Author's Note: Myka's cancer won't be appearing in this story! I probably should have mentioned it before, but as it stands, what with HG's departure and reappearance in Instinct, the two of them have enough to deal with without Myka falling ill. Hope you enjoy this next chapter! I have six type up thus far, but I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow. Please review!
Three weeks had passed since Helena's reintegration to the Warehouse, and she hadn't quite found her footing. She'd been on several missions with Myka, but everyone else – while not outright saying so – refused to work with her, and for the life of her, she just couldn't figure out why.
She supposed it didn't matter. She was doing the work that she loved. And although Myka still seemed very off, she had accepted her presence back at the Warehouse, so Helena found that something to be very grateful for.
Pete, too, had sort of accepted her back into the folds. She wondered how he was so accepting, actually, as he'd only been on a couple of missions with Myka since Helena's return. Instead, he'd been taking turns partnering with Claudia and Steve. But he still joked with her, and smiled at her, which was much more than she could say for the others.
Claudia had taken to all but ignoring her, and while Steve included her in his conversations, he didn't say anything about Claudia's refusal to do so, and he was rarely alone with her. But Steve was hardly of consequence to her. Helena hadn't known him before. She could tell that it was not in his nature to be unkind, but Claudia's influence clearly had his kindness leveled out at polite. Artie was, comfortingly, the same as ever. Although his grief following Leena's death was obvious, his behavior toward her hadn't changed since his plea to The Regents.
But she was unsatisfied. Everyone had changed – understandably so – but it seemed that whatever affectionate feelings they'd had for her had changed with them.
Helena sighed as a knock at her door roused her from her thoughts about her co-workers. She tossed a shirt on, and moved to open it. She was surprised, when she opened the door, to find Claudia at the other side.
"So, here's the thing," Claudia began, shoving herself into the room and plopping down on Helena's bed before she'd even had the chance to greet the girl 'good morning.'
"I'm all ears," Helena raised a brow, gently shutting her bedroom door and leaning against it to face Claudia.
"I haven't been very… well, let's call it receptive. I haven't been very receptive of your reinstatement here."
"No, you haven't," Helena agreed, when Claudia looked up, clearly expecting a response.
"Right. So, we're going to talk about why."
"I'm listening," Helena replied, moving toward the armchair that faced the bed near the window.
"Listening! Okay! Let's start with that. You listen a lot. And you listen, like, really well. But you can't see for shit, Wells," Claudia informed.
Helena was more baffled than she'd been before.
Claudia sighed. "Dude, I'm not good at this. Pete and Jinks are all up in my business about me talking things over with you, and I suck at it, which is why I avoid it."
"Alright," Helena said slowly. "Well, maybe if you could start by clarifying, just a bit?"
Claudia sighed and threw herself back against the bed. Helena tried not to be amused, and tried harder not to be irritated, as she'd just made the bed, but she waited patiently for Claudia to continue.
"Okay, look. I don't like people upsetting my friends," Claudia said finally, staring at the ceiling. When Helena didn't reply, though, Claudia tilted her head to the side so that she could see the older woman, and then she sat up suddenly, and her 'calm' voice had faded. "So, you know, stop upsetting my friend!"
"Claudia, I don't – "
"Jesus Christ, Myka! Stop upsetting Myka!" Claudia's hands were in the air now, emphasizing a point that Helena just wasn't grasping.
"Myka?" Helena furrowed her brows. "Claudia, I'm very sorry, but I'm not following."
"You keep leaving," Claudia said quietly. "And Myka's a big girl – she can take it. But she trusted you, when no one else did. And she still trusted you, even after you betrayed her. Which you did in the worst way possible, by the way!" Claudia accused, pointing at her. "And she stood up for you. She's always standing up for you. She's your friend."
"Yes, she is," Helena agreed. "Myka is… well, she's certainly the closest friend I've ever had. And I'm grateful for her."
"Yeah. Yes, I know!" Claudia growled, frustrated. "But you don't see what you do to her!"
"What I do to her?"
"With all the flirting and the sharing and the complimenting and the touching," Claudia listed, her voice mocking Helena's actions. "And, dude, my best friend is gay, so I'm cool with the lady love or whatever, but just freakin' pay attention to her!"
"Claudia, all I do is pay attention to her!" Helena defended sincerely. "She's my partner."
"You're being serious right now," Claudia said, and although Helena expected to hear accusation in the tone, all she could hear was disbelief, and a little bit of wonder.
"Of course I'm being serious," Helena frowned. "I've just said: Myka is my closest friend."
"Then you're clearly not paying attention to the right things, because, dude, she's so in love with you that it makes my head spin."
Helena couldn't help it. She laughed. She'd tried to suss out Myka's feelings for ages, but even while Myka had responded in kind to her flirtations, she'd never initiated it, and she never tried to take it further. She'd determined that Myka was being friendly, and… well, Helena found her stunning, so a little thing like friendship wasn't going to keep her from flirting, especially when flirting with Myka Bering turned her insides so aflutter.
"This isn't funny!" Claudia shouted.
"Of course it is," Helena replied, still chuckling. "Myka's been the friendliest of you since I've come back, and she is my friend, but she's still only doing what's necessary in order for us to work together. She's distanced herself, and she's so very sad, and it plagues her every time she's near me. I can see it!"
"Um… Duh!" Claudia leaned forward swiftly, causing the bed to bounce beneath her. "She's sad and distant all the time, now. I just told you. She trusts you, and you keep leaving her. To destroy the world and succumb to your madness, or get yourself locked up in a stupid little sphere, or to become a teacher as Emily freaking Lake. And this last time, you left her by choice, and found yourself a whole little family in Cheeseville, Wisconsin, and you didn't even contact her until you needed her to bag an artifact that you didn't even want to help her find once she got there. And when she did get there, all masked hurt and Myka-like, you basically said that you left because nothing that we did here was normal, and that was what you wanted."
Helena shook her head. "Claudia, I can see that you're trying to protect her, but what you're saying," Helena stood up and laughed incredulously again as she began to pace. "It just doesn't make sense. Myka's never indicated that she has feelings for me beyond the platonic. And before she and Pete left Wisconsin, she told me to fight for Nate. She told me to fight for him," Helena reiterated, ceasing her pacing and looking straight at redhead as she folded her arms across her chest. "People don't tell the one they love to go fight for someone else, Claudia."
Claudia looked back at her and said quietly, "You should know by now that Myka isn't 'people.' God, for HG Wells, you're really freakin' dense. Let's walk through this at grandma's speed, okay? You told Myka that you wanted normal, and that the Warehouse wasn't normal, right?"
Helena nodded. "Correct."
"And then you guys fought about that little girl and your kid, and you yelled at her, so she apologized, right?"
Helena nodded again. "Also correct."
"You know what Myka hates, more than anything in the world, HG?" Claudia didn't wait for a response. "Hurting you. Even as she talked you down from obliterating the world, she had faith in you, and the goodness in you," Claudia shivered overdramatically as she heard the load of mush that had just left her lips, but she continued anyway. "And when you were free to do whatever you wanted, largely thanks to Myka, you found a normal family, with a cute kid who she put herself in danger to save, because she felt so terribly about involving you and dragging the little girl that you love into danger, even though you were the one the call her. And she hates to hurt you, HG. She told you to fight for what you said you wanted, even when it hurt her, and even when she thought that it was wrong for you. Telling the one you love to fight for someone else may not be what 'people' do, but apparently it's what Myka does."
Helena began pacing again. She had flirted with Myka. And, in the beginning, she'd been sure that there had been all sorts of sexual tension between them. But when nothing happened, she'd written it off. Of course she had feelings for Myka; she'd always been a bit bold with her language, even in the 1800s, but she'd never flirted with anyone as she did with Myka. But Helena never made a move, and Myka didn't either. Myka was her friend first, after all.
"HG?" Claudia called.
But had she really missed something that huge? Had she missed that Myka had fallen in love with her? Had there been an extra touch, or glimpse, or an action that she'd overlooked?
"HG?" Claudia called again, softer this time. She had been furious, but it was hard to stay angry with the woman when it was so clear that she'd had no idea about Myka's feelings. She still shouldn't have left like that – Myka was her friend, and deserved at least a goodbye, or a letter in the mail, or something, but HG obviously was stunned by what Claudia was revealing to her.
"Claudia, I – " Helena looked up with glassy eyes, and shifted one hand to cover her mouth. "God, I had no idea."
"Well then fix it," Claudia suggested blatantly.
Helena collapsed into the armchair again, curling into herself. "How could I possibly fix this?"
She had no idea. Myka's sadness… Had she truly caused that? Helena had thought that maybe Myka missed being partners with Pete, and that Leena was dead, and everything was changing and seemed so dark. But was she at fault for Myka's pain?
Then she remembered Myka's guilt. When she'd come back, Myka had looked guilty when she'd mentioned Nate, guiltier when she'd mentioned Adelaide. She'd felt guilty when Helena had told her she'd been right about finding a replacement family. And Myka had fought tears when she'd told Helena that she'd been worried about losing her friend in Wisconsin. She'd been hopeful that Helena was going to stay when she came back, and she'd been insistent upon how she'd explicitly instructed Helena to fight for the family she'd moved in with.
"HG!" Claudia yelled.
"What have I done?" Helena brokenly whispered, looking up at the smaller girl.
Claudia didn't say anything for a long time, and simply watched as Helena drifted in and out of her thoughts and memories. But after a while, she had to ask, "Do you love her?"
"Of course I love her. That's not the point, now, is it?" Helena snapped, standing again and scraping her hands through long, dark hair.
"Uh… It kind of is," Claudia stated bluntly.
"Claudia," Helena paused, shaking her head, "I really appreciate this. I do, so don't think that I'm not grateful. But whether or not I love her has nothing to do with how tremendously I've hurt her. Even as her friend, what I did – how I left… it was unforgiveable. And that she still…"
"Loves you," Claudia filled in.
"Trusts me," Helena corrected adamantly. "That she still trusts me is a remarkable and true testament to how beautiful of a person Myka really is. Especially if she feels for me the way that you say she does."
"It's not me saying it," Claudia said quietly, looking down and picking at her nails guiltily. "Pete said it. Because Myka said it to him."
Helena looked up at her disbelievingly. "Myka said it?"
"Not that it matters," Claudia scoffed. "Anyone could see it. Before Wisconsin, I mean. She's gooey with you. And happy. Wisconsin just…"
"It ruined her," Helena closed her eyes and shook her head, fencing off her tears. "I've ruined her."
"Well, like I said: fix it."
"I wouldn't even know where to begin to fix this," the Brit said miserably.
"Well," Claudia grinned at her, for the first time since Helena had been back, and Helena found that she'd missed it, "luckily for you, my time-travelling companion, fixing things happens to be my specialty."