needed for now. He was totally unsure of what to do next. He didn't know how he was going to work through his own emotions let alone the barrage of media coverage Blaine was going to have to deal with. It all seemed so impossibly hard, so he did the only thing he could in the moment. He went back into his bedroom, slipped under the blankets, and snuggled into Blaine's sleeping form. All of this would have to be tomorrow's problem.
Trigger warning for hate crime, violence, and mentions of the death of someone who is not a character in cannon or in this story.
If you're looking for something completed and fairly fluffy to sooth yourself, please take a look at my new story Roxxy's that I completed for the reverse bang. It's one of my favorite things I've ever written!