A/N: Diiiinnnng doooooooong motherf***ers! *Ahem * Sorry…having another Boondock Saints marathon since it's too hot to go outside…hehe.

So in this chapter, our characters are waking up from the night before and they both have a lot on their minds. We get a little more in depth with where each of them is coming from as well. Rick and Sasha make appearances in this chapter too. I really think that having them interact with the other characters just makes the dialog and flashbacks richer.

Also, a HUGE thanks for the reviews and messages. You guys are totally on track with me as far as what I'm trying to get across, which is freaking amazing! My only goal in doing this was to do these characters justice and try to portray what I think they might be feeling, so I love that you all think it's worthy of reading

Okay, enough chatter…I need to go watch some more gun-slinging McManus brothers action now! *giggles like a total fangirl*

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own imagination.

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Ch5.

Carol woke up early the next day still feeling wiped out. It felt like she hadn't really slept at all. She'd spent most of the night running circles in her mind, trying to figure out what to say to Daryl. If she had just dealt with it last night like she knew she should have, it wouldn't have been so hard to settle down.

She needed to get things resolved with him before she left, and then she'd feel better. Heading down for breakfast, she immediately noticed he wasn't there, which meant that he was still off somewhere pouting. It reminded her of how Ed used to act back while they were still dating. He hadn't been abusive then, but he definitely knew how to throw a fit when he wanted attention. Eventually, once he'd gotten what he wanted from her, their relationship had taken a turn for the violent side. While she didn't really believe that Daryl would ever lash out enough to hit her, he'd come close a couple of times. Those were the moments when she knew he was having a major internal battle over right and wrong. Daryl despised men like her husband, but if he'd have chosen a different path in life, he could just as easily have been the one in Ed's shoes.

She figured he had to be at least a little more reasonable about it now, so after breakfast she headed back to her cell to freshen up before heading down to the field to talk to him. As she reached for her bag, she was surprised to see something sticking out of the side pocket. She pulled it out; gasping immediately when she recognized what it was.

Daryl's hunting knife.

There was a folded piece of paper sitting right next to it. She made her way back over to the cot to sit down before she attempted to read it. With shaky hands, she unfolded the letter.

Figured you might need this. Make sure to bring it back with you.

Daryl

He had been in her room last night. Maybe he'd come back to talk to her after she'd fallen asleep. He'd obviously changed his mind about her going on the trip. This must have been his peace offering to her, although his insistence that she also survive through the trip wasn't lost in its translation. She needed to go and thank him, but before she had a chance to, she saw a shadow by the door.

"Carol?" It was Tyreese's sister, Sasha. She looked concerned. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

The poor girl looked as tired as she did. Apparently no one slept last night. "Sure."

She stepped into the small room. "No offense to your people, but I'm worried about sending my brother out there with a bunch of folks he barely knows. We lost the rest of our group to biters and crazy people, so it's not exactly helping my anxiety levels."

Carol gestured to her to sit. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"Yeah. He said he has to go to show them the way, but he won't let me come along either." She shrugged. "I know he's trying not to put me in danger, but we work better as a team. If he goes out there and doesn't come back…"

"I completely understand." Carol interrupted her. "I've lost a lot of people too. He's all you have left for family."

Sasha looked uncomfortable. "I heard you lost your husband and daughter. I can't imagine what it must be like."

"Losing my daughter was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Losing my husband…was a blessing from God." Carol breathed in deeply. "He was abusive."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's all right. I need to start talking about it so I can get over my anger." She smirked. "At least, that's what they used to say back when therapists existed."

Sasha attempted a smile. "Look, I know I haven't been the warmest with you, but it's only because I'm hesitant to trust people anymore. I guess what I'm asking is that you look out for him. Of all the people going, I trust you the most."

Carol appreciated the compliment. "I can do that."

"Thanks." Sasha stood up to leave. "I should get going and let you pack for the trip. You probably have a lot to do before you leave."

"Yeah, no kidding."

Sasha hesitated. "I know it's none of my business, but I have to ask. Are you and Daryl together?"

Carol didn't know why, but the question made her somewhat irritated. "No, we're just friends."

"He didn't seem like you were just his friend last night when he ordered you not to go."

"Daryl thinks that he has to protect me from the world." She sighed, shaking her head. "Even now, he thinks that if he doesn't go along, something will happen to me. I've let him save me more times than I can count, but this time, I need to save myself."

Sasha smiled in sympathy. "Well I hope you find whatever you're looking for out there."

"Thanks." She looked down at the knife sitting on her bag and the paper in her hand. "Me too."

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Daryl was grumpy. He hadn't slept all night, and without any pain killers, both his head and his ankle were throbbing painfully. He'd thought about shuffling up to the prison to get some food and aspirin, but then he'd probably end up having to explain his actions from last night to everyone in there.

Damn people. Can't mind their own business.

He'd been hiding out in the tent most of the morning, but that was getting old real fast. As much as he tried not to think about what happened last night, it weighed heavily on his mind. He knew he'd overreacted, but he was never any good at admitting it. He could never get the words out right. He'd gone back to his tent and sat there for two straight hours trying to figure out what the hell to say to her. To make matters worse, by the time he'd gotten back inside to say it, she was already asleep. He noticed that she had been curled up in a ball on the cot. He used to sleep like that as a kid. Figured it was a reflex from always knowing that someone was gonna try and hurt him. She must've done the same thing, only this time it wasn't Ed she was scared of. It was him.

Daryl hated himself for making her feel threatened like that. It killed him to think that she'd ever think he could hurt her. He'd jump in front of a bullet for this woman. Even after all she'd put him through, it would still be worth it. Suddenly, he knew a way that he could keep her safe and still let her know that he was watching out for her.

He may not have had a bullet, but he did have a knife.

Reaching down for the sheath, he unhooked it from his belt. His hunting knife had saved him more times than he could count, and now it was going to bring Carol luck. He placed it right on the side of her bag so she wouldn't leave it behind. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen off the boxes she'd been using as a desk and jotted a quick note to go with it. Then he'd left the cell quietly and headed back outside. He just hoped that it would be enough.

"Daryl? It's Rick. Can I come in?"

Daryl drove the memory from his head at the sound of his friend beckoning him. He pushed the flap to the tent open and saw Rick crouched down on his level.

"'Sup?"

He had a bowl. "Brought you some food. Figured you didn't want to make the long trek up to the kitchen."

Daryl's stomach growled in appreciation. "Thanks man."

"I asked Glenn to take your shift on guard duty tonight too. Don't think you should be trying to walk around with you ankle the way it is. Don't want to make it worse."

He wanted to argue that he was fine, but he knew that Rick was stressed out enough about the trip. He didn't want to add to his already growing list of issues. Instead he compromised.

"I'll take one of his shifts next week to make up for it."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"You still goin'?"

Rick looked exhausted. "Yeah, I need to. I'm not going to order people out to a new area by themselves and not have a guilty conscious if something happens. Carl's not real happy with me about it but I'm not risking his life on top of mine."

"I'll keep an eye on him for ya. He's just angry and confused like the rest of us."

"Thanks, I appreciate it. With all that boy's gone through this year, I worry about how it will affect him later down the road." Rick grimaced. "I didn't raise him to end up a man like the Governor, but it's so easy to get that way when you're filled with hate."

"He won't end up like that. He's got a good head on his shoulders." Daryl reassured. "Might be mad right now, but eventually he'll come 'round."

"I guess you know what that feels like don't ya?"

Daryl chuckled. He probably knew better than anyone what Carl was going through right now, only he'd never had a dad like Rick to make him feel like he was good enough. If he had, maybe he woulda made something of his life, but there was no sense in wishing for something that couldn't be. He'd managed to get along pretty well in this world without it anyway.

"We're survivors. So are you."

"I don't feel like it." Rick sighed heavily. "Some days, I feel like I should've died a long time ago."

They'd all been there are one time or another, wondering what the point was in going on. But in those times, Rick had fought to keep them going, even if it meant risking his own life in the process. Daryl was pissed as anything to find out that Merle'd been left on that rooftop in Atlanta, but Rick owned up to his mistake and went back for him. He'd seen countless numbers of people he cared about get killed at the hands of walkers. He'd put down Sophia at the barn when no one else could man up, and then had to kill his own best friend when he'd become a threat to the group. It was no wonder he'd taken a ride to crazy town after Lori died. How many times could one man be forced to do so many things he despised and not go insane?

"You goin' out there to prove somethin'?"

He paused. "I need to know that I can still handle the role of being the leader of this group. If I can't, I might just have to ask you and Glenn to step up for me."

Daryl was shocked. "Me? A leader? Naw, I'd kill everyone."

Rick grinned. "I think you'd make a good one. Just because you're used to playing the sidekick role doesn't mean you don't have it in you. The people in this camp trust you. They look to you for guidance. That's exactly what a leader should be."

Rick could talk all he wanted, but there was no way he'd ever convince Daryl that he was leader material. After his little tantrum the night before, he doubted anyone'd ever come to him for advice again. Probably worried he'd stick an arrow through their skull if they pissed him off. Hell…he was more worried he'd actually do it.

"You're full of shit man."

"You're not the only one who thinks so."

"They're assholes." Daryl defended. "You've kept us alive this long. Anyone who says different can answer to me."

"Spoken like a true leader."

"Shut up." He spat.

Rick chuckled, but then got serious. "I'm glad I have you to back me up. Even when no one else believes in me, I know you do."

Daryl felt like Rick had already given in to his fears. "You are coming back, ain't ya? Promised me you'd keep Carol safe."

"I did and I meant it. She's got a lot to prove to herself, just like me, but she seems to spend most of her time worryin' about how it will affect you." Rick looked him straight in the eye. "She took it real hard when she thought you weren't coming back. It made her see the world in a different way I think."

"I let her down." Daryl felt like shit. He'd yelled at her when he should've been yelling at himself. "But I'm gonna try to make it up to her."

Rick empathized. "You will, but right now she's trying to prove that she can handle herself without you, and I don't see nothing wrong with that."

"Nothin' wrong with it as long as she stays alive."

"She will." Rick put his hand up in oath. "I swear to you right now Daryl, come hell or high water, I will bring her back."

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Despite being tired and sluggish, the day had gone by quicker than Carol had expected. She'd never gotten to go work things out with Daryl as she'd planned because when she had tried, he'd been talking to Rick at the time. She'd attempted a few other times during the day, but something had always come up that needed her attention right at that moment. The sun had started to set in the sky and she knew she had a long day ahead of her in the morning. She needed to go down and talk to Daryl now before she completely chickened out.

To her surprise, he wasn't in his tent when she went down to find him. She was pretty sure he hadn't been up to the prison all day since people had been sending down food for him. After a few minutes of looking around, she saw him sitting down on the edge of the dock by the water near the fence. Rick had gone there a lot when he was having his issues, but she didn't suspect that he went down there much. It looked like a place that couples would go to talk and hold hands. She giggled internally at the thought of her and Daryl going there together.

Ha! That'd be the day.

She made her way hesitantly to where he was, not exactly sure what she could expect when she got there. To her genuine surprise, he actually looked happy to see her.

"You all packed?"

"I'm getting there." She sat down right next to him and dangled her feet over the edge of the dock. "I saw you left me a present."

"It's just to borrow. I want it back."

She smiled, understanding what he'd been trying to say. "Gives me good incentive to come back alive, doesn't it?"

"That knife's gotten me through a lot of tough times." He said simply. "It'll keep you safe."

"Well thank you for trusting me with it."

"I'd trust you with my life."

She looked over at him pensively, almost afraid that if she moved he might try to bolt out of his seat. He was staring down at the water and looked completely terrified by what had just come out of his mouth. She realized that he probably hadn't said those words to many people in his lifetime. She was one of the very rare few.

"That means a lot Daryl."

"Yeah, well…" He shrugged. "I haven't exactly been so nice to ya lately. Don't want you going off thinking you need to prove something to me by getting yourself killed."

Carol shook her head. "I'm not doing this to prove anything to anyone except myself. I love that you always come riding up to save me on your shiny motorcycle, but what if you're not there the one time I need you most? I have to be able to handle things for myself. Can you understand that?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I get it. But it don't mean that I'm going nowhere neither."

"I don't want you to."

He finally looked up at her now, his eyes boring directly into hers. She stared back with determination, not letting him think for one moment that she wasn't completely serious. He needed to hear this whether he wanted to or not.

"You should go get packed." He said finally; his voice was gruff like he'd been holding something back. "Rick wants to leave at first light tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know." She stretched out her legs in front of her. "You can stay in my cell while I'm gone if you want. It's probably gonna stay pretty hot out here for a while."

"I'll be all right." He kicked the edge of the dock, looking a little sad. "Be safe out there tomorrow. Don't do anything stupid."

She nudged him playfully. "When do I ever do stupid things?"

"Just make sure you come back, all right?"

The sun was setting quickly, and she knew she had to get back to the prison, but she hated to leave him there looking so miserable. Without a rational thought left in her head, she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. It must have startled him because he turned slightly just as her lips reached him, and she got the corner of his mouth in the process. She pulled back quickly, hoping it hadn't freaked him out. He definitely looked surprised, but he didn't move away either. They stared at each other for another moment before she finally looked away, blushing. She quickly stood and started to walk away, pausing at the edge of the dock to look back once.

"You won't even know I'm gone."

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Daryl sat on the dock well into the night trying to wrap his head around what the hell had happened. He'd imagined the whole thing. He had to have imagined it. For all the crap he'd given her last night, he didn't deserve anything. Especially not a kiss.

Shit, women are confusing.

He'd let her win one damn argument and all of a sudden he was a decent guy. What if she got out there and decided that she didn't want him no more. What if she decided that she'd rather be with Rick? Or worse, that Tyreese guy. What chance did he have then?

Shit, shit, shit.

Now hecouldn't stop thinking about her. The sun had turned orange in the sky and when it shone on her, it almost looked like she had a halo or something. When he'd told her he'd trust her with his life, she'd looked at him like he'd given her a damn medal of honor or something! Then, she'd told him she didn't want him to leave, and his stomach did cartwheels. Actual goddamn cartwheels!

FUCK!

He eventually got up off the dock and staggered his way angrily back to the tent. His mouth still tingled where she'd kissed him too. He didn't care what she said. He'd know she was gone, and he'd be counting the minutes until she got back. What really worried him was what he might do when he saw her again.

It's official. I'm a big-ass pussy.

A/N: Awwwww Daryl can be such a softie! I love trying to figure out exactly what is going on in his head. I know it's got to be a major tug of war happening in there. I also threw in a little kissy-wissy, which totally makes me run around the room squealing like a five-year-old. *hehehehe* For the next chapter, Carol's gonna get the chance to go out and prove herself once and for all, so stay tuned!