Hey everyone, so sorry that I could not keep this story going. It has been a long year for me, I just got out of the hospital after being there for seven months. I was not allowed access to a computer so this is my first chance I have gotten to update my story. Please review and rate my story or I won't keep writing this fanfiction. I promise now that I will keep updating and stay on task. I have gotten lots of complaints about why I would abandon my stories, but I promise I will not continue to neglect this one.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock but I do own this plot.

John's POV

What I am doing? I don't know why I would be kissing her, I thought I hated her? I have to get out of here, I feel like I am suffocating.

"I-I need to l-leave.."

She looks at me with a concerned look in her eyes. "John, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I was just caught up in moment." "It's alright Irene, I just need to get some air, you can stay here if you want, I won't be more than an hour."

She nodded as I grabbed my jacket and rushed out of the door. The second I stepped outside I hailed a cabbie and told him to take me to St. Bart's hospital. I don't know why I wanted to go there, but I just needed some place quiet to think.

When we got there I stepped out and started walking up to the roof. As I reached the top of the stairs I opened the door and stepped into the cool night air. I though I could handle it, but the second I look at the ledge he jumped off of, I lost it. I ran towards the ledge and was about to jump, when I felt strong hands grab me and pull me in a searing hug.

"Please don't do this John, please."

My heart stopped as I heard his voice. It was the voice I had wanted to hear for a long time. I was afraid to turn around. He seemed so real, but it was not possible. The man that I had loved was next to me and I was too terrified to even look at him.

"John, please look at me, I need to see your face."

I could not deny his request, as I turned around I felt my heart swell as I locked eyes with the world's only consulting detective. "S-Sherlock, how..what..." At that moment I saw something that shocked me to my core, tears were flowing out of his gorgeous eyes. He looked absolutely miserable.

"J-John I, I am so sorry, but please...don't do this." He looked like he was ready to pass out. He was thin and pale, and the tears that were spilling onto his shirt made him look so broken. "Please, don't...I can't watch you"

I was shocked, I was being held by Sherlock, the man I was deeply in love with. I knew he should be the one who was apologizing to me right now, but he just looked so broken and I just wanted to make him feel better.

"Oh Sherlock...It's ok, I wont jump."

A choked sob leaves his lips and he clings tighter to me. I want to stay like this forever. I misses his presence so much. He looks up at me again, and I see how miserable he looks. At that moment, all my emotions burst out of the seams and I kissed him hard.

He seemed stunned, but a few seconds later he was returning the pressure against my lips and it felt amazing. "John..." that moan did it. I pushed him onto the floor and climbed on top of him and started furiously making out with him. It felt like I was kissing him to make sure he was still there.

"John...oh god John." I wanted to stay like this forever, but I needed to get some answers, about why he left me, why he made me suffer. I reluctantly pulled off of him.

"Sherlock, I am so glad you are back, don't get me wrong, I have been begging for you to return since I saw you jump off this building. However, you have some explaining to do."

"Ok John, I understand, c-can we go home..." Those words cut through me like a knife. He wanted to go home. He would move back into 221B, everything would be fine.

"Of course Sherlock...lets go home." We got up and started walking out of the hospital and I hailed a cabbie. The entire ride was silent and when we finally arrived at Baker Street, we were still not talking. Once we got up the stairs I was relieved to see that Irene had left. There was a note on the counter and I picked it up.

John,

I followed you, worried that you would do something drastic, when I saw him follow you up to the roof. I know you care for him, and I know that what happened between us was nothing but depression and the need to feel love again. Please, don't let him go, and I will be back to visit my favorite detective and doctor again soon.

Irene Adler

The Woman

I smiled slightly at the note and then turned around to see Sherlock looking around the flat with a look of comfort in his eyes. "I didn't have the heart to move any of your stuff. I needed to keep the flat looking like it did before you left." It was true, none of his stuff was moved. The only thing that changed was the box of heroine and pills under my bed.

"Alright Sherlock, explain." He sat down on the couch and looked up at me.

"Ok, well it started when I realized that I was going to die. I was scared and nervous, but I knew that I had to go through with it, because it was the only way to keep Moriarty from hurting the people I loved. I went to talk to Molly, she understood my problem and agreed to help me. We were originally going to call the police once Moriarty was on the roof, but he was one step ahead of me. He told me that he had snippers pointed at , Lestrade, and you. I was terrified, I could not let you die. After Moriarty killed himself on the roof to prevent me from freeing you three. I needed to form a plan quickly. While I was on the phone with you, I was texting directions to Molly. She drove a van with pillows and cushions up on the street to cushion my fall. When I landed in the van, I threw a body double out onto the street. We had someone from the lab hit you with a bike so you would have a mild concussion and not be able to tell that it was not me. After that, I used Mycroft's people to locate the rest of Moriarty's web and destroyed them. I got back to London, just in time to see you go up to that building. The only thing getting me through was the thought that you were safe, and alive. If you had killed yourself, then it would have made everything I worked for meaningless. I did what I had to do to keep you safe John, I can't lose you...I love you."

By the end of his explanation, I was in shock, I could feel the tears falling freely from my eyes. He saw the tears and his eyes widened as he ran over to me. "J-John please don't cry..I don't ever want to see you cry. I can leave if you want me to, just please don't cry..."

I moved over so I could hug him, and I pulled him into a tight embrace which he returned. "Oh Sherlock...I love you too. You are not going anywhere. Not without me anyway."

Suddenly, I felt my stomach lurch, and I felt hot and sweaty. I pulled off of him and rushed up to my bedroom. I could here him following after me shouting "JOHN, are you alright?!"

I ignored him as I made my way into my bathroom with the needles. But, as I tried to inject myself with the drug, I thought of Sherlock. He was back, and I should not be doing this to myself. I should not be doing this. By this time, Sherlock had broken down the door and ran into my bathroom. I heard him gasp as he saw my state. I was curled up in the corner with a needle pointed at my arm, crying.

"S-Sherlock..I-I" He swooped down next to me and help me close.

"John, I am so sorry. I am so sorry. But, I am here now, please forgive me. I will help you through this."

"S-Sherlock..don't hate me. Don't leave me again...I can't do it again"

I saw his face change, he looked so paranoid. "John, I will never hurt you again. I will protect you through thick and thin. Please don't cry. I don't hate you."

I was begging to regain control of my body, when another round of intense tremors shook me to my core and I clung to Sherlock as my body went out of control.

"Oh, John I hate sing you in pain...but withdraw is hard...I will be with you every step of the way."

I felt horrible, I was clinging to Sherlock like a child. He was whispering soothing words in my hair and rubbing my back. "I-I love you Sherlock Holmes."

"And I love you John Watson."

R AND R! please tell me that I am doing a good job with the story.