After their mischievous romp through the palace, Astrid suggested that she and Loki try to maintain a low profile for the rest of the day. She was supposed to keep him on a leash and this morning had been a failure, albeit an enjoyable failure. Sure, the pranks were childish, but it was the most fun she'd had in ages. Loki seemed to equally enjoy it. "Hey, I have an idea. Come with me back to my room," she suggested. "I know something that'll keep you occupied and out of trouble." "And what might that be?" he asked with a devilish grin. "Just come and see." She rolled her eyes. Is everything an innuendo with him? They left his chambers, crossed the hall, and entered hers. She went to retrieve her phone from the writing desk and gasped. "What's wrong?" he asked. "My ring! It's gone!" she exclaimed. "I put it right here on the desk and it's gone!" She dropped onto her knees and began frantically searching the floor. "The one you wore when you arrived on Asgard?" he asked, stepping to the side of the desk. "Yes, the blue topaz! It was my grandmother's and I've lost it!" She crawled under the desk and checked the floor. "Astrid, stand up," he instructed. "I have to find it!" Her voice was high and anxious. If she lost her grandmother's ring she would never forgive herself. "Astrid. Stand up," he repeated. "It's got to be here somewhere!" Tears formed in her eyes as her hands flew over the floor desperately hunting the missing ring. Loki knelt behind her, grabbed her hips, and pulled her out from under the desk. "Just stop for a moment." She whipped around to glare at him and ended up clocking her head on the leg of the desk. "Ow, shit!" she shouted, rubbing her head. Loki sat on his knees behind her. "I did ask you to stop, did I not? Now you've injured yourself. Slow down for a moment." He stood and offered his hand to her. She placed her hand in his and he lifted her up. "When you misplace something meaningful it can be very upsetting. Sometimes, though-" he walked around the side of the desk, bent over, and reached behind the rear leg of the desk "-you must step aside to see things from a different angle." He stood in front of her with his left hand closed. Holding his fist up to her, he opened it to reveal her ring. She sighed in relief as he took her hand and placed the ring on her finger. "You should wear it so that it isn't misplaced again," he said with a smile. He had placed the ring on her left hand. Astrid looked at it cautiously and then back up at him, her eyes questioning. Confusion washed over his face. "It displeases you?" She quickly answered, "No… it's just that this is my left hand. That's where people wear their wedding rings…" His face went taut. "If I have offended you, I apologize." He turned and walked briskly to the door. "No, wait…" she called out as he left the room. She followed him to his chamber door and he all but closed it in her face. That pissed her off. She tried the turn the knob but the door was locked. She knocked loudly and shouted, "Open the door!" No response. She knocked again. "You'd better open this door and talk to me!" Still, no response. "Fine," she spat. She marched back into her chambers, slammed the door, and walked haughtily onto her balcony. She stood at the railing that faced Loki's balcony and removed her shoes, tossing them one at a time over the gap and onto his patio. She nodded, calculating that she could easily make the five foot jump. She gathered up her skirt and tied it into a knot at her upper thighs and straddled the wide marble railing.
Loki, seemingly irritated, appeared at the archway. "By the Norns, woman! What are you doing?" She swung her other leg over so both of her legs were dangling from the railing as she sat on the wide stone beam. "You wouldn't open the front door so I'm coming in the back way." He looked at her incredulously. "Do you realize how high that railing is? If you fall, you will be killed! Get back inside!" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Only if you'll let me in to talk to you." "No." 'Don't look down, don't look down,' she thought as she stood up on the beam. He glared at her, calling her bluff. She planted her feet, tucked down and sprang forward. She crossed the gap, landed on his railing, then hopped down to his balcony. She gave him a boastful smile, proud of herself for landing more gracefully than she had anticipated. Hooray for yoga. "Have you lost your mind?" he shouted as he stormed towards her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her in close, scowling in her face. "Don't ever do that again," he whispered. She yanked her arm out of his grasp. "I made it, didn't I?" "Yes. And now you may return to your chambers." He gestured his arm toward the door. "No," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I want to talk to you." He huffed. She was irritatingly persistent, just as she had been that first night in his cell. He retreated to his room and sat down hard on the sofa. "Then speak." She followed him in, stood in front of him, and deflated a little. "Look, I was trying to ask you something and you just walked away. You shut the damn door in my face." He leaned forward with his arms on his knees and looked up at her blankly. "Did you know about the left hand thing?" Hesitantly, he answered. "No. There is no such custom on Asgard." "Then what's with the attitude?" "I unknowingly offended you and I apologize." She didn't buy it. "Really? You think you've hurt my feelings so you decide to act like a turd to make it better?" she asked, her eyes narrowed. She felt his fear and frustration when he grabbed her arm. There was more than he was letting on. He still had the same unreadable expression on his face. "Look, you didn't offend me. Not at all. I was just… confused. I didn't know if you meant to put the ring on my left hand or if it was just coincidence. That's all." "Do you wish for it to have been intentional?" He bristled as he asked. She hesitated for a moment before she asked softly, "What if I do?" She bowed her head and turned her face slightly away biting into her bottom lip. He slowly rose from his seat, the air growing heavy with menace and enveloping him. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her in tight. Too tight. She squirmed in his grip and pushed his chest with her hands. "You're hurting me," she said breathlessly as his darkness flowed into her. He leaned his face in uncomfortably close with a hard look in his eyes. "Is this what you want? Is it?" he hissed. "I will only hurt you and break your heart. You will only suffer." His angst and self-loathing flooded into her. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Why would you say that?" she asked. "When I tell you that I am a monster, I do not mean only in action. I am something incapable of being loved. By anyone." His face was a mixture of anger and sorrow. "That isn't true." He abruptly released his arms making her stumble backwards and over-correct to maintain her balance. He stepped back and turned away from her. He knew the only way she would understand would be to witness it with her own eyes. Then she would run away in terror and that would be that. "It is. And once you see why, you will run screaming to my brother, begging for him to take you home," he said over his shoulder. He closed his eyes and shifted his form. She felt the temperature of the room drop. She watched as he slowly spun around to face her. She first noticed his blue skin covered with bold semicircular markings on his forehead and three thin, parallel markings both on his cheeks and chin. Then she saw his bright red eyes. His expression was no longer one of spite and venom. It was… vulnerable. If he meant for this to frighten her, then he had failed. "You're beautiful," she whispered. He stiffened. "Do not say that." "But you are." She stepped closer to him and reached out her hand. "No!" He recoiled from her. "You must not touch me. My skin will burn you." She nodded slowly. "Okay. I won't." She raised her hands up, displaying her palms. "Put your hands out, like I'm doing." He eyed her suspiciously. "Oh come on. Do we have go through this again?" she asked, remembering the struggle when she had asked him to take her hands before she purged him. He was confused. Why was she not screaming in horror? "Do you not know what I am?" he asked incredulously. "I know you're, well, different. But you were different to me before. You're just a… different kind of different now," she said, her voice still even and calming, her hands still up. He cautiously eyed her upheld palms. He didn't understand why she wanted him to mirror her but he hesitantly raised his hands. "What are you doing?" She smiled and gingerly stepped closer. She pushed her hands closer to his and she felt the cold emanating from his palms. "I won't touch you but I'll come as close as I can. Is that alright?" she asked. He nodded apprehensively. She had to leave a few inches of space between her palms and his. He was freezing cold but she didn't mind. "I want to try something I've never done before. I don't know if it'll work, but I would like to try. Is that okay with you?" "Yes," he replied softly, still not believing her reaction to his Jotun form. She wanted to send her own feelings to him, like a backwards purge of sorts. She had only ever sent out calming energy, never her own emotions. She had always required physical contact, but since that wasn't an option, she had another idea. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, gathering all her energy. She imagined all of her tenderness, compassion, love, and acceptance condensing into light in each of her hands. Loki watched in amazement as her signature blue magic started flowing between their palms. He thought about when he taught her how to conjure it in his cell and of how he wanted to exploit it at first. If he had only known how it would later be used, no such thought would have ever crossed his mind. Then it hit him. It coursed through him as if he were experiencing it firsthand. He was looking at himself reflected through her and it nearly brought him to his knees. "Do you feel it?" she asked softly. "This is how I see you. This is how I feel when I look at you." She knew she had finally let free the true reason why she didn't want to break their bond. She knew he could feel her love, and while it scared the hell out of her, she knew she had to let him feel every last drop. In this moment, he needed to know just how precious and immensely significant he was to her. "Astrid," he whispered as he shifted back to his default Aesir form. He laced his fingers with hers and clutched her hands. "Forgive me for underestimating you," he said, drawing even closer. He reached up, his hand still clasping hers and caressed her cheek with his thumb. She smiled sweetly. "You're forgiven," she said. A knock at the door turned their heads. Thor entered and they quickly untangled their hands. "I am sorry for intruding. Astrid, Mother would like to see you in her chambers." Seeing Astrid's skirt tied around her thighs, Thor shot his eyes to the floor. She nodded and then glanced to Loki. "I'll be right back." As she turned to leave, Loki reached for her arm and pulled her back to him. His eyes locked onto hers and he reached down to untie the knot in her skirt. The soft brush of his hand on her thigh sent a warm current through to her core. She drew in a quick breath as her cheeks reddened. He awarded her with a coy smirk. "Shoes..," Loki reminded her. Her shoes were still on the balcony where she had pitched them before she leapt to his patio. She retrieved her shoes, slipped them on and glanced at a rather uncomfortable-looking Thor. "Now, I'll be back," she said to the brothers. Loki inclined his head as she took her leave. She pulled the door closed behind her and heard Thor comment, "Your chambers are rather chilly, brother." She easily remembered the route to the queen's chambers and managed to find her way without any wrong turns. She approached the door and knocked. "You may enter," she heard Frigga's kind voice call from the opposite side of the door. Astrid walked in and found the queen sitting on her sofa drinking a cup of tea. There was a second steaming cup sitting on a side table. "Astrid," Frigga greeted in a kind voice. "Do have some tea." "Thank you." She picked up the cup and sat down beside Frigga. She lifted her cup and sipped, tasting the minty sweetness. "This is nice." Frigga smiled. "I'm glad you like it." "Thor said you wanted to see me," Astrid said politely. "Yes. I wanted to thank you for encouraging Loki's antics today." Astrid was confused. "Thank me?" The queen smiled wistfully. "Yes. I have not seen such light in his eyes for a very long time. If you ever wanted to know what he was like as a boy, then today was an excellent example." "You must have had your hands full," Astrid replied with a smile. Frigga laughed, "Indeed, I did. My little trickster…" Astrid imagined a little black-haired boy running amok through the palace laughing wildly. "Would you like to see how he looked as a child?" the queen asked. Astrid chuckled, amused that Frigga wanted to show her pictures of Loki as a kid. "I would love that." Frigga waved her hand and a holographic image took shape in front of Astrid. A boy, the equivalent of about ten Earth-years old, stood in front of her, grinning. He had short black hair, green eyes, and the same features he has now but smaller and softer. He was adorable. "Aw," Astrid giggled. "I'll bet with a face that cute, he got away with a lot more than he should have," she mused. "Aye, he did," replied Frigga. She motioned with her hand again and the image waved goodbye and dissipated. Astrid was touched by Frigga's gesture. "Thank you… for sharing that with me." The queen nodded. "I was hoping that you and Loki would join me for an evening meal." "Of course." "And afterwards, perhaps you could play your piano for us? Loki tells me you are quite talented."Astrid blushed. She didn't consider herself talented, just average. Compliments made her feel awkward. "I would be honored to play for you." **** Astrid returned from her visit with Frigga. She reached for the handle on Loki's door but paused when she heard Thor's voice from within the room. She knocked softly and cracked the door open so as not to interrupt their conversation. Only popping her head in, she saw them seated on the sofa. "Sorry. I'm back but I'll be in my room," she said quietly. Loki acknowledged her with a nod and a small smile. She pulled his door closed and turned to enter her own chambers. Frigga wanted her to play and Astrid thought of some classical pieces she knew by heart. She didn't have the first bit of sheet music but there were some pieces that were etched into her mind from a lifetime of playing. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata came to mind. It was one of those songs that nearly anyone on Earth would recognize whether they liked classical music or not. But it was a slow and haunting piece. Maybe Chopin's Nocturne? She loved that one. Then an idea struck her. She leapt up to run back across the hall to find Thor. She hated to interrupt him and Loki again but this idea was just too fabulous and she needed to get started immediately. As she flung open her door and flew into the hallway, she ran straight into Thor as he was leaving Loki's room. It was like hitting a brick wall. "Astrid, are you alright?" he asked.
"Thor, I'm so sorry!" she apologized as she rubbed her shoulder. "Can I borrow you for a minute?" she asked excitedly. "Borrow me?" he asked with a smile. "Yeah, hang on a second," she replied. She knocked on Loki's door and stuck her head in. He was standing in front of his fireplace lost in thought, his hands behind his back as he gazed intently at the flame. He turned his head to her as she spoke. "I have this… thing I need to go do. I'll be back in a bit, okay?" she announced, leaning on the door. He nodded and turned his face back to the fire. She left him to his thoughts and turned back to Thor. "I really, really, really need your help with something. It's a surprise for your mom. Loki, too." She held her clasped hands up, pleading. "Certainly!" He was beaming, elated that Astrid would want to do something thoughtful for his family. "What is it that you require of me?" She led him down the hall, away from the door and Loki's ears. She whispered, "What's your mother's favorite song?" "Mother's favorite song? Why do you ask?" Astrid grinned and replied, "I want to learn it so I can play it for her tonight." His booming voice echoed through the corridor. "Oh, it's-" "Shhh!" she shushed him with a smile. "Not so loud…" He nodded and whispered, "It is called The Warrior's Eulogy. She used to sing it to Loki and me when we were children. Let me introduce you to our head musician. This way." With a spring in her step she followed, excited about her idea to learn Frigga's favorite song and perform it for her this evening. She glanced at Thor's wide smile and noticed that he was cutting his eyes to the side, looking at her. Thor was moved by Astrid's gesture. She wanted his help in giving a lovely gift to his family. Loki told him of her reaction to his Jotun form, which honestly didn't really surprise Thor. The more he came to know Astrid, the more he saw of her kindness to his brother, the more he liked her. She was a genuine sweet soul, honest and caring. They entered a study across the hall from the music room and found the head musician sitting behind a massive desk. He was an older, robust man with a long grey beard and kind eyes. He was not wearing armor; instead, he was dressed in a linen tunic with trousers and an elaborately embroidered long vest. "My prince, to what do I owe this honor?" he asked as he quickly rose to his feet. "Sjall, I present Lady Astrid of Midgard," Thor said. "I ask that you would teach her The Warrior's Eulogy so that she may perform it for Mother on Loki's piano." The elderly man inclined his head to Astrid. "Lady Astrid, a pleasure," he said in a gentle tone. "I would be most happy to assist you." He slowly ambled down the side of the huge shelves of music books and selected a dusty old volume of ancient scores. He flipped his fingers through the pages until he found what he was searching for. "Ah, here we are," he said as he handed the book to Astrid. She looked at the sheet of music and her face fell. "I… can't read this. Music is written differently on Earth," she said disappointedly. The song was written out as a series of runes and dots. She wasn't sure which runes were notes or which were lyrics. "Could you play it for me?" she asked. If she couldn't read the notes, she could try to memorize it by ear. "And do you have some paper and a pen?" "Certainly," replied Sjall. He produced paper and a writing device from a drawer and laid them on the desk. Then he picked up a lute and plucked the strings. Astrid listened intently to the notes and tried her best to keep up with writing them out. Eventually, she gave up and just listened for sheer enjoyment. Asgardian music was beautiful, having an ancient, almost Celtic quality. When the song was finished, Astrid apologized to Sjall. "I'm sorry. I got so wrapped up in the music that I didn't finish writing it out. Could you play it once more, a bit slower this time?" "Of course, my lady." He played the song again and Astrid was able to identify the chords and rhythm and easily transcribed them to the paper. She had him speak the lyrics as she wrote. Then she sang the lyrics along with Sjall to be sure that she would remember the melody. "Lady Astrid, are you confident with the song now?" Sjall asked warmly. He was impressed at the mortal's desire to please the queen. She smiled. "I believe so, thank you very much." "You are very welcome." Astrid and Thor left the music room and headed back to her chambers. "I need you to take Loki and your mom somewhere and distract them for a bit so I can practice," she said to Thor. "How should I distract them?" he asked. "I don't know. Go... do something Asgardian. Just keep them away from here. And don't you dare ruin the surprise," she said, poking his shoulder. "I swear not to say a word." She narrowed her eyes. He was such an honest guy that Loki would know something was going on. "Not a word. Pinky swear?" she asked, holding out her pinky finger. He looked at her hand, confused by this type of oath she wanted him to take. "Pinky swear?" "Yes. Lock your little finger with mine. It is a most sacred Midgardian vow," she said with a playful grin. "You must never break it, or… something bad will happen." Thor did as she asked, lacing his pinky with hers. "I, Thor Odinson, do solemnly swear to keep my word," he said to her, most seriously. She couldn't help but giggle. "Thank you. For your help." "You are most welcome," he replied, turning to Loki's chamber door. Astrid retreated into her chambers and listened for the brothers to leave. After a moment, she heard two sets of boots on the marble floor, the echoes fading as the pair walked up the corridor. "Okay, here we go," she said to herself as she sat down at the piano. She read over the chords and began forming them on the keys, embellishing a bit here and there to add her own personal touch. Satisfied with the arrangement, she played through a few more times while singing the lyrics. She had this. It was going to be awesome. Or was it? Frigga wasn't going to be the only one hearing this. Loki would be there as well. Could she really play for him again after the music room incident? It was making her nervous. 'Think about something else,' she thought. What should she wear? Probably something nice. A piano recital for royalty was a big deal, even if said royals were her husband and mother-in-law. She pored through the wardrobe, evaluating the gowns. They all looked like formal wear to her. She came across a gown that was nearly the same shade of blue as the topaz in her ring. It was sheer and flowing, off-the-shoulder, and most importantly, easy to get into by herself. She would wear this one along with her ring and her silver feather necklace. She took the gown into the bathroom and freshened herself before putting it on. She combed through her hair, put on her necklace, and took a last glance in the mirror to be sure her appearance was decent. She eyed the ring still on her left hand. She considered moving it to her right but decided against it. For now. She returned to the piano for a little more practice. Unsure of when Loki would return, she ran through the song silently. She mouthed the words as she lightly touched the keys, careful not to press them. Someone knocked at her door. She snatched the sheet of paper with the music written on it from the music rack on the piano and quickly folded it up. "Come in," she called. Loki walked in, his face unreadable. "Are you ready?" he asked. Astrid stashed the folded paper in her desk and approached him. She wasn't getting any kind of vibe from him at all, which was very odd. "Everything okay?" she asked hesitantly. "Perfectly fine," he replied as he led her out the door. He didn't say a word to her the entire walk to the dining area. She glanced over to him occasionally but he didn't acknowledge her. She thought maybe she had made him uncomfortable by sharing all of her emotions with him earlier and began second-guessing herself. Maybe she shouldn't have sent him everything with the magic. The more she thought about it, the more nervous she became. They arrived at the table where Frigga was already seated. This was a small, private dining room, lavishly decorated as was the norm on Asgard. A vase of roses sat at the center of the round mahogany table, upon which was lain embroidered linens and gold filigree silverware. Short, evergreen topiaries surrounded the circular room while several sconces and candelabras provided light. A massive crystal chandelier hung from the domed ceiling. "There you are," the queen greeted with a smile. "Hi," replied Astrid. "Thank you for inviting us." Loki pulled Astrid's chair out for her and slid it in behind her before taking his seat. Frigga glanced from Loki to Astrid a few times as servants brought out platters of roasted meats and root vegetables, and poured glasses of wine from carafes. Astrid took a healthy sip of her wine and chanced a peek over to Loki. He was still ignoring her. She became more withdrawn as the three of them began to eat. "So, Astrid, have you played piano for very long?" the queen asked. Astrid snapped out of her thoughts. "Yes. Quite literally my entire life. My mom is a piano teacher." Frigga smiled politely. "So you were raised with music?" Astrid nodded. "When I was a baby, Mom used to put me in a bassinet beside the piano while she played. As I got bigger, I would sit on her lap and bang on the keys. She started teaching me when I was about three years old and I've been playing ever since. And my dad plays the trumpet. He has a jazz band with a few of his friends and sometimes I'll sing with them, or do a little piano or guitar accompaniment." Astrid felt a spark of something from Loki as she spoke of her family. A very small vibration, but it was something positive from him. He was at least listening to her, if nothing else. Frigga nodded. "Music is in your blood, then?" she asked with a smile. "Very much so, yes," Astrid answered as she nervously picked at her food. Loki continued to disregard her and it was becoming very awkward. This was going to be a long evening. They finished their meal with sparse, light small talk. Nothing was mentioned about Loki revealing his blue skin to Astrid or of their shenanigans earlier in the day. Loki hardly said one word and Astrid only answered the queen when she was asked a question. They retired to Astrid's chambers. She could absorb herself in the piano and maybe put Loki out of her mind for a bit. Maybe not. She sat down on the piano bench and opened the keyboard cover as Frigga and Loki seated themselves on the chaise adjacent to the instrument. She spoke to Frigga, "I have three pieces for you tonight, if that's okay." The queen smiled at her and said, "I am eager to hear you play. Please, do go on." She had an expression of anticipation. She had never heard anyone play the piano before. She nudged her son and he gave a pained smile in response. "My first piece, " Astrid began, "was composed by Ludwig van Beethoven about two-hundred years ago. It's called Moonlight Sonata and this is the first movement." Her fingers found the keys for the opening notes and began to play the dark and quiet tune. She slowly rocked back and forth, allowing her growing melancholy to pour out through the music. All of the disappointment and regret she had been feeling this evening found its way out through her fingers, reflected in the deep bass notes, middle triplets, and haunting melody. As she played the final two chords, she closed her eyes and allowed the notes to fade. She opened her eyes and looked to her audience. Frigga was visibly moved by the piece, while Loki had his head bowed and his eyes fixed upon Astrid. "Astrid, that was incredibly beautiful," Frigga praised softly. "Thank you," replied Astrid. It wasn't an easy song to play and she hoped she had done it justice. "My next piece was written by Frederic Chopin. Nocturne, opus nine, number two. Also written about two-hundred years ago." As she began the song, she could hear her mother's voice in the back of her mind warning her to mind her left hand technique. It brought a smile to her lips as she remembered the lessons of her youth. She loved to play but her mother always wanted her to do better. Sometimes it irritated Astrid that Sigrid was so hard on her but she knew now it was only because she could see the potential in her child. Sigrid was incredibly gifted. She could have become a successful concert pianist if she had not fallen prey to her own lack of confidence. She drove Astrid hard because she herself lacked the courage to do more with her talent than settle for giving lessons from her home. A bittersweet twinge tugged at Astrid's heart and interrupted her concentration for a split second, causing her to repeat a measure. Hopefully Frigga and Loki didn't notice the mistake. Sigrid would have heard it and made her repeat the song again from the top. A tear formed in her eye slightly blurring the keys until she blinked it away. She played the last notes and heaved a deep sigh. She felt the tears returning and she bit her lip to keep them at bay. "Are you alright, Astrid?" Frigga asked with concern. Astrid wiped her eyes and replied, "Yeah, I just… miss my mom right now." Frigga gave her a sad smile. "Did she teach you to play that one?" Astrid nodded, gathering herself. She rose from the bench and retrieved the sheet of paper from the desk. It was time to play Frigga's song. Her mood lightened a little as she unfolded the paper and clutched it to her chest, hiding the handwritten notes and lyrics. She smiled at Frigga and said, "I have a little surprise for you." Frigga's eyebrows raised. "You do?" Even Loki's face raised slightly. "I, uh, had to enlist Thor's help and I swore him to secrecy. He didn't say anything about it, did he?" asked Astrid. "No," replied Frigga, noting that there had been something odd about her eldest son's behavior earlier. "Good. It might be a little different than how you're used to hearing it but I hope you like it," said Astrid with a wide grin as she reclaimed her seat on the piano bench. She wiggled her fingers, drew a breath, and shook off the feeling of being a twelve year-old at a recital. She played the first slow notes and glanced quickly at Frigga. She could see that the queen recognized the song already. It gave her confidence to continue. "I have no mind to see you go But I cannot ask you to stay Beneath your sallow face, Einherjar, Your eyes give you away. Let's sing, child. Sing the night away Though Valhalla opened Its gates to you Let's dance in our dressings today! And over land you've traveled far You flew with wings to the fray And now you've come to rest thy bones O'er that long and lonely highway. Let's sing, child! Sing the night away Though Valhalla opened Its gates to you Let's dance in our dressings today!" The song finished and Astrid beamed with satisfaction. She nailed it- no mistakes, and judging by the expression on Frigga's face, she had done well. The queen was very touched by Astrid's gift. "You learned this for me? In one afternoon?" she asked as she rose from her seat. Astrid nodded sheepishly. Frigga took Astrid's hands and squeezed, filling Astrid with an unexpected warmth. "That was very, very kind. A thoughtful gift that is appreciated more than I can express." Astrid's cheeks flushed. She hadn't anticipated Frigga to receive the song as well as she did. The queen's praise embarrassed her a little. She chanced a quick peek at Loki. His lips were tugged up into a slight, subtle smile. "Astrid, thank you for sharing your lovely music with us," Frigga said warmly. "But as I should retire to my bedchambers soon, I will take my leave." The queen nodded as she turned to the door. "Thank you again," she said as she opened the door and left. Astrid and Loki were alone in her chambers. She looked to him, not knowing what to say, if anything. His behavior had been so strange and she was confused by the lack of any emotional energy from him. She suspected he had figured out a way to shield it from her perception. "I shall also bid you goodnight," he said flatly as he turned to leave. "Hey," she blurted out to him. "I'm sorry, okay?" She was sorry. Sorry she had made an ass of herself by bombarding him with all of her emotions and she was sorry for falling for him. He stopped at the door, inclined his head slightly, and spoke, "There is no need for you to apologize. Goodnight." Then he left, pulling the door closed behind him. Astrid was left staring at a door. She trudged over to the desk and removed her jewelry dejectedly. Retreating into her bedroom, she slipped out of her dress and into her nightgown. She cleaned up in the bathroom, walked out to her balcony and leaned forward with her arms resting on the railing. She gazed out at the nighttime landscape of Asgard. She felt so stupid. This was precisely why she didn't want to tell Loki her feelings. Now everything was awkward between them. She had ruined whatever relationship they shared and she didn't know how to fix it. She didn't even know how she was supposed to carry on as his keeper if he wouldn't even speak to her. She groaned as she dropped her forehead onto her wrists. She didn't want to look over to his balcony, didn't even want to glance in that direction. If she had, she might have noticed him standing in an archway on his balcony, arms crossed, with his back leaned against a pillar. He was studying her, intently watching her display of frustration. 'Maybe he was right when he said that he would only break my heart,' she thought. It was certainly breaking right now. As exhausted as she was from being chased around the palace earlier today, she had serious doubts about her brain allowing her to sleep. She decided to make herself comfortable out on the patio. She grabbed a pillow and the blanket from her bed. She tossed the pillow on the bench and wrapped the blanket around her like a shawl. She laid back, rested her head on the pillow and gazed up at the sky. She was such an idiot, opening her heart again. The last time she did it ended horribly. She thought she had learned her lesson. But here she was, married to Loki, and she had fallen for him. Silly little human. Of course, silly human... this would never work. Loki was over a thousand years old, didn't look a day over thirty, and could live for thousands more. She was thirty-five and not getting any younger. There would soon come a time when her hair would turn grey and her face would be wrinkled. Even if her feelings were reciprocated, she would only have fifty or sixty years before she died. She would be an old woman and he would probably appear exactly the same as he did now. Why would he want a pruney old bat when he could have any woman he desired? Her face scrunched as tears rolled down the side of her face. They just kept coming. She really wished she could talk to Cait right now. Eventually she cried herself to sleep without realizing it, out on the balcony in the chilly air. She was roused by the early light creeping across the sky and found that someone had covered her with another blanket. She sat up and groaned, instantly regretting having spent all night on the wooden bench. She was stiff and sore beyond belief. She rubbed her eyes and glanced at Loki's balcony in time to see him walking back into his room. She guessed that would likely be the only time she would see him today. She rose from the bench and every joint and muscle in her body screamed at her. She straightened her spine and each vertebra popped. 'Oh god, please tell me they have some pain killers on Asgard,' she thought as she massaged her lower back. She spread her two blankets out on the patio and tied her nightgown around her thighs. She stood at the front edge of the blankets and brought herself into the mountain pose with her hands to her heart in the anjali mudra. She inhaled and raised her hands to begin a sun salutation. Hopefully that would stretch the kinks out. She did all twelve postures in a graceful flow, coordinating her breathing and quieting her mind. Once she finished, she did feel somewhat better. She sat on her blankets in the lotus pose, her hands rested on her knees as she meditated. She had to clear her mind of all these negative thoughts in order to avoid the funk that was flirting with her. She regulated her breathing and allowed the bad energy to flow out. She sat still and silently for what seemed like endless time until a knock on her door stirred her back into the present. She held her breath and twisted her body to see who was coming in. It was Frigga, followed by a servant carrying a tray with tea, honey, bread, and fruit. "Good morning. I thought perhaps you could use some refreshments as you scarcely touched your food last night," said Frigga warmly. Astrid rose from her lotus position, untied her skirt, and joined Frigga at the table. "Thank you, but I'm not very hungry." The queen nodded. "Forgive me for prying but may I ask if you and Loki had a disagreement? The two of you did not say one word to each other last night." Astrid sighed. "I'm not sure what happened. Things were fine and then he just… shut me out. I wish I knew what I did wrong." Frigga's face softened. "Perhaps, my child, the problem is not anything you have done." Astrid stirred some honey into her tea. "Have you talked to him? Do you know why he's upset with me?" she asked. "No, I have not spoken to him yet," Frigga answered. "But my son does tend to become very aloof and quiet when something weighs heavily on his mind. I ask that you do not give up hope." Astrid nodded. She couldn't give up on him no matter how hard she tried. She had already let him in. He had changed her, for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health, she supposed, too.
Loki, seemingly irritated, appeared at the archway. "By the Norns, woman! What are you doing?" She swung her other leg over so both of her legs were dangling from the railing as she sat on the wide stone beam. "You wouldn't open the front door so I'm coming in the back way." He looked at her incredulously. "Do you realize how high that railing is? If you fall, you will be killed! Get back inside!" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Only if you'll let me in to talk to you." "No." 'Don't look down, don't look down,' she thought as she stood up on the beam. He glared at her, calling her bluff. She planted her feet, tucked down and sprang forward. She crossed the gap, landed on his railing, then hopped down to his balcony. She gave him a boastful smile, proud of herself for landing more gracefully than she had anticipated. Hooray for yoga. "Have you lost your mind?" he shouted as he stormed towards her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her in close, scowling in her face. "Don't ever do that again," he whispered. She yanked her arm out of his grasp. "I made it, didn't I?" "Yes. And now you may return to your chambers." He gestured his arm toward the door. "No," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I want to talk to you." He huffed. She was irritatingly persistent, just as she had been that first night in his cell. He retreated to his room and sat down hard on the sofa. "Then speak." She followed him in, stood in front of him, and deflated a little. "Look, I was trying to ask you something and you just walked away. You shut the damn door in my face." He leaned forward with his arms on his knees and looked up at her blankly. "Did you know about the left hand thing?" Hesitantly, he answered. "No. There is no such custom on Asgard." "Then what's with the attitude?" "I unknowingly offended you and I apologize." She didn't buy it. "Really? You think you've hurt my feelings so you decide to act like a turd to make it better?" she asked, her eyes narrowed. She felt his fear and frustration when he grabbed her arm. There was more than he was letting on. He still had the same unreadable expression on his face. "Look, you didn't offend me. Not at all. I was just… confused. I didn't know if you meant to put the ring on my left hand or if it was just coincidence. That's all." "Do you wish for it to have been intentional?" He bristled as he asked. She hesitated for a moment before she asked softly, "What if I do?" She bowed her head and turned her face slightly away biting into her bottom lip. He slowly rose from his seat, the air growing heavy with menace and enveloping him. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her in tight. Too tight. She squirmed in his grip and pushed his chest with her hands. "You're hurting me," she said breathlessly as his darkness flowed into her. He leaned his face in uncomfortably close with a hard look in his eyes. "Is this what you want? Is it?" he hissed. "I will only hurt you and break your heart. You will only suffer." His angst and self-loathing flooded into her. A tear rolled down her cheek. "Why would you say that?" she asked. "When I tell you that I am a monster, I do not mean only in action. I am something incapable of being loved. By anyone." His face was a mixture of anger and sorrow. "That isn't true." He abruptly released his arms making her stumble backwards and over-correct to maintain her balance. He stepped back and turned away from her. He knew the only way she would understand would be to witness it with her own eyes. Then she would run away in terror and that would be that. "It is. And once you see why, you will run screaming to my brother, begging for him to take you home," he said over his shoulder. He closed his eyes and shifted his form. She felt the temperature of the room drop. She watched as he slowly spun around to face her. She first noticed his blue skin covered with bold semicircular markings on his forehead and three thin, parallel markings both on his cheeks and chin. Then she saw his bright red eyes. His expression was no longer one of spite and venom. It was… vulnerable. If he meant for this to frighten her, then he had failed. "You're beautiful," she whispered. He stiffened. "Do not say that." "But you are." She stepped closer to him and reached out her hand. "No!" He recoiled from her. "You must not touch me. My skin will burn you." She nodded slowly. "Okay. I won't." She raised her hands up, displaying her palms. "Put your hands out, like I'm doing." He eyed her suspiciously. "Oh come on. Do we have go through this again?" she asked, remembering the struggle when she had asked him to take her hands before she purged him. He was confused. Why was she not screaming in horror? "Do you not know what I am?" he asked incredulously. "I know you're, well, different. But you were different to me before. You're just a… different kind of different now," she said, her voice still even and calming, her hands still up. He cautiously eyed her upheld palms. He didn't understand why she wanted him to mirror her but he hesitantly raised his hands. "What are you doing?" She smiled and gingerly stepped closer. She pushed her hands closer to his and she felt the cold emanating from his palms. "I won't touch you but I'll come as close as I can. Is that alright?" she asked. He nodded apprehensively. She had to leave a few inches of space between her palms and his. He was freezing cold but she didn't mind. "I want to try something I've never done before. I don't know if it'll work, but I would like to try. Is that okay with you?" "Yes," he replied softly, still not believing her reaction to his Jotun form. She wanted to send her own feelings to him, like a backwards purge of sorts. She had only ever sent out calming energy, never her own emotions. She had always required physical contact, but since that wasn't an option, she had another idea. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, gathering all her energy. She imagined all of her tenderness, compassion, love, and acceptance condensing into light in each of her hands. Loki watched in amazement as her signature blue magic started flowing between their palms. He thought about when he taught her how to conjure it in his cell and of how he wanted to exploit it at first. If he had only known how it would later be used, no such thought would have ever crossed his mind. Then it hit him. It coursed through him as if he were experiencing it firsthand. He was looking at himself reflected through her and it nearly brought him to his knees. "Do you feel it?" she asked softly. "This is how I see you. This is how I feel when I look at you." She knew she had finally let free the true reason why she didn't want to break their bond. She knew he could feel her love, and while it scared the hell out of her, she knew she had to let him feel every last drop. In this moment, he needed to know just how precious and immensely significant he was to her. "Astrid," he whispered as he shifted back to his default Aesir form. He laced his fingers with hers and clutched her hands. "Forgive me for underestimating you," he said, drawing even closer. He reached up, his hand still clasping hers and caressed her cheek with his thumb. She smiled sweetly. "You're forgiven," she said. A knock at the door turned their heads. Thor entered and they quickly untangled their hands. "I am sorry for intruding. Astrid, Mother would like to see you in her chambers." Seeing Astrid's skirt tied around her thighs, Thor shot his eyes to the floor. She nodded and then glanced to Loki. "I'll be right back." As she turned to leave, Loki reached for her arm and pulled her back to him. His eyes locked onto hers and he reached down to untie the knot in her skirt. The soft brush of his hand on her thigh sent a warm current through to her core. She drew in a quick breath as her cheeks reddened. He awarded her with a coy smirk. "Shoes..," Loki reminded her. Her shoes were still on the balcony where she had pitched them before she leapt to his patio. She retrieved her shoes, slipped them on and glanced at a rather uncomfortable-looking Thor. "Now, I'll be back," she said to the brothers. Loki inclined his head as she took her leave. She pulled the door closed behind her and heard Thor comment, "Your chambers are rather chilly, brother." She easily remembered the route to the queen's chambers and managed to find her way without any wrong turns. She approached the door and knocked. "You may enter," she heard Frigga's kind voice call from the opposite side of the door. Astrid walked in and found the queen sitting on her sofa drinking a cup of tea. There was a second steaming cup sitting on a side table. "Astrid," Frigga greeted in a kind voice. "Do have some tea." "Thank you." She picked up the cup and sat down beside Frigga. She lifted her cup and sipped, tasting the minty sweetness. "This is nice." Frigga smiled. "I'm glad you like it." "Thor said you wanted to see me," Astrid said politely. "Yes. I wanted to thank you for encouraging Loki's antics today." Astrid was confused. "Thank me?" The queen smiled wistfully. "Yes. I have not seen such light in his eyes for a very long time. If you ever wanted to know what he was like as a boy, then today was an excellent example." "You must have had your hands full," Astrid replied with a smile. Frigga laughed, "Indeed, I did. My little trickster…" Astrid imagined a little black-haired boy running amok through the palace laughing wildly. "Would you like to see how he looked as a child?" the queen asked. Astrid chuckled, amused that Frigga wanted to show her pictures of Loki as a kid. "I would love that." Frigga waved her hand and a holographic image took shape in front of Astrid. A boy, the equivalent of about ten Earth-years old, stood in front of her, grinning. He had short black hair, green eyes, and the same features he has now but smaller and softer. He was adorable. "Aw," Astrid giggled. "I'll bet with a face that cute, he got away with a lot more than he should have," she mused. "Aye, he did," replied Frigga. She motioned with her hand again and the image waved goodbye and dissipated. Astrid was touched by Frigga's gesture. "Thank you… for sharing that with me." The queen nodded. "I was hoping that you and Loki would join me for an evening meal." "Of course." "And afterwards, perhaps you could play your piano for us? Loki tells me you are quite talented."Astrid blushed. She didn't consider herself talented, just average. Compliments made her feel awkward. "I would be honored to play for you." **** Astrid returned from her visit with Frigga. She reached for the handle on Loki's door but paused when she heard Thor's voice from within the room. She knocked softly and cracked the door open so as not to interrupt their conversation. Only popping her head in, she saw them seated on the sofa. "Sorry. I'm back but I'll be in my room," she said quietly. Loki acknowledged her with a nod and a small smile. She pulled his door closed and turned to enter her own chambers. Frigga wanted her to play and Astrid thought of some classical pieces she knew by heart. She didn't have the first bit of sheet music but there were some pieces that were etched into her mind from a lifetime of playing. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata came to mind. It was one of those songs that nearly anyone on Earth would recognize whether they liked classical music or not. But it was a slow and haunting piece. Maybe Chopin's Nocturne? She loved that one. Then an idea struck her. She leapt up to run back across the hall to find Thor. She hated to interrupt him and Loki again but this idea was just too fabulous and she needed to get started immediately. As she flung open her door and flew into the hallway, she ran straight into Thor as he was leaving Loki's room. It was like hitting a brick wall. "Astrid, are you alright?" he asked.
"Thor, I'm so sorry!" she apologized as she rubbed her shoulder. "Can I borrow you for a minute?" she asked excitedly. "Borrow me?" he asked with a smile. "Yeah, hang on a second," she replied. She knocked on Loki's door and stuck her head in. He was standing in front of his fireplace lost in thought, his hands behind his back as he gazed intently at the flame. He turned his head to her as she spoke. "I have this… thing I need to go do. I'll be back in a bit, okay?" she announced, leaning on the door. He nodded and turned his face back to the fire. She left him to his thoughts and turned back to Thor. "I really, really, really need your help with something. It's a surprise for your mom. Loki, too." She held her clasped hands up, pleading. "Certainly!" He was beaming, elated that Astrid would want to do something thoughtful for his family. "What is it that you require of me?" She led him down the hall, away from the door and Loki's ears. She whispered, "What's your mother's favorite song?" "Mother's favorite song? Why do you ask?" Astrid grinned and replied, "I want to learn it so I can play it for her tonight." His booming voice echoed through the corridor. "Oh, it's-" "Shhh!" she shushed him with a smile. "Not so loud…" He nodded and whispered, "It is called The Warrior's Eulogy. She used to sing it to Loki and me when we were children. Let me introduce you to our head musician. This way." With a spring in her step she followed, excited about her idea to learn Frigga's favorite song and perform it for her this evening. She glanced at Thor's wide smile and noticed that he was cutting his eyes to the side, looking at her. Thor was moved by Astrid's gesture. She wanted his help in giving a lovely gift to his family. Loki told him of her reaction to his Jotun form, which honestly didn't really surprise Thor. The more he came to know Astrid, the more he saw of her kindness to his brother, the more he liked her. She was a genuine sweet soul, honest and caring. They entered a study across the hall from the music room and found the head musician sitting behind a massive desk. He was an older, robust man with a long grey beard and kind eyes. He was not wearing armor; instead, he was dressed in a linen tunic with trousers and an elaborately embroidered long vest. "My prince, to what do I owe this honor?" he asked as he quickly rose to his feet. "Sjall, I present Lady Astrid of Midgard," Thor said. "I ask that you would teach her The Warrior's Eulogy so that she may perform it for Mother on Loki's piano." The elderly man inclined his head to Astrid. "Lady Astrid, a pleasure," he said in a gentle tone. "I would be most happy to assist you." He slowly ambled down the side of the huge shelves of music books and selected a dusty old volume of ancient scores. He flipped his fingers through the pages until he found what he was searching for. "Ah, here we are," he said as he handed the book to Astrid. She looked at the sheet of music and her face fell. "I… can't read this. Music is written differently on Earth," she said disappointedly. The song was written out as a series of runes and dots. She wasn't sure which runes were notes or which were lyrics. "Could you play it for me?" she asked. If she couldn't read the notes, she could try to memorize it by ear. "And do you have some paper and a pen?" "Certainly," replied Sjall. He produced paper and a writing device from a drawer and laid them on the desk. Then he picked up a lute and plucked the strings. Astrid listened intently to the notes and tried her best to keep up with writing them out. Eventually, she gave up and just listened for sheer enjoyment. Asgardian music was beautiful, having an ancient, almost Celtic quality. When the song was finished, Astrid apologized to Sjall. "I'm sorry. I got so wrapped up in the music that I didn't finish writing it out. Could you play it once more, a bit slower this time?" "Of course, my lady." He played the song again and Astrid was able to identify the chords and rhythm and easily transcribed them to the paper. She had him speak the lyrics as she wrote. Then she sang the lyrics along with Sjall to be sure that she would remember the melody. "Lady Astrid, are you confident with the song now?" Sjall asked warmly. He was impressed at the mortal's desire to please the queen. She smiled. "I believe so, thank you very much." "You are very welcome." Astrid and Thor left the music room and headed back to her chambers. "I need you to take Loki and your mom somewhere and distract them for a bit so I can practice," she said to Thor. "How should I distract them?" he asked. "I don't know. Go... do something Asgardian. Just keep them away from here. And don't you dare ruin the surprise," she said, poking his shoulder. "I swear not to say a word." She narrowed her eyes. He was such an honest guy that Loki would know something was going on. "Not a word. Pinky swear?" she asked, holding out her pinky finger. He looked at her hand, confused by this type of oath she wanted him to take. "Pinky swear?" "Yes. Lock your little finger with mine. It is a most sacred Midgardian vow," she said with a playful grin. "You must never break it, or… something bad will happen." Thor did as she asked, lacing his pinky with hers. "I, Thor Odinson, do solemnly swear to keep my word," he said to her, most seriously. She couldn't help but giggle. "Thank you. For your help." "You are most welcome," he replied, turning to Loki's chamber door. Astrid retreated into her chambers and listened for the brothers to leave. After a moment, she heard two sets of boots on the marble floor, the echoes fading as the pair walked up the corridor. "Okay, here we go," she said to herself as she sat down at the piano. She read over the chords and began forming them on the keys, embellishing a bit here and there to add her own personal touch. Satisfied with the arrangement, she played through a few more times while singing the lyrics. She had this. It was going to be awesome. Or was it? Frigga wasn't going to be the only one hearing this. Loki would be there as well. Could she really play for him again after the music room incident? It was making her nervous. 'Think about something else,' she thought. What should she wear? Probably something nice. A piano recital for royalty was a big deal, even if said royals were her husband and mother-in-law. She pored through the wardrobe, evaluating the gowns. They all looked like formal wear to her. She came across a gown that was nearly the same shade of blue as the topaz in her ring. It was sheer and flowing, off-the-shoulder, and most importantly, easy to get into by herself. She would wear this one along with her ring and her silver feather necklace. She took the gown into the bathroom and freshened herself before putting it on. She combed through her hair, put on her necklace, and took a last glance in the mirror to be sure her appearance was decent. She eyed the ring still on her left hand. She considered moving it to her right but decided against it. For now. She returned to the piano for a little more practice. Unsure of when Loki would return, she ran through the song silently. She mouthed the words as she lightly touched the keys, careful not to press them. Someone knocked at her door. She snatched the sheet of paper with the music written on it from the music rack on the piano and quickly folded it up. "Come in," she called. Loki walked in, his face unreadable. "Are you ready?" he asked. Astrid stashed the folded paper in her desk and approached him. She wasn't getting any kind of vibe from him at all, which was very odd. "Everything okay?" she asked hesitantly. "Perfectly fine," he replied as he led her out the door. He didn't say a word to her the entire walk to the dining area. She glanced over to him occasionally but he didn't acknowledge her. She thought maybe she had made him uncomfortable by sharing all of her emotions with him earlier and began second-guessing herself. Maybe she shouldn't have sent him everything with the magic. The more she thought about it, the more nervous she became. They arrived at the table where Frigga was already seated. This was a small, private dining room, lavishly decorated as was the norm on Asgard. A vase of roses sat at the center of the round mahogany table, upon which was lain embroidered linens and gold filigree silverware. Short, evergreen topiaries surrounded the circular room while several sconces and candelabras provided light. A massive crystal chandelier hung from the domed ceiling. "There you are," the queen greeted with a smile. "Hi," replied Astrid. "Thank you for inviting us." Loki pulled Astrid's chair out for her and slid it in behind her before taking his seat. Frigga glanced from Loki to Astrid a few times as servants brought out platters of roasted meats and root vegetables, and poured glasses of wine from carafes. Astrid took a healthy sip of her wine and chanced a peek over to Loki. He was still ignoring her. She became more withdrawn as the three of them began to eat. "So, Astrid, have you played piano for very long?" the queen asked. Astrid snapped out of her thoughts. "Yes. Quite literally my entire life. My mom is a piano teacher." Frigga smiled politely. "So you were raised with music?" Astrid nodded. "When I was a baby, Mom used to put me in a bassinet beside the piano while she played. As I got bigger, I would sit on her lap and bang on the keys. She started teaching me when I was about three years old and I've been playing ever since. And my dad plays the trumpet. He has a jazz band with a few of his friends and sometimes I'll sing with them, or do a little piano or guitar accompaniment." Astrid felt a spark of something from Loki as she spoke of her family. A very small vibration, but it was something positive from him. He was at least listening to her, if nothing else. Frigga nodded. "Music is in your blood, then?" she asked with a smile. "Very much so, yes," Astrid answered as she nervously picked at her food. Loki continued to disregard her and it was becoming very awkward. This was going to be a long evening. They finished their meal with sparse, light small talk. Nothing was mentioned about Loki revealing his blue skin to Astrid or of their shenanigans earlier in the day. Loki hardly said one word and Astrid only answered the queen when she was asked a question. They retired to Astrid's chambers. She could absorb herself in the piano and maybe put Loki out of her mind for a bit. Maybe not. She sat down on the piano bench and opened the keyboard cover as Frigga and Loki seated themselves on the chaise adjacent to the instrument. She spoke to Frigga, "I have three pieces for you tonight, if that's okay." The queen smiled at her and said, "I am eager to hear you play. Please, do go on." She had an expression of anticipation. She had never heard anyone play the piano before. She nudged her son and he gave a pained smile in response. "My first piece, " Astrid began, "was composed by Ludwig van Beethoven about two-hundred years ago. It's called Moonlight Sonata and this is the first movement." Her fingers found the keys for the opening notes and began to play the dark and quiet tune. She slowly rocked back and forth, allowing her growing melancholy to pour out through the music. All of the disappointment and regret she had been feeling this evening found its way out through her fingers, reflected in the deep bass notes, middle triplets, and haunting melody. As she played the final two chords, she closed her eyes and allowed the notes to fade. She opened her eyes and looked to her audience. Frigga was visibly moved by the piece, while Loki had his head bowed and his eyes fixed upon Astrid. "Astrid, that was incredibly beautiful," Frigga praised softly. "Thank you," replied Astrid. It wasn't an easy song to play and she hoped she had done it justice. "My next piece was written by Frederic Chopin. Nocturne, opus nine, number two. Also written about two-hundred years ago." As she began the song, she could hear her mother's voice in the back of her mind warning her to mind her left hand technique. It brought a smile to her lips as she remembered the lessons of her youth. She loved to play but her mother always wanted her to do better. Sometimes it irritated Astrid that Sigrid was so hard on her but she knew now it was only because she could see the potential in her child. Sigrid was incredibly gifted. She could have become a successful concert pianist if she had not fallen prey to her own lack of confidence. She drove Astrid hard because she herself lacked the courage to do more with her talent than settle for giving lessons from her home. A bittersweet twinge tugged at Astrid's heart and interrupted her concentration for a split second, causing her to repeat a measure. Hopefully Frigga and Loki didn't notice the mistake. Sigrid would have heard it and made her repeat the song again from the top. A tear formed in her eye slightly blurring the keys until she blinked it away. She played the last notes and heaved a deep sigh. She felt the tears returning and she bit her lip to keep them at bay. "Are you alright, Astrid?" Frigga asked with concern. Astrid wiped her eyes and replied, "Yeah, I just… miss my mom right now." Frigga gave her a sad smile. "Did she teach you to play that one?" Astrid nodded, gathering herself. She rose from the bench and retrieved the sheet of paper from the desk. It was time to play Frigga's song. Her mood lightened a little as she unfolded the paper and clutched it to her chest, hiding the handwritten notes and lyrics. She smiled at Frigga and said, "I have a little surprise for you." Frigga's eyebrows raised. "You do?" Even Loki's face raised slightly. "I, uh, had to enlist Thor's help and I swore him to secrecy. He didn't say anything about it, did he?" asked Astrid. "No," replied Frigga, noting that there had been something odd about her eldest son's behavior earlier. "Good. It might be a little different than how you're used to hearing it but I hope you like it," said Astrid with a wide grin as she reclaimed her seat on the piano bench. She wiggled her fingers, drew a breath, and shook off the feeling of being a twelve year-old at a recital. She played the first slow notes and glanced quickly at Frigga. She could see that the queen recognized the song already. It gave her confidence to continue. "I have no mind to see you go But I cannot ask you to stay Beneath your sallow face, Einherjar, Your eyes give you away. Let's sing, child. Sing the night away Though Valhalla opened Its gates to you Let's dance in our dressings today! And over land you've traveled far You flew with wings to the fray And now you've come to rest thy bones O'er that long and lonely highway. Let's sing, child! Sing the night away Though Valhalla opened Its gates to you Let's dance in our dressings today!" The song finished and Astrid beamed with satisfaction. She nailed it- no mistakes, and judging by the expression on Frigga's face, she had done well. The queen was very touched by Astrid's gift. "You learned this for me? In one afternoon?" she asked as she rose from her seat. Astrid nodded sheepishly. Frigga took Astrid's hands and squeezed, filling Astrid with an unexpected warmth. "That was very, very kind. A thoughtful gift that is appreciated more than I can express." Astrid's cheeks flushed. She hadn't anticipated Frigga to receive the song as well as she did. The queen's praise embarrassed her a little. She chanced a quick peek at Loki. His lips were tugged up into a slight, subtle smile. "Astrid, thank you for sharing your lovely music with us," Frigga said warmly. "But as I should retire to my bedchambers soon, I will take my leave." The queen nodded as she turned to the door. "Thank you again," she said as she opened the door and left. Astrid and Loki were alone in her chambers. She looked to him, not knowing what to say, if anything. His behavior had been so strange and she was confused by the lack of any emotional energy from him. She suspected he had figured out a way to shield it from her perception. "I shall also bid you goodnight," he said flatly as he turned to leave. "Hey," she blurted out to him. "I'm sorry, okay?" She was sorry. Sorry she had made an ass of herself by bombarding him with all of her emotions and she was sorry for falling for him. He stopped at the door, inclined his head slightly, and spoke, "There is no need for you to apologize. Goodnight." Then he left, pulling the door closed behind him. Astrid was left staring at a door. She trudged over to the desk and removed her jewelry dejectedly. Retreating into her bedroom, she slipped out of her dress and into her nightgown. She cleaned up in the bathroom, walked out to her balcony and leaned forward with her arms resting on the railing. She gazed out at the nighttime landscape of Asgard. She felt so stupid. This was precisely why she didn't want to tell Loki her feelings. Now everything was awkward between them. She had ruined whatever relationship they shared and she didn't know how to fix it. She didn't even know how she was supposed to carry on as his keeper if he wouldn't even speak to her. She groaned as she dropped her forehead onto her wrists. She didn't want to look over to his balcony, didn't even want to glance in that direction. If she had, she might have noticed him standing in an archway on his balcony, arms crossed, with his back leaned against a pillar. He was studying her, intently watching her display of frustration. 'Maybe he was right when he said that he would only break my heart,' she thought. It was certainly breaking right now. As exhausted as she was from being chased around the palace earlier today, she had serious doubts about her brain allowing her to sleep. She decided to make herself comfortable out on the patio. She grabbed a pillow and the blanket from her bed. She tossed the pillow on the bench and wrapped the blanket around her like a shawl. She laid back, rested her head on the pillow and gazed up at the sky. She was such an idiot, opening her heart again. The last time she did it ended horribly. She thought she had learned her lesson. But here she was, married to Loki, and she had fallen for him. Silly little human. Of course, silly human... this would never work. Loki was over a thousand years old, didn't look a day over thirty, and could live for thousands more. She was thirty-five and not getting any younger. There would soon come a time when her hair would turn grey and her face would be wrinkled. Even if her feelings were reciprocated, she would only have fifty or sixty years before she died. She would be an old woman and he would probably appear exactly the same as he did now. Why would he want a pruney old bat when he could have any woman he desired? Her face scrunched as tears rolled down the side of her face. They just kept coming. She really wished she could talk to Cait right now. Eventually she cried herself to sleep without realizing it, out on the balcony in the chilly air. She was roused by the early light creeping across the sky and found that someone had covered her with another blanket. She sat up and groaned, instantly regretting having spent all night on the wooden bench. She was stiff and sore beyond belief. She rubbed her eyes and glanced at Loki's balcony in time to see him walking back into his room. She guessed that would likely be the only time she would see him today. She rose from the bench and every joint and muscle in her body screamed at her. She straightened her spine and each vertebra popped. 'Oh god, please tell me they have some pain killers on Asgard,' she thought as she massaged her lower back. She spread her two blankets out on the patio and tied her nightgown around her thighs. She stood at the front edge of the blankets and brought herself into the mountain pose with her hands to her heart in the anjali mudra. She inhaled and raised her hands to begin a sun salutation. Hopefully that would stretch the kinks out. She did all twelve postures in a graceful flow, coordinating her breathing and quieting her mind. Once she finished, she did feel somewhat better. She sat on her blankets in the lotus pose, her hands rested on her knees as she meditated. She had to clear her mind of all these negative thoughts in order to avoid the funk that was flirting with her. She regulated her breathing and allowed the bad energy to flow out. She sat still and silently for what seemed like endless time until a knock on her door stirred her back into the present. She held her breath and twisted her body to see who was coming in. It was Frigga, followed by a servant carrying a tray with tea, honey, bread, and fruit. "Good morning. I thought perhaps you could use some refreshments as you scarcely touched your food last night," said Frigga warmly. Astrid rose from her lotus position, untied her skirt, and joined Frigga at the table. "Thank you, but I'm not very hungry." The queen nodded. "Forgive me for prying but may I ask if you and Loki had a disagreement? The two of you did not say one word to each other last night." Astrid sighed. "I'm not sure what happened. Things were fine and then he just… shut me out. I wish I knew what I did wrong." Frigga's face softened. "Perhaps, my child, the problem is not anything you have done." Astrid stirred some honey into her tea. "Have you talked to him? Do you know why he's upset with me?" she asked. "No, I have not spoken to him yet," Frigga answered. "But my son does tend to become very aloof and quiet when something weighs heavily on his mind. I ask that you do not give up hope." Astrid nodded. She couldn't give up on him no matter how hard she tried. She had already let him in. He had changed her, for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health, she supposed, too.