Dr. Stogner referred Gil and Sara to Dr. Pridmore, a neurologist who specialized in brain trauma and was experimenting with memory recovery by hypnosis. As a favor to his colleague, Dr. Pridmore agreed to see the Grissom's during the weekend. Since his office was in Reno, they made plans to stay the weekend in a hotel and leave Emily with Sara's mother. Neither Gil nor Sara would have the time, patience, or energy to entertain her; not to mention the long car ride would be too exhausting for the toddler. On the morning of, Gil was nervous. Nausea churned in his stomach and butterflies fluttered continuously.
"I'm nervous, "he told Sara. "Does it show?"
Sara lovingly smoothed his shirt. The feel of her hands felt not exactly natural, but were welcomed nonetheless. "Don't be." She said. "I promise I won't make you dance around like a chicken in your underwear."
Gil laughed at her joke and looked down to notice that her hands were shaking. It hadn't occurred to him that she would be just as nervous as he was. Carefully he took her hands in his and smiled at her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Sara shook her head. "Nothing," she said, she paused and did a bit of deep breathing. "I'm afraid this won't work and I'll lose everything."
Gil felt an overwhelming desire to comfort her and take her fears away; to tell her that everything was going to be alright. Though his old feelings for her hadn't resurfaced, he had started to see her in a different light.
"Everything is going to be fine," he said.
Sara straightened her blouse and smoothed her hair back, "Do I look alright?" she asked.
If there was one thing that Gil had forgotten totally, it was that women took their time in the bathroom. In all, Sara spent nearly an hour applying her makeup and doing her hair in every style known to man. Gil couldn't imagine what else she was doing in there, and frankly he didn't want to know. He was just satisfied that he got to take a bath.
"You look fine," Gil said and with a he chuckle he added. "Were you like this before?"
"No," Sara said. "Today is very important. I just want to look decent."
She opened the door to the waiting room and the stepped in. A receptionist looked up at them and nodded. Sara sat Gil on a couch and went to the window to fill out the necessary forms. He looked around the waiting room. It looked cozy enough with its leather furniture and displays of false flowers on every coffee table. For some reason unknown to him, Gil imagined that there would be a giant fish tank in the corner.
"Well," Sara said as she sat down next to him. "She isn't happy about being here on a Saturday."
Gil touched Sara's shoulder. "For some reason I thought there would be a fish tank in here," he said.
Sara's eyes lit up and she smiled. "Emily's pediatrician has a fish tank. It's filled with fish and she is always looking in it," she said. "Maybe you remember it."
She turned her attention to the clipboard, picked up the attached pen, and started filling out the information. Gil sifted through the magazines on the coffee table in front of them. Every magazine was scientific and they all featured articles on neurological discoveries and the latest procedures. He thumbed through one and found an article featuring a surgical procedure called craniotomy.
"Look at this," Gil said, showing Sara the article.
Sara read the introduction and snatched the magazine away from him. She smacked it back on the table and turned back to the insurance forms.
"No surgeries," she said. "You promised me that this family wouldn't go through any more surgeries. I'd rather have you like you are."
Gil held up his hands. "Okay," he said as he leaned back. "I just thought it was interesting. I'm sorry."
Sara gave him one last serious look and turned back to the forms. Worry wrinkles creased her forehead and Gil was sorry that he showed her the article. She had been so patient through everything; an ideal wife who seemed to match his personality. In his mind he had known her about five years, and in this time he wondered why he never noticed how smooth her skin looked. It was endearing the way she repeated every question softly to herself before penning the answer.
"Does the patient have any allergies?" she read in a soft voice. "None."
For a moment, Gil let his mind wander as he watched her concentrate. Slowly, his mind drifted to the first day he met her. Of course they both looked younger, but there was something about the way she looked at this moment that pleased him. He reminded himself of the night he was brought home, or what he was now referring to as his home. Sara showed that she had the patience for him that only someone who loved him could have and when he looked into her eyes, loved looked back at him. At that moment, his desire to make love to her was strong. So strong in fact, that he almost reached out to touch her.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sara asked.
Gil didn't even realize that she had been looking at him. "I'm not," he defended. "Looking at you in any way."
Sara tried to hide her smile. "Gil, I've been with you for years," she said. "I know that look."
Gil turned away. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said.
Sara shook her head. "Whatever, Gil," she said as she stood. "Your body is probably craving sex."
Gil gaped at her. "Sara," he said. "A doctor's office isn't the place to discuss this."
Sara shook her head and laughed. "You tell me when we can discuss it," she said with a wink.
Gil didn't know whether to be appalled or turned on. His mind was still telling him 'employee stay away', but his surroundings told him 'hot wife, move in'. He did a bit of deep breathing and went over his options. He could either ignore this opportunity or hope that another one presented its self soon, or he could take advantage.
"Gil, you need to think about this now," he thought. "She could be lying to you. You could actually still be single and this could all be a trick."
"Oh Jesus," Gil's other half said. "Do you think the kid is a liar? Or did you forget the way she was crawling all over you? Take advantage of your wife."
Gil looked over at Sara and saw that she was slightly bent over, talking to the receptionist. The black skirt that she had chosen to wear that day flattered her figure.
"Dr. and Mrs. Grissom?" Dr. Pridmore asked as he opened the door to the back room.
Sara straitened up and extended her hand. "Dr. Pridmore," she said. "Thank you so much for seeing us."
"Not at all," Dr. Pridmore said. "I owe Dr. Stogner a favor."
They followed him through the door and into a room that looked comfortable enough to be a living room. It had a comfortable looking leather sofa, a matching love seat, and a side-board that offered coffee and muffins. Sara and Gil each accepted a cup and listened intently as Dr. Pridmore explained hypnosis.
"What I am going to do is put Gil in a deep stage of relaxation," Dr. Pridmore explained.. "We won't worry about uncovering memories today. All I want to do for now is poke around Gil's mind."
"Have you had success with memory recovery before?" Sara asked.
Dr. Pridmore nodded. "Some," he said. "But then again, Gil's hippocampus is damaged. There is an equal chance of this succeeding or failing. If it fails, don't get discouraged. Memories are sometimes 'loosened up' and come out over tine after hypnosis."
Sara nodded. "None of this can hurt him, right?" she asked.
"Oh no," Dr. Pridmore reassured her. "Gil will be just fine, I can assure you. He'll feel like he is in a dream."
"How long does it take?" Gil asked.
"Well," Dr. Pridmore said. "Falling into a trance may take moments. Today, our session will on last for a few hours. Now, if you'll step into the back room Mrs. Grissom, we can get started."
Sara stood slowly and gave Gil a reassuring smile. To her amazement, he smiled back and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze.
O~O
"Gil, I want you to lie back on the sofa and take your shoes off. Just, act as if you were at home and coming in after a long day," Dr. Pridmore said in a voice that was eerily soothing.
Gil did as he was told and closed his eyes. "I just want to warn you," he said. "I may fall asleep."
Dr. Pridmore chuckled. "Try not to," he said. "I want you to find a place in your mind where you are most happy. Do you see a place?"
The first place that Gil could think of was a lake. It wasn't Lake Tahoe or Lake Mead; it was a smaller, more public lake. The sun shone a bright, vibrant yellow and the sky was a rich, deep blue. The grass was such a green that it looked like it came from the garden section of a department store, butter cups were in bloom along the lake shore. There were geese and ducks of all colors and sizes waddling around, Emily was standing to the side, holding a piece of bread and letting a white goose nibble it.
"Can you tell me who is in your happy place?" Dr. Pridmore's voice said.
Gil looked around. He saw Emily, the birds, and then he saw Sara. She was setting food out on a picnic table, her brown hair was loose and blowing in the wind. He didn't question why she was in his happy place, having her there was a comfort.
"Emily is here," Gil said. "And Sara."
"That's good," Dr. Pridmore said. "Now you are feeling very relaxed; you feel relaxed from the tips of your toes to the ends of your fingertips. You can feel your muscles of your arms... just going limp."
Gil sat in the prickly grass by the lake and looked up at the clouds. The clouds looked like giant, white puffs of cotton against the blue sky. There was a brilliant, red kite fluttering in the wind, and for a moment he just watched it. The geese's honks sounded real and the sound of lapping lake water was relaxing.
"What is everyone doing?" Dr. Pridmore asked from somewhere up in the sky.
Gil leaned up and looked back at Sara and Emily. Emily was sitting down, busying herself with a patch of clovers; picking the little white trifolium. Sara was scooping out food for a little picnic and best of all, a plastic container of chocolate covered grasshoppers sat to the side.
"I think I see Sara setting out potato salad," Gil said. "I see some grasshoppers for dessert."
"Gil, can you tell me why you invited Sara?" Dr. Pridmore asked.
O~O
In the other room, Sara stood watching through the two-way mirror. In all honesty, she was worried that the session would hinder Gil's memory instead of help it. When Gil spoke of his happy place, Sara was a little surprised that she was included.
"Sara," Gil said. "She can be a little difficult sometimes, but I've always held her in a separate place."
Dr. Pridmore nodded. "What kind of a place? A romantic place?"
Gil was quiet for a moment. "Kind of," he said. "It was always a look-but-don't-touch kind of relationship."
Though Sara was pained by his words, she reminded herself that he was thinking the thoughts from eight years ago. That period in time had been the most stressful for them. Whatever relationship they had was strained by Gil's hesitation to respect her and her own failure to control her emotions. The man whom she loved deeply now was actually no different from the man eight years ago, they simply had just learned to understand and accept each other. In turn, that understanding turned to love.
"She's gone," Gil said out of nowhere. "Sara is gone."
Dr. Pridmore straightened up. "Where did she go?" he asked.
It took a moment for Gil to answer, but when he did his voice was sluggish. "To find the babies," he answered. "They left and she was very upset."
Sara felt a chill run the length of her backbone and tickle the tips of her toes. She didn't need Dr. Pridmore or Dr. Stogner to write out what he meant by 'babies'. He was remembering the miscarriages and the pain that she felt.
"Alright Gil," Dr. Pridmore said. "By the lake there is a path. You decide to follow it."
O~O
Gil took Emily by the hand and walked towards the winding path beside the lake. He wasn't worried that Sara would be lost, she knew the way. As he walked Emily disappeared too, but he wasn't concerned. As he continued forward, the weeds began to fall away and the sun began to dim.
"Follow the trail and you'll start to forget about the lake," Dr. Pridmore said. "Come back to the office."
The path in front of Gil became a tunnel and then… his eyes were open. Slowly he looked around the room. Everything was quiet and silence rang in his ears. He felt as if he had just woken up from a nap.
"Did we do it?" he asked.
Dr. Pridmore set his clipboard to the side. "Yes, we did," he said. "You have a very interesting mind. I won't tell you what I learned just yet."
The door to the office opened and Sara stepped back inside. Gil looked for a hint of emotion in her eyes, but she was hiding it very well.
"I need for him to get plenty of rest tonight," Dr. Pridmore said. "Tomorrow we will try and dig up the past."
Please leave me a review. This chapter took a few takes for me to write. I kept trashing it and starting from scratch. I want to bring you the best and I want to know if I achieved that.