Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 8

The next few weeks went by quickly for the Burkes. Neal continued to do well in his daycare group and was sad to have to leave it when it was time for him to finally start Kindergarten. On his last day, he wore his favorite shirt and tie, wanting to look nice for Miss Summer. Elizabeth made him cookies to share with everyone and he wrote Miss Summer a poem and drew her a picture.

At the end of class, Neal walked up to Miss Summer and handed her the card he had made for her. "Miss Summer? I made this for you cuz I'm glad you helped me. And, whenever you miss me, you can look at it and remember me."

"Thank you, Neal," Miss Summer said. She smiled down at him, realizing how much she was going to miss the charming little boy. Opening up the card, she was happy to see Neal's even writing and beautiful drawing. He really was quite talented for a five year old.

"I wrote that poem just for you, Miss Summer. Do you like it?"

Miss Summer smiled as she read the poem:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I want you to know

I'm gonna miss you

Roses are red

And sometimes pink

You're gonna miss me

A lot, I think

"I love it, Neal. Did you write it all by yourself?"

"Lizbef helped me, Miss Summer. I told her what to write and then I copied it. I drew the picture all by myself, though. Lizbef can't really draw that good. Her flowers look like doughnuts on a stick. Don't tell her I said that, okay? I don't want to make her cry."

"Of course not, Neal. I wouldn't want to make her cry, either. And you know what? You're right, Neal. I am going to miss you a lot."

The first day of kindergarten was almost a complete instant replay of the first day of daycare. Neal wanted to wear a shirt and tie again, of course. He wouldn't eat breakfast, even though they all could hear his stomach growling like a lion. Before he could refuse anything else, though, Peter laid down the law.

"Neal, I'm telling you again to cowboy up, okay? Remember how you felt on your first day of daycare? But, you ended up loving it there, didn't you? Kindergarten's going to be the same way, bud. You're going to make new friends and you're going to learn new things. Think of it as a new adventure."

Neal liked adventures, so he decided to give it a chance. It couldn't be that bad, right?

The kindergarten class was much bigger than Neal's daycare group, and Neal wasn't happy to see that he was one of the smallest in the class. In fact, he was the smallest boy. Neal wasn't happy to find out that his teacher was a man, either. Thanks to events in his young life, Neal had an almost immediate distrust of men. Peter was definitely the exception to that, for some reason.

Peter and Elizabeth walked Neal around the room, looking for his name on all the desks. Once they found it, they helped him to unload his backpack. After that task was done, Elizabeth showed him where his cubby and coat hook was, explaining to him that he could put his coat on the hook and his backpack in the cubby. Once that was all settled, they said a quick goodbye and left Neal in his classroom.

It wasn't any easier the second time.

Neal nervously looked around the classroom once Peter and Elizabeth left. Most of the kids seemed to know each other, so Neal felt like an outsider right away. Sitting down at his desk, he waited for his teacher to start talking. Minutes later, the bell rang, and the kids all made their way to their desks. Neal's desk was right in the middle of the classroom and he watched as a girl sat in front of him and two boys sat in the desks next to him.

His teacher, Mr. Parker, introduced himself to the class and told them that he wanted them to stand up, introduce themselves, and tell the class something exciting that had happened over the summer. Neal listened as kids told stories of family vacations and summer camps and trips to the lake. He searched his mind for something good that had happened to him, but all that he could come up with was how he had come to live with Peter and Elizabeth.

He didn't want to tell the class about his mom dying or how Jenna had left him with William. He didn't want to explain to them about how he had spent weeks in foster care, either. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to say until the second Mr. Parker called his name.

Standing up, Neal nervously played with his tie. Some of the kids snickered at the obviously over-dressed boy, but Neal ignored them. "My name is Neal Caffrey and I'm five."

"Hi, Neal," Mr. Parker said. "Can you tell us something exciting about your summer?"

Neal looked nervously around him before finally answering. "A man took me and made me stay with him for hours and hours. He had a gun and he pointed it at me. The FBI and the police came to save me."

Everyone in the classroom stared at Neal, some of them looking scared at his story. Mr. Parker looked angry.

"Neal, that's enough. We don't tell lies in this classroom, is that clear? "

"I'm not lying, Mr. Parker," Neal insisted. "The man held a gun to my head, and I bit his arm. He let go of me and I ran and Peter kicked the gun out of his hand. The police came in and took him away."

"Neal! I said that's enough." Mr. Parker said, firmly. "Take your seat."

Neal sat back down, confusion evident on his face. Everyone in the classroom was looking at him strangely, and Neal was suddenly embarrassed.

The next hour went by quickly, with Mr. Parker explaining the rules of the classroom to everyone. Neal was glad when it was finally time for recess. He had started to fidget restlessly in his seat and Mr. Parker had called him on it several times already. Once he was out on the playground, Neal found himself surrounded by his classmates.

The little girl that had been sitting in front of him approached him first. "Did that really happen? Did a man really point a gun at you?"

"Yeah," Neal said. "It was a big gun, too. The kind that the police use."

"Did you really bite him?" another girl asked.

"I sure did," Neal answered with a smile. "I was tired of being there. He wouldn't even let me have a drink and the police were taking too long, so I bit him on the arm."

Before Neal could continue, Mr. Parker suddenly appeared. "Neal, what did I say about telling lies?" Mr. Parker sent the other students away and then led Neal over to a bench. "I think you need to sit here and think about the importance of telling the truth and of obeying the rules, Neal, okay?"

Neal felt tears burning his eyes as he nodded his head. Why did the man think he was lying?

By lunch time, Neal had decided that he really didn't like Mr. Parker. It seemed that Neal couldn't do anything right in the man's eyes and Neal's frustration was just about to boil over. As his frustration grew, Neal became more and more restless and jittery, causing his teacher to get more and more frustrated himself. Eventually, after telling Neal to settle down for the third time, he sent Neal to stand in the corner. Neal's face and neck were red with embarrassment, as the class laughed at his predicament.

When the lunch bell finally rang, Mr. Parker excused the class, but not before telling Neal to stay behind. Reluctantly, Neal stayed, only to hear that he was to sit on the time-out bench for all of lunch recess, as well. He really wished that this day would be over.

When lunch and recess were over, Neal went back to the classroom, determined to not do anything that would make Mr. Parker mad at him. He sat quietly at his desk, did the work that was handed out, and tried his best to not act on his restlessness. Things were going pretty well until Mr. Parker stepped out of the classroom to talk with another teacher.

The class was supposed to be copying the first ten letters of the alphabet, something that Neal was able to do quickly. Once he was done, he sat quietly, his mind drifting to the cookies that Elizabeth had baked last night. He was looking forward to eating a few of them when he got home.

As he was thinking about how good his snack was going to be, one of the boys threw an eraser at him, hitting him on the side of his head. Neal turned around and glared at the boy. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Why did you lie about that whole gun thing?" the boy asked.

"I didn't lie," Neal said.

"Mr. Parker said you lied about it!"

"Mr. Parker wasn't there," Neal answered, loudly. "He doesn't know anything."

"Yes, he does. You're just making that up, because you think it makes you sound cool. You're just a baby and if something like that happened, you'd probably cry and pee your pants."

"Shut up!" Neal yelled, as he threw the eraser back at the boy, hitting him squarely between the eyes. The boy immediately started crying.

By this time, everyone in the classroom was looking at him, and Mr. Parker chose that very moment to walk back in.

"Neal! That's enough. We don't use those words in this classroom and we don't throw things." After making sure that the other boy was okay, he turned and pointed at Neal. "Come with me!"

Neal stood up, uncertainly, aware that everyone was still watching him. Mr. Parker led him out of the classroom and minutes later deposited him in front of the Principal's office. Neal felt like crying from all the frustration built up inside of him.

Peter was sitting at his desk, looking through some cold case files, when his phone rang. Upon answering it, he was surprised to find that it was Neal's school. Sitting up straighter at his desk, he listened as Neal's teacher informed him of the events of the morning. Neal wasn't having a good day.

Peter grabbed his suit jacket and walked out of his office. Finding Diana, he told her that he would be gone for a while, and that he could be reached on his cell phone, if he was needed. He made a call to Elizabeth on his way down to the garage, but she didn't answer. She must be in a meeting with clients, he thought.

Leaving her a brief message, he made his way to Neal's school, wondering what in the world the boy could have gotten himself into.

When he arrived at the school, Peter went directly to the Principal's office. When he entered the main office, he saw Neal sitting in a chair looking exceedingly nervous and forlorn. Peter smiled at the way Neal's lower lip pouted and at the way he was nervously twisting a curl of hair. His legs were bouncing frantically, too.

"Hey, buddy, are you okay?"

Neal was startled when he heard Peter's voice and instantly jumped up, throwing himself into Peter's leg. "Peter!"

"Sounds like you're having a not so good day, Neal?" Peter pushed Neal gently away from him, so he could see his face.

"I hate it here, Peter. I want to go home and never come back, okay?"

Just as Peter was about to answer him, the Principal's door opened to reveal a very serious older woman. "Mr. Burke? I'm Mrs. Corbin. Why don't you and Neal come in and have a seat?"

Peter grabbed Neal's hand and walked into the office. He led Neal to one of the seats, before sitting down in the other one, only to have Neal climbed into his lap. He started to tell Neal to get back into the other chair, but he stopped himself when he felt the tremors shooting through his small body. Instead, he pulled the boy in closer to him.

"Mr. Burke, I'm sorry you had to come in today, as I know you're a busy man. We tried to handle things ourselves, but after this last event, I felt it was necessary to call you."

"I appreciate you calling me, Mrs. Corbin. Now, if you could just tell me what happened…."

"Of course." Mrs. Corbin glanced at Neal, before continuing. "It seems that Neal had a rough start to his day. His teacher, Mr. Parker, started the day off by having each child introduce him or herself and telling the class something interesting about their summer. Most of the children talked about trips they had taken with their families or camps they had gone to. When it was Neal's turn, he told the class a story about how he was held hostage by a man with a gun. Mr. Parker, of course, didn't want his class to get scared, so he interrupted Neal and explained to him that it was wrong to lie to the class."

Peter listened as the woman went on to explain the rest of what happened. When she was finally done, he answered in as calm of a voice as he could muster. "Neal wasn't lying about the man holding him hostage, Mrs. Corbin, and I think that if Mr. Parker had taken the time to listen or had pulled Neal aside and explained to him why it wasn't appropriate to tell the class about it, all of this could have been avoided."

Mrs. Corbin looked surprised to hear that the events had actually happened. Before she could say anything, Peter continued. "That doesn't excuse the fact that Neal threw an eraser at someone or that he told the kid to shut up, but I think that all could have been prevented if things had been handled differently. I'll make sure to talk to Neal about his part in all of this."

"Mr. Burke, I'm sorry. Perhaps if we knew what Neal had been through…."

"I think it's more important that Mr. Parker learns to listen to his students, don't you? If he had taken the time to talk to Neal, he might have been able to control the situation a little better."

After talking over a few more things, Peter decided to just take Neal with him. There was only an hour left in the school day, anyway. He could feel the relief shoot through Neal's little body at knowing he didn't have to go back to class.

Peter helped Neal get settled in his booster seat, giving the boy a reassuring smile before closing the door. On the way home, he tried to engage the boy in conversation, but Neal wasn't very talkative.

Once they were home, Neal sadly walked into the house. Satchmo greeted him at the door, licking his face relentlessly until Neal finally laughed. Peter had grown to love the sound of Neal's laughter echoing in the house.

"What do say we see if there are any cookies left, kid?" Peter led Neal into the kitchen, settling the kid into a seat at the bar before warming up a plate of cookies and pouring them both some milk. As he sat the plate down, he noticed that a look of sadness had returned to the boy. "You've had a rough day, haven't you?"

"It's been a no-good day, Peter. Who knew kindergarten would be so hard?" Neal sighed, dramatically, as he stuffed a cookie in his mouth. "I might need more cookies, Peter, to take away my pain."

"Oh, you think so? Well, I don't think Elizabeth would mind, as long as it makes you feel better," Peter said with a smile.

"Lizbef wouldn't mind," Neal said with a mouth full of cookie. "She understands these things."

Peter watched as Neal ate a few more cookies. "Neal, I'm sorry that your first day was a no-good day. Mr. Parker was wrong to not listen to you. However, I want to talk to you about how you threw the eraser at the kid and yelled at him to shut up. You know that you shouldn't have done that, right?"

"He threw the eraser at me first, Peter. He hit me in the head and it hurt. Then he called me a baby! In front of everyone!"

"I'm not saying that what he did was okay, Neal. I'm trying to get you to understand that what you did was not right. Retaliation is never the answer, okay? And you're only responsible for your own actions."

"It's not fair, Peter. I got in trouble and he didn't. Besides, I don't even know what taliation means, so how could I have done that?"

Peter tried to explain, but couldn't seem to find the right words to make a five year old understand. Finally, he just put it as simply as he could. "Just because someone does something to you, doesn't mean you can do the same thing to them, Neal, okay? Sometimes you have to be brave and just let it go."

"I tried to do that all day, Peter. But, when that kid called me a baby, I couldn't take it anymore. My camel's back broke and I lost it." Peter laughed at the seriousness on Neal's face. "It's not funny, Peter. When that happened, it made my no-good day even worse."

"I'm not laughing at you, Neal. I'm just wondering how you know about the 'straw that broke the camel's back' saying?"

"I've always known that, Peter. I'm smart, remember?" Neal smiled at Peter, before turning serious again. "My no-good day is almost better, Peter. I think one more cookie ought to do it, okay?"

Authors note: Gotta love Neal and his cookies, right? And here's a little Peter/Neal bonding like some of you asked for.

Someone brought up the fact that Neal should have already been in either preschool or kindergarten at his age, so I wanted to explain my thinking. At the beginning of this story, Neal had just turned five. Peter and Elizabeth gained custody of him sometime in the later part of summer, so instead of enrolling him in a preschool at such a late date, they found a daycare group instead. He entered kindergarten in September, when school started again. Hopefully, that explains it a little bit.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading.