A/N: Well, the holidays are here and I finally have time to write! Requests are open and welcomed.
MEMOS
Is that James Potter lying on the floor outside?
Yes, I do believe it is.
Is he alright?
Well, I poked him with a stick and he didn't move. He might be dead.
You poked him with a stick and then just left him there? A student?
I believe that is what I just said, yes.
How much have you had to drink today?
How dare you accuse me of being drunk on the job?
Technically, it is a weekend. You could be out doing whatever you like.
What is a weekend? With the amount of work I've had to do recently, I have forgotten what it is like to have those marvellous free days. Wait, if we can do anything on weekends, does this mean that I can go to that convention in January?
No.
Why not?
Because a tartan convention is a stupid idea. Especially when even your biscuit tin is tartan.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of your heritage!
But you do not have to rub it in our faces.
Says the man who wears hippogriff-printed robes when he's feeling particularly "springy".
Hang on, Mr. Potter is moving now. You were lucky this time.
Shh. This is all part of my master plan.
Why do I not like the sound of this?
Because you have a disturbing lack of faith in me.
I wonder why that could be?
Shh. Just watch.
Is that?
Yes, indeed.
But… how did you…? She would never agree to that, would she?
Looks like it.
You, my friend, are a genius.
Well… I wouldn't call myself a 'genius', but it's absolutely fine if you want to.
How did you get Lily Evans to go down there and meet James Potter? It's clear to all that he is besotted with Miss Evans, but she despises him.
Ah, I pity you, Albus. Your lack of insight into the female mind is quite endearing.
What do you mean?
Of course she likes him! Have you seen the way she laughs at his jokes.
You laugh at my jokes…
Yes, but not in the same way. She does the doe-eyes thing when James makes jokes but never when she thinks anybody is watching. I tell you, they will get together.
Well, by the looks of it, it won't be anytime soon.
Why not?
She just put the jelly legs jinx on him as she left.
Ah. That may be a minor obstacle. I almost feel like I should go down there and help him out.
Almost?
I think that for a second, then I look out of my window and remember how hilarious it is to see him trying to walk.
How much did you drink, Minerva?
Never ask a lady her alcohol limit, Albus.
I thought it was her age that you are not supposed to ask?
Sssssssssh.
A/N: Five house points if you can spot the Downton Abbey reference!