MEMOS

Albus, there are flowers on my desk.

I know.

Are they for me?

No. I kidnapped them and need you to look after them until I can find someone to buy them on the black market.

I was unaware that there was an illegal flower trade.

Yes. It's booming. Ask Filius.

That is our go-to solution for anything really, isn't it?

Yes. He's about the only one in this school with some level of sanity.

Merlin knows that's true.

Did I hear my name?

Evening, Filius.

Good evening, Minerva. What's all this about sanity? I didn't know there was any left in this place.

Actually, while we're here, we needed to ask you about the illegal flower trade.

I thought you were being sarcastic?

Minerva, you have been telling me for years that sarcasm is not a strong point of mine, why would I suddenly be trying it again?

Well, I don't know! You're always doing things you're not good at. Last night, for example –

Have I walked in on a domestic here?

What are you talking about, Filius?

I DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE!

I AM MARRIED, FILIUS, YOU DIRTY OLD COOT!

Give it up, Minerva, he's found us out.

You are not helping, Albus!

What use is lying anymore? Voldemort's been gone for over a year now, we don't need to protect the children anymore!

Children? Merlin's beard.

If you are referring to my daughter, I'll have you know that she is not yours!

You mean… you've been cheating on me?

ALBUS! Will you shut up? Filius, I am not – and never have been – in a relationship with Albus Dumbledore, do I make myself clear?

Perfectly.

Alright. I'm off to bed.

You're in denial, Minerva.

Shut up, Albus.

She is.

…

You owe me now, Dumbledore.

I know.

Minerva is going to kill me tomorrow.

It was worth it to annoy her, though.

A/N: I'm working on the requests you've left me – if you left one ages ago and I still haven't done it, drop me a message and I'll take it as a mental kick up the backside to get it done in the next week or so. Meanwhile, I'll self-promote my very first Hunger Games fic, which is on my profile if you desire to read it. Thanks for being such awesome readers, guys. I really do appreciate all of your wonderful reviews and favouriting or alerting; it means a great deal to me.