A/N – This is short one shot I wrote after the episode where Santana said she wasn't worth it. Thought I'd share with you.
I don't own any of the Glee characters. This is written for entertainment purposes only.
Santana walked into the apartment, threw her keys on the table by the door, walked over to the couch, and sat down dropping her bag on the floor. She laid her head back on the couch while closing her eyes and letting out a huge sigh.
After a few minutes something hit Santana on end of the nose causing her jump. She looked down and saw a paper airplane sitting on her lap. A small smile appeared on her face because she knew who made the airplane. She unfolded the airplane because she knew there would be a message written inside because there always was one.
'Come to the bathroom' was written in purple marker on the plane.
Santana got up from the couch and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. The door was half opened so Santana slowly pushed it open the rest of the way. What she saw took her breath away. There were candles lit all around the bathroom.
The candles flickered in the darkness and then she saw her standing there. The flames from the candles spreading a glow over her blonde hair and lighting up her blue eyes. Santana walked into the bathroom and into the embrace of the woman who not long ago she thought she had probably lost forever. The two stood there for a few minutes just enjoying being close to each other.
"Britt, I thought you had to work tonight?" Santana whispered.
"I was supposed but I got someone to cover my last three hours at the store."
"Why? Are you not feeling well or is there something else wrong?" Santana looked into Brittany's eyes with concern.
"I'm fine but I heard from a little birdie that the woman I love said today that she wasn't worth it so I knew where I needed to be tonight." Brittany's warm breath tickled Santana's ear.
"That damn Mercedes never could keep her mouth shut. Once a gossip always a gossip." Santana said with slight annoyance to her voice.
"That's true she and Tina were the biggest gossips in high school but today when Mercedes called me it was because she was concerned about you and what you said. She had never seen you look so defeated and sad. She's used to the confident and self-assured Santana Lopez." Brittany's voice remained soft and just above a whisper.
"She shouldn't have called you and you should've stayed at work. I'm ok."
Brittany knew by Santana's tone of voice she was getting ready to shut her out. Since getting back together a few months ago Brittany hadn't seen this side of Santana but she knew it was bound to make an appearance at some point. The part of Santana who wasn't as self-confident as she let everyone else believe and a part that only Brittany had seen in high school. Santana had grown a lot since high school but there still was that part of her that sometimes felt she wasn't worth it for whatever reason.
"How about you and I get in this hot bubble bath before the water gets cold?"
A hot bubble bath sounded great to Santana so she undressed while Brittany took her robe off. Brittany watched as Santana took her bra and panties off.
"You are so beautiful." Brittany said with an admiring smile as she looked at Santana. Santana immediately covered her breasts with her hands when she realized Brittany was staring at her. "Hey, what's going on with you honey? You've never shied away from me like this. Let's get into the tub."
Brittany got into the tub first and sat with her back leaning again the back of the tub. Santana go in next and sat between Brittany's legs. Brittany let out a little moan when she felt Santana's butt brush against her vagina. Any other time she would've loved to get her sweet lady kisses on with Santana but she knew that tonight Santana needed some different kind of loving.
Brittany put her arms around Santana's stomach and gently kissed her shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes. "Mercedes needs to think about her career and what's best for it. Our duet the other day sounded great but she doesn't need me to sound great. Her producer was right not wanting to take a chance on her and me singing together." Santana voice was quiet and low which let Brittany know she on the verge of crying.
"I know any duet you and Mercedes sing is going to awesome but my concern right now is you and why you said you weren't worth it." Brittany spoke in a soft comforting voice.
"Because I'm not."
"Why do think you're not worth it? I want you to be honest with me San."
Santana was quiet for a few minutes before speaking. "Because I did the one thing I promised I would never do."
Brittany waited for Santana to continue but when she didn't she prompted her to continue. "And what promise do you think you broke?"
"I don't think I broke my promise, I know that I broke my promise, and you know I broke it too."
Brittany had no idea what Santana was talking about so once again she prompted her to continue. "Sweetie, you're going to have to help me out here because I don't know what promise you're talking about."
Santana's shoulders started to shake a little so Brittany knew she was crying. Brittany tightened her arms that were still around Santana's stomach and held her while she whispered in her ear repeatedly, "You're ok just let it out."
When Santana had stopped crying she turned so she could look Brittany in eye. "The promise I broke was to never hurt you and when I broke up with you I broke that promise and because of that I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anyone taking a chance on me."
Brittany was shocked by Santana's admission because they had been back together for six months and Santana had already apologized and admitted that breaking up with her had been a mistake. Brittany had forgiven her.
"San, why didn't you tell me you felt this way sooner? You have no reason to feel that way about yourself. You didn't hurt me on purpose. You were actually doing what you thought was best for me so you were being unselfish. Besides I know you breaking up with me hurt you too. Actually, you aren't the only one who broke a promise. I broke a promise too. I promised you that I would always be there for you no matter what and when you needed me the most I wasn't there."
Santana gave Brittany one of her famous scowls. "When haven't you been there for me Britt? You made that promise when we finally became a couple senior year and I don't remember you ever not being there for me."
It was Brittany's turn to cry and tears ran down her face. "Kurt called me when you broke down during Finn's memorial week. He told me that you needed me there because no one else knew how to comfort you and you seemed so lost. I told him that I couldn't come because I had exams and projects due but that was only partly true. The day he called me to tell me about your breaking down was the last day of my exams. I could've flown to Lima to spend the last two days with you. My parents had already offered to buy me a ticket when I told them about the memorial week." Brittany stopped talking and took a moment to collect her thoughts.
"The thought of you being so broken and lost killed me and I knew I should be there for you because despite everything that happened between us in my heart you were still my best friend and my one true love. The truth was I was afraid to see you again. I was afraid that when I looked into your eyes I wouldn't see what I had always seen before, your love for me. I knew you were seeing someone. I didn't know if your relationship was serious or not but I was afraid it was and that I had been replaced. I know I told you to go to New York and find a girlfriend. When I said that I was so confused about what was going on in my life. My second senior year sucked and I just kept kicking myself for not graduating with you and for ruining our plans. Anyway so I broke a promise too and I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."
Santana stood up and got out of the tub. Brittany's heart broke because she thought for sure Santana was going to leave but to her surprise Santana held out her hand to help Brittany out of the tub. She got towels for both of them to dry off and helped Brittany put her robe on while she wrapped her towel around her body. Santana looked Brittany directly in the eye, "Let's go to our bedroom and talk some more about this."
Santana and Brittany walked down the hallway to their bedroom. When they entered the room Santana changed into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. "Do you want to change or are you comfortable in your robe?" Santana's voice was soft and caring.
"I'm fine." Brittany voice cracked with the emotion she was still feeling from what she had said in the tub.
Santana sat in the middle of the cross legged and Brittany joined her sitting directly across from her. Santana took both of Brittany's hands in hers. "Britt, I did need you the day I broke down but I never once blamed you for not being there. I didn't break down just because Finn was gone. I broke down because being back in the choir room reminded me again of what I had lost in my life. You being what I had lost. Things were so complicated between us then even though we had made sort of fresh start when I came back to Lima before you left for MIT. We promised to keep in touch and we didn't do a very good job of it. It was just so difficult for me to try and go back to being just friends when in my heart all I wanted was for us to be together again. And as for replacing you, that will never happen because there's one woman for me and that's you. You are my everything."
Brittany was looking down staring at how Santana's hands were still hold hers. When she looked up she saw Santana looking at her with concern and love. "I was so happy when we got back together and I know we talked about our breakup but I guess there was more we needed to talk about. San, is there anything else we need to get out in the open?"
"No, there 's nothing else. I really didn't realize how worthless I felt because I hurt you until today. I knew I was mad at myself about it but I didn't realize my feelings were so much deeper. When Mercedes producer said I could be a backup singer I thought that's karma biting me in the ass because I hurt you."
Brittany squeezed Santana's hands. "You are worth all of the happiness that comes your way whether be in your career or in our relationship. Your worth Mercedes fighting her producer to let you two sing a duet. I am going make sure you feel that you're worth it every day even if I have to get it written on a t-shirt."
Santana couldn't help but smile because the look in Brittany's eye was one of adoration. She really believed Santana was worth it. "Britt, there is one promise I can make that I know I'll never break. I promise to love you forever.