Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 6

Peter and Elizabeth were absolutely exhausted. After tucking Neal into bed and making sure he had fallen asleep, they both fell into bed and were asleep within minutes. Unfortunately, they woke up a short time later to the sounds of Neal in the throes of a nightmare. Jumping out of bed, they raced into his room to find him thrashing in his bed, his legs tangled in the bedsheets.

Both Peter and Elizabeth were horrified to hear the sounds coming from Neal. His cries were almost too much for them to bear. Rushing to his side, Elizabeth softly called out his name, as she worked to untangle his legs from the sheet. It took several long seconds before she was able to break through to Neal, his eyes finally flying open and looking around in panic.

"Neal, honey, you're okay. You were just having a bad dream, sweetie. You're okay, now."

"Lizbef?"

"Yes, sweetie, Peter and I are right here." She pulled Neal into her lap and looked at Peter. "Hon, can you go get a glass of water and a cool washcloth? Neal, why don't we get you into some dry pajamas. You worked up a little sweat with that dream."

Elizabeth pulled the flannel top off of Neal, opting to put a t-shirt on him instead. When Peter returned, she took the washcloth and gently washed Neal's face. The poor boy could barely keep his head up, but the second his eyes closed, he jerked them back open, as if he was afraid to go back to sleep.

"Do you want to tell us about the dream you had, buddy?" Peter asked, gently. He gave Neal what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

"I don't remember, Peter. My mind is all blank."

"Well, then, why don't we get you tucked back into bed. I think we could all use some more sleep."

Neal suddenly sat up straight, a look of dread in his eyes. "I'm not sleepy, Lizbef. Can I just go downstairs and watch cartoons? I'll be good, I promise."

"Neal, it's only one o'clock in the morning. You need to sleep." Neal looked as if he were about to cry, but Elizabeth continued. "How about if you lay back down and let Peter read you another story? Will that help?"

Neal agreed to that, but he insisted that Peter climb into the bed with him. Once Peter was settled, Neal snuggled up next to his side and grabbed onto his t-shirt with one hand. His other hand reached up and started twirling one of his own curls. "Okay, Peter….I'm ready."

Elizabeth watched from the door as her exhausted husband did his best to read Neal's story without falling asleep. She loved the way Neal looked up at him, hanging on every word Peter said, as he twisted his hair, rhythmically. Within minutes, Neal's eyes had closed and his breathing deepened. Peter quietly put down the book and attempted to climb out of bed, but at the first sign of movement, Neal started to stir. Looking at his wife, he motioned for her to go on back to bed, as he resigned himself to staying in Neal's bed a little longer. He knew his back and knees would pay the price of having to curl his six foot frame into a child size bed, but it was worth it.

By mid-afternoon, Peter had a new appreciation for what it meant to be bone-tired. Luckily, it was Saturday, and he and Elizabeth had planned on having a carefree, unplanned day to get to know Neal a little better. What Peter learned was that Neal had an endless supply of energy. To say that he had boundless energy was, more than likely, the understatement of the century.

From the moment Neal woke up until the moment he fell asleep, he was constant motion and activity. The only time he stayed even remotely still and quiet was when he was drawing, and needless to say, Peter encouraged that activity as often as he could.

Peter and Elizabeth quickly learned that Neal was incredibly talented for his age. The artwork he produced was way above that of children twice his age and the Burkes agreed that they would have to enroll him in an art class as soon as possible.

Neal was so excited when Elizabeth took one of his drawings and placed it on the refrigerator door, just like his mother used to do. By the end of their first weekend together, the refrigerator door was filled with his drawings and he showed no signs of stopping.

For the most part, Neal was a fairly well-behaved child, a fact that the Burkes were thankful for. In their zest to bring Neal home with them, they neglected to talk about how they would deal with any discipline issues that came up. Elizabeth had grown up as an only child and her parents were very passive in their discipline. The truth of the matter was that she rarely did anything that required her to be punished in any way, so the extent of any punishment was usually just a lecture, followed by her being sent to her room.

Peter, on the other hand, grew up in a family of three boys who were all definitely a handful. Elizabeth cringed at some of the stories Peter had told her about his childhood, wondering how his mother had stayed sane. His parents were very gentle people, too, but Elizabeth knew that Peter's dad, the disciplinarian of the family, knew just how to get his sons' attention when needed. Peter admitted that his father's hands-on approach proved to be a great deterrent at times, but not always.

Any correction Neal had needed so far was done with a few firm words and the child reacted positively to gentle reprimands, for the most part. The biggest problem they had encountered was the fact that Neal was very impetuous and sometimes a little devious. He had learned fairly quickly to play Peter and Elizabeth against each other to get what he wanted and he had figured out whom to ask first for whatever it was that he wanted.

The first bit of trouble he got into was when Elizabeth found him in the kitchen, stuffing a plate full of cookies into his mouth. He looked up at her guiltily when she walked through the door.

"Neal, what are you doing? I thought I told you that you couldn't have cookies until after dinner."

"You did, Lizbef. But, Peter said I could have some." Neal looked up at her, seemingly proud of himself for having an excuse. "You can ask him, Lizbef. He's watching the game."

Elizabeth suddenly had a clear understanding of exactly what happened. Peter was so engrossed in his baseball game that when Neal asked him if he could have a cookie, he probably told him yes without really thinking. That, of course, was all that Neal needed to eat his cookies without feeling too guilty.

"Neal," Elizabeth scolded. "If I tell you no about something, it means no. It doesn't mean that you can ask Peter, hoping that he'll say differently. No means no, sweetie. Do you understand?"

"I was hungry, Lizbef. I just wanted a cookie."

"Well, it looks like you had several cookies. Now, I think that maybe it's time to tell Peter what happened."

Neal looked decidedly unhappy at her words. "I won't do it again, Lizbef. I promise."

She almost caved at the sight of his big blue eyes and trembling lower lip, but didn't. "I hope you won't do it again, sweetie, but we're still going to tell Peter."

With that, she helped Neal down from the stool and held the door open for him. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of Neal trudging into the living room, his head hanging and feet dragging. Once in the living room, he stopped a few feet away from Peter, who looked up from the television.

"Hey, buddy, what's up?" Peter didn't realize right away that something was wrong, but he eventually picked up on Neal's nervousness. Looking up at Elizabeth, he asked, "Did something happen?"

"Neal has something to tell you, Peter." Looking down at Neal, she encouraged him to go on.

"I ate the cookies, Peter," he answered, quietly, staring down at his shoes.

Peter looked confused, not understanding what had happened. "I know, bud. I told you that you could have some, remember? So, what's the problem?"

"LIzbef told me I couldn't have any. But, I really wanted a cookie, Peter, so I asked you."

"Ah, I see. You didn't like the answer Elizabeth gave you, so you came to me, hoping for a better answer, right?"

Neal gave a small nod, but didn't answer.

"Neal, buddy, that wasn't a very nice thing to do. You manipulated me and disrespected Elizabeth by going behind her back like you did. Do you understand why what you did was wrong?"

"I understand, Peter. I didn't mean to disrespect LIzbef and I'm sorry I manilupated you."

"Okay, Neal. I'm glad you understand."

Before Peter could continue, Neal interrupted. "Are you going to take me back to Mrs. Smithson's house?"

"Of course not, sweetie," Elizabeth answered. "Why would we do that? You just made a mistake."

"Listen up, little man…..what do say, as punishment for your deceitfulness, you skip dessert tonight and we call it even?"

Neal looked particularly miserable at realizing that he wouldn't be getting dessert, but he knew better than to argue. "Okay, Peter," he said, sadly. Turning to Elizabeth, he looked up at her with his most charming grin. "Lizbef? Since I don't get dessert tonight can I have pancakes for breakfast? With chocolate chips and lots and lots of syrup?"

Peter and Elizabeth both arranged to take a full week off, feeling like they all needed that time to adjust to the changes in their lives. After that first week, Elizabeth planned on doing as much work as she could in the morning while Neal was in the daycare group she had found. When school started up again in a few weeks, Neal would be starting kindergarten. He wasn't very happy to hear that he would be going to daycare or to school.

"Why can't I just go to work with you?" He asked Elizabeth. "I'll be good and I'll help you, Lizbef."

"Sweetie, you'd be completely bored if you had to hang out at the office all day. Wouldn't you rather spend the morning with kids your own age? I'm sure they play all kinds of games and do all kinds of fun stuff."

"I wouldn't be bored, honest. And I don't like other kids. They're weird."

Elizabeth couldn't keep from smiling at Neal. "I'm sorry, Neal, but you have to go to daycare. It's only for a few hours in the morning, and then I'll pick you up and we can spend the rest of the day together, okay?"

"Okay, Lizbef, but don't blame me if I get weird like the other kids. It might rub off on me, you know?"

That weekend the three of them went shopping. Peter nearly begged to stay home and watch the game, but Elizabeth insisted that he come along. They spent nearly three hours in the mall, a fact that made Peter very unhappy. It seemed that Neal was a little picky about the clothes he wore, not wanting anything that a typical five year old would wear. No cartoon characters, no cute little sayings, no camouflage. Instead, he wanted to wear clothes like Peter wore. Elizabeth broke down and bought him a pair of black pants, several button up shirts and several ties, as well as a few pair of jeans and khakis, some pullover shirts and even a few plain t-shirts.

They spent nearly forty-five minutes picking out shoes. Peter thought the Spiderman shoes were perfect, but Neal didn't like them. Instead, he wanted dress shoes like the ones that Peter wore to work. They finally compromised on a pair of dress shoes and a pair of plain tennis shoes.

The next battle came when they were picking out underwear. Most of the underwear in his size had superheroes or Disney characters and Neal absolutely refused to wear them. They went to four different stores before they found boxer briefs that would fit the small child.

By this time, both Neal and Peter were extremely cranky, so Elizabeth decided it was time for a break. After finding the food court, Elizabeth left Peter and Neal to find a bathroom. Peter was standing in line with Neal standing right beside him, but when he took a call from the office, he didn't notice Neal walking away. After hanging up his phone, he looked down and was horrified to see that Neal was gone.

Looking frantically around him, he didn't see the boy anywhere. Stepping out of line, he started calling out for Neal, the panic evident in his voice. The panic grew exponentially with each passing second, until Peter literally felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

Just as he was about to call 911 and report a missing child, Neal walked out of a candy store that was a few stores away. Running to the child, he grabbed him up and clutched him to his chest. "Neal! Don't ever do that, again! Do you hear me? Never, ever walk off like that!"

Neal looked wide-eyed at Peter, wondering if the man was going crazy. "I was just over there, Peter. I wasn't going to get lost."

Before Peter could say anything, Elizabeth showed up, wondering what was going on to make Peter look like he was having a heart attack. "What happened?" she asked.

"Neal wandered off, El. I looked down and he was gone!"

Elizabeth felt horrible for her husband, who was obviously shaken by the event. She wanted to remind him that you should never take your eyes off of a small child in a crowded place, but knew that it wasn't the right time for that. Instead, she turned to Neal, who by this time was back on his own two feet, still wondering what the big deal was.

"Neal, don't ever wander off like that, okay? You scared Peter to death when he couldn't find you."

"I'm sorry, Peter," Neal answered, sincerely. "I just wanted to look at the candy, that's all. Next time, I'll tell you before I go."

Peter looked angrily at Neal. "No, Neal. The next time you won't walk away from me or El. That is NOT acceptable. Do you understand?"

"Okay, Peter. I won't leave you alone, again."

After Peter calmed down a bit, they ate a quick lunch and then called it quits for the day. Elizabeth knew that Peter had had enough for the day. She knew that he was completely freaked out by losing Neal, even though it was just for a few minutes.

Once home, Elizabeth set Neal up on the patio with his easel and some watercolor paints, before heading back into the house where Peter was sitting in front of the television with a beer in hand.

"Hon, how are you feeling?"

Peter looked up at his wife with a strange look on his face. "I don't know if I can do this, El. I completely freaked out when I found him missing. All the training I've had, all the on–the-job experience, and I panicked. I'm not cut out to be a dad."

"Oh, Peter….you're doing a great job with Neal. You made a mistake by taking your eyes off of him, but he made a mistake, too. And you didn't panic, hon. You called out for him and you searched for him, just like you should have. We just need to make sure that Neal really understands that he can't ever do that again."

Peter really didn't look convinced, but it helped when Elizabeth curled up next to him on the couch. "We knew this wasn't going to be easy, hon, but aren't you loving it?"

"Yeah, El….I am loving it." Just as Peter finished his statement, they both heard a cry from the backyard.

"No, Satchmo! Get down, boy!"

Elizabeth and Peter ran out to the backyard to find Neal sitting on the ground, drenched in the water he was using to rinse his brushes. He had an exceptionally grumpy look on his face, as he glared at Satchmo, who was looking rather pleased with himself.

"Yep, I'm loving every minute of it, El," Peter said with a laugh.

Author's note: Awww...poor Peter is feeling a little inadequate. I personally think he's doing a fine job, for someone who hasn't had much experience with kids. What do you all think of Peter's parenting ability? And what do you think of little Neal so far? Thanks for reading. You are all much appreciated.