So, I'm finally getting Chapter Fifteen up, after making you guys wait for over a month.

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Guest: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Don't worry, Katie and Kyle are friends, I promise :) Thank you for taking the time to review, I appreciate it!

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THANK YOU to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, or reviewed this story! You're all so amazing, and I can't even begin to tell you guys how much I appreciate the continued support :)

So, this chapter was originally supposed to be a filler, and it still kind of is, but the thing is, there's a turning point towards the end. I had to think long and hard about how I wanted this chapter to end, because I knew whatever I did was going to affect the rest of the story (which there's still plenty of, so don't worry :)). This really isn't a good chapter to post the day before Valentine's Day, and for that I'm sorry, but I finally figured out what I needed to do with it, and I wanted to get it up so that you guys wouldn't have to wait any longer. It's not the best chapter I've ever written, and it was actually pretty difficult to write, but here it is.

Enjoy the chapter :)

Chapter Fifteen: Fear and Indecision

Katie's POV

The first words out of my mouth the next morning were, "We're never talking about last night ever again."

James blinked at me, still half asleep. "What?"

"Last night never happened. I had dinner with you and your family, we dry humped, we fell asleep. No talking, no heart to heart, nothing. It never happened."

"Whatever you say," he mumbled out as he rolled over.

"I'm serious! If you tell anyone, I will take a wrench and use it to twist your balls."

"Ouch."

"That's what I'm saying. So don't tell anyone."

He rolled back over, giving me an annoyed look. "For your information, Katie-Bear, I wasn't planning on telling anyone."

"Oh, for heaven's sake! What is it going to take?"

He stared at me. "What the hell's wrong with you?! I'm agreeing to your terms and demands here."

"Well, stop!"

"So you want me to tell everyone?"

"No!"

"Then what?!"

I paused, frowning. Huh. I guess I just wanted to fight with him. Give me a reason not to be so embarrassed about last night.

James rolled back over. "Did you stay just to fight with me?" he demanded.

I shook my head.

"Good. Because it's too early to fight with you."

"What time is it?"

He glanced at the clock. "Eight AM. And we're off from school. I'm going back to sleep, and you should too." He grabbed his pillow and stuffed it over his face.

"You're awfully grumpy in the morning," I commented.

"Go back to sleep."

"Oooh, demanding." Hot…I curled up next to him again and closed my eyes, drifting off soon after.

The next time I woke up was to Mrs. Diamond's voice: "Oh, goodness, I knew I should've gotten those condoms…"

"Water balloons," James mumbled. "Fun in the sun…"

I opened my eyes to find Mrs. Diamond standing in the doorway, Shane a foot or so behind her, a grin etched widely on his face.

Well. This was embarrassing.

And I didn't even want to know what James was rambling on about.

"Well?" Shane demanded. "What happened?"

"Well, obviously I slept over," I grumbled. "Problem?"

"Apparently not."

"Good."

"You two should probably get up," Mrs. Diamond piped up. "Katie, I'm sure your dad is worried about you."

"Right…" I pushed the covers back and got to my feet, running my fingers through my hair.

"Of course, you're more than welcome to stay for breakfast," Mrs. Diamond continued on. "We're having waffles, if you're interested."

"Oh…um…" I glanced at James, to gauge his reaction. He was sitting up now, hair sticking up everywhere, and I tried my hardest not to smile. He was so adorable like that.

"Sure," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "Mom makes the best waffles. And she has nothing to lecture us because obviously we're both dressed and nothing happened last night."

"Right," I nodded. "We fell asleep talking."

Shane smirked. "Right…talking…is that what the kids are calling it now? Talking…Hey, Mom, can I go talk with Kyle?"

Mrs. Diamond glared at him. "Don't even think about talking with him. Honestly, teenage boys…" she stomped out of the room, looking very bad tempered.

Shane looked at us. "Something I said?"

James pointed out his door. "Go!"

"Aye, aye, Captain Talk-A-Lot!" He grinned and headed out the door, closing it behind him.

"It's official," James groaned, falling back against his pillows, "my family's nuts."

"Nah, I think it's just your brother. Your mom seems pretty cool to me," I told him as I crawled back onto the bed. I settled my head on his chest. "Sir Talk-A-Lot…" I snorted slightly.

James tugged on my hair lightly in retaliation.

"What? It's funny. And he's right, you do talk a lot."

"Well, talking a lot seems to keep us from making mistakes," he pointed out.

"You promised you'd never bring that up," I snapped, pushing away from him.

"And I won't bring it up in front of anyone else. But you never did give me an actual answer for what happened last night."

"I just got caught up in the moment! You certainly weren't complaining!"

He took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. We won't talk about it again if you don't want to."

"I don't."

"Okay."

"Okay."

He nodded and got to his feet. "Come on, you probably need to brush your teeth or something."

I shrugged; instead of saying anything, I let him lead me out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom. He got me a spare toothbrush and tube of toothpaste, before pulling out a washcloth while I was brushing my teeth. Once I was finished, he grabbed his own toothbrush, and I did a quick wash of my face.

Once we were both cleaned up enough, we headed downstairs to find Mrs. Diamond setting waffles on the table. She already had maple and raspberry syrup, as well as jam, sitting on the table, and there was also a bowl of fruit.

She smiled at James and me and gestured for us to sit down.

"Thanks a bunch," I said to her as she loaded James' and my plates up with waffles.

"It's not a problem at all. You don't get a lot of home cooked, family meals, do you?"

"No, not really. My dad's always working, and my brother lives with my mom."

"Well, you're welcome over here anytime," she told me, patting my hand sweetly.

"Thanks."

Shane trooped downstairs a moment later and plopped into his chair. He glanced at us. "So, what happened last night? You two sleep together or what?"

"Sure," James replied, reaching for the butter and maple syrup. "We slept together in the sense that we actually slept together."

"Yeah, that's boring. I can't believe it. You two have this insane sexual tension, and you spend the night together and sleep. What's up with that?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"I can't. All I know is that you two are nuts."

I shrugged and helped myself to the raspberry syrup.

It was past eleven AM by the time I pulled up in front of my house. I didn't see Dad's car in the driveway, and for the first time I checked the messages on my phone. I had one from Dad, letting me know that he had gone in to work early that morning and probably wouldn't be back until that evening. Another text came through, this time from Cami: Hey, wanna go shopping with Jo and Steph? We could look for clothes for the trip.

I smiled and texted her back, Sure, what time?

She replied, 1:00 work?

Sounds good.

Awesome, I'll pick you up then. See you then! :)

See you then :)

I slipped my phone into my jeans pocket and headed on into the house. I flipped on lights and cranked the heat up, before dashing upstairs to take a quick shower. I did so and changed into another pair of jeans, boots, and a sweater.

At one on the dot, Cami texted me to let me know that she was outside. I hurried out, locking up behind me, and rushed down to the street, sliding into her car.

"Ready for a girls' afternoon out?" Camille asked me with a grin.

"More than ready," I replied.

"Awesome. Brace yourself, it's gonna be a bumpy ride."

James' POV

The next few days went by both slowly and quickly at the same time, and before any of us knew it, it was Wednesday morning, and Mom was driving Shane and me over to the Knights'. Kendall, Katie, Shane, Kyle, Jo, and I were all riding in Mrs. Knight's van, while Logan, Camille, Carlos, and Stephanie were going to drive up there in Logan's car.

We pulled up in front of Kendall's house and jumped out of Mom's car, grabbing our luggage.

"Thanks for the ride," I said to her as we crowded around by the open driver's window so that we could talk to Mom. "We'll call you when we get up there, okay?"

Mom nodded. "Be safe, okay? Call me every morning and every night, and if you can, text me in-between those times."

"We will," Shane promised.

"Good. I love you both so much." She kissed our cheeks and gave us a small smile.

"Love you too," we both chorused, smiling back at her.

"Okay, so, you got everything?" she asked, wiping at her eyes.

Shane and I did a quick check to make sure we hadn't left anything at home or in the car, before turning back to appraise Mom. Was she…crying?

She sniffed slightly, reaching for a tissue and blowing her nose.

"Aww…why are you crying?" I asked her, reaching through the window to hug her. She leaned into me.

"Because you're both growing up so fast," she sobbed. "You're both in relationships now – "

"I'm not," I corrected her, but she ignored me.

" – and now you're going on your first un-chaperoned vacation. Where did the time go?"

Shane hugged her too. "Hey, we're still your little boys. We're just your big little boys."

"Exactly," I told her. "You'll always have us. It's only for a little over a half week. We'll be home on Monday evening. You'll see, Monday will come by really, really fast."

She let out another sob. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. You should go let the others know you're here. I'll talk to you both tonight."

"Talk to you tonight," I said, kissing her cheek. "Love you."

Shane kissed her cheek as well. "And I love you."

"Love you both," she sniffled. Before she could back out of the driveway, the front door swung open, and Kendall and Mrs. Knight came out of the house, closely followed by Katie. My eyes immediately focused in on Katie. She was in jeans, a cowl neck long sleeved shirt, and boots with three inch heels.

I almost laughed. Typical Katie. It wouldn't surprise me if she planned on arriving at the hotel in those, rather than with normal snow boots.

All three Knights joined us, and Mrs. Knight looked at Mom. "Feeling nostalgic?"

Mom sniffled again, dabbing at her eyes with the tissue. "A bit…"

"Well, why don't you come in? We can have hot chocolate, and I made chocolate chip cookies for the kids' trip. I made a triple batch, so I have plenty left over."

"Thanks," Mom replied. She climbed out of the car, and Mrs. Knight gave her a quick hug.

"I've been going through separation anxiety all morning," she laughed. "And a little last night. Katie stayed with us since her dad's out of town on a business trip, and having both of the kids in the house at the same time reminds me of when they were younger."

"They grow up way too quickly," Mom said as they headed for the house. "I remember when James and Shane were still in kindergarten and pre-k. How does the time go by so quickly?"

"I have no idea," Mrs. Knight replied sadly. "I mean, now my daughter's buying really nice undergarments and stuff. And her bras! She went up a cup in the last few months, and no one realized it. Can you believe it? I had to run her out to the store last night to pick up some new bras for her. And she has hips! Curves! How does that even happen?"

"Tell me about it. I had to have James measure himself so that I could pick him up a pack of condoms. It was a little freaky to see how much he's matured. And I just know Shane's going to follow along in his footsteps, if he hasn't already."

There was a long silence as we all processed the conversation between our mothers. I decided now would be a really good time to get a brainwash.

Katie broke the silence. She turned to me and said, "You know, I didn't think it felt that small."

Shane immediately cracked up. "This is better than pay-per-view."

"Gross!" Kendall hollered. "Ew! Ew! My ears are bleeding! Oh my God! I didn't need to know that you had close proximity with his – his – his – "

"Dick?" Katie suggested helpfully.

"Please let me get amnesia," he whimpered.

"Sorry, dude, I think you're shit out of luck," Shane told him, patting his back. "If it helps, it gets a little better after you've been around them for awhile."

By the way Kendall glared at him, it didn't help at all.

"Well, I tried," Shane shrugged.

"Just you wait until Mom starts embarrassing you," I snapped.

"Yeah, we'll see," Shane snickered.

"I can't believe my mom brought up the size of my sister's chest…" Kendall shuddered.

"Hey, at least I have cleavage now," Katie shrugged. "Not a lot, but I've got it." She smirked slightly, looking pretty damn proud of herself.

"Save it for James." Kendall shuddered again and headed into the house.

The rest of us turned for the house, but before we could move, a dark gray SUV pulled up, and Kyle climbed out of the front passenger's seat, duffel bag in hand and backpack thrown over his shoulder. He leaned over to hug his mother goodbye, before grinning at us.

We all grinned back, and Shane wandered down the driveway to greet him as Kyle's mom backed away from the curb and headed down the street.

Kyle pecked Shane's lips, and Katie and I both smiled at each other, before going on into the house.

The others arrived soon after, and we began to pack up the back of the van, before trying to figure out who would ride where. Kendall was driving, and Jo ended up calling shotgun. That left Katie and me in the middle seats, and Shane and Kyle in the back.

Katie grinned at me, and scooted a little closer, but I moved back a little bit.

This morning was the first time I had seen Katie since Sunday, and I'll admit that I kind of made sure of that. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her, but I had some stuff that I was trying to work out, and I couldn't do that if she was all over me. I had come to the conclusion – which I had kind of already known before – that I didn't want to continue to fool around with Katie if there wasn't some kind of relationship between us. It didn't feel right; it felt too much like a friends with benefits relationship, and I didn't want that at all. It was okay for some people, but it wasn't my type of thing. It just didn't feel right.

Katie gave me a questioning look, but didn't press the issue.

At noon we stopped at a diner off the road for lunch, where we met up with Logan, Camille, Carlos, and Stephanie.

"So, I've been trying to figure out the room arrangements," Kendall said as he took a huge bite out of his burger. "I know Logan and Camille will be rooming together, and Jo and Stephanie will be in the same room. I figured Carlos and I would end up together, and either Shane would end up with James, or he'd end up with Kyle."

Shane fidgeted slightly, and I glanced at him. We both knew Mom wouldn't want him sharing a room with Kyle, and if that did happen, I'd be in the same room as Katie. Kyle and Katie both watched us as if they were trying to figure out what we were thinking.

After several seconds of silence, Katie spoke up: "I'm cool with either one. I mean, I have no problem with sleeping in the same room as James – " cue smirk – "but I'm also fine with sharing a room with Kyle. In fact," she continued on, "I haven't spent a lot of time with Kyle lately, so I think I should just share a room with him, and James and Shane can be together. And we can always switch arrangements if we need to."

Shane threw Katie a grateful smile, and she returned it, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She leaned over to whisper to me, "See? I'm not all evil."

"I never said you were," I murmured back.

She just shrugged and turned back to her chicken wrap.

"You look relieved," Jo said observantly to me. "Didn't you want to share a room with Katie?"

I shifted. "Why are you bringing that up here? And why does it matter?"

"Because I don't want to bring it up later. And it matters, because Katie's one of my best friends."

"It's not really anyone's business what I want, and don't want, to do," I replied. "Katie's awesome, but we're not dating."

"But there's still something going on," Camille piped up. "You two were making out in the coffee shop on Saturday. Did something happen to change your mind?"

"What? Isn't Katie good enough?" Stephanie added in. "What happened, your angel tendencies finally catch up with you?"

I stared at all three girls. "What the hell is your problem? This is between Katie and me. And has it ever occurred to you that maybe there's more to it than what you see?"

"Katie tells us everything, so there isn't anything more to it," Jo snipped.

"Okay, you know what?" Kyle spoke up. "James is right, this isn't any of your business, and it's really rude to be bringing that up here, in front of other people, including Katie. So why don't you three stop acting like The Plastics, and eat your food."

"Kyle, James obviously is hiding something," Jo informed him. "Maybe he's playing Katie. I mean, we did see that slutty cheerleader flirting with him last week."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not playing Katie, and besides, we're. Not. Dating! Okay? She doesn't want to date me, she's said it repeatedly. She won't date a hockey player. And maybe I actually do care about her and I'm just tired of her jerking me around. Has anyone ever thought about that?"

There was a long pause as everyone digested my words, and then Katie threw her napkin down and slid out of the booth. "I'll wait in the car."

"No – Katie – " I groaned, while the girls all glared at me. I tossed my own napkin down as Katie stalked out of the diner, and I got up as well. This trip was off to a great start…

Katie's POV

I walked out of the restaurant and was immediately hit with brisk, cold air. I shivered and wrapped my arms closer around my body as I made my way back to the car. I climbed in and collapsed in my seat, fighting back tears. I had hurt James, I had hurt myself, and now he didn't want to be around me. Sure, he hadn't actually said that, but I could tell by his body language that he was regretting Friday night and Saturday.

I covered my face with my hands, and a tear trickled out, and then another one followed. I curled up in the seat, arms wrapped around my knees, pulling them up to my chest.

James wasn't the only one who was beginning to regret whatever we had been for two days. I was too. As much as I hated to admit it, I really did care about James, and there was part – a huge part – that wanted to be with him. But the thing was, when I looked at him, all I could see were our differences, the gaps, the chasms between us. And we seemed to be completely unable to bridge them.

Maybe we'd be able to if I was more willing, but I wasn't. I was terrified of what I felt for him, of how both my hormones and emotions seemed to spin out of control when I was around him, of all the things he could make me feel at once – fear, happiness, sadness, longing, desire, and something that almost resembled trust.

I had watched my parents' marriage fall apart. They loved each other, they still did, but that didn't change that they couldn't make it work. And if they couldn't stay with each other, then there was no way in hell that James and I could be together and not turn the entire thing into a huge mess. Even more a mess than it already was, I mean. Because this thing was just out of control.

My phone buzzed, and I reluctantly dug it out of my purse. The tears fell faster as I realized that it was a text from Sarah: What's this I hear about you 'spending time' with James Diamond? He's a hockey player and a distraction. Get rid of him, or else I'm going to leak the news about his little brother's sexuality.

The van's door slid open and I looked up. James crawled into the van and closed the door behind him, locking it. He gingerly sat down beside me, eyes never leaving my face. I could only imagine what I looked like, face tear stained, eyes red and puffy.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I shouldn't have said all that in front of you."

"But it's the truth," I replied, looking away from him. "We both know this isn't what you want. You're the committing type, and I'm not. I don't like hockey players, and I really don't believe in love." Sarah's text rang in my head, and in that moment, I knew exactly what I was about to do. I had no idea how she had found out about Shane, but I had to protect him and James.

"That's not true," he retorted, voice fierce. "We both know it's not."

"Do we?" I turned back to face him. "The power of love…gimme a fucking break. Love couldn't save my parents' marriage. Love can't save Kendall from being hurt on the ice. Love hasn't saved me from Sarah. And love isn't going to keep us together."

He paused. "Are you breaking up with me…?"

"How can you break up with someone when you never had a relationship with them?" I wanted to know.

He stared at me. "Katie…Katie-Bear…"

I glanced away once more. "This isn't what you want. You care about me more than I care about you. All I'm doing is leading you on, and it's not fair to you."

"You don't – you don't care about me?" His face crumpled slightly, and I felt my stomach twist with guilt and pain.

"I do, but not the way that you do. I like you as a friend, and I'm attracted to you physically…" God, I was lying my ass off. I couldn't even figure out where I was getting what I was saying. My brain wasn't telling me to say this stuff; it kept on screaming STOP! STOP! But the part of me that listened to Sarah, that bent to her every wish, just kept making the words spill straight out of my mouth.

"But you don't want anything to do with me romantically," he stated, his voice turning icy cold.

I was so scared, I realized, so afraid of him and what could happen that I was willing to break his heart to protect mine. And I was terrified of what Sarah would do if I continued to 'spend time' with James. Her leaking the news that Shane was gay would seriously hurt him, and James, and Mrs. Diamond. Mrs. Diamond had been nothing but a sweetheart to me, and James had done so much for me, while all I'd done was jerk him around at every twist and turn.

I blinked back another round of tears. "I'm sorry. But you know I don't date hockey players."

"Whatever." He unlocked the door and climbed out, before facing me, a furious expression on his face, coupled with a wounded look in his eyes. "It always comes back to the fact that I'm a hockey player, doesn't it? And it always will. It's your excuse for not going out with me, it's the one you lean on. And by the time you realize that maybe you should give me a chance, I might have moved on. No, you know what? There is no might. I'll be long gone." He slammed the door shut and I watched through the tinted windows as he made his way back to the diner.

I curled back up, sobbing harder than ever, my heart breaking every bit as much as James' was.

*Cowers behind a tree* I'm so sorry! I really, really am. I know you guys are probably so mad at me right now, and I don't blame you, I'm pretty mad at myself, but it was necessary for what's coming next. And I really hope you guys will forgive me and still be willing to read this, even though that ^^ just happened. So please forgive me, and please don't hate me, because this isn't the end, the story's still going, and all this was, was a slight turning point. And I know Katie probably seems all over the place, but she's been like that throughout the story, she just got really bad this chapter.

Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope you guys will still be around for the next chapter.