Still off the Key of Reason
Chapter 16: Pretty the World
Quinn curled her toes and tensed her muscles periodically to refrain from fidgeting in her seat. She gripped the armrests of her comfortable chair and pictured macaroni penguins and their novel yellow crests and wondered if she'd be able to convince Rachel to visit South America with her to see them in the wild.
Or Australia. Or the Antarctic. Quinn had an endless list.
The chief veterinarian of the Central Park Zoo sat on the other side of the desk, and Quinn smiled at him calmly. He had an intriguing, lofty hairstyle, so picturing him as a macaroni penguin wasn't a huge leap. Quinn had no problem maintaining eye contact.
"You've probably figured out that this whole meeting is just a formality, right Quinn?" Doctor Williams checked, brown eyes sparkling, leaning back in his rolling chair until it squeaked.
"I…didn't want to assume, sir." Quinn replied, smiling hesitantly. Her voice had been steady and her words had been in line for the whole interview.
She was a pro.
Doctor Williams nodded. "I have colleagues at Davis CVM." He informed, eyeing Quinn for her reaction.
Quinn's lips twitched. She liked this man. He was jovial and thoughtful and he didn't waste time on inane conversation. And he had a large picture of himself hugging an anesthetized lion on his wall, so Quinn figured she should look up to him.
"Top two percentile is very impressive." Doctor Williams continued. Quinn flushed and dropped her eyes to his collar. "And you worked here for two years before that picking up elephant poop, Quinn. Our staff knows you; the animals are…distantly familiar with you. So I've consulted with the director and she's given me authority to offer you the position of associate veterinarian."
Quinn dropped her chin to her chest and scrunched up her face and tried so hard to suppress her smile. Some kind of noise made it out of her mouth, so she shook her head around and squeezed the armrests because she felt like she was about to fly away.
Her legs bounced and she was tearing up and, God, she loved this macaroni penguin.
Doctor Williams chuckled heartily. "You can celebrate, you know. Scream, dance, do a backflip. I have surgery in forty minutes so we've got time."
Quinn coughed because her vocal cords seemed non-functional at the moment. She raised her excited, watery hazel eyes to meet Doctor Williams' and rocked sideways in her chair because there was no hope of sitting still now.
The chief just grinned, pleased to have elicited such a reaction.
"I-I'll-I-I-" Quinn coughed again and pressed her hands to her temples, taking a settling breath. "I'll-I'll celebrate properly at home." She managed to get out. "With my wife."
And then her smile overtook her face again because she could just imagine Rachel's reaction. Quinn would buy her jelly beans on the way home. And a strawberry smoothie and flowers bright like the sun.
Doctor Williams nodded easily. He sat forward in his seat again and waited patiently for Quinn to quell her excitement. Quinn was able to sit still again after a minute. She focused on macaroni penguins and listened intently to whatever the chief had to say, hands clasped politely in her lap.
"You're quite the ambitious one, Quinn." He remarked, leaning forward conspiratorially.
Quinn bit her lip. "I have a few aspirations." She conceded humbly. "And…the very best reason to follow through with all of them."
Doctor Williams tilted his head. "So what is this idea I've heard so much about the past few days? A…children's educational program?"
Quinn took a breath and sat forward and held her knees down to keep them from bouncing. "Sort of. It's-it would be an animal education program for people with autism, children and adults." She explained, running her hands over the soft fabric of her skirt. "We could offer guided tours and camps and hands-on interactions with the animals, which I think would be the most important part."
Doctor Williams raised an interested eyebrow.
"Not, you know, the bears." Quinn rushed out, smiling. "All of your mammals are large carnivores and we don't want anybody being eaten."
Quinn scrunched up her face and shook her head as soon as it came out of her mouth.
Doctor Williams laughed loudly. "No, no we don't." He agreed. "That would not be good."
"I thought we could start with penguins." Quinn continued, tugging on the rubber band around her wrist. Her eyes dropped to the chief's desk while she focused on what she was trying to say. "Your Gentoo Penguins." She specified. "People could feed them, pet them, really interact with them. I think it helps when you have-when you can touch something. I would've loved to-to play with penguins as a kid."
And then Quinn could see her backyard at home filled with macaroni penguins, and Rachel milling about with them, and she was so delighted and amused for a second that she missed Doctor Williams' nod.
"And you'd run this program?" he asked, amused.
Quinn stared for a second. "I-yeah, of course." She enthused. "I'd love to. I-I want to create…sort of a network among zoos. It would tie in with this little organization I have called A Bear, A Star, and I'd just…I'd love the opportunity."
Doctor Williams watched her carefully. "Our zoo is pretty small. Your idea is actually plausible."
Quinn found herself stuck on penguins. She wondered if there were any genetically rogue penguins out there as big as Rachel. And where she'd have to go to see them. And if Rachel would like to come with her.
"I think we can look into it." Doctor Williams finished, glancing up at the clock on his office wall.
Quinn nodded absently. And then her eyes drifted back to the chief and she realized they were finished and stood up immediately. She cleared her throat and brushed her skirt down and held out her hand.
"Thank you for your time, Doctor." She said with a quiet smile, a little flushed because she'd pictured this man as a macaroni penguin for almost two hours. "I'm sure it'll be a pleasure working with you soon."
Doctor Williams smiled warmly at her. "I'm glad we'll have somebody like you on our team, Quinn."
And Quinn strode out of the office and out of the veterinary field house and then all the way out of the zoo with her head held high and a wide smile on her face that she was just unable to suppress. She stopped to get jelly beans and flowers and a smoothie for Rachel, but she spilled the smoothie all over her blouse because she was vibrating with excitement.
Like Eeyore, Quinn had never been so glad that she'd left her little corner of the forest.
~ooooooooooo~
Quinn found Rachel in the shower when she got home. She stood in the bathroom doorway petting Barnaby with one hand and watching her wife's silhouette dance to the music coming out of her phone. It was Michael Jackson, and Quinn laughed quietly to herself because it was obvious Rachel was using the shampoo bottle as a microphone.
Barnaby made a sudden lunge forward like he wanted to leap into the tub so Quinn caught his collar and shut the bathroom door in his face.
Time to stop her stalking.
"Hey, little bear." She called out softly, knowing that Rachel startled as easily as a baby bird. Quinn liked to scare her, just a little bit, but then Rachel would spend the rest of the day ruffling Quinn's hair and denying her kisses and that just wasn't worth it.
This time, Rachel just kept dancing with her shampoo bottle. "Hey, baby!" She greeted brightly over the sound of the water and the music.
Quinn smiled. "Raaaachel," she sang, stepping forward and opening the shower curtain just enough for her face to peek through. Her gaze dropped immediately to run over Rachel's soft, smooth, dripping body, but it didn't linger because she was vibrating with so much excitement and she needed to get her news out soon.
Rachel kept dancing, eyebrows raised curiously, smile playing on her lips. "Did your interview go well?" She squeezed out her wet hair and sashayed around to face Quinn.
"You're going to fall on your pretty little butt, baby." Quinn remarked instead of answering. She impulsively pulled open the curtain completely and stepped inside to the dry part of the shower, gripping Rachel's hips. "Let me help you with that."
Rachel laughed loudly. "Why are you covered in ice cream?" she ran her finger along the pink splotch on Quinn's blouse and met her wife's sparkling eyes.
Quinn wished she was covered in ice cream. Showering in ice cream, taking a bath in ice cream. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. She should've gotten ice cream on the way home.
Quinn sighed heavily at that and Rachel splashed water in her face, chuckling when Quinn shook her head around in surprise. "Baby, why are you covered in ice cream?" Rachel repeated, smiling knowingly.
Quinn poked Rachel's belly button. "Can you not differentiate between a smoothie and ice cream?" she shook her head, feigning disappointment. "I thought you were better than that."
"I'm not the one who dumped it down myself like a toddler." Rachel countered easily.
Quinn smiled. "I was excited."
Rachel couldn't seem to stop smiling either, like she knew what was coming. "Why are you excited, bear?"
Quinn rocked back on her heels, trying to find the right words.
"Hold on." Rachel interrupted before Quinn could say anything. She reached out of the shower and dried a hand on her towel before turning off the music on her phone. "Okay, I'm ready."
Quinn swayed back and forth on her toes, aware that her tights were getting soaked and not really sure why she'd stepped into the shower in the first place. She couldn't stop thinking of penguins and ice cream.
"Did-did you know Gentoos are the fastest swimming penguins?" Quinn asked, now completely unable to hold still. Rachel just held Quinn's forearms and watched her with a smile. "And…snow leopards can-they can leap fifty feet when they're chasing prey."
Rachel narrowed her eyes, confusion becoming apparent.
Quinn knew where she was going, and she would get there eventually. "There-there are twelve rings on a red panda's tail and sea lions blow bubbles out-out of their nose to help them hold their breath under water."
Rachel scrunched up her face. "Bear, what are you-"
"Those-those-those are the animals I'll be working with." Quinn stuttered out, tapping her fingers against Rachel's hips. "Doctor Williams said-they-they offered-"
Rachel reached up and tapped her own lips, keeping eye contact with Quinn.
Quinn coughed and laughed and made some kind of noise that she couldn't control. She wondered why in the world she was doing this in the shower, but Rachel was smiling so fondly that Quinn had to pull her into a hug, ignoring the water soaking through her clothes.
"They hired me." Quinn managed to murmur, finding it so much easier to not roll over her words when her face was pressed into Rachel's neck. "As associate veterinarian, they hired me."
Rachel's shriek was louder than ever, but wholly expected, so Quinn wasn't completely deafened.
"Quinn!" Rachel cried, trying to pull backwards but unable to extricate herself from her wife's arms. "Baby!" she screamed again and moved forwards instead, knocking Quinn sideways into the wall and sliding them both down into the tub.
Quinn couldn't stop laughing. Rachel flailed around for a second to shut off the water, and then pounced on Quinn, dripping and grinning and letting out small noises of excitement. She kissed Quinn's cheeks and lips and her hair went in Quinn's mouth, and Quinn just really loved rolling around in soaking wet clothes in a bath tub with her naked wife.
"I knew you would!" Rachel cried. "I'm so proud of you! I have news too!" she ran her hands repeatedly through Quinn's hair, smile splitting her face.
Quinn nodded up at her eagerly. "What is it?" she asked through her laughter, brushing Rachel's hair back and trying to form it into spikes..
Rachel rested her hands on Quinn's shoulders and sat still for a moment. "Tina called." She said with a more subdued, mischievous smile. Quinn's eyes were wide and focused. "They want me for the Hello, Dolly! revival in the fall!"
Now Quinn shrieked. Her voice broke and squeaked halfway through and she sat up and pulled Rachel into her arms and kissed all over her face. Rachel clung to her like a koala, laughing madly when Quinn blew a raspberry on her neck.
Quinn was glad she'd found somebody she could roll around in the bathtub with. Somebody who used shampoo bottles as microphones and laughed and smiled as big as the world.
"I love us." Rachel murmured after a few minutes, halfway in Quinn's lap and clutching at Quinn's neck.
Quinn hummed agreeably. "We're going places."
"Like out of the shower." Rachel said with a smile. She moved to stand up, but Quinn wouldn't release her.
"Not yet." Quinn protested, squeezing tighter around Rachel's waist.
Getting out of the shower would require Rachel to put on some clothes, and Quinn just wasn't ready for that to happen yet.
"We can move to the bed." Rachel suggested with a smirk, cheeks flushed from the warm water and celebration.
Quinn faltered.
"I know you want to, bear." Rachel continued, still pulling on Quinn's arms. "I can see your nostrils flaring."
Quinn puffed out her cheeks. "I'm just having respiratory problems."
Rachel snorted and shook her head. "We'll catch pneumonia if we stay here like this."
Quinn groaned exaggeratedly. She doubted anybody could catch pneumonia in a bathtub, but she slowly moved to stand up because she didn't want Rachel to get cold.
Rachel smiled when Quinn accidentally palmed her butt helping her out of the shower. "I think we need to get some mint chocolate chip ice cream, right?" Rachel suggested knowingly, ruffling a towel over Quinn's head and sending her blonde hair in all directions.
Quinn ducked away and shook her hair out and nodded eagerly. And then she pushed Rachel backwards until they hit the bed because she had something else in mind to have before ice cream.
~oooooooooo~
Quinn was lying on the couch the next evening, running her fingers through George's thick, smoky fur and looking for abnormal growths on his chubby body, when she heard a loud rapping on the door. She didn't even flinch when Santana, Brittany, and Puck sauntered into the living room and dropped down onto various pieces of furniture, but then Rachel came in, followed closely by Lisa, and Quinn shot up in her seat.
George went rocketing off towards the bedroom and Quinn wished she'd held him tighter so she'd have something to do with her hands at the moment.
She hadn't seen Lisa since the wedding. It was like walking on a ledge with her.
"We wanted to come by and celebrate with you guys!" Brittany proclaimed. "You both got jobs and Flappy stopped peeing all over the floor at home, so it's a really good day for us!"
Santana nodded sagely and held up a canvas bag. "We brought booze."
Brittany held up another bag, slightly larger and with an open top. "And Flappy."
Quinn still hadn't greeted her aunt, but this distracted her. Another animal in her apartment. It was delightful.
"Brittany!" Rachel interjected, still standing slightly awkwardly next to Lisa. "We have four dogs and three cats who'd love to terrorize him! You can't bring him here!"
Quinn held up her hand to her wife. "Only three dogs, baby." She corrected quietly. "I don't think Charizard would terrorize him."
Rachel stared at her. Brittany nodded wisely.
"Hello, Quinn." Lisa greeted nicely, hands clasped in front of her.
She looked far more relaxed than she had six years ago. Her blonde hair was looser and graying a little bit, and her face wasn't so strained, like elastic stretched further than it could go. It looked softer, and Quinn smiled when she remembered that Rachel had said Lisa had a voice like a blender.
Her voice was quiet now. Low, but not rumbly and threatening.
Quinn stood up and moved forward to give her a light hug. "Hi, Aunt Lisa." She murmured, catching Rachel's eye over her aunt's shoulder.
Rachel smiled at her and then disappeared into the kitchen for glasses.
"I drove up to congratulate you in person and ran into these guys in the street." Lisa explained, pulling back from Quinn and gesturing to the other people in the living room.
"Just enough people for a party!" Puck proclaimed, winking at Rachel when she returned with glasses.
Cornelius came trotting out of the bedroom, tail wagging, took one look at Flappy and took off like a rocket in his direction. Rachel rolled her eyes as they vanished into the hallway, a squawking, barking mess.
Quinn sat back on the couch and gestured for Rachel to sit next to her, and Lisa settled into a free armchair, looking only mildly uncomfortable when Butter jumped into her lap. Puck stretched out on the floor with a rope toy and Cloud bounced over to play tug o' war.
Rachel nudged Quinn's knee. "Wine, bear?" she asked, holding up the bottle and an empty glass.
Quinn faltered. She was always overthinking things around her aunt. Was she speaking loud enough? Clear enough? Making enough eye contact? She scrunched up her nose.
"This is a celebration, Sunny Delight." Santana enthused, catching Quinn's eye. "You have to drink something stronger than chocolate milk. It's required."
Quinn nodded and thought of macaroni penguins when Rachel handed her the glass of strawberry wine.
"Quinn, can I-can I just say something really quickly?" Lisa asked loudly, staring straight at her niece. "Before we all…relax, and- I don't know- your friend Brittany mentioned games."
Quinn's gaze went straight to Brittany, who was leaning out of the loveseat and peering towards the bedrooms, probably to see if her duck was still alive. Quinn knew Cornelius wouldn't hurt it. He'd just trap it and taunt it until it played with him.
Like Quinn did with Rachel.
She wondered what games Brittany was talking about, and then Rachel knocked sideways into her shoulder and she focused again.
"Of course." Quinn said to her aunt, nodding agreeably.
Rachel slipped a hand behind Quinn's back and rubbed discreetly.
"When I adopted you, you were only eleven, and you hadn't eaten in three days because you'd run away to Coney Island." Lisa said slowly, eyes on Butter's face. Quinn could see the surprise in her friends' eyes. "And then you wouldn't say anything at all to me for at least two weeks. You stayed in your room and read your books and the only sound that came out of your mouth was when you talked to Apple next door."
Quinn's lips twitched at the mention of Apple. Rachel smiled.
"You would talk to that scruffy little terrier instead of people." Lisa continued, meeting Quinn's gaze. "Instead of therapists and instead of me and other children. And I didn't understand why, and I went about everything in the worst way possible, and I'm sorry for that."
Quinn swallowed. She remembered Apple's warm brown eyes had been easier to talk to than any of the people she'd known at the time. Rachel squeezed her thigh.
Puck playfully draped a blanket over Charizard's face to muffle his loud breathing.
"And then I met Rachel," Lisa gestured at Rachel and Quinn tipped sideways to kiss her wife's cheek. "and I still wasn't understanding what you were doing or why you were doing it, but then you talked to me about paying for school, and I'm truly sorry that I said I wouldn't pay if you didn't major in pre-vet."
Santana laughed from the loveseat. "Looks like it worked out though, huh." Brittany elbowed her in the ribs and Santana huffed and went quiet again.
Lisa smiled. "And now that you've graduated, and you're a vet, I don't know how I didn't see that that's where you were headed all along. You know where you're going and exactly what you're doing, and you just get there in a different way than most people."
Quinn's mind went straight to Benjamin Bunny. She didn't know why, but that's where she found herself, and she shifted in her seat while Rachel rubbed her back and sipped her wine.
"You know…Beatrix Potter was rejected so many times that she had to self-publish Peter Rabbit." Quinn stated, to nobody in particular. She let Rachel start playing with her fingers. "But I'm glad she did, even if nobody-nobody supported her at the time. If she'd given up, we wouldn't have known Peter Rabbit and that would've been awful."
The room was silent. Quinn shook her head around because what in the world was she talking about?
And then Puck spoke. "Sometimes you have to do it yourself until everybody around you sees that you were right all along." He played with Char's front legs, sticking them in the air like the dog was dancing.
Santana stared into her wine glass and then looked at Brittany in confusion. "Am I drunk already? What's going on here?"
Brittany patted her thigh. "They're talking about bunnies, hon."
Quinn nodded. "Rachel's my Peter Rabbit."
Quinn faltered at the confusion on everybody's faces. Santana looked like she suspected she'd been poisoned. Drugged by the wine. Rachel was the only one who didn't look puzzled. She rested her head on Quinn's shoulder and played with Quinn's fingers while she waited for her wife to explain.
"Beatrix Potter kept doing what she was doing, not giving up, because of Peter Rabbit. She-she knew she had something good, so she wouldn't rest until the rest of the world could see it." Quinn explained. She kissed Rachel's head and flushed, blonde hair dropping into her eyes. "Rachel's my…Peter Rabbit."
Rachel awwed and smiled up at Quinn.
Quinn grinned at her. "And my little bear."
"Did you put something in my drink?" Santana asked loudly, drawing everybody's attention. "Because I'm lost and this is sickening."
"Thank you." Quinn said abruptly, looking at Lisa again. "I-I accept your apologies."
Lisa clasped her hands together and smiled softly. "I also wanted to tell you that the Children's Home is closing in three weeks. They ran out of funding and they're moving the kids out soon."
Cornelius came trotting out of the bedroom with a white feather on his face and Brittany shot up out of her seat to make sure her duck hadn't been killed.
Quinn wasn't fond of where she'd grown up, but it had been food and shelter for a girl who'd lost her parents, so she was thankful at least. She frowned at the news and pictured the large blue bunk bed room where she'd lived for seven years.
She remembered drawing pictures in crayon on the walls because paper was in short supply. There was always a giraffe watching her sleep.
"Do…do you think I'd be allowed to visit?" Quinn asked Lisa quietly. "Before they shut it down, I mean. Could Rachel and I go visit?"
Rachel looked pleasantly surprised at the suggestion. Quinn squeezed her hand.
"I'm sure you could." Lisa replied. "They probably remember you."
Santana raised her glass. "Sunny's a hard one to forget." She proclaimed.
Quinn wondered if she was drunk already. She knew Rachel was feeling the effects of the wine a little bit because she chuckled every time she tried to bend Quinn's fingers the wrong way.
"It would be nice to…say goodbye." Quinn mused softly.
Brittany came skipping back into the room with an intact Flappy in her arms, and she flicked on the iPod dock while she passed it. She pulled Santana up to dance with her while Puck made a toast to himself, and then to Charizard, and then to Quinn and Rachel.
Quinn slumped down in the couch and pulled Rachel closer and watched Lisa as she got to know Cloud. Cloud threw the upper half of his body over her and Quinn laughed.
"When do you want to visit that place?" Rachel murmured, chuckling when she bent one of Quinn's fingers until it cracked. Quinn gave Rachel a pillow to hold onto instead and shrugged.
"Before we get super busy, I guess." She stated, and then chuckled at her friends' dancing. "I think San's going to put a hole in our wall."
"I'd like to see where you grew up." Rachel remarked. "And I want more baby pictures of you and some of your parents. We can put them all over the house."
Quinn hummed vaguely. She remembered having to convince Rachel to not put a poster-size picture of her toddler face in the entryway. This would probably be a repeat of that.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Rachel pressed, pushing her face into Quinn's shoulder. Quinn caught Lisa's eye and smiled at her wife's antics. "We have loads of me, but we need more of you."
Quinn hummed again, eyes sparkling. She did not want to commit to this right now.
"I think George and Barnaby are arthritic." She said instead, tilting her head so it rested on Rachel's and eyeing the big, smoky cat.
Rachel sighed like she'd been expecting that. "Me too." She agreed sagely.
Quinn chuckled.
"I have arthritis too." Rachel clarified. "I'm pretty sure. All my bones pop when I move."
Quinn kicked out a leg in an attempt to trip Puck as he tried to dance by the coffee table. "Your little body is just naturally loud, baby." She assured Rachel.
Rachel scrunched up her face. "What can you do for Barnaby and George? Get them hip replacements?"
Quinn laughed loudly and wrapped both arms around Rachel and squeezed her tight because this person was just perfect for her.
"I can give them vitamins…non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drugs, joint fluid modifiers…" Quinn listed, pondering which one to start with, amused at Rachel's expression.
Rachel nodded. "I agree. You should give them those. Those sound like good things."
Santana danced her way over to the couch with Brittany on her arm and kneeled down in front of Rachel, looking up at her seriously. She planted both hands on Rachel's knees and squeezed.
"Congratulations, Dolly." she drawled, and then climbed up Brittany's side to stand again. "New York has missed you."
Rachel laughed as Santana retreated. "I think she's a little drunk." she whispered to Quinn.
Quinn tapped Rachel's cheek because Rachel's head had drooped and it looked like she was whispering to Quinn's boobs.
"Rachel," Lisa called out from her chair, forced to remain seated because of Cloud. "I just want to say I'd love to come to your show when it opens and I'm proud of you as well."
Rachel smiled at her, because Rachel smiled at everybody and handed out endless second chances. "We'd love to have you, Lisa." She assured genuinely.
And then Quinn determined that it was time to dance, so she unwrapped Rachel from her bear hug and took her hand instead.
"Dance with me, little bear?" she asked, standing up gracefully and raising an eyebrow at her wife.
Rachel took her hand and allowed Quinn to pull her to her feet, giving Quinn an "I told you so" look when her joints popped loudly. Quinn grimaced exaggeratedly and Rachel laughed, and then Rachel ruffled Quinn's hair, and Quinn saw macaroni penguins again.
And mint chocolate chip ice cream, and her arthritic animals, and the people she loved dancing around her living room.