A/N: Thank you for all your replies concerning rubber ducks; I am now well-versed in the topic (which you all seem to be far too knowledgeable about) and actually went out and bought myself one. His name is Quackers. No judging, please. So, memo 118 is dedicated to Erin Magnus-Druitt for suggesting the introduction of two new characters to this chapter. Enjoy!
Minerva, I have a plan.
Can't it wait until the next Order meeting?
This matter does not concern the Order.
Oh, really? Well now I'm interested… which means this can only go horribly downhill from here.
Your faith is outstanding.
Your sarcasm is terrible.
Rude.
Yes, you were.
Do you want to hear my plan or not?
It hardly matters. You shall tell me anyway.
Don't listen to her, Uncle Albus!
She always gets grumpy when she doesn't have tea with breakfast.
I do not!
Minerva, your granddaughters are brilliant.
We thank you, kind sir.
Perhaps you would like to hear my marvellous plan?
We would be honoured.
Annie, you stop that this second. Go and occupy yourself with something else.
Granny, why would I do that?
He'll just suck you into his stupidity.
Uncle Albus is not stupid.
I love your grandchildren.
Thalia's right! He's not stupid, he's just… what's the word?
A genius? Amazing? Brilliant?
Misunderstood.
That's good enough for me!
Merlin help me; I am being overthrown by my own flesh and blood.
This is what you get when your relatives are Ravenclaws.
I was nearly a Ravenclaw.
The operative word there being 'nearly'.
Gryffindors can be clever too.
But your Uncle Albus is not really testimony to this fact.
Excuse me? Who is the one that concocts the brilliant plans?
Erm…
I couldn't say…
Uncle Filius?
No, you short-sighted little people! It's me! I make the plans.
…
Speaking of which, I had a plan to tell you about, Minerva.
Do tell, Uncle Albus.
Well, since you ask so nicely (unlike your grandmother). I plan to put together a rubber duck army.
Is this like the rodent one you had before?
Not at all.
Sounds fun.
I don't think that will work.
Yep, this one is definitely related to you, Minerva.
I know.
Ahem. What about me?
Obviously, you are my long-lost grandchild or something.
Say, you two didn't…
Merlin, no!
Not when we were sober.
Albus! Don't lie to the children!
Fine. I was sober.
Why do I bother?
…
And why does everybody think that?
You give off that vibe.
If your grandfather hears you saying that…
He will congratulate us on our amazing comedy double act routine.
Double act? I'm the one with the jokes!
Half of which make no sense until yours truly adapts them!
I will have you know that my jokes are the best.
But they all involve some sort of falling over gag.
That is not true!
…
I have some "walked into a bar" ones, too…
Minerva! What say you we cut loose and slip down to the Three Broomsticks?
I'm there.
Your jokes have absolutely no structure.
Don't be such a comedy-killer, Annie!
Don't be such an idiot, Thalia!
I think this dispute may be going for a while.
A/N: I also apologise for the lack of speedy update but I returned from holiday and to school the next day, so it's all a bit jumbled right now.