A/N Lady Mary makes another appearance. I don't know that Charles would reveal his feelings to anyone (intentionally), but he's always been so supportive of her that I thought it might be time she returned the favor. I hope I haven't pushed the limits of credibility here. As I've said before, I don't exactly like Mary, but I do think Charles can bring out the good in her. Also, I couldn't resist working in a bit of a scene from Series 2, Episode 2, where Charles is in bed after his nervous attack, Mary visits him, and he gives her some advice about Matthew. I hope it worked.

Thank you to all my faithful reviewers. I do so enjoy every word! I only hope that some of you are enjoying reading this half as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Let me know what you think! Please?

Chapter 13

Charles was in the depths of despair. He had never felt so miserable in his entire life. He had been such a fool. Everything had been going so well up until just a few hours ago. He had spent a delightful evening with Mrs. Hughes. Why did he have to go and ruin everything by kissing her? She must have thought him a randy old sod, practically forcing himself on her like that. He had been a fool to think that she loved him, too. She had simply been humoring him when she allowed his overtures, placating a ridiculous old man. Oh, he was sure she held him in high regard - they had been such good friends for years. She just wasn't in love with him.

And now, things would never be the same again. He would apologize, and she would forgive him, of course, being the kind soul that she was, but any subsequent relations would be strained and awkward. She wouldn't seek out his company or ask his advice. She wouldn't want to walk with him or spend her evenings talking with him. The shared laughter, secret smiles, comforting touches, knowing glances, private moments - all of them, gone.

After having sat for hours in his pantry with his head in his hands, he decided he should check through the house and go up to his room. He wouldn't sleep; of that, he was sure. But he needed to move about, and after he'd stared for so long at the floor in his pantry, at least his bedroom floor would be something different to look at.

He began by locking up and turning off the lights downstairs. Then he proceeded to the check the main floor. Lastly, he started through the hallway past the family's bedrooms on his way to the servants' quarters in the attic.

As he neared the nursery, he heard a baby whimpering and a woman's voice making low shushing noises to comfort the child. He peeked his head in, and in the dim light he could just make out the figure of Lady Mary in her nightclothes, rocking and attempting to console a very discontented Master George.

Charles wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone, but he couldn't just walk on by. Besides, he might be glad of a distraction right now.

"M'Lady?" he said quietly, so as not to startle her or further upset the infant in her arms.

"Oh. Carson," she answered. "Why are you awake at this hour?"

"I might ask you the same question, M'Lady," he told her.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked, shifting the fussing baby from her lap to her shoulder. "My dear little man is rather unhappy at the moment."

"Yes, but what about Nanny? Surely she should take care of him so you can go back to sleep."

"She was here, but I sent her back to bed. I don't mind, really. I couldn't sleep any way, thinking about ... Well, I just wish the poor little chap weren't so upset. I think he's teething."

"Oh, I see. He must be very uncomfortable. Fortunately for you both, I happen to know a secret remedy."

"Do you?" Lady Mary looked at him, surprised.

"Indeed I do, M'Lady. May I?" he asked, holding out his arms to receive the young Master George. "If you'll allow me to carry the lad … Come with me, please. I have just the thing."

Lady Mary handed him the crying child and rose to follow him. He led her through the house to his pantry, where he deftly retrieved a bottle of brandy and two glasses with one hand, all the while holding the squirming babe carefully in his other arm.

Seeing the brandy, Lady Mary chuckled, "A glass of brandy might make you and me feel better, but I don't see what it's going to do for him."

"Wait and see, M'Lady. Wait and see," he assured her, while motioning for her to sit down in one of his chairs and handing Master George back to her for a moment.

Charles opened the bottle, poured two glasses, set one down on his small table, and handed the other to Lady Mary. Then he took the child from her again and sat down, carefully positioning him on his lap. After dipping his finger in his glass of brandy, he placed it on the little one's lips. When Master George opened his mouth to let out a cry, Charles gently worked his finger inside and rubbed a trace of brandy on the baby's gums. The infant calmed immediately and began sucking on Charles's finger. Lady Mary, who had been watching the whole process intently, opened her mouth in amazement.

"How does the Butler of Downton Abbey know how to soothe a teething baby?" she asked with an amused smile.

"A butler can't reveal all his secrets, M'Lady. Master George isn't the first baby I've known during my time in this house. I seem to recall that you had rather a rough go of it yourself with your first tooth. Drove your parents and nanny mad with worry."

"I'm not surprised. I've always been difficult."

"Not difficult, M'Lady. Strong-willed, perhaps. There is a difference."

"That's a very charitable way of putting it, Carson. But then, you've always thought too well of me."

"Nonsense," he scoffed.

They sat in silence for a time. The young Master George had fallen asleep sucking on Charles's finger, and Charles and Lady Mary sipped their brandy. Though he had initially welcomed the distraction from his troubles and the company of Lady Mary and her son, Charles soon became melancholy again.

"You still haven't answered my question," she reminded him, speaking quietly so as not to wake the boy. "Why are you awake at this hour? Surely you hadn't remained on duty half the night just in case you'd be needed to calm a teething infant."

"No, M'Lady, I hadn't," Charles admitted, smiling sadly at her comment, but not answering her question. She had always been so perceptive.

"Carson, what is it? Lately, you've been happier than I've ever known you to be. But tonight … Well, I've never seen you like this. You look as if you've lost your best friend."

"I'm afraid I have done, M'Lady."

The words had just slipped out. He really should have said that nothing was the matter, that he was perfectly all right. But he was feeling so wretched that he had said exactly what he had been thinking.

"Oh, Carson," said Lady Mary sympathetically. She reached out and covered his hand with her own. "What's happened? Have you and Mrs. Hughes had a misunderstanding?"

That day at tea, she had hinted that she was aware of his regard for Mrs. Hughes, and so her keen assessment of the situation didn't surprise him.

"Yes, I suppose you could say exactly that. Apparently, I misunderstood very badly."

"Misunderstood what? I'm sure the two of you can work it out. Have you told her how you feel?"

"Well … Not quite, M'Lady."

"May I give you one piece of advice, Carson? Tell her what's in your heart. If you love her, let her know. Then even if she doesn't love you - but I'm sure she does - you won't be sorry. But if you don't tell her, you could regret it all your life long."

"And if she doesn't love me?"

"Doesn't love you!" scoffed Lady Mary. "As if any woman in her right mind could stop herself loving you."

Charles smiled at her affectionately, recalling a similar conversation they had had years ago, about Mr. Matthew.

Just then, the very woman they were discussing appeared at the open door to his pantry. Charles's heart raced, his face flushed, and his breathing became erratic.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, M'Lady. I didn't know you were in here," apologized Mrs. Hughes.

Neither Charles nor Lady Mary had realized how late it had gotten - or rather how early. It was now morning, and Mrs. Hughes must have come down to start her day. Charles was thankful that they had been talking quietly and hoped she hadn't overheard.

"I was just going. Carson's been helping me console a teething baby, and I've been boosting his confidence," Lady Mary informed Mrs. Hughes.

She stood and took her sleeping son from Charles, telling him, "Thank you for the brandy, Carson. I think it helped me as much as it helped him. I know what you said about a butler revealing all his secrets, but I'm glad you've shared at least that one with me. And remember what I told you. A wise man once gave me the same advice. I wish only that I had listened to him sooner."

The young woman left his pantry, bidding Mrs. Hughes a good day on her way out.

"I was hoping to speak with you, Mr. Carson. May I come in?" asked Mrs. Hughes.

"Yes, please, Mrs. Hughes. I wanted to talk to you, too," said Charles, standing and moving in her direction.

Mrs. Hughes walked into his pantry and closed the door behind her.