Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Big Time Rush. If I did, the full version of "Shot in the Dark" would have been put on YouTube long before now, and it would have been officially released.

Guest: I'm glad you didn't go caps locks on me! And I'm glad you still love this story :) Anyway, thank you so very much for reviewing, I really appreciate it.

Guest#2: Yay! Thank you so much! And I'm happy you liked the Shane/Kyle scene. Thank you for reviewing!

Guest#3: I'm sorry you had to wait for this chapter. But I hope you'll still like it. Thank you very much for reviewing :)

THANK YOU SO, SO, SO, SOOOOO MUCH to everyone who is reading this story, has reviewed, favorited, or followed it. And thank you so much to everyone who's still loyal to this story, even through all the Jatie angst. I love you guys so much and I can't even begin to let you guys know how grateful I am.

So, a couple of chapters ago, this story topped 200 reviews! So thank you for that as well! Also, who else is freaking excited that "Shot in the Dark" is on YouTube now? I really hope this means that it'll be on Big Time Rush's third album!

Okay, so I actually rewrote most of this chapter, because the original one was totally wrong. Some of you will probably think that this chapter is totally wrong for the story, and I won't blame you. But once again, there's a reason for all the Jatie angst. Also, Katie's stubborn. So blame it on her, kay?

I'm going to stop talking now, though I will say an early Happy Birthday to Dana2184! She's been with this story from the very beginning, and is so sweet and supportive, even when she cusses me out for continuous Jatie sexual frustration and angst ;)

Anyway, enjoy the chapter :)

Chapter Seventeen: Regrets and Relationships

Katie's POV

I was pretty bored and lonely after Kyle left our hotel room. I tried to focus on TV, but I couldn't stop thinking about James. If I hadn't rejected him earlier, he would have been here with me. It didn't matter if we weren't making out or anything. We could have been playing a game or watching some lame reality show, but I don't think I would have cared. It was just simply the fact that we were together and could entertain each other. We could make fun of the reality show, or the stupid comedy, or whatever it was that was on TV, and we would have had a blast together.

I had messed up so badly.

It was almost nine when I heard voices out in the hall – a girl's voice, and…James' voice? What the hell? Furrowing my brow, I got to my feet from where I had been sitting on my bed, and padded to the door, just as the talking stopped. I curiously opened the door, and let out a pain stricken noise as I tried to take in what I was seeing: James kissing some random girl in the middle of the hallway.

I felt like stomach had reached into my body and was trying to yank out all of my vital organs, while simultaneously taking a sledgehammer to my heart.

James had the girl wedged between his body and the wall, and her hand was at the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It was like watching a train wreck…All I wanted to do was look away, to slam the door shut and lock it and stay in my hotel room for the rest of my life, never having to face anyone ever again. But then, he pulled away from her and they stared each other, and I couldn't help but remember all the times he had locked eyes with me. Unbidden, a small, sad squeak passed through my lips, and James and the slut both turned around to find me watching them, completely horrorstruck.

James opened his mouth – the mouth that was now covered in some kind of sparkly lip gloss. "Katie…"

But I just choked out a sob and retreated back into my room, slamming the door shut and locking it.

I leaned against the door, tears streaming down my face as I covered my mouth with my hand, doing my very best to muffle my body-racking sobs.

I had recognized the girl. Her name was Lauren Winters, and her best friend, Misty Lyons, had run against me for homecoming queen the year before. I may have spread some rumors about Misty, but it wasn't like she wasn't doing the same thing with me. I heard some very interesting things about me during our campaigns.

So yeah, maybe neither of us were angels, but we had done what it had taken to win. And Lauren and Misty just hated me because I had ended up kicking Misty's ass. And now every time I'd pass one of them in the hall, they'd just glare at me, which I'd usually answer by blowing a kiss at them, followed by a simple smirk.

But now Lauren had James. Or…kind of had him…? Or…something…All I knew was that they had kissed. I didn't even know what the hell she was doing here. And besides, James and I had just finished whatever it was earlier that day.

That man whore! He couldn't even have waited twenty-four hours to recover before he went and kissed another girl?

I sighed. Obviously he didn't need twenty-four hours to recover. He was perfectly fine with going out with another girl. A girl who wasn't me. Some slutty, average height blonde with a C-cup chest who was probably throwing herself at him. She was everything I wasn't, and everything I usually didn't want to be. But the fact remained that she had been the one kissing James out in the hall, not me. He had said that he would move on, and he had. Guess I wasn't that difficult to get over.

I'm not sure how long I stayed, leaning against the door. As much as I hate to admit it, there was a huge part of me that really, really wanted James to come after me, to tell me that it was a mistake, that I was the only girl he was interested in.

But he never did.

I finally kicked away from the door and began to get ready for bed. I crawled between the unfamiliar sheets, shivering slightly at the cool, smooth fabric against my skin.

I laid awake for hours and hours, just playing the scene in the hallway out in my mind, the way he had kissed her, pressing her against the wall, the way she pulled him closer to her.

I wasn't an expert on kissing, but I was pretty sure that they had at the very least enjoyed it.

I ground my teeth, setting my jaw. I wondered if she was as good a kisser as me, or if she was even better. Did they have as much chemistry as James and I obviously had? Had she discovered how much he liked it when the girl bit down on his lower lip, tugging hard at it?

I was willing to bet that she was just a rebound, but still. It hurt. It fucking hurt. I had never thought that seeing someone kiss someone else could be so painful, but I felt like I should have been dead and buried by now. I tossed and turned, and finally drifted off to sleep. I never heard Kyle come in, but when I woke up the next morning, he was laying in the other bed, sound asleep.

I sighed and pushed the covers off of me, crawling out of bed. I grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom to do my morning routine. I brushed my teeth and showered, before getting dressed, and heading out into the hall. Apparently they had an ice skating rink here, and I intended to use it as much as I could while I was here.

On my way down to the rink, I passed by the hotel restaurant/dining area. I sneaked a glance in and saw James sitting at a table with Lauren. They looked like they were sharing a huge stack of pancakes, topped with whipped cream and cherries. She was laughing at something he had said, and he was smiling at her. As I watched, he flipped his bangs out of his eyes, and she playfully reached over to smooth out his hair.

I crept into the room, keeping my distance so that they wouldn't see me, going in just far enough to hear her giggle and say, "It's really soft."

"Thanks," he replied. "I know it's vane, but I try to spend some time on my hair in the morning, even though after hockey practice I always have a serious case of helmet hair."

She giggled again. "Well, I bet even with helmet hair you look cute."

Oh, gag me with a fucking spoon. What a fucking flirt.

James flashed her another smile. "Thanks. I can only hope."

"I'm sure you do. You'd look cute no matter what." I watched, completely disgusted, as they leaned in to peck each other's lips.

Well, that was just gross.

I stormed out of the restaurant and to the front desk, where I rented skates and made my way to the ice rink. Once I was there, I plopped down heavily on a bench and undid my shoes, before sliding my skates on. I laced them up and got to my feet, walking over to the opening to the rink. I stepped out onto the ice and immediately relaxed. Now this was where I belonged.

The second my skates hit the ice, I was soaring, more graceful than a swan, more limber than a cat. Damn, I had missed this. I did a spin in midair and landed neatly, before attempting another leap.

My mind turned to our finals in January. They took place the week after we returned to school, which gave us only so much time refresh our memories on everything. And I needed to pass my English final so that I could skate again. Now that James was obviously out of my life, at least for the most part, I could focus on skating and perfecting my routines. At least losing him wouldn't go completely to waste. I wouldn't be as distracted as I had been, and I could give ice skating my all again. I could nail the annual spring competition in northern Minnesota. I could maybe eventually make my way to the winter Olympics in another five years, if I worked hard enough at it. And I was determined to. Nothing, not a boy, not a bitchy coach, not family drama, was going to stop me from getting to the place that I deserved. And if that was the Olympics, then all the better.

And before long, I wouldn't even remember the boy who's heart I had broken, who had broken my heart in turn. Before long, James Diamond would only be a memory, tucked away in the back of my mind.

And I couldn't wait for that day to come.

James Diamond, eat your heart out. And to celebrate my old sense of freedom and independence, I did a triple spin in midair.

James' POV

I was never going to be able to get the expression on Katie's face out of my mind. I had never seen anyone look so sad or hurt or betrayed or…broken.

After she had run back into her room, closing the door with a loud bang, I had quickly apologized to Lauren. She had assured me that it was totally fine, and that she'd see me later, before going into her own hotel room.

I had walked down to Katie's room and stood outside her door for the longest time, trying to figure out what I should say. I had no idea if I needed to apologize to her or tell her that she had no business being upset when she had completely rejected me earlier. I hemmed and hawed between the two, going back and forth between guilt and self-righteousness, but I never knocked on her door.

I didn't see Katie at all the next day. I hung out a little bit with Lauren on Thursday, and was really surprised. She was athletic, having played soccer and baseball since she was ten, and she loved to eat. No worries there about her being anorexic. And it turned out that, because of her brother, she knew quite a bit about hockey. She didn't resent it and she didn't hate me on principle for playing it. In fact, she even asked if it was okay for her to come watch one of my practices when school started back up. Naturally, I was over the moon that a girl was actually interested in watching me play, so I said yes right away. The only thing I was worried about was that she would see me live through one of my spastic moments, and then she wouldn't be interested in me anymore. But I wasn't even all that concerned about it. Katie might have been judgmental enough to ditch me after that, but Lauren wasn't. She seemed to like me for me, and that made a really nice change.

"So, tell me about this girl," Mom said to me on Friday morning. I was getting ready to take Lauren out for her very first – and probably only – snowboarding lesson, and I had called my mom to give her an update on what was happening. "She sounds nice."

"She is. She's kind of the antithesis of Katie. She's about 5'5, has strawberry blonde hair, these beautiful blue eyes, and she's just really nice. She plays soccer and baseball, she watches hockey with her brother, and she wants to come to one of my practices."

"She sounds lovely," I could hear Mom's smile in her voice.

"Doesn't she?"

"She does! I want to meet her when you guys get back. Has Shane met her?"

"He did for, like, two seconds yesterday. But he gave me the double thumbs up behind her back, so I took that to mean that he approved," I laughed. "And Kyle was with Shane, and he was really friendly to her. So I don't think he holds me dating someone else against me."

"Well, he shouldn't," Mom said firmly. "You and Katie were never dating. I don't know what you two were, but you didn't classify yourselves as boyfriend/girlfriend, so it obviously doesn't count."

"It doesn't," I agreed. "And she rejected me, not the other way around."

"Right. Don't get me wrong, I like Katie, I really do, but if she can't commit to you, then she's not worth it. And I'm happy that you found someone else."

"So, you don't think I'm moving on too quickly?" I asked, almost anxiously.

"I think you need to move on at your own pace. But like you said, you and Katie were never actually together, and it only lasted for a few days. So I don't think that's enough time to get too emotionally involved. Granted, you did have feelings for her, but you can have feelings for more than one person at a time. So, I support you, and whatever decision you make."

"Thanks," I said gratefully.

"You're welcome. So, you're taking her out snowboarding?"

"Yep. She wants me to teach her, so I said I would."

"That's sweet. When is she leaving?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. But we were talking about trying to get together when I get back to La Castillo."

"Okay. Well, it sounds like you really like this girl."

I smiled as I pulled out my snow boots. "I do. I really do."

"Good. Well, I'll let you go, Brad just finished making breakfast."

"Brad? He's there?" I fought back the urge to dry heave.

"Yes, he's there. He's keeping me company, since you and Shane are off on vacation."

"Did he spend the night?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes, he did."

"Gross."

"Hey, you asked," she pointed out.

"And I wish I hadn't."

She laughed. "Love you, James."

"Love you too." We hung up and I finished getting ready to hit the slopes with Lauren. Before I could head out, however, Shane walked in.

"Hey," he smiled at me. "Going out with Lauren?"

"Yeah, I'm going to give her a crash course in snowboarding."

"Awesome. Well, I'm going to walk around the resort with Kyle. Have you…um…seen Katie since Wednesday?"

I shook my head. I had told the others that she had seen me kissing Lauren, after filling them in about what was going on, letting them know that whatever Katie and I had had was completely over, and while they weren't thrilled that I had gone out with another girl directly after Katie had rejected me, they weren't too happy with her either.

"Well, damn. Kyle said that she's either been stuck in her room, or at the ice rink, boning up her routines," Shane told me.

"Oh."

He nodded. "Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. She needs to get back in practice since once she passes her English final, she'll be back to spending half of her time skating. Maybe even more than that, since she lost so much time on the ice. That's almost too much time to pass, you know? So she's going to have to work extra hard to catch up."

"Well, she's talented, right? She's a natural?"

"Yeah, just like us. And just like you on the stage."

"Right…"

"Anyway, I'm gonna go shower before I head out to meet Kyle. Have fun with Lauren," Shane smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"I will, thanks. And you have fun with Kyle."

"I definitely will."

I grinned and headed out, down the hall to Lauren's room. I knocked on the door and she opened it, beaming at me. "Hi, James! I'm all ready for our snowboarding lesson."

"Awesome." I took her hand and together we headed to the slopes.

We spent the rest of the day snowboarding. Once it began getting dark, we headed back inside, showered and changed, and met up for dinner.

"So," Lauren said as she folded her napkin neatly over her lap, "is this the part where you tell me how much fun you've had, but that we're only going to be friends?"

I blinked at her. "What're you talking about?"

"You're a really nice guy, but you did just go through a heartbreak. I'd understand if you don't really want to get involved with anyone right now."

"Well, it wasn't a real relationship," I pointed out. "And even though I had feelings for her, there wasn't a ton of emotional involvement."

"Yeah, I'm not sure I really want to hear this," she laughed a little awkwardly. "I mean, I like you. A lot. Actually, I've kind of been staring at you in geometry…But not in a stalker way!" she added quickly. "Just in a huh-he's-kind-of-hot sort of way."

I flipped my bangs out of my eyes. "Really?"

She nodded. "Really. So, what you and Katie did…it's not stuff I want to hear about, I don't want the details."

"Fair enough. But my point was, I'm not all that torn up about it."

"So, does that mean the random girl in your geometry class maybe has a chance?" she looked across the table at me hopefully.

I reached over and took her hand. "It means that the random, gorgeous girl in my geometry class has more than a chance. Go out with me?"

Lauren nodded eagerly, a huge smile spreading across her face. "Definitely. And whatever Katie said or did to you, I won't ever do that."

"That's good to know," I replied, smiling back at her.

After a long dinner and an even longer dessert (chocolate brownie cake and hot chocolate), I walked her up to her hotel room. She turned to face me once she reached the door and smiled at me, stroking her fingers down my face. I leaned into her touch, sighing softly. She didn't touch like Katie, and her fingers were longer and a little thicker, which was to be expected since she was taller. But I couldn't help and feel a pang of nostalgia as I remembered how Katie's hand felt in mine, how her fingers felt as she grazed them down my chest.

Lauren lowered her hand and stood on her tip toes, pressing her lips to mine. I kissed her back, hands going to her hips to stabilize her.

Kissing her still wasn't anything like kissing Katie. There was comfort and gentleness and sweetness in the close-mouthed kiss, innocence in the way our bodies barely even touched, but no passion, no fire. But it would work for the time being. Right now, it was what I needed.

After a few moments, Lauren pulled back, flashed me a smile, and headed into her room.

I stuffed my hands in my jean pockets and made my way back down the hall. As I walked, the door to Katie's and Kyle's room opened, and Katie stepped out. I had never seen her look so…not put together. She was in sweats, a sweatshirt, and UGG boots, her hair thrown up in a messy ponytail. She wasn't wearing a single speck of makeup, and she had shadows under her eyes.

She was the most beautiful thing ever.

Well, crap.

Our eyes locked as she closed the door behind her, standing almost frozen in the hall.

There was a long pause, and then I gave her a small nod. "Hey."

"Hey." She shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets.

"Heading out?" I asked, sounding awkward even to myself.

Katie nodded. "Going down to the ice rink. I'm trying to practice up, so that Sarah doesn't have any reason to bitch me out when I start back up again."

"Makes sense. Have fun with that."

"Thanks." She kicked away from the door, starting down the hall, but I called her back.

"Katie?"

"Yeah?" she spun around.

"If you have any problems with Sarah or anyone…I'm still here for you."

She pursed her lips. "Thanks, James. I appreciate that. But I don't need a hockey head's help."

"Fine," I replied coolly. "Do it all by yourself. Just remember that if it wasn't for me, your birthday would have been pretty shitty."

Her eyes narrowed and her jaw locked, before snarling out a "Go fuck yourself, Diamond" and stomping down the hall. It was kind of amazing how much noise she could make, considering she was 5'1, tops, was ninety pounds wet, and was wearing UGG boots.

"Don't be upset, I'm sure you wouldn't want to fuck a hockey head anyway," I called after her.

"Fucking ass!" she screamed at me as she jabbed fiercely at the elevator button.

"Gee, don't hold back, let it all out, Katie-Bear," I snarked, and she glared furiously at me.

"I really fucking hate you."

"And I really fucking hate you," I spat.

"Have fun with your girlfriend. I'm sure she'll be everything I'm not."

"She already is," I retorted coldly. "She actually likes me and agreed to go out with me."

For a split second, Katie's bravo faltered, and her bottom lip trembled, her eyes widening. But then her stance was defensive, her ferocious expression holding firm. "Then her standards are pretty low."

"Seems like your standards were pretty low a week ago," I snapped back, trying not to show how much her words had stung.

"I did you a favor," she snarled. "You wanted me so I let you have me. But you'll never have me again."

"Hey, that's fine." I raised my hands in the surrender stance. "I don't want you either. You've been nothing but a bitch to me from day one. And nothing's changed, and I guess it never will." And with that, I retreated into my room. It took all of thirty seconds for me to kick and punch every hard surface, but I was still completely livid and wound up by the time I was finished. When Shane walked in, he found me scribbling I HATE KATIE! on every blank page of paper that I'd been able to get my hands on.

"Dude," he said after a long moment of staring at me. "You two are either going to end up killing each other or fucking each other senseless."

"Don't count on it," I growled. "Apparently Lauren has low standards for liking me."

"Katie said that?"

"Fuck yeah she did."

"Well, we all know she's a little bitch. But there's also the fact that if that's true about Lauren, Katie's standards were pretty low recently."

"She said she was doing me a favor."

Shane snorted. "Please. She was hurt and angry and was trying to keep some of her pride and dignity."

"She broke up with me! And we weren't even dating!"

"So?"

"So, she doesn't have any right to be hurt or angry."

"I agree. But that doesn't change the fact that she is."

"Right…"

"Well, if you two ever manage to have a civil conversation, make sure you ask her why exactly she ditched you."

"Whatever." I plopped down on my bed. "She's a bitch. I should have run for the hills the first day I met her."

"Maybe."

"I can't believe I got so involved with her. I'm never getting involved with someone like her ever again," I sighed.

"That's it! Stand up for your beliefs!"

"All it did was create a huge mess."

"And who hates cleaning?"

"Exactly. I'm not cleaning up after her. She's history. Who wants to be with someone like her?"

"You did."

"I was obviously delusional."

"Obviously."

"I'm going to bed now."

"You do that," Shane replied.

The next afternoon, Lauren left with her parents to head back to La Castillo. I ended up hanging out with the guys. We spent the day on the slopes, and once we had showered and changed clothes, we hung out in Kendall's and Carlos' room, chowing down on pizza and watching an Adam Sandler comedy.

"All I can say," Carlos said to me as he reached for a third slice of pepperoni pizza, "is that I'm glad I'm not you. The ice skaters are going to be after your blood when we get back to school."

"Katie's the one who broke up with me," I snapped. "Why am I getting blamed for this?!"

"Uh, because that's what they do?" Kendall snorted. "And you moved on past her pretty quickly, which is just not allowed when dating a figure skater, apparently."

"This is such bullshit," I growled, tearing into a piece of pizza. "She told me she didn't want me, that she didn't have feelings for me, and I told her I was going to move on. And then I do, and I get attacked for it? What the fuck is their problem?"

"They're snobs, James," Kendall said bitterly. "They're snobs and they're bitches."

"Except for Camille," Logan piped up. "Camille's not that bad."

"No, but the other ones are."

"So, does that make me a snob and a bitch?" Kyle wanted to know as he licked a string of cheese from his lips.

We all shook our heads.

"Good," he said firmly, "because I don't like what they're doing. Honestly, I think this whole thing is totally hypocritical, and once I get the chance, I'm going to try to talk some sense into them. I just don't know if it'll work…"

"Well, it's worth a shot, right?" Shane asked. "I mean, they can't be completely unreasonable…"

"Right," Kyle patted his arm. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Just give me an estimate," I said to Kyle. "How screwed am I?"

"From one to ten, one being not screwed at all and ten being totally screwed? I'd say a fifteen."

"Fuck."

So, yeah, not a ton of humor in this chapter. I know the last few chapters have been serious, but I'm hoping to get the lightness back into the story. Hopefully this chapter had a little bit in it. And yeah, James and Katie are at each other's throats again...And then there's the ice skaters...

So, review, okay? I really want to hear what you guys think about what's happening, and your reviews both motivate me to write more, and actually gives me ideas. You guys help to make the chapters and story better, and believe me, without you, this story would be pretty awful, so thank you all, and I love you! Oh, and the review button loves you guys too ;P You help make it feel less lonely. Seriously, you do ;)