When I came back to my senses, a doctor was standing next to my bed, observing me intently. Next to him was a nurse holding a clipboard full of papers.

"Ah, Mr. Hudson, how are you feeling this morning?"

"DOCTOR!" I sat straight with a bit of an effort, "my hand…my right hand is missing!"

The doctor looked slightly remorseful and avoided my gaze, choosing to inspect the headboard of the bed instead. I didn't know what was so interesting about it, but I was not a doctor.

"Well, yes, we had to surgically remove it. It was the only way. We're really sorry, but it was a life-threatening situation."

I felt my heart sank. I dropped myself on the bed, my energy drained.

"But…but why? We only did it once…it was our first time," I said. My mind was still trying to deny the gravity of the situation, trying to distance myself from the reality. It just could not be real. Not for me. It was something that happened to other people, stupid teenagers I read about in the news. Not me.

My eyes felt hot and wet from unshed tears.

"Nasal stimulation is a very risky act that carries with it the possibility of such accidents, regardless of the frequency. Some people do it daily for years without contracting anything, while others…are not so lucky," explained the doctor.

"What will…what will happen to me now?"

"Thankfully we have excellent choices for young people like you, Mr. Hudson – reliable and affordable prosthetics options. We will discuss it with your parents, but that can wait until your recovery."

When the doctor mentioned my parents, guilt washed over me. How did my mother react to the news? I wanted, I needed to see her and apologize.

"Where's my Mom?"

"She's downstairs, taking care of the administration. She told me to tell you not to worry," said the nurse.

She smiled unpleasantly and giggled, "I wonder how she will pay for it. A surgery like that was not cheap, you know? Maybe she will have to become a stripper."

"Hey!" I frowned. That was unnecessary.

"Oh, sorry," she did not sound apologetic at all. She put out her tongue like an unruly child.

"Would you like to see Ms. Berry?" asked the doctor, oblivious to the nurse's bullying.

"Of course!" I answered nearly instinctively, "how is she? Is she okay?"

"She's well. We'll leave you for now," said the doctor as he left with the mean nurse.

"Oh, but before that…" he stopped just before exiting the room. He approached the head of the bed I was in and began to remove the headboard he was looking at. "I think this is a really nice headboard. You wouldn't mind, would you? My son would love it."

"Go ahead."

The doctor left, carrying my headboard with him. I was left alone once again. But before long, I heard the door open. It was Rachel, clad in hospital gown, and with a big object hanging from her right nostril – my hand.

My jaw dropped. Rachel, however, was smiling despite that my dangling, disembodied hand swayed as he walked towards me. She put her hand tenderly on my forehead.

"How are you feeling?"

"Wha…what…why is my hand dangling from your nose?"

"Oh, this?" she giggled, "the doctor said it would be too dangerous to detach it, so we agreed to leave it in my nose for now. But…I actually want leave it inside me…permanently. That way, we can always be connected."

Despite her smile, her eyes glazed as she looked at me.

"But of course, if you don't want to…the doctor said he can remove it once I get better."

Suddenly, my heart felt like lead as it sunk. I had been so selfish. I was ashamed by my childish whining. I could learn to write with my left hand. But having Rachel and I eternally collected, it was priceless.

"No, of course you can keep it." I said.

"Oh, Finn. Thank you. This means a lot to me."

"This means a lot to me too," I smiled and brushed her hair with my fingers, "you look so beautiful.."

"Yeah, your hand goes well with my complexion."

We laughed. All my worry went away, and even my body felt less stiff. I felt rejuvenated.

Rachel put her hand on my chest.

"I'm glad you look healthy."

"Mm, you look good too."

Rachel lowered her head and kissed me. The sensation of her lips on mine made my heart beat faster. Both Rachel and I got into it, kissing again and again with youthful vigor. I enjoyed her smell, her touch, the way her hair softly tickled the side of my face.

After about a dozen kisses – which left my face wet and dripping with a mixture of Rachel's saliva and mine – we stopped.

"Oh Finn, I want to do more with you."

"Me too, Rachel. I want it more than the world. But you know we can't do it here and not with me like this."

"Yeah, I guess," Rachel agreed, "maybe…you know, I can do it with the doctor instead?"

"Uhh, let me think."

I did not want Rachel to mess around with the doctor, to have another man's skin upon her. But I also didn't want her to feel down and unfulfilled because of me. I had enough of being selfish.

"Of course," I forced a smile, "just until I get better ,okay?"

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Rachel planted a few more kisses, "you are the best boyfriend anyone could ever have,"

"And you are the best girlfriend,"

Rachel frolicked out of the room, leaving me alone once again. I wept in silence.s