FuturAstrorama
IX.
Astro helped Professor Farnsworth get the heavy panels out from the basement where they'd been stored since last Xmas. Astro and Bender installed the panels over the windows and doors under the professor's directions. Only the already heavily armored side door didn't need any additional protection, and it could be bared from the inside.
"We'll be safe in here now." Professor Farnsworth said. "Now what?"
"Come Xmas eve I'll be outside waiting for Santa!" Astro said pounding a fist into his palm. "This is going to be Santa's last Xmas raising hell on Earth!"
"Are you sure you handle him?" Bender asked. "The police and military bots hid from him on Xmas eve. Santa comes to Earth armed and loaded for bear."
"Years ago I had to stand up to a monster robot that was designed to destroy other robots." Astro said. "Pluto had ten times my strength, but I had my creator increase my mine to one million horsepower and he also gave me some additional fire power. Yeah I can take this Santa bot on. With any luck I'll be able to get him to see the light of day as I did Pluto. If not, well if I have to destroy him I will!"
The Nimbus returned to her patrol between the orbits of Jupiter and Saturn. Zapp Brannigan was pissed off. Once again D.O.O.P. command had assigned him and his crew patrol duty during the Xmas holiday.
"You know Kif," Zapp waxed in thought, "I'm sick of this Xmas patrol every year. What the hell is D.O.O.P. thinking?"
"Maybe they're hoping you can prevent Santa from making his usual Xmas strafing run on the Earth," his first in command suggested.
"You know, that's right!" Zapp laughed. "Well the crew can use the target practice! Put the ship in orbit around Jupiter Kif, when Santa passes our way in route to Earth from Neptune we'll blast him out of existence with full phasers and photo torpedoes! Tell the weapons officer to fine tune the targeting computers. HO HO HO!" he laughed.
Right on schedule Santa left Neptune for his night of retribution across Earth. His sled-space ship was loaded with bombs, rifles, lasers and lots of ammo. He also had packed a nice present for Zoidberg.
The Nimbus lay in waiting around Jupiter.
"Sensors report Santa's sled in route" Kif reported from navigation bridge.
"Prepare to break out of orbit and follow that sled!" Zapp ordered. "Plot me an intercept course!"
The Nimbus fired up her warp engines and got behind Santa's sled just as the renegade robot passed the giant planet.
"Weapons officer reports we have a target lock on Santa!" Kif replied.
"Good, let him have it!" Zapp ordered, "Fire all weapons!"
At the last moment Santa's sled accelerated and quickly pulled away from the Nimbus.
"Looks like he's on to us, sir!" Kif said.
"Well go to a higher warp factor and catch up to him!" Zapp ordered. "I want to see his butt on my view screen!"
"He's pulled into the asteroid belt to hid!" Kif reported.
"Follow him, damn it!" Zapp yelled.
For the next few minutes Santa's sled and the Nimbus played a game of chicken dodging asteroids, with the Nimbus slowly drawing closer to its prey. Santa-bot reached into the back of his sled and picked up a huge phaser cannon, and turned around to aim it at the Nimbus.
"In coming!" Kif yelled as a phaser blast tore a hole through the lower decks of the ship.
"Return fire!" Zapp yelled.
The Nimbus fired off a barrage of photo torpedoes and several quick blasts of phaser fire. Santa bot flew a quick zig zag course and managed to avoid the Nimbus weapons fire. Two of the torpedoes blasted against a large planetoid sending fragments of it in all directions setting up a chain reaction that caused other asteroids flying toward the Nimbus. Two of the wayward rocks knocked her engines off line, the Nimbus slowed down and drifted in space.
"Shit!" Zapp moaned. "He got away again!"
"That's not the worst of it." Kif sighed.
"You mean there's more bad news?" Zapp asked.
"Yes. One of our photon torpedoes knocked a minor planetoid out of its orbit sending it inward." Kif replied. "I'm tracking it now, it looks like it will hit NNYC in a few days."
"Oh crap!" Zapp sighed. "I don't think D.O.O.P. will like that very much!"
A few hours before Xmas eve found the Planet Express crew hunkered down in their HQ building with the doors and windows barred. They were both scared and bored at the same time. Leela and Fry kept busy by playing strip poker, Leela had so far given up only her tank top, Fry was down to his underwear. Uran was trying to keep Chi-tan amused with some toys that Bender had found in the basement, Cobalt and the Professor were monitoring the space band radio. Astro stood by the door, waiting to walk out and face his adversary.
"Hey Astro!" Cobalt yelled out. "We've got another problem."
"Now what?" Astro asked.
"I just heard a report on the space band that a rather large asteroid is on a collision course with the Earth." he said. "Looks like it will impact in NNYC late Xmas day!"
Leela overheard Cobalt. "Where is that stupid Zapp Brannigan when you need him?" she moaned.
"What do you mean?" Cobalt said. "The Nimbus was the cause of that asteroid changing orbit, and the ship is now dead in space."
"Yeah, I should have guessed that!" Leela laughed.
"So after I destroy this Santa bot, I've got to divert an asteroid!" Astro moaned. "Great!"