When Gil was brought out of his hypnotic state, the first thing he noticed was that his heart was racing and that he was soaked with sweat. Slowly he sat up and looked around. Dr. Pridmore was looking at him, a worried expression on his face.
"What happened?" Gil asked.
Dr. Pridmore didn't know. "I am not sure," he said. "It's obvious that hypnosis can help you, but you have something blocking you from remembering; some situation that your mind doesn't want you to remember."
The door to the office opened and Sara hurried over to sit beside him. She put her gentle hands on his face and looked into his eyes. Her brown eyes were large and afraid, but Gil couldn't remember why.
"Are you alright?" she asked, her voice desperate.
Sara turned to Dr. Pridmore. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I want to do this anymore," she said.
Dr. Pridmore held up his hand. "No apologies necessary," he said, writing something on his clipboard. "I think Gil has a very deep mind, but to go any further may not be wise."
Sara nodded. "What exactly happened to him?" she asked.
Dr. Pridmore scratched his nose. "It's hard to say," he said." Gil's mind seems to be in a different place. Part of him doesn't want to remember."
Sara was confused. "He doesn't want to remember his life?" she asked.
"I do though," Gil insisted. "I want to have memories of my family. Saying that I don't want to is insane."
"You are misunderstanding my point," Dr. Pridmore said. "Is there anything that occurred before the accident?"
Both men looked at Sara and she sighed. "I don't know what it was," she said. "Gil was angry all the time. The day of the accident we had a fight and you left. I waited up for you, but I had figured you were staying overnight at a hotel."
"What did you fight about?" Dr. Pridmore asked her.
"He was angry," Sara said. "He had been angry for weeks. Emily was coloring on the wall and Gil just… lost his temper."
Gil felt guilty. "Did I hurt her?" he asked.
Sara shook her head. "No," she said. "You just scared her… and you scared me."
Gil was at a loss. "I'm not the kind of person who would take things out on my family," he said. "I know myself better than that."
Dr. Pidmore took off his glasses and looked at Sara. "Gil mentioned an overturned car," he said. "I think that may be the accident."
Sara shook her head in disagreement. "It was something else that happened to us," she explained.
Gil felt useless. He was sitting with two people that were discussing his mind; the very thing that a person should be able to control for their own selves. He felt jealous of Sara at that moment; jealous of her memories and explanations.
"Then what is it?" Gil asked firmly.
Sara looked over at him. "I think its best we don't talk about it," she said.
"Fuck that," Gil said. "I want to know what happened in my life. I want to know what happened to us."
Sara hesitated. "You don't understand, Gil," she said. "It was so hard."
Gil rubbed his aching forehead and felt anger rising. "Don't tell me I don't understand," he said softly, but firmly.
He stood slowly, grabbed his crutches, and hobbled into the waiting room. Sara looked down at her shoes and Dr. Pridmore started talking. Gil's words weighed heavy on her heart and she knew he was right.
O~O
The ride back to the hotel was quiet. Gil didn't say anything about the hypnosis, nor did he ask any questions. He simply stared out the window. Sara asked him if he was hungry and suggested they stop and eat.
"I just want to go home," Gil said solemnly
An idea struck Sara and she smiled. "How about we go to Vegas," she suggested. "See some old friends."
Gil shook his head. "It's a long drive," he said. "We need to get back to Emily."
Sara smiled at him. "Don't worry," she said. "My mom won't have a problem with keeping her. I know you would like to see Catherine and Nick. Jim is still there."
Gil wanted to say 'No', but he knew Sara was right. Seeing familiar faces would be nice. He turned to Sara and returned her smile.
"Yes," he said. "Let's go."
O~O
Driving to Vegas from Reno was out of the question. Neither Gil nor Sara wanted to be stuck in a car for eight hours. Flying was the best choice, and it would be more comfortable for the both of them. Sara slept on the plane, but Gil found himself afraid to go to sleep. He had forgotten to grab a magazine before the flight, so he occupied himself by looking around the cabin. To his right sat a business man with his laptop, a woman with a baby, and a man who had fallen asleep. The woman with the baby had dark brown hair like Sara and in her lap, she bounced her baby lovingly. Gil felt his mind wander to false memories of Sara holding a baby. In his heart, he felt pride. He looked over at Sara and gazed at the freckles that were dusted over her cheeks.
"A lot of people live with Amnesia," he told himself. "I can make this work."
Sara stirred and her eyes fluttered open. She looked at Gil and smiled. "I see your brain working," she said.
"I was just thinking about life," he said. "I was thinking that I can make this work."
Sara stretched and nodded. "I know you can," she said and then she added. "I know we can."
Gil reached over and smoothed Sara's hair back. "It will be hard for a little while," he said. "Just forget about the bad things. I don't remember them and I don't want you to."
"I don't want to remember them," she said. "But some of the bad things helped us grow. They were important."
Gil didn't have the strength to explain what he meant. "I know," he said.
O~O
After their plane landed, Sara and Gil rented a car and drove to the crime lab. It was interesting to see how things had either changed or stayed the same. He recognized places that he would eat and pointed out 'Frank's', the old diner that the team would have breakfast at.
"There is where we had our first 'date'," Sara said, pointing to a rundown looking restaurant.
Gil wrinkled his forehead. "Why on earth would I take you there?" he asked.
Sara shrugged. "It was a spur-of-the-moment thing," she said. "They have good soup."
Gil chuckled. "It feels weird being here," he said. "I remember it, but it looks different."
Sara turned in the parking lot of CSI headquarters and turned off the engine. For a moment they both sat there, starring at the building. Gil remembered the countless shifts he had worked in that building. Even though there were some that he did not remember, he was glad that he was back.
"Ready?" Sara said, opening the door and stepping out into the crisp air.
Gil nodded and together they walked into the building. Sara had forgotten that everything looked different to him; he probably didn't remember the explosion.
"What happened in here?" he asked.
Sara took his hand and led him further into the building. "There was an accident," she explained. "We had to rebuild a lot of the labs."
"Oh," Gil said.
Sara walked up to the doorway of the break room and knocked. "Hello?" she called sweetly.
A few people sat at the table that Gil didn't recognize, but he zoomed in on Archie. He remembered Archie.
"Grissom!" Everyone said simultaneously.
Gil shook everyone's hand politely, but didn't know what to say. He looked at a grey-haired lab tech and recognized him.
"We had just hired you," Gil said. "Last I remember."
"It's probably best that you don't remember Hodges," Sara said.
"Very funny," Hodges said. "You should take your act on the road."
"Wow," said an exotic looking, black haired lab tech. "He really doesn't remember."
Gil looked at her and smiled. "You're Wendy," he said.
Sara's eyes grew wide. "How did you know that?" she asked.
"It's on her name tag," Gil answered.
O~O
"We all still miss him," Catherine said. "I try to remember that he wouldn't want us to hurt."
Before their shift started, Gil and the old team were sitting at 'Frank's'. It was Sara's idea that they eat where Gil was most familiar. Everyone whom Gil remembered came to eat with him and help fill in whatever gaps they could. Sara was worried that relearning the news of Warrick's death would be too much, but Gil handled it skillfully.
"I kind of didn't expect to see him," Gil answered honestly. "I think I already knew."
Nick agreed. "Sometimes our hearts know things that our brains don't," he said.
Greg chuckled. "Dude that was deep," he said.
Nick pointed at him. "Shut up," he said.
Gil couldn't help but laugh. "It's so good to be here," he said. "There is one thing I want to know that Sara won't tell me. What happened in the desert?"
Everybody grew quiet and Greg piped up. "I think he means the mini's," he said.
Sara shook her head. "I don't want this now," she said.
"It was a case," Catherine said. "A woman named Natalie Davis killed and constructed half-inch scale models of the crime scenes. They were eerily precise," she said. "A man confessed to the crimes, but he was covering for Natalie because she was his foster daughter."
"I need to step out," Sara said, standing quickly.
Gil reached for her. "Wait," he said.
Sara shook her head. "You can listen, but I can't," she said.
Gil turned back to the group. "Go on," he said.
Catherine continued. "The man who confessed was named Ernie Dell. He emailed you his confession and who saw him blow his brains out. After that, we thought we had the case gift wrapped for us. You went on sabbatical and we went on with life. When you came back you had an anonymous package from the miniature killer, also known as Natalie Davis ," Catherine paused. "It was personal for Natalie because she blamed you for Ernie Dell's death. She went after Sara and ambushed her."
Gil understood now. "What happened to her?"
"She was left for dead," Nick explained. "Natalie trapped her under a car in the middle of nowhere. I can only imagine the fear and claustrophobia. She broke her own arm trying to get lose, but when she did… all she could do was wander. Her adrenaline was rushing and her only instinct was to try to make it back to Vegas. She didn't know she was in Devil's Canyon."
Gil held up his hand. "I don't want to hear anymore," he said.
Catherine nodded. "But she made it," she explained. "That's when you made your relationship with her public. I think you both realized that life doesn't last forever. When you held Warrick as he was dying, that's when I think you really gave up your job. It's just too much sometime's; People need to live."
"I need to go to her," Gil said. "I'll be back."
Outside it was cold and Sara was sitting on the curb. As Catherine was telling her story, Gil could see Sara alone and afraid. It was something that he didn't want to see again. Clumsily he sat down beside her and pulled her into him.
"I'm sorry," he said, pressing a kiss into her hair.
Sara sniffled. "It alright," she whispered. "I know you wanted to know what happened."
"We made it," Gil said to her. "We made it through everything. We can make it through this, no problem."
"I want to tell you what happened after that," Sara said.
Gil nodded. "If you want to," he said.
Sara forged ahead. "I was so lost after that," she said. "I pretended to be alright, but I wasn't. I left everything soon after and I didn't look back. I know I had hurt you because you tried to convince me to come home."
Gil kissed her head. "It's alright," he said. "I know I wouldn't have held it over your head."
"I'm sorry I did that to you," Sara said. "I was so confused and I didn't think you would understand. You left your career for me. I have never done anything like that for you."
Gil shook his head. "That's not true," he said. "You gave me Emily."
Sara whipped her eyes and smiled. "Yeah," she said. "You gave her to me too."