MEMOS
Minerva, Minerva, Minerva!
You remembered my name!
Yes I did!
Aww, how sweet of you.
Minerva, don't be cute. You're too old for that… and it makes me suspicious.
Too old? Well I never! You had better have something wonderful to tell me or you may wake up missing a certain part of your anatomy.
Ooh, which part?
Not the good one.
Oh no.
The point?
What about it?
Where is it? Is there one? OR are you just trying to annoy me?
No, there is a point.
…
…
I'm waiting.
Oh, I beg your pardon; I didn't know you wanted to know exactly what it was.
Do I have to explicitly ask for everything now?
Will you explicitly ask to come to my bed?
Never.
Then no.
Thank you. Now, tell me what you did.
Just because I said you didn't have to ask everything doesn't mean that you can abandon all sense of manners.
Will you just tell me what you did to make you even more annoying and depraved than usual?
Umbridge –
What have I told you?
Sorry. I mean: Toad Face From Hell –
That's better.
Well, Toad Face From Hell put Harry in detention again.
What? Why? And why was I not notified?
I don't know. Probably for no reason. And she doesn't really care whether or not you know.
Grrrr.
…
So what have you done about it?
I sent her a box of shortbread.
Because nothing says 'I hate you' like a box of delicious Scottish happiness.
Whatever would your ginger newts say?
They would understand; everyone loves shortbread.
You haven't heard what I did to it yet.
This sounds interesting.
You bet your wand, it is!
Go on then!
It's poisoned with one of those new tricks the Weasley Twins have concocted.
This cannot be good.
Not for Dolores, it won't be.
Which one was it?
I believe they call it a 'Skiving Snackbox'.
Oh, those awful things that make the students vomit?
The very same.
You, my friend, are finally catching my evil genius syndrome.
It's just like you to take the credit for my brilliant plan.
It's just like you to take the credit for my hours of slaving over YOUR paperwork.
Touché.
Where did you get the snackbox from, anyway?
I have my sources.
Argus' office?
Yep.
That man really needs to stop leaving important things lying about.
Like his dignity.
I like this new, cruel side to you.
You'll like it even more tonight.
Too far.
Joking.
…
I was joking about the bed thing earlier, by the way.
Of course you were, dear. Of course you were.