Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 9

By the time Elizabeth came home, Neal was in a better mood. He had the slightest little stomachache, but wasn't about to admit it to anyone, knowing that Elizabeth would be mad if she knew how many cookies he had eaten.

He was up in his room, drawing on his chalkboard wall, when he heard the front door open. Minutes later, he heard the sound of Elizabeth's footsteps on the stairs and knew she was coming up to see him. Just as she opened his door, he leaped at her. "Lizbef! You're home!"

"Hi, sweetie…..How was your day?" Elizabeth sat down on the bed and pulled Neal close to her. "Tell me all about it."

Elizabeth hadn't talked to her husband yet, so she didn't have any idea of how Neal's day had gone. She could tell, though, by the way his face darkened, that it hadn't gone well.

"It was a no-good day, Lizbef, and I don't think I want to go back. I don't like it there."

"Why not, Neal? What happened?"

Neal told her everything that had happened and by the end her heart was aching for the boy.

"It wasn't fair, Lizbef. Mr. Parker made me go to the Principal's office and she's scary. She kept looking at me funny and I didn't like it. Mr. Parker told her that I was being unruly, but I wasn't." Neal looked up at Elizabeth, confusion evident on his face. "Well, I don't know what that word even means, so I guess I might have been."

Elizabeth smiled at that. "It means you were being disobedient and disruptive, sweetie."

"But I wasn't," Neal cried. "I was trying to be good, Lizbef. Honest! That kid threw the eraser at me first! I just threw it back at him. Peter said I shouldn't have um….that I shouldn't taliate, but I was just really mad."

"Peter was right, sweetie. Just because someone wronged you doesn't give you the right to wrong them back. Can you understand that?"

"I guess so, but it's not easy, Lizbef. That kid pushed all my buttons and I was mad."

"I know you were mad, Neal, but sometimes you have to just let things be. Now, there has to be at least one good thing that happened to you today, right? Can you tell me about it?"

A smile brightened Neal's face, which in turn warmed Elizabeth's heart. "I made a friend, Lizbef. She sits in front of me and her name is Leah. She said she liked my tie. And you know what? I gave her half of my cookie at lunch and she said it was the best cookie she ever had."

"That's great, Neal. I'm glad you made a friend. Maybe you can take two cookies tomorrow and give one to Leah."

Neal's eyes lit up, but then quickly darkened. "Are you trying to trick me, Lizbef? I don't want to go back to school, remember? I don't want to have another no-good day."

'Honey, you have to go back to school. And I bet that tomorrow will be a better day. The first day is always the hardest." Before Neal could argue, Elizabeth continued. "Why don't we take Satchmo for a walk, Neal? He's been alone all day and I think he could use some company."

Neal looked like he still wanted to argue about school, but he didn't. He followed Elizabeth downstairs and helped her hook Satchmo to his leash.

That night was a no-good night for any of them. Neal decided that there was absolutely no way that he was going to go back to school the next day. To prove his point, he refused to eat dinner and then refused to take his bath. Peter had to pick the boy up, undress him and plop him down in the water. Neal, of course, climbed out of the tub the minute Peter's back was turned. Fortunately, Peter turned back just in time to stop the boy from slipping out the door.

"Neal, that's enough! Get in the bathtub and stay there, little man."

Neal stood rooted to the spot, hands fisted at his side, not caring that he was standing in front of Peter completely naked. He absolutely did not want to have to take a bath!

Peter picked the boy up and again plopped him down into the tub. Neal brought his hands down hard to the water, drenching Peter completely. "That's it, little man. You're going to bed as soon as your bath is done."

Neal didn't like that idea, at all. He had come to enjoy the part of the day where the three of them watched television or played a game. To give up that part of the night was definitely the straw that broke the back of Neal's camel, causing the poor boy to finally lose it.

Picking up one of his toy boats, he threw it at Peter, hitting the man square on the nose. Peter let fly a few inappropriate words, surprising both himself and Neal, who by this time realized that he had gone too far.

Without another word, Peter took Neal out of the bathtub, dried him off and helped him into his pajamas, and then marched him downstairs into the dining room. Still not saying anything, he pulled out one of the dining room chairs and placed it in the corner, before turning back to the little boy.

"Sit, Neal." When Neal didn't make a move to do what he was told, Peter wasted no time in picking the child up and placing him on the chair. "You'll sit there for the next ten minutes and think about why you're in time-out, Neal. Is that clear? When your time is up, I expect you to be able to tell me why you're being punished."

At these words, Neal burst into tears, his little feet kicking angrily at the chair legs. Elizabeth, who had been in the basement doing laundry, flew up the stairs to find out what was wrong with Neal. She couldn't believe her eyes when she found a crying child, sitting in time-out, and her husband holding his swollen nose.

"What in the world happened?" she asked. "Why is Neal crying and what happened to your nose, hon?"

"Neal happened to my nose, El. He was throwing a fit and I told him that he was to go to bed as soon as his bath was done. He didn't like that idea and he threw his boat at me!"

Elizabeth turned to Neal, who was still crying and kicking his feet. "Neal, sweetie, that was an awful thing to do. I know you're frustrated, but you can't throw things at people. I'm sure you didn't mean to, but you hurt Peter."

Neal started crying even harder at that. Elizabeth kissed him on top of the head before turning away. She knew that they needed to be firm with him, even if it was a hard thing to do.

"Ten minutes, Neal," Peter reiterated.

With that, he and Elizabeth walked into the living room and sat down on the couch together. Peter looked exhausted. "Is this going to get any easier, El?" he asked. "I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with him."

"You're doing a great job with him, hon. You're a natural." Elizabeth tried to reassure her husband, knowing exactly how he felt. "Besides, we knew this wasn't going to be easy, didn't we?"

"We did, but I just feel like I'm completely out of my league, here. Am I being too hard on him? Expecting too much?"

"No, Peter. Neal's a smart kid. He knows he can't throw things at people like that. I think he was just feeling overwhelmed by everything that's happened today and doesn't know how to handle it. He's only five, remember?"

Peter squeezed his wife's hand, wondering how she had gotten so smart.

The ten minutes that Neal spent in the corner seemed like the longest ten minutes for all three of them. Peter and Elizabeth listened as Neal's cries turned into sobs and then into just sniffles. Eventually, he stopped crying and all that could be heard was the sound of his feet kicking the chair legs, restlessly.

When Peter called him out of the chair, Neal jumped down and slowly walked into the living room, where they were waiting. "Come here, Neal," Peter said, as he motioned for Neal to step over to him. Neal stopped right in front of Peter, standing between his knees. He didn't look up at either Peter or Elizabeth, instead choosing to stare down at Peter's knee, as one hand tugged at one of his curls.

Peter cleared his throat, causing Neal to flinch a little. "Okay, bud, how about if you tell Elizabeth and I why you were punished?"

It took Neal a few seconds to muster up the courage to answer, but he finally did. "I threw my boat at you," he answered, miserably.

"What else, Neal?"

"I-I was being disbedident, Peter. And um….unruly."

"Disobedient, Neal," Peter corrected. "And yes, you were. If you had taken your bath like you were told to, none of this would have happened, little man. You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble, if you had just cooperated."

"I tried to copperate, Peter, but my angriness wouldn't let me."

"Well, it seems like maybe you need to work on controlling your angriness, bud, okay? Now, go on up and brush your teeth. We'll be up in a minute to tuck you in."

Neal looked sadly at Peter and Elizabeth before turning and walking up the stairs.

Elizabeth checked Neal's teeth to make sure he had brushed them good enough, which, of course, he hadn't. After following him into the bathroom and helping him, she returned to find Peter waiting in Neal's bedroom.

Neal climbed into bed and looked hopefully at Peter. "Can you read me a story, Peter?" he asked.

"Not tonight, kiddo. You're being sent to bed early as part of your punishment, remember? That means no story."

Peter almost gave in at the look of sadness that crossed Neal's face, but he felt that he had to be strong and consistent. The boy needed to learn that it was never okay to throw something at someone, and if missing his much-loved storybook time helped him to remember that, then so be it. In truth, Peter felt like he was being punished, too, as he had grown to love this part of the night himself.

Elizabeth and Peter both reached down and kissed Neal on the forehead, wishing him pleasant dreams. Just as Peter was about to turn off the light, Neal's soft voice stopped him. "Peter? I'm sorry I threw my boat at you. Is your nose okay?"

"It's okay, Neal, and thank you."

'You're welcome, Peter. I just hope your nose doesn't get any bigger. It's already pretty big."

Elizabeth snorted at that, causing Peter to glare at her, as he turned out the light. "Go to sleep, Neal!"

Peter felt like he had only been asleep for ten minutes when he woke up to a strange noise. After waiting a few long seconds for his eyes adjust to the darkness, he was surprised to find Neal standing next to his bed. "Neal? What are you doing up, buddy?"

"I can't sleep, Peter. I can't stop my brain from thinking and it's giving me a brain-ache."

"You have a headache?"

"No, it's a brain-ache, Peter. I think it's cuz my brain's too busy."

Peter looked at the clock and realized that it only one in the morning. Not knowing what to do, he woke Elizabeth up and explained everything to her. Jumping out of bed, she took Neal into the bathroom to check him out and to give him some medicine. When they returned, Elizabeth started to head back to Neal's room, but he stopped her.

"Lizbef? Can I sleep with you? Please?" Neal looked up at her with his pain-filled blue eyes, and she had no choice but to pull her blankets back and let Neal crawl into bed. She nearly cried out when his ice-cold feet settled against her legs, but was able to stop herself, just in time. Peter looked at her over the top of Neal's head, wondering what she was thinking. The bed was barely big enough for the two of them, as it was. Elizabeth just shrugged her shoulders at him and settled in. Just as she was about to close her eyes, she felt Neal reach up and grab a lock of her. Minutes later, he was sound asleep, her hair still clutched in his little hand.

Peter woke up the next morning with an aching pain in his back. He realized suddenly that he was laying stiffly on the very edge of the bed and that Neal had one foot planted in the middle of his back and the other against his head. The boy had to be practically upside down in the bed, he thought. Slowly getting out of bed, he looked down to find that the boy was actually completely sideways in the bed. Elizabeth had been relegated to the very edge of her side of the bed, too, although she looked a little more comfortable than he had been. She was lying on her back, and Neal was using her stomach as a pillow, and the sight of the two of them sleeping so peacefully made Peter smile. It also made him a little jealous. He didn't think that he had ever had such an uncomfortable night's sleep before and he hoped that this wasn't going to be a routine event.

After taking a quick shower, Peter woke his wife up. They both had busy days planned and needed to get going a little earlier than usual, especially now that they had the extra task of getting a five year old up and around.

Neal woke up in a cranky mood, especially when Peter told him it was time to get ready for school.

"I'm not going to school, Peter. I don't like it there, remember?"

Peter definitely wasn't in the mood to fight with Neal about going to school, so he made sure the kid understood right away that he didn't have a choice. "You're going to school, Neal, and that's final. If you decide to argue with me, you'll find yourself going to bed even earlier tonight."

Neal didn't say anything in reply to Peter's warning. He went into his bedroom and started getting dressed, picking out another shirt and tie. Peter wondered how the fixation with dressing up came about.

Once they were downstairs, Neal barely picked at his breakfast, even though it was one of his favorites. He didn't say anything to Peter, but his head was still hurting a little. Eventually, Elizabeth made it downstairs and she couldn't help but smile at how adorable Neal looked.

"Good morning, sweetie. How does your head feel? Better?"

"I guess so, Lizbef, but maybe I should stay home, just in case." Neal looked hopefully at Elizabeth.

"Sorry, Neal, but you need to go to school. If you miss a day, you'll get behind. Besides, don't you want to take a cookie to share with Leah?"

Neal's eyes brightened at that. "Can I? Can I give her the one that has the most chocolate chips?"

"Of course, you can. Why don't you come and help me pick out the best one?"

Minutes later, Neal was ready to go to school, anxious to show Leah the cookie he had picked out just for her.

Once back at school, Neal had a much better day. Mr. Parker actually apologized to him for thinking that he was lying and to make up for it, he assigned Neal as classroom helper for the day. That meant that Neal and someone he chose got to go to the cafeteria to pick up their mid-morning snack and bring it back to the classroom. Neal, of course, chose Leah to help him.

At lunchtime, he gave Leah the cookie he had picked out for her, making sure that she knew it was the one with the most chocolate chips in it. They had become fast friends, spending most of their free time together. Unfortunately, Neal found out that the boy that had thrown the eraser at him was Leah's cousin, Patrick, and he didn't like the fact that she was spending all of her time with Neal.

During the last recess of the day, Patrick cornered Neal on the jungle-gym, telling him to leave his cousin alone. Patrick was a lot bigger than Neal, but Neal wasn't about to let him take away his very first friend.

"Leah can be friends with anyone she wants, Patrick. And she wants to be my friend."

"You better stay away from her, Neal." Patrick looked at Neal, angrily.

Neal tried to turn away, but Patrick stopped him by grabbing his tie.

"Let go of my tie," Neal growled.

"Why do you wear such stupid clothes, anyway?" Patrick asked. "Does your mommy pick out your clothes for you?"

Again, Neal tried to ignore Patrick, but the boy wouldn't leave him alone, still pulling on his tie.

Finally, Neal had had enough. Grabbing his tie, he jerked it away from Patrick with one hand, while pushing the boy away with his other hand. Unfortunately, Neal didn't see the backpack that was directly behind Patrick, and he couldn't stop the boy from tripping over the bag. Patrick fell down, crying out as his head bounced off the ground. Neal immediately tried to help the boy up, but Patrick refused to get up. Within seconds, two teachers had shown up and after getting the story of what has happened from the students gathered around, Neal once more found himself on his way to the Principal's office.

Peter couldn't believe it when he received another phone call from Neal's school, telling him that Neal was in trouble again. It was only the second day of school! How was it possible that the kid had gotten in trouble again?!

Packing up his case files, Peter once again told Diana that he had to leave. Diana gave him a strange look, before turning to say something to Jones. They knew all about how the Burkes had taken in Neal, and everyone in the White Collar division thought that the idea of Peter as a father was adorable. The man didn't realize it himself, but he was a very paternal being.

Entering the school again, Peter had a sense of déjà vu. That sense increased when he found Neal sitting in the same chair as before, kicking his feet against the chair legs. This time, though, Neal didn't jump up and run to Peter when he saw him. Instead, he suddenly stopped kicking his legs and became completely still, staring at his hands that were clasped in his lap.

"Neal, what happened this time?" Peter looked worriedly at the small boy, noticing that his tie was askew and that his neck was a little red, as if his shirt collar had tightened.

Just as he was about to ask Neal again, the door to Mrs. Corbin's office opened to reveal the Principal, a man and woman, and a young boy that looked to be about Neal's age. The boy looked like he had been crying, and Peter didn't miss the glare that he shot at Neal.

After a few more words between them, the couple and young boy left, leaving Mrs. Corbin to usher Peter and Neal into the office. This time, Neal sat nervously in the seat next to Peter's, still not looking up at the man. Peter could tell that it was taking everything Neal had within him not to give in to the desire to bounce his legs. Peter knew that the kid was like a fireball of energy and that if he didn't find some way to release some of that energy, he would explode. He suddenly hoped that this meeting wouldn't take too long.

"Mr. Burke, there was an incident during recess that involved Neal and another young man from his class. As you know, we have a zero tolerance policy on bullying and fighting here at Sheffield Elementary. It seems that Neal and this other student engaged in both this afternoon.

Peter found it hard to believe that Neal would take part in any type of bullying. Instead of saying anything, he turned to Neal. "Is this true, Neal?" he asked.

Neal finally turned his eyes up to Peter, who could see the desperation in them. Neal wanted badly for Peter to believe him, it seemed. "I didn't bully him, Peter. I just tried to tell him that Leah was my friend and that I could be her friend, if she wanted me to. He told me to stay away from her and I told him I wouldn't. He was being a bully, Peter. Not me!"

"Okay, Neal, I believe you, buddy. What else happened? Where does the fighting come into play?"

Neal's eyes filled with tears, but Peter was surprised to see that Neal kept himself composed. "I didn't mean to push him down, Peter. He grabbed my tie and he wouldn't let go. I asked him to, but he just hung on to it. So, I grabbed it and jerked it out of his hand and I pushed him away, but there was a backpack behind him and he tripped over it. I tried to help him up, Peter, but he wouldn't let me. I didn't mean to hurt him."

Peter reached out and grabbed Neal's shoulder. "Thank you for being honest, Neal." Turning back to Mrs. Corbin, he asked her how the school was going to handle the situation.

Mrs. Corbin looked closely at Neal, before answering. "Patrick Thomas told a completely different story, Mr. Burke, but a few of the other students confirmed Neal's version of events. Other than the fact that Neal pushed him, it seems that Patrick is responsible for what happened. I think that perhaps if Neal stayed in detention for one recess a day for the rest of the week, we can call it even." Turning to Neal, Mrs. Corbin gave him a smile. "Neal, I appreciate you being truthful today. I understand that Patrick provoked you, but I want you to understand that you need to learn to control yourself, too. If anything like that happens again, you should walk away and find the nearest teacher, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Neal answered, softly.

Mrs. Corbin stood up and turned to Peter. "Mr. Burke, I hope that this doesn't become a routine. Two times in two days has to be a record."

After saying goodbye, Peter once again led Neal out to the car. Once they were both buckled in, Neal looked at Peter, worriedly. "Peter? Do I have to go to bed early tonight?"

"What makes you ask that, kid?"

"I got in trouble again," Neal answered, sadly. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Peter. I'm more trouble than a mirth."

"I think that's supposed to be 'I'm more trouble than I'm worth', Neal," Peter laughed.

"That doesn't make sense, Peter," Neal said. "Trouble isn't worth anything, it's free."

After a long minute of looking thoughtfully at Peter, Neal continued. "I think you need to read more, Peter. If you want, I'll let you read me two stories tonight."

Authors note: Neal and his mispronunciations and messed up quotes…..How cute is he? And how did you like Neal hogging the whole bed? If you've ever slept in a bed with a five year old, you'll understand. My youngest son was the worst to sleep with and he always insisted on playing with my hair until he fell asleep. Drove me crazy sometimes, but oh how I miss it now that he's fourteen.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I promise that there is some excitement coming up soon, so just be patient a little longer.