Edward didn't know what my intentions were, but I couldn't keep leading Jasper on like this; I just couldn't.

Even if Edward had no intention of leaving Tanya, even if what we had at the moment was just pure lust.

I couldn't keep betraying Jasper.

Tonight, I'd break up with him. I'd find an excuse, I'd tell him anything but the truth.

My body still smelled of Edward, I was filled with him.

Temptation had won, and I was a slave to that bitch. None of this was right, no matter how good it felt; it was all wrong.

Deep down I felt dirty, maybe even a bit used.

My apartment looked exactly how I had left it, except for Angela watching TV in the living-room in dark pink pajamas.

She stared up at me as I had walked in with wide-chocolate eyes. "Bella...whats wrong?"

It couldn't have been that obvious, could it? Maybe my internal struggle really wasn't internal.

Before I could hold back the tears sprang, and I ran towards her as she held me to her. "I did something awful Ange. Really awful."

Her head shook. "Bells you could never do anything really terrible..."

My chest heaved in almost agony, I wasnt a good person anymore. "I had sex with Edward, my boss," I blurted out.

The shock radiating from her made the air in the apartment almost suffocating as she opened her mouth and then shut it again.

What, she mouthed.

I nodded, looking away from her. "I know its horrible. Its so horrible."

"Do you like...care about him?"

The question stunned me, did I?

"I-I dont know... he makes me feel special. When Im with him its like no one else in the world matters. Its just us. And its perfect..."

She stood and went towards the kitchen. "Im going to go make us some drinks."

A drink, I needed that. A shot, a heavy one.

We sat beside each other with two glasses of pink moscato and shut the television off.

"So, are you both planning on telling Jasper?"

Gulping down my cup, I shook my head. "He doesnt want to hurt him Ange. And I know itd be the right thing to do but I cant tell him that I slept with his brother, I just cant. God I make myself sick..."

She clasped her hand over mine, "Bella, I cant say youre a bad person for this. I mean if Ben were my boss and I was dating his brother and I had met his brother first, god knows maybe Id be in the same situation. You cant help what you want."

I began to sob again. "The problem is I dont know if Edward and I are anything real. Right now its just about the attraction, the sex."

Ange shook her head as her brown curles fell in front of her. "No Bella, I know you. There's more to this then that."

"I'm breaking up with Jasp tonight."

"Good. I hope this doesnt end badly for you Bells."

Staring up at the ceiling, I sighed. "Me, too..."

**TC**

Living in NYC meant it was pointless to own a car, but I had my volvo thanks to Phil. It was parked at the back of the building and had less then 1000 miles on it. Jasp couldve had a towncar come get him, his father's limo driver, or even Edward's...

Ralph knew of our secret redenvous, and I wondered if Edward trusted him in keeping all of his secrets.

Unlike Edward, and I was told Carlisle Cullen. Jasper didnt like people knowing he came from money. He didnt have his own limo driver and didnt live in a penthouse in the upper-east side.

Jasper was simple.

At the baggage claim a cowboy hat over his head, he came waltzing over towards me and gave me a short romantic kiss on the mouth.

"Bella, I have missed you!"

My insides threatening to explode and my stomach knotting, I managed a meek smile. "I missed you too Jasp," and that really wasnt a lie at all.

I had thought the car ride was going to be silent and akward but Jasper luckily spoke the entire time about his trip, the silly inventions he had tested, the small business contracts he had signed, and how he had spent his lonely nights watching Glee and had enjoyed the show.

He made me laugh, and soon the tension was gone from me.

When we were about to pull up to his building and the valet was about to grab my keys, he smiled at me and with the upmost sincerity asked, "How's work been?"

Looking away from him, I felt my right hand shake a bit or maybe I was imagining it. "Its been the same..."

He put his arm around me as the doorman opened the door and we headed inside, towards his apartment.

**TC**

I cooked him some penne with a jar of Alfredo sauce I had found in the pantry and he wolfed it down greedily.

"Edward been OK with you?"

My back was turned, I felt the heat rush through me. "Yes, same as always."

God, this was so fucked up. I had never been a good liar. Ever. Heck, I couldnt act to save my life.

At least, I thought.

Jasper didn't seem to notice anything was wrong. He kissed my neck as I washed the dishes and escorted me to the living room.

We cuddled as he watched a soccer game.

"Bella, I've got to tell you something..."

"Me too," I half-whispered.

He tilted my chin towards his forcing me to look into deep blue eyes, "I'm pretty sure that I'm falling in love with you Bells. You're all I though about when I was gone and I hope that's okay with you."

Before I could answer, his phone rang and somehow I sort of already knew who it'd be.

"Hey big bro. Yeah, yeah, my trip was great. I found some new stuff for us. Oh yeah definitely. Dinner tomorrow night, sure... actually,"

Jasper looked at me and smiled warmly.

"Can we meet up tonight. I need to discuss something important with you."

And he hung up and kissed my cheek. "I'm going to meet Edward for a drink. Ill be back later, is that okay?"

Letting out a deep breathe I didn't realize I was holding, I nodded. "That's fine."

Was Edward going to tell him?

Should I even stay here to break up with him...

God, what the fuck.

**TC**

About an hour and a half later, I was pacing Jasper's apartment when my phone buzzed.

A text from Edward:

We need to talk. Meet me at my place in an hour.

I deleted the message and twenty-minutes later, Jasper walked in a wide goofy smile on his face.

What was going on?

Before he could open his mouth, I rushed towards him and blurted out a lie, "Ange is sick. She needs me to home. Thinks its stomach virus."

He frowned and then hugged me to him, "Ok Bella, Ill see you tomorrow. Okay?"

I nodded fighting back tears and rushed out as I called, "Goodnight Jasp."

Fuck you, Edward Cullen.

You've ruined me and you have ruined my life.