A/N: Here's a late Christmas memo from me. Hope you had a good one. Also, congratulations to MadameGiry25, minerva's-kitten, LillyPheonix, laurashley11, Batwings79 and NoraWalker who shall all receive house points for correctly identifying the Downton reference.

MEMOS

Afternoon.

Albus, where are you? I've been looking for you for hours.

Didn't try too hard, did you?

Well, I tried 'Accio', but it doesn't work on heavy loads.

Claws away, kitty, it's Christmas.

You still have not answered my question.

Well, it's the oddest story.

Perhaps you can tell it without the preamble?

Preamble is my forte, dear.

Trust me, I know.

I shall ignore that remark and continue with my tale of woe.

Sometimes I could swear that inside you there is an angsty teenager waiting to burst out.

I was carrying forth my usual early morning routine of cheerfully and harmlessly –

Harmlessly? You?

- walking through the school, checking that the festive decorations are all in order -

Don't you trust Filius and me?

- When I came across a rather enticing blueberry muffin just floating there. You are aware, of course, that blueberry happens to be my favourite flavour of muffin.

Yes, Albus, I am aware.

Therefore you know it would be impossible for me to resist such temptation when it is set out before my very eyes.

Yes.

So I took it. I woke up ten minutes ago in a broom cupboard on the fifth floor wearing a clown costume and sporting bright pink fingernails.

Why didn't you take a picture of it, Albus?

Trust you to mock me at a time like this.

It's my prerogative.

You may mock me but I think I can name the person who committed this terrible deed.

Albus, if this is another one of your crackpot theories…

I have never had a "crackpot" theory in my life… just wrong ones. Anyway, I put it to you that the culprit was none other than your good self.

What?

You knew I liked blueberry, you know my early morning routines and you know that I'm deathly afraid of clowns.

And so does every other member of staff!

Oh… well…

You come to meetings every week telling us about your early morning escapades while munching in a blueberry muffin. Then you forget about the boggart in the cloak cupboard and you have to face the same orange-haired buffoon that you do every week.

I… uh… hadn't thought of that…

You are not Sherlock Holmes, Albus!

Who?

Just go down to the Great Hall and get some dinner, will you?

Good idea. And I apologise for, you know, blaming you.

I forgive you. But I'm banning you from those Agatha Christie books for a fortnight!

*Two Minutes Later*

Severus, we got him.

I knew it.

A/N again: To all those of you who have left me with a memo request, I shall begin working on them as soon as I have figured out just what spare time is.