Tomorrow came fast, and fortunately I wasn't woken up with any terrible news, and Austin was yet again still sleeping beside me. I can't help but smile at his, whatever this is. I lie down on my back in my spot, with my head resting on Austin's arm.
I find myself daydreaming about home; my light blue room with clouds on the ceiling, (I'm in a cloud watcher's club, so I really like clouds) my soft twin bed that felt like a big thing of cotton candy compared to how I have been sleeping since the crash. I think of my golden retriever Daisy, her soft long fur and the way she always jumped on my small frame and licked my face when I came home from school. I even miss my dad, even though he would annoy the crap out of me sometimes. But I miss his pep talks and how he would always cheer me up when I was down. I'm just downright homesick.
"What are you thinking about?" Austin asks.
I jump slightly, not aware that he was even awake. I turn my head to him and he smiles, "I didn't mean to scare you." He says.
"It's okay, I didn't know you were up that's all." I say.
"Yeah, I was kind of watching you, sorry." Austin says.
"It's okay." I say.
His body shifts a little, "So, what were you thinking about?" he asks.
I sigh, "I was just thinking about home."
He nods and stares up at the ceiling, "What about it?" He asks me.
"I was thinking of my comfortable bed, and my dog, and even my dad." I say.
"I miss my bed too, and all my guitars." He says and sighs.
"We have a guitar here, remember?" I ask.
"I know, but I just don't have any ambition to sing and play here." He says.
"I thought you didn't sing?" I ask and prompt myself up on my elbows, grinning at him.
His face turns a tomato shade of red, "I don't." He says.
"You're such a liar!" I say.
He rolls his eyes at me and sits up, "Shut up." He says.
"Sing for me." I say softly.
He shakes his head, "I don't know…"
"Okay." I say in a disappointed tone as I stand up. I start to walk out of the plane and he grabs my wrist. I stop and turn around to him, trying not to cringe from the soft touch on my aching bruises from Thomas.
"I've only song in front of one person, an ex of mine that I cared a lot about. Singing in front of someone is like me opening my heart out to them. I haven't done it since." He says lowly.
I nod at him and walk out then, not knowing what to think of what he just said. It proves to me that he's more special to me than I am to him, but I can't say that I didn't expect it. I don't know any guy that's liked me, or been in love with me even, I think that's just impossible. I'm just plain old Ally Dawson.
I start to think that Thomas was right about Austin, but I quickly push that out of my head. I need to focus on living, not living for a boy who doesn't think the same way about me. The twins run up to me, tugging on my shirt, and they say "Come with us to the river!" together perfectly.
I think about saying no, but I have nothing better to do. I nod with a smile and let them drag me with them, with Wanda not far behind, which I'm glad about. I'm not sure I would be able to handle this two on my own.
When we get there, Wanda and I watch the twins jump around in the water and have a ball. That's another reason that I wish I could be there age, they just go and have fun and don't worry about all the things we have to worry about.
Wanda sits down on a rock and I join her. I still feel like me and her are strangers, since we've rarely talked here and even less back at school. I don't know anything about her, other than if she were to ever have kids she will be a great mother.
When the twins are done swimming, we head back to camp. We were gone for a while and when we get back the sun starts to set, so Frank starts the fire. I sit in between the twins, feeling odd about not sitting next to Austin, but we have not talked since this morning, and there is a weird feeling in the air between us.
The twins keep my thoughts occupied, talking about everything possible, changing subjects fast, getting distracted by a squirrel running by. I can feel a distant headache, and my broken wrist has been throbbing a lot today. About an hour into the fire, I feel completely exhausted, so I say goodnight out loud to everyone and head into the plane. No one is in here, so I figure the quietness will either freak me out or help me fall asleep.
I lie down, and keep Austin's blanket on his side for him later. I cuddle up to my backpack and close my eyes. Not hearing the others breathing, or snoring from Frank, is a weird feeling. I know that I won't be falling asleep until they all I come to bed. It's weird, I've been used to sleeping alone for so long, and now I can't stand it. If I ever do get to go home, I'm going to be so different, and I don't like that idea.
I hear footsteps walking into the plane, and I expect it to be Daniel, or Rick because they are usually the first ones to go sleep, but I feel someone lie down beside me and I realize its Austin. I'm facing the wall of the plane, so my backs to him, and I don't know If I want to turn around or not.
I decide upon pretending to be asleep, but it doesn't last long when I feel Austin's arm wrap around my waist, and his chest against my back. I don't move, I just let him hold me, wondering what happened between him and that girl. I thought that kiss changed things between us. It meant a lot to me, and I thought that's when he was going to open up to me, but he isn't ready. He is just sending me mixed signals that I have to not think about.
His face snuggles up into the back of my neck and I feel his warm breath, and it sends chills down my spine. The closeness like this to him makes me go crazy, but I don't show it. Does he know what he does to me? I know that that answer is no.
"Ally," He whispers against my neck, sending those chills through me again.
I mumble, "Mm." and I feel a smile on my neck now.
He starts to run his fingers on up and down my arm, and I suddenly find it very soothing. I feel myself go in a daze, and before I know it, his lips are on my neck. He's kissing my neck. What does he think he's doing? Why am I not stopping him? Well maybe because it feels really good, and maybe that's because I'm half asleep.
I roll over onto my back, and look at him, "What are you"- but I'm interrupted by his lips crushing against mine. His kiss surprises me, and I can't help myself from kissing back. His lips on my neck already got me feeling crazy. Before I know it, I feel his hand slip under my shirt, and that's when I pull away.
"No." I whisper.
Austin turns onto his back and face palms himself, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."
"It's okay." I say.
I wait for the room to start spinning, for me to become dizzy, because my thoughts are going crazy about what just happened. We've slept next to each other plenty of times and he's never done this. And just this morning he said how he has only cared about that other girl.
"It's not. I shouldn't have done that." He says.
"You didn't do anything." I say.
"Well you pushed me away and said no, that defiantly means I did something that I shouldn't have." He says.
"It's not that you did anything wrong and it's not that I wanted to stop exactly, it's just…" I say. I don't know how to say the thing I want to say so I stop there.
"What?" Austin asks.
"Forget it." I tell him and roll over onto my side again. We go silent after that, and the space between us feels cold as we both drift off to sleep eventually, at least I assume that he did.
When I wake up, no one's in the plane. I sigh loudly, thinking of how just yesterday morning I was so happy that Austin didn't leave me in the morning anymore, but I guess that's out the window. I know that a lot of things in my life are too good to be true, and it actually just sucks.
I sit up, suddenly not wanting to leave this plane at all today, but I can't look weak. I can't let a boy bring me down, that's just not going to happen. I grab a clean t-shirt and shorts that I haven't worn yet, and change quickly before someone comes in, and when I'm done I walk outside.
Everyone is in a circle around something, and they seem to all be yelling at each other. I don't know what stopped me from hearing this earlier while inside, but I jog over and join them. I don't know what I expected to see really, I thought maybe someone got hurt, the way every one was reacting, but when I get over there, and I understand what's going on. People are yelling at each other, blaming each other, and what I see them all circled around is, our last bit of food to hold us over, the bin that's always in the plane; completely tore up, all the food ruined, chewed on, ripped apart.
The twins are crying, I'm assuming from all the shouting and harsh words escaping out of everyone's mouths. Wanda's face matches the twins, and then everyone else is saying it's her fault. The noise, the words, it's aggravating me, and they aren't stopping while the twins beg them too. I can't believe Austin is even involved in this. I can't take it any second longer. I push threw them and stand in the middle, on top of the rubbish, "What the hell is going on!" I scream at the top of my lungs. They stop, all of them, even the twins and Wanda stop crying, and they just stare at me, a little shocked at my action.
"The food is ruined." Frank hisses at me.
"Wanda left it out last night!" Daniel yells.
"No I didn't!" Wanda cries, and the noise starts again.
"Hey!" I scream loudly again, "Shut up!" I say.
Austin's mouth drops at me, and then a smile appears on his face and I decide I will question that later, for now, "Do you guys hear yourselves? Look what you're doing to the twins, and Wanda. You're making me sick!" I say.
"She left it out all night, and now something got to it and we are going to starve!" Daniel says.
"Don't you think we should be worrying about what did this, not who left it out? This defiantly doesn't look like a small sized animal, we're dealing with something bigger here and maybe we could find out if you put in as much effort as you do to blame." I say.
"Maybe you're just saying this to cover up the fact that you left it out!" Rick says.
I turn to him in disbelief, and Austin speaks up, "Hey, don't you dare try to blame Ally. She hasn't touched the bin because she hardly eats anyway," he says and turns to me, "You're getting too skinny."
I shrug it off, because I am not in the mood to discuss my health issues, "Rick, I could say the same thing about you, but I could care less who left the food out. We need to stick together and find food to live on and try to find a way to get home." I say.
"Yeah like we are going to find any of that, I have never seen anything edible when I'm out in the woods, and there is no way of getting home." Daniel says.
I'm surprised at how they are acting, I have never seen either boys negative or well, mean, since we've got here. Now I know why they stick together here and in school, they are very much alike.
"If we all try, together, we will make it." I tell them.
Daniel and Rick roll their eyes at me and walk away, while Wanda takes the twins to the plane. Tiffany hadn't said much at all, just stood there with odd expressions, almost like she's feeling a bit guilty. It makes me actually want to think that she is the one that left the bin outside, but like I said, I'm not here to blame anybody.
Austin walks off too, and I'm suddenly struck with remembering the weird air between us, and I feel a tinge of sadness, but I try to ignore it. Frank nods at me, I'm assuming he's nodding in approval, but I don't ask, and he walks away too. Tiffany stays still for a moment before going towards the plane, and I'm still in my spot, like my feet at stuck in the dirt, and I stare at the pile of garbage.
I know how tough I was acting a few moments ago, but I can't help the terrible feeling I have in the pit of my stomach that things are going to become a lot worse than I ever imagined.