MEMOS

Albus Dumbledore, what on earth have you been doing in my rooms?

Is this about the love note in your top drawer, because I honestly never wrote that?

No, Albus.

…

Wait, there's a love note in my drawer?

No-o…

Back to the more pressing issue of the new addition to my living room!

Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention that.

There is a massive goat in my living room and you "forgot to mention that"?

Erm…

Well? Are you going to explain yourself?

If you would give me a moment –

Have you entirely lost your wits?

On the contrary, I rather –

Have you been possessed by Aberforth?

Don't be ridicu –

Are you going to explain or not?

I am storing it for this year's pantomime.

Pantomime?

Yes. I thought that I would restart the old pantomime tradition.

You do remember what happened last time, don't you?

Oh, yes. But I thought I could get morale up a bit, what with all of this Triwizard stress going on.

And you thought that a pantomime could do that?

Yes. Why not?

And what do you suggest that this pantomime entails?

I was thinking that it would be nice to do one of those Muggle tales, you know, to make the newest Muggle-born students feel a little more welcome. Perhaps Cinderella.

Why would you need a goat for Cinderella?

It requires a horse, but a goat is easier to get. Aberforth has a lot of them.

You could just Transfigure something into one AND GET THIS THING OUT OF MY OFFICE!

Calm down and listen to my ideas.

...

I take your silence as an agreement to listen.

Just get on with it.

We will do it all in the Muggle way. No magic. Teach the children not to rely entirely on magic, give them a few practical skills. Think of it as an extended Muggle Studies class. We could get Aurora to teach them some painting skills when she creates the sets. It could be educational.

Hmm… I suppose the students might enjoy that… and heaven knows we have some dramatic characters this year…

Oh, it will not be the students acting it out.

Tell me you are not serious.

Think of how much more respect they will have for you after seeing you up on stage!

Respect? We will be mocked!

I think you would make a wonderful Fairy Godmother.

Run. NOW.

A/N: This memo exists simply as I am trying to relieve the pressure of having to learn two different versions of Cinderella pantomimes, in which I play different characters, and learn a role for a musical.