A/N: Okay I know it's been a while and I hope that I still have readers. I apologize for the length once again but it is longer than my last chapter! Also if any of the characters seem well out of character please keep in mind I wrote this chapter in one shot between the hours of 5am and 9am in the same morning.

Disclaimer: The closest thing to owning them is my cover to the ending theme lol. Otherwise me no own, so you no sue!

Chapter 9: 'Don't judge me'

Shuichi stared at his temporary roommate's locked studio door utterly stunned. What the hell had just happened? Why was his heart beating so fast? He reached up to see if he still had a fever and to his relief his forehead felt normal temperature.

He reached up and touched his lips with the tip of his fingers still feeling the kiss lingering on them. It hadn't been anything like the kisses he had been lucky enough to get from Yuki. Yuki's kisses while gentle in a sense were a bit more firm and demanding. But the way Ryuichi had kissed him just now it was it couldn't be put it into words. He felt the need to figure it out and the only way to do that would be to kiss Ryuichi again but no, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Ryuichi had run from him without an explanation. True he was only on the other side of the door but the amount of distance didn't matter to the pinkette it was the reasoning behind it. He looked at the clock on the wall to see it was nearly 10:30 at night. If he was lucky his best friend' wouldn't be asleep yet. Walking into his no the guest bedroom he quickly changed out of the borrowed pajamas placed them along with the other borrowed clothing and quickly put on his own clothes. He found the lyrics sheet he had been writing on the day he had gotten sick glanced over the lyrics and moved to crumple the paper up and toss it in the trash.

But something stopped him. He had to at least thank Ryui- no Mr. Sakuma for his help and hospitality so he used the pen he had been writing with earlier-no having any idea where that notebook was- and wrote a short to the point note and placed it on the desk side table under the lamp. He closed the door to the room quietly and looked towards the direction of the home studio and found the door still closed. With a sigh he grabbed his bag of belongings from the closet shouldered them then headed out of the building with no intentions of going back.

Pulling out his cell he dialed a number from heart and after 3 rings someone picked up. A few words were exchanged and the receiver of the call agreed to meet him at the halfway pointing ten minutes. Shuichi allowed his feet to drag as he walked to the bridge and when he reached his destination he waited until he could hear the sound of a motorcycle. No words were exchanged as the driver handed him the spare helmet and the pinkette climbed on the back and wrapped his arms around the other man's waist.

Hiro could tell just by the grip from his best friend that it would probably be a good idea to drive around a little. The night air was warm and he had a full tank. Revving the engine a little he headed out towards one of the main roads with no particular destination in mind. He figures a long detour back to his apartment would be the perfect thing and he couldn't be more right. Only the sound of the engine did the talking between the two best friends.

Ryuichi couldn't believe it. Why did that kiss, that feeling of Shuichi in his arms have to feel so damn good? He had always tried to see things with a humorous happy angle. But the way his heart was feeling at that moment he couldn't be childish or giggly happy. He pulled Mr. Bear close to him and held him tightly having left him in the studio despite claiming earlier that all three of them should watch the movie.

A dry chuckle escaped his lips followed by a shuddering sigh. He had put himself into a position that he knew he would have to face sooner or later. Rising to his feet he walked over to his keyboard and began to press a few notes. He wasn't as talented as Noriko or Tohma but he knew how to play despite the fans believing he was only the vocalist of Nittle Grasper.

When no inspiration came he moved from the bench and decided to face his demons. Holding Mr. Bear tightly to his chest Ryuichi unlocked the studio door and walked out heading towards Shuichi's room. The door was shut but he lightly tapped on it and slowly opened it only to find the room empty. A wave of panic entered his mind and he ran towards the closet where he had let Shuichi store his belongings only to find the bag and clothes gone. He ran back into the room and looked on the bedside table. Under the lamp was a piece of paper. Unfolding it be read the contents and as he read he felt his eyes begin to mist over.

Dear Mr. Sakuma

I cannot thank you enough for your help and hospitality

But I am afraid I wore out my welcome quite a while ago.

After what happened tonight I am afraid I am leading you on

and that is the least of my intentions. With everything that happened

between Yuki and myself I am not sure if I can trust my heart right now.

Please keep in mind that I am not upset about the kiss. I did enjoy it

But my feelings- I just need time to think and I can't when I'm around you.

Thank you again and if anyone asks where I am just tell them I'm safe.

Forever grateful

Shuichi

Ryuichi noticed between the lines there was more writing on the other side and he turned it around to find halfway finished lyrics. He read over them and as he did be thought to the melody he had been working on the past few days. It had a ballad type feel one of the few for Nittle Grasper. He walked back to his studio and sat at his keyboard. Softly he began to play and sing the lyrics written on the paper….

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Hiro stopped in front of a local koubini and killed the engine. "I'm going to pick up something to drink, do you want anything?"

Shuichi climbed off the bike, "Um I don't have any money on me right now-"

"You idiot it's on me. Come on. You're probably hungry too. My place doesn't have much to eat right now so let's grab a bento and head to our park." Hiro said ruffling his best friend's hair, "We can lay on the grass and just chat way for the next hour or just watch the stars okay?"

Shuichi smiled, his first genuine smile in what seemed like forever and nodded, "Sounds good, thanks Hiro."

Hiro chuckled as he pulled the keys from the ignition pocketed them and led Shuichi into the koubini, "Go ahead pick out a bento for both of us. You know what I usually get. I'll get us the drinks."

When their purchases were made they headed back out and climbed back onto the bike. The engine revved again and Hiro mentally mapped out the route from their currently location to the park and within ten minutes they reached their destination. Killing the engine again Hiro climbed off and reached for the bags of goodies. The two headed towards the bunch of trees where they would often sit together and just talk. Hiro took off his light jacket and set it to the side as the two of them began to eat having given thanks for the food.

Shuichi ate from his bento slowly not wanting to risk getting sick again after only just recovering. His throat was still a little achy but his fever had gone and he didn't feel tired anymore just confused. He looked over at Hiro and smiled. His best friend for nearly a decade it seemed like. The two had been inseparable since they had first met and in his heart the lead singer of 'Bad Luck' hoped that would never change

Once they finished eating Hiro rolled up his jacket and used it as a makeshift pillow lying down on the soft grass and looking up at the surprisingly viewable stars. He lightly grunted when he felt Shuichi rest his own head on his chest and smiled faintly. "You know I'm ready to listen if you need to talk."

Shuichi's sigh was so dramatic it shook his entire body, "You won't judge me?"

"Not even if you give me a reason to." Hiro promised. "Now come on out with it. I know there's something bothering you. You only go quiet like this when you're upset. Did Mr. Sakuma treat you badly or something?"

Shuichi sat up fast and turned to face the redhead., "No, no nothing like that believe me. It's just, I'm scared right now, scared and confused."

"About what?"

"About my feelings for Yuki and Mr. Sakuma." Shuichi answered quietly.

The silence following the answer was surprisingly welcoming as Hiro pulled Shuichi's head back down on to his chest and gently ran his fingers through the smaller boy's hair. It was a simple gesture but enough to calm his best friend down if only for a short time. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, only that I will support you and whatever decision you make. All I ask in return is one thing."

Shuichi turned his head now curious, "What's that?"

"No matter what you choose just make sure it won't effect the band itself. I'm not talking about just the music and the industry I mean the bond we share." Hiro requested. "You're the whole heart and soul of Bad Luck and we need you okay?"

Shuichi smiled as he turned his head and gazed up at the stars. "Don't worry Hiro I won't let it happen."

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Tohma fished out his cellphone from his pocket and pressed speed dial 3. In minutes someone answered and the vice president of NG didn't waste any time. "What the hell did you do?"

A/N: Yeah I know I'm cruel! Now that I have a goal in mind I will be able to continue without hesitation now! If anyone wants me to continue 3 reviews = chapter 10!