Dean didn't know what to expect when he got to S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters. Part of him worried he would end up in a cell, considering how long he spent on the FBI's Most Wanted list, but instead, he and the rest of the group was taken to a conference room and presented with paperwork and a cup of coffee.

Black Widow-Natasha-was very meticulous with the details. Bucky kept it short and simple, using very precise handwriting. Logan scribbled a few sentences in sloppy cursive. And Wade drew a short comic strip describing the events, then left the conference room without saying anything.

Dean just stared at the papers for a few minutes before asking, "Is this really necessary? I don't even work for S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Neither do I," Logan said with a grimace. He pulled a fresh cigar out of his silver case, and commenced to chewing on it. "Actually, bub, I've been meaning to ask you something."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"What's the deal with you and Wade?" He leaned over the table, eyeing him menacingly.

"He's my friend," Dean answered with a shrug. "Guess you could say we have mutual interests."

"Uh huh." Logan cocked his head to the side. "I looked up your file...According to official records, you're dead. Been dead several times. First, after killing a dude in St. Louis. Then a few years back, you and your brother went on some kind of cross country killing spree."

"Those were actually Leviathans that duplicated us," Dean clarified.

Logan's eyes narrowed. "Uh huh."

"We've all been there," Natasha said with the barest hint of a smile. "Logan just doesn't like people messing with his boyfriend."

The glare Logan sent to the end of the table could have melted the polar ice caps. Natasha just raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow, and returned her attention to Dean, saying, "If you're done with that, give it to Agent Willis at the desk by the elevator."

Dean nodded and got up from his seat. Logan stopped him by the door, handing him a card emblazoned with an A-logo, with an address for Stark Tower. "What's this?"

"Be there tomorrow morning, 8am." Logan didn't wait for further questions, just strode away.

Natasha stacked her papers neatly, and said, "Welcome to the family."

"Huh?" Dean asked, looking the card over.

Wade appeared at the door, and asked, "You done?"

Dean nodded, still looking at the card. "Yeah. I guess. Never been debriefed before."

"Poor man," Natasha said with no hint of humor as she drifted by.

Dean ignored the remark, and followed Wade down the hall to the elevators. A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was operating as doorman, keying in the code that operated the lift, and the three began the descent to the street. It was a long ride.

Dean was quiet for a moment, before asking, "Do you know where Stark Towers is?"

"Kinda just down the road from here," Wade said, looking at the card. "Why?"

"Logan said for us to be there tomorrow at 8am." Dean handed Wade the card.

Wade hummed a note. "Interesting. This will be the first time I've entered through the front door."

After a couple minutes of silence, Dean leaned to Wade and asked, "Where are we going?"

"My place," Wade answered, his voice a little husky.

A little chill swept over Dean, the kind that made him turn strangely warm after. "Awesome. I didn't know you had a place in New York."

Wade shrugged. "It's just where I store all my explosives." He hesitated a moment before saying, "If you like, you can stay with me while we're in town. A home away from home. Instead of a hotel, I mean. It's not the most comfortable place in the world, but…"

"Of course," Dean interrupted the merc's nervous rambling. "You're the only one I know in this town."

Wade raised an eyebrow. Even through the mask, Dean could see the mischief in his eyes as he asked, "That the only reason you want to stay with me, Chester?"

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agent shifted uncomfortably.

Dean's face heated up. "Told you before, I'm not really into dudes."

"I'm not so sure," Wade said with a smirk. "You seemed pretty into dudes the other day in the Impala."

"I, uh… Okay, that happened. But I'm…" Dean swallowed hard.

Wade leaned to Dean's ear and whispered in a voice reserved only for sex lines, "I'll be gentle with you, baby. Don't worry."

Dean was having a very hard time producing words, instead stuttering out, "I… um… you… I…"

Wade chuckled, and said, "You're so damn cute when you're flustered."

Finally, the doors opened on the ground floor, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent breathed a sigh of relief as Deadpool and Dean left the elevator.

Outside, the streets were busy. Dean felt slightly lost in all the commotion, but then Wade took him by the arm and led him down the sidewalk. A few minutes later, they were in a taxi making their way through the city. Wade gave Dean his "I Died There Once" tour, pointing out buildings and alleys where he'd fought all manner of creatures and villains.

The rode to an industrial area, where there were several warehouses and abandoned factories. Wade had the cabby stop at a random street corner, paid him his fare, and they continued on foot for a few blocks.

Wade took a turn down one of the alleys, walking to a door near the back of an old warehouse with most of the windows broken out. The door, much to Dean's surprise, was unlocked. Inside, the building was in ruins. Broken crates and pallets littered the floor and severed electric cable hung from the ceiling. Their destination was an area that was once the offices for the factory, but now served as Wade's living quarters. This door was locked.

The room they entered was full of padlocked crates and ammo boxes. Lots of ammo boxes. Some were stacked up and topped with a piece of plywood to make a table. Others were topped with pillows for chairs. The only real piece of furniture was a large recliner in front of an old TV, which was surrounded by food wrappers and empty pizza boxes.

Wade walked through, shuffling debris out of the way. "Looks like the maid hasn't been here. Damn slacker." He made a quick turn, and said, "I can order a pizza or something, you can call your brother…"

"How about a shower?" Dean said.

"Shower sounds like a great idea," Wade said with a smirk.

Dean shook his head, and said with a laugh, "I meant alone."

Wade wagged his finger in Dean's face, and said, "Get your head outta the gutter, Chester. It's multi-stall. You know, like gym class. There's probably some clean clothes in my closet, if you'd like to get out of the jungle funk."

The thought of wearing Wade's clothes made Dean's face heat up. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

Wade headed to the hall, motioning for Dean to follow him to the bedroom. The bed was a stack of mattresses on the floor with a couple milk crates making a bedside table, topped with only a blanket and two old and crushed lookin pillows. The closet was full of Deadpool uniforms, some with a few modifications. In the back corner was a rubbermaid container full of unopened packages of -shirts, pants, socks, and underwear.

"You must not like laundry," Dean said as he grabbed a package of each item.

Wade shrugged. "Most of my stuff dies a bloody, horrible death. So I figure, better to have everything handy. It's so awkward to go to Walmart when you're bleeding from the head."

"Oddly enough, I know what you mean."

"That's why I love you, Chester," Wade said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Dean didn't linger on that statement too much, following Wade to the shower room. There were six stalls, but only two actually had faucets and they were side by side. Only one of them had a curtain.

Much to Dean's shock, Wade started to undress without regard for others present. Dean turned his back and swallowed hard, trying to not think about the toned muscles of the merc's chest and torso, or the heat the man was packing between his legs. It was not something he wanted to think about. Nor did he want to think about just how long he had watched the man undress before deciding to turn.

Then he heard the squeak of the water coming on, and Wade started humming as the scent of flowers filled the air. And of course he chose the one without a curtain, because Wade, despite being so sensitive about his face, is somewhat of an exhibitionist about his body.

Again, Dean couldn't blame him. Even his ass was muscular, and Dean mentally kicked himself when he realized that he was again staring. He went into the curtained stall and shucked off his clothes and started the water. He did his best to not think about Wade lathering up a couple feet away, or how his mind kept picturing the merc's hands roaming over his body. And sweet lord, why was he still thinking about his ass?

And then there was the fact that suddenly Dean was rock hard, and despite the cover of the curtain, he was in the middle of an existential crisis.

It did not help one little bit when Wade's humming turned into singing "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show", which Dean had never considered a sexy song. At least until he heard Wade's deep tenor voice matched with the words.

"Hoooot August night, and the leaves hanging down, and the grass on the ground smellin...sweet."

Dean focused really, really hard on using the bar of soap. It was taking a tremendous amount of effort to keep his hands on task and not touching his now throbbing cock. And if this wasn't the oddest scenario he could ever imagine, he didn't know what was.

Then there was the sort of breathy sounds coming from the other stall, and Dean could easily imagine that Wade had a handful of his manhood, stroking in time to the beat of the song in his head. And yup, that image was right there in Dean's brain, too real and too much, and he suddenly wanted to be far away from the merc and the sound of his voice and all that gorgeously scarred skin that he wanted to sink his teeth into…

"Fuck…" Dean whispered as he took his cock in hand, giving it a few rough strokes. Wade kept singing and Dean could feel his balls tightening as the merc belted out the chorus. His orgasm hit like a punch in the gut, and he let out a strangled sound as he spurted against the tile wall.

Wade stopped singing. "You okay, Chester?"

Dean bit his lip and cleared his throat before answering, "I'm fine." And damn did his voice sound wrecked. It took him a minute to come back to his senses, and by then he realized that Wade was out of the shower.

"I'm gonna order a pizza. See ya in the livingroom," Wade said as he walked away, seemingly oblivious to Dean's bath-time activities.

Dean turned the water over to cold.