A/N: Hello geeks! I do not mean that in a derogatory way either. I am very proud to be a geek, and I assume that most of you are as well. If you do not consider yourself a geek…well…you're totally missing out 8-P
Thank you for all the well wishes on my health. I am happy to say that the worst of my cold is now over (thank frak) but compiled on top of that this week was some family drama, so it's been longer than I wanted it to be before I could update again. I would like to send shout-outs to my reviewers-Peta2, vickih, AffairWithACrossbow, itsi3, BanannaFlvdSnow, and LaurenEmilyxx for making me feel much loved for this past chapter…I also got major kudos from newcomer Ferdy 63, who totally made my day by telling me I should write for the show! It made me feel super happy in a time when I needed it most, so thank you for that, and YES PLEASE LET ME GET THAT JOB!
So this was definitely a chapter that I have been messing around with for a long time. It never seemed to come out the way I wanted it to, so it's been altered numerous times (my friends Lia and Bethann can attest to this) but now I'm pretty happy with it. Plus, once I post something online and people read it, I can't change it anymore! Good incentive to get it right before I regret my decision!
Anyway, that's all for now…LLACO.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead…but I totally should totally write for them. Most. Epic. Job. Ever.
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Ch18.
The following few days were pretty uneventful for Daryl, mostly because all he did was sit around and wait. Carol was still in an out of consciousness depending on how much pain she was in, and he knew that if he went off to do anything else, he'd just be worried about her.
Rick had told him that they'd been putting off the funeral until she was well enough to attend, but they couldn't wait much longer. As pathetic as it was, Daryl half wished that they'd have just done it by now without Carol knowing, but he knew she'd never forgive him if he let that happen. Truthfully, the memory of having to see the grave that had once been designated for her was doing fucked up things to his head. He'd woken up in a cold sweat multiple times since the accident from nightmares of seeing her rotted corpse crawling out of the dirt to kill him.
She hadn't seen it yet, and part of him hoped she never would.
Trying to get his mind off the image, Daryl looked over to check on the woman sleeping in the cot next to him. The doc would probably be coming to check up on her soon. He'd had lost track of time in this tiny space, but he figured it was probably close to noon time by now. He'd basically set up camp in the room. His plans to find his own space had been put on hold for the moment until he knew when Carol was gonna get out of here. In the meantime, he'd found a spare cot and grabbed some clothes and books he could read while he waited around. He'd just picked up one and was slowly flipping through it when he heard the mattress creak.
"Of Mice and Men huh?" She said, looking over at him. "I thought you might like that one."
"I like that it's short." He said, tossing the book aside. "How you feelin'?"
"Not too bad."
"You ain't just sayin' that so I'll stop askin', are ya?"
"Some days I do, but today I mean it." She propped an extra pillow under her head. "You know you really don't have to stay with me all the time."
He shrugged. "What else've I got to do?"
"I know there are plenty of things you'd rather be doing." She fidgeted until she was comfortable. "Sitting around and waiting isn't your strong suit."
"I'm gettin' better at it."
"Well you're probably going to have plenty of practice at it. I don't think I'll be up and dancing anytime soon."
Daryl chuckled. "You dance?"
She threw him a look. "Sometimes…not recently."
"To what?"
"Whatever was on the radio."
He had to admit he was curious. "What kinda music you like?"
She thought back. "All kinds…The Beatles were a favorite…Stones too…"
"So nothing from this side of the pond then?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then keep goin'."
"Uh, I liked Aerosmith…Tom Waits…oh, and Skynyrd of course." She smiled. "My high school sweetheart and I used to make out to Free Bird."
He snorted. "Everyone used to make out to that song."
He face drooped slightly. "I guess it's gonna be quiet around here now. Beth was the only one who used to sing for us…I'll miss that."
Dammit. Now he regretted even bringing up the subject. One thing he'd been very careful not to do in front of Carol was talk about things that might upset her. Plus, thought of not hearing the girl's sweet voice again was like a kick to the gut.
"I can sing for ya."
Carol laughed at him. "You? Sing?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Have you ever sung a day in your life?"
He shrugged. "Now's as good a time as any to start."
She was really laughing now. He might've been insulted by it normally, but right now it was the best sound in the world. It seemed like forever since he'd heard her laugh. Hell it was almost contagious. He was just about to tell her to calm down before she pulled her stitches, but a shadow appeared in front of the door.
"Knock knock."
Daryl wasn't too surprised to see Rick standing there. He'd been coming to check on the both of them every day now. He usually kept it quick so that Carol didn't get too overwhelmed. Sometimes when she was asleep, he and Rick would catch up on things. Daryl had never really had a buddy he could talk to about stuff before, so it was something pretty new to him.
"You're just in time." Carol smiled at him. "Daryl's going to sing for us."
Rick raised an eyebrow. "Really? Do you take requests?"
"Shut up." He spat sarcastically. "I ain't singin' for your sorry ass."
Rick frowned. "Apparently I'm not pretty enough."
"You're pretty to me." She tried to soothe his ego. "Daryl's just jealous."
"Well, I guess I'll just have to wait to hear him regale us with a tune then." Rick said, suddenly looking more serious. "I um…I actually came with some news on Beth's memorial."
The sense of ease Daryl had been feeling quickly high-tailed itself right out again. This was the conversation he'd been dreading for days. Carol's face straightened and gestured for Rick to come over. Rick looked over at Daryl, acknowledging what he already knew. Neither of them thought that she should make the trek down to the field. They'd talked it out the night before, but Rick had told him that he didn't want to get in the middle of anything between them. Daryl knew that talking her out of it wasn't gonna be easy, but he hadn't figured out a way to do it yet either. He was hoping he'd have more time.
"Herschel and Maggie would like to have it tomorrow at sunset. She's in the process of being buried now, so it will be a very short ceremony. Glenn's gonna do most of the speaking and they've asked Sasha to sing one of Beth's favorite songs."
"I think Beth would love that." Carol was smiling, but he knew it was halfhearted. "Please let them know that I will be there, and I will be happy to help in any way that I can."
Rick nodded and walked back towards the door. "I will, but I think it's all taken care of. I'll let you two sort out the rest. Let me know if there's anything you need."
"Thank you Rick."
"Yeah, thanks…" Daryl knew he sounded sarcastic, and that Carol was probably going to pick up on it. One thing he'd learned in their few weeks together was how quickly she could sense what he was feeling. As soon as Rick left, she was on him like a dog on a bone.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothin'."
"I know you're angry." Carol sat up further against the wall. "You always get defensive."
"I ain't defensive." Daryl sniped, knowing it wasn't helping his case. "Just hate funerals."
"Everyone hates funerals." She stated. "If you don't want to go down for the service, I'll understand."
"You shouldn't be goin' down there neither." He said bluntly. "The field's on a hill and it's not easy to maneuver. You could fall and hurt yourself worse."
She looked amused. "This from the man who sprained his ankle putting up a tent?"
"That was different."
"How?"
"Just was."
She sighed. "You know, sometimes I still think that you see me as this weak woman that can't handle being on my own unless you're there to protect me."
He was definitely getting irritated. "Did I say that?"
"No, but it's what you're thinking." She was being serious. "Tell me the truth. What's the real reason you don't want me going down there?"
He hadn't lied about hating funerals, but there was more to it that he wasn't looking forward to confessing. Now that he knew the true story about what had happened down in the tombs, thinking about the outcome just brought up fresh memories of how they'd lost Sophia. Carol had barely grieved for her little girl, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the similarities hit her like a ton of bricks. He knew she'd thought of Beth like her own daughter, so the guilt had to be eating her alive. He felt just as guilty for the part he'd played in the situation. What if she blamed him just as much?
"Just don't see why you wanna go down there and get yourself all worked up again." He said simply. "Ain't gonna do you no good."
She shook her head. "Daryl, she and I went through a lot together down there and I need to say goodbye. I thought you understood that."
"I do." He decided to try and bargain. "But ya don't gotta stand in a pile of dirt to say goodbye. Beth'll be with ya from wherever you are, just like Sophia is."
She sighed. "I know that Beth and Sophia are with me. I trust that they're up there together in heaven, happier than they ever could have been in this world. I'd also like to think that Lori's up there too, watching over both of them for me."
"She is." Daryl reassured. "They're all up there watchin' over us."
Carol smiled and reached for his hand. "I know you're worried about my ability to walk down there in this condition, but I really want to go down for the ceremony. I promise that if it's too much I'll let you bring me back, but can you please try and support my decision to go?"
When he looked into her eyes, he saw how determined she was. For someone who'd just been through hell and back, she was doing a damn good job of looking like she hadn't been affected at all. It didn't make him worry any less though, because he knew the minute she got down there and it all hit her, he was going to have to try and pick up the pieces. He just hoped that he had it in him to do it. His first instinct with women had always been to walk away when things got too hard, and that wasn't the kind of man he wanted to be no more.
"All right. We'll figure somethin' out."
She smiled again, and he was suddenly tempted to lean over and kiss her. They hadn't touched much since the accident other than hand holding. He didn't want to pressure her, but he was really starting to miss the feeling of her lips on his. She looked like she might be thinking the same thing, but before he could find out he heard footsteps at the door.
"Am I interrupting?" Dr. Stevens asked, walking in. "I just wanted to check your vitals."
Daryl's first instinct was to tell her to go to hell, but Carol invited her in. This was about the only time of day that he left her to go take care of things because she had someone else there with her to keep an eye out. Considering where his head had just been, maybe the timing had been perfect after all. He could only imagine the fight she'd start with him if he tried to get fresh in front of another person.
"Y'all right if I go wash up?"
Carol nodded silently, but as he went to get up, her grasp on his hand remained. "Thank you…for always being there for me."
She let go, and Daryl walked slowly out of the small room and down the hall. In a way, he was about to find out just how much he could be there for her. It was a test that no one was ever prepared for, but some rose to the occasion and some didn't. He just hoped that he'd have the strength to let her lean on him when she needed it…and that she'd still want him around after.
A/N: This chapter ended up being a much simpler version than what I had initially written, but in a way I'm glad for it because the two chapters prior were very emotional, and the next two will be very similar. I just needed a mental vacation for a while because I have a lot of stuff going on myself right now, so the idea of not having to internalize things too much just sounds very appealing to me, haha.
As for the music trivia…honestly, it just popped into my head and I thought it was funny. I listen to Pandora a lot when I'm writing, so I just picked a couple classic artists that I figured were probably favorites back when they were younger. I do have a pretty broad knowledge of music (being a child of the 80's, I grew up on MTV and remember a time when they actually PLAYED music videos haha) so I am familiar with all types of stuff, but these were really picked at random. My personal spectrum is very broad. Anyway, hope you all enjoy it. I'm getting more used to being sappy, but I still like the element of fun as well:) Live long and Caryl on!