Zim growled through clenched teeth, thick droplets of tears dripping from his chin as they fell down his cheeks. What was he crying for? He did this; this was all his doing. He had no right to cry. He knew this would happen all along. But when he had started this…this thing, it had been for his own gain, of course.

But, when had it become more than that? He couldn't even pinpoint an exact moment when he had dove head first into the tawny abyss of Dib's world. All that he knew now was that he cared for Dib; they had become their own world together, blocking everything else out, as it was all so unimportant compared to the embrace of their nights together.

But now he was alone. And it seemed so much worse than before when he was on his own. Zim didn't even know when he had fallen to his knees, or even how long he had been there. Minutes? Hours?

With a final sigh of resolution, he pushed himself up, feeling as though his limbs all weighed fifty times heavier than normal. Dib wasn't gone, he'd just ran off like an idiot. Zim hadn't lost him yet, or so he'd like to believe. He wouldn't let him go so shoved himself out of the Ladybug, sprinting for a small while before his PAK legs took over and carried him. His magenta orbs scanned the horizon for any sight of his human, calling his name—though it was foolish of him to assume Dib would answer him.

Panting, the human didn't even stop to wipe angry tears away from his face, though it made his vision blurry as fuck. Before him the hills rolled, covered in thick blue bushes that molded to his footsteps, before slowly returning to their original state like memory foam. It was easy to distinguish the soft rustle of leaves against sharp points of metal being stabbed into the hard ground and yanked out again from behind him, accompanied by the sound of his name.

Dib shook his head, feeling like his chest was going to explode and implode all at once. What he wanted to do was whirl around and hit the Irken right in the face, over and over again. What he wanted to do was collapse into a ball and just let the fucking pain of betrayal take over him. Instead, Dib kept running, knowing that Zim would catch up eventually but, he would give the alien a hell of a time of it.

Growling, he waited until he sprinted across the valley made of those memory bushes and ducked into the dense forest, dodging branches, tearing back vines, doing his best to zig-zag to throw Zim off track. A mile or so of this then civilization would begin to show up.

From their quick trip there for supplies and stuff earlier, Dib knew it was a small city but, large enough for him to hide in for at least a night. A stray root almost sent him sprawling to the ground, but he grunted, ignoring how much his throat hurt from holding in the tears, and kept going.

Zim got to the small stretch of flatland just in time to see Dib duck into the forest. That idiot was actually running away from him! Zim clenched his fists hard enough that they trembled, the material of his gloves threatening to give way under his claws. Did he know he had bigger problems than a stupid lie right now?

"Dib!" Zim shouted as he lunged across the small valley, sliding in between the trees effortlessly. He snaked his way through until the strange black vines snagged the metallic appendages, getting caught in the nooks of the joints. Grunting and writhing, the Irken struggled to free himself. He let out an exasperated huff before calling after Dib, who was being dumb and stubborn when his precious planet was in so much trouble. Honestly, why did that boy need to make everything so much harder than it needed to be?

"Dib, you moron, YOU ONLY HAVE A MONTH!" His shrill voice bounced and reverberated off the trees and through the forest.

The words echoed in the darkness and Dib screeched to a halt. Through his blurry eyes, he could see the lights of the city. Then Earth was still…it wasn't gone. A month…what could be done in a month? He knew from close personal experience that the answer was 'a lot'.He swallowed the painful lump in his throat, blinking at the alien city.

With a shuddering sigh, Dib turned and slowly walked back through the jagged branches, ducking back through until he reached a minor clearing between a few trees where the light of the far off but, bright moon leaked through the leaves. Panting softly, Dib tried to catch his breath while the silence dragged on. The pain was easing a bit in his chest. Earth was safe. For now. He kept several feet away from Zim.

"A month, then…" Dib nodded, thinking hard. Was there a chance…? His mind buzzed with possibilities, opportunities, ideas. They were a damn for the rage and pain. "You're taking me back home." With that he shoved past Zim. "I need to get those things I was talking about."

"Why do you think I'm here?" He growled between grunts as he ripped apart the vines that were holding him captive. When his feet were finally on the ground, his PAK legs shrunk back into their home and Zim fought to keep up with Dib's large strides on his own. Zim could see the tear streaks that stained Dib's face glistening in the moonlight, and he longed to wipe them away. But he knew it was best to keep to himself, lest he lose a hand in Dib's anger. Their ship was in sight now, and something was biting at the back of Zim's mind. With a shaky sigh, he spoke up.

"Dib-thing, what do you plan to do when you get back?"

Instinct would demand that he respond with the truth. Only they weren't being truthful, now were they? Dib bit the inside of his cheek, padding across the moss and bushes, trying to walk as fast as possible. No time to waste. "That's none of your business."

The pang in his chest nearly set Zim to his knees, but he pushed it down and kept going. His pace took the blow, his steps slowing a bit so he dragged behind Dib. Of course it wasn't his business; his loyalty was to the armada. Always had been and always will. It wasn't like he expected Dib to ask him for help, anyway.

"You're in over your head." He stated simply as they reached the Ladybug. "Earth doesn't stand a chance against the Armada. It's suicide to even try to fight them." His tone was almost pleading as he searched Dib's face for…something. Anything.

Dib's expression screwed up as he hopped up into the Ladybug, almost stopping dead in his tracks because wow things were different now and this place held too many good memories. All ruined now. Swallowing, he walked towards the co pilot's chair, trying to avoid looking at Zim even as he knew the alien was searching him. "I know it is."

But, hey if his plan worked, then freaking fantastic. And if it didn't…well, then he wouldn't have to deal with the aching agony in his chest. But, this human would not go down without a fight. Earth wouldn't be let go quietly.

Zim sighed and let his heavy body fall into the pilot seat, running his hand over the control panel and bringing the ship to life. "They have a head start on us, but our ship is smaller and faster, so we should be able to make it there in time." A pause. "Should."
He waved goodbye to the last planet he figured they'd have any good memories on, and lifted them out of the atmosphere. The coordinates still embedded in his mind, finding them buried under all the memories he had collected over the time he spent with Dib was the only difficult part. Once he punched them into the screen, there was nothing left to do but wait.

It was silent for a long while as they exited the planet's atmosphere and slid into dark, lovely space.

There was a clamp on Zim's insides, squeezing him until he felt like he was going to keel over. He fought to get the words out, and when they finally emerged from his dry throat, they sounded weak and as though they came from someone else entirely. "When we land…" He couldn't finish the sentence, and left the 'will that be it' hanging. Would they part? Would this be the end of them? Forced to remember each other only by the scars in their shoulders?

Dib's people were ignorant; he could find a mate again, easily. No human would know what those markings mean. But Zim would be alone, again. Not that he wanted a mate after all this. Being alone suited him just fine.

Dib knew Zim well enough that he could almost hear the words unspoken. A quick side glance at the Irken left a gaping hole in his stomach. He pressed his hands to the imaginary injury, grimacing. The Irken had shiny cheeks. Crying. Well, join the club, Invader.

Swallowing, he shrugged, trying hard to make his throat work. "I don't know. You might need to take me back to the Massive…" His jaw worked, chewing on the words. "Or you can leave. I'm sure I can find a way back into space." There would be no stopping him.

Zim sighed and flexed his fingers over the panel. The material of his gloves (or maybe it was his bones) creaked at the release."Dib, you are my life-mate." A fact no lie could cover up. "The bond is no lie. It is in our skin as well as our minds, and not to mention Irken records. However," He took in a deep breath, feeling his body threatening to revolt against him. He felt like he was going to be sick. "Helping you…in all this…would be considered treason against my Tallest." He was pushing it even by helping Dib get back to Earth.

Zim was partially glad Dib had refused to tell him his plan; at least this way he could truthfully claim he had no part in it. But…Dib was his life mate, after all. He was obliged to help him. He was torn, and he could feel himself giving away at the seams. "I want to help…" But. What could he do? Throw away his hundreds of years of loyalty, of building up to where he was now? The Invader emblem was still proud on his chest. A badge of who Zim was. He was an Invader. It was in his blood.

Dib pursed his lips and nodded stiffly. "I know. It's in my head too, I remember." The utter loyalty to the Empire was practically a religion. The closest an Irken got to one. This was enough for now. As for being life mates…that was still in his head as well. It was in his heart in the form of all of Zim's memories. It would be a part of him forever.

It was in the pain he felt that almost outweighed the anger. But, that pain went on for many levels. At being lied to, at knowing that this could be the end for them, at seeing Zim clench and stiffen in agony. Dib didn't know what to feel or what to do about them. The only thing he knew was that Earth and all its people, his people, needed to be saved.

"Think of it this way. It was only 80 years anyway. Maybe this is ripping the band-aid off." Dib replied, emotionless.

Zim laughed humorlessly, bitterly. The tone of Dib's voice was like a punch to the face, knocking the sense out of his head enough that he nearly choked on the cry that threatened to escape his throat. But he held it back, because he could take this. Zim had been shot and stabbed and beaten, he could take this. A little emotional trauma. So what.
But now what was it? Eighty years of...nothing.

"What is Zim supposed to do for eighty years, now?" He asked, but didn't expect an answer. He glared out into space, past his reflection into the abyss.

Dib winced at the alien's laugh, crossing his arms over his chest. The silence dragged on because he honestly had no idea how to respond. The stars and planets flew by, glistening recognized ones they'd landed on. Others that they might've gone to next. Dib forced words to break the numb quiet. "When did they tell you…that they were destroying earth?"

Zim tore his gaze away from the windshield to stare down at his hands, which were slightly sore in the knuckles. His eyelids felt heavy, though he wasn't tired. A sideways glance proved to him that Dib's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, which he was sure was a mirror image of himself.

"When they denied your request," He started slowly. "I knew they were planning on it. However, I did not expect action this soon. I found out just today that they were moving in." What was the point in lying, now. Everything was on the table. "Zim thought…" What did he think? That he could do something about it? That Dib would be happier without Earth? What was his train of thought in all this?

"I didn't think." He admitted, finally. "Just…wanted you here." He wasn't even making excuses for himself anymore, he just wanted to have the human with him, no matter what. There really was no explaining it.

Dib tried to keep a straight face, to stay emotionless but found it impossible at the last part, his face screwed up, mouth turning down hard with the effort. The pain in his chest increased so much it was like his ribs were breaking. "You're such an—" He gasped for air, feeling the stupid tears start up again. "idiot. And an asshole." The shaking kept going, moving from just his head to his shoulders and arms as the tears kept coming.

"Do you know that I was never happier? That I was fucking living in god damn bliss with you in our cramped as fuck space ship? I loved having you in my head. Even the bad parts." The wars, bloodshed, fighting, killing, watching death happen all around him. "And I hate you for what you did. But, you'll always be the best part of my life…and I'll never stop…loving you, for lack of a better word." Dib's voice cracked and he had to clear his throat. He laid his forehead on his shaking knees. Everything was moving. "But, I don't think I can ever really forgive you for this…ever."

Zim watched with wide eyes as Dib wilted; not just his facade of emotionless-tough-guy, but his stature as well. He was a ball of mess in front of him, and Zim's breath became labored at the sight and at the words Dib was giving him. He felt tears well up and snag on his eyelashes before finally rolling down his cheeks, again.

He wanted to say something, anything to make this OK. But he knew there was nothing. It was ruined. He had ruined the only good thing in his long life; and the sad part was that he didn't know it'd be the best time of his life until now. Until it was over. How could he go back to the way things were after this? How did things just…go back? They didn't.

"I know." Zim whispered, weakly. He turned his head, fighting every instinct to reach out and touch the human. To console him as best he could. "I will take you home," He stated with a small nod, the corners of his mouth tugging downward. "And…you don't ever need to see me again." If that's what you want.

"No!" Dib cried, nearly touching Zim before drawing his hand back. "I need to go home, yes but…if I…if this works…I don't never want to see you again." He had no idea what he wanted. Except that never seeing the alien again was not an option. Seeing the tears on Zim's face was more than enough to knock down his walls that he'd re-erected.

But, not all of them. The anger was mostly gone. All that was left was agony. Because yes, Zim was such an idiot. But, Dib knew how he thought. This was not the desired result even though it had been the inevitable one. He still wanted to be with Zim…but, it would be a long time…a very, very long time before he could trust him again.

Zim jumped at the sudden outburst, his head snapping forward and his antennae sticking up. Relief washed over the Irken knowing that Dib didn't want him gone. But that still posed the question about what they were going to do. When they reached Earth, what was Zim going to do? Was he going to help him? Throw away the very Empire he had been raised by and sworn loyalty to? It wouldn't be the same as just leaving, as Dib did his own planet; if Zim committed treason, he'd never be allowed back. Stripped of his Irken name, and possibly even killed.

But at this moment Zim didn't care about any of that. Because Dib still wanted him. Tentatively, Zim reached out, his gloved hand grazing up Dib's shoulder. He mostly expected the human to shrug his hand away, but the urge to have Dib in his grasp after all this was just too strong to fight off.

Dib let out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes and laying his head on his knees at the very subtle touch that he neither encouraged nor denied. He had to pull himself together, sniffing and breathing deeply. Finally, the hard-crying hiccups stopped, and he turned towards Zim a bit. "We should get some sleep…or at least I should." His eyes hurt from the force of the earlier sobbing.

With a clenched fist, Dib resolved that there would be no more stupid break downs. The human shoved away from the chair and walked on unsteady legs to their makeshift bed, pausing momentarily. Had they really only laid there last night? Swallowing back the urge to yell, he forced himself to lie down.

"You know, we may have to part ways for a while…but, it wouldn't be permanent." Maybe. If he lived. "That way you won't be involved." Irkens who committed treason were tried as Defects and traitors.

Zim breathed, feeling like he could do so without falling apart for the first time in what felt like hours. Days, maybe. "Dib, you can't fend them off." Zim tried again. He felt like a broke record. He stood from his seat, moving his hands as he spoke. "There's nothing you could do to keep them from getting what they want. If you stand against them, they will kill you!" His voice rose in volume as he continued, feeling more panicked as reality set in. Dib really was going to try, wasn't he? "Stay with Zim, please." His voice broke as he pleaded. "We can be happy again." Who needs Earth, anyway? Zim wasn't even sure what the Empire wanted with it.

Dib stared at the ceiling, knowing Zim was close by was enough to make him calm at the same time as he was stiff as a board. "No. I can't just…let them take Earth. Not without a fight. I will not be the last human. I will not just sit by and watch them destroy everything." His voice rose in volume as he spoke. The images of the Armada coming, breaking through the atmosphere and people screaming as their lives crashed around them. It was a nightmare. He shook his head frantically.

"I'm sorry…sorry that you're Irken and I'm human. Sorry that Earth was the planet you were sent to. I'm sorry that I love it as much as I do. Sorry that you're as loyal to the Empire as you are. And I'm sorry because I don't regret any of it and I'm still going to fight."

Zim huffed in frustration, his hands coming up with his fingers flexed as though he were trying to strangle something. "You're a moron, and if you go through with this, then you're a dead moron!" Zim growled, plopping back down in his seat. Zim shouldn't have been as angry as he was; he of all people knew what it was like to put your life on the line for your people. He ran a hand over his mouth as he spoke.

"What are you going to do?" He asked finally, deciding he wanted to know more than he wanted innocence. He needed to know just how stupid Dib was being here, exactly.

Dib's breath hitched in the back of his throat but, he swallowed it down, breathing deeply and evenly, trying to think in the most logical way possible. Or as logically as he could when you were planning on taking on an armada of aliens, while being in love with one of those aliens who had just betrayed you. "Are you sure you want to know? You won't be able to plead innocence."

Zim sat back in his chair, the fabric creaking under him, and he peered out into the darkness of space. As much as Dib was right, he still couldn't let the human do anything too stupid. He wasn't betraying his people just by listening to a silly plan, right?
"Just tell me." He demanded softly, turning back to Dib.

The human stared up at the ceiling, nodding. "Well, as soon as we get back to earth, I need to alert as many people as possible. And if they don't believe me about aliens maybe they'll believe me if I say some sort of colossal storm is coming. It won't be too hard to fake meteorological charts what with my dad's lab. Who I'm sure will be more than relieved to see me. He knows you are an alien so, I can explain what happened." Leaving out some details. Probably the whole sex part. And the falling in love thing. "He'll be on my side. That and his people. I wasn't lying when I said my dad is in control of not just science but, he also has access to military and biological weaponry." A nuke to the massive might just turn them around.

"And now that I have the entire history of the Irkens in my head, I have access to blue prints, I have the codes in my mind, and in our union, be it not exactly traditional, I also have a limited amount of access to certain things that a normal human wouldn't. Therefore, we won't go in blind at least." I might even have more of an advantage than any other enemy of the Irkens had in all of history, Dib thought grimly to himself.

"And if all else fails I'll go in for the Tallest themselves. There's enough to keep everything distracted. I can slip in while chaos reigns. Using the knowledge I have gained, I can break past any barriers they put up and kill them. If the head is gone, the body flounders." Dib didn't even feel like he could blink. Hs breathing was steady but, his heart beat a million miles a minute.

Zim's jaw set as he listened, clenching shut as his fingers scratched at the fabric of the chair. "Dib," Zim breathed, feeling his guts turn, and his limbs shaking as adrenaline pumped through his body, the human's words sinking in, slowly. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he shouldn't have expected any less. He didn't need to listen to Dib's plan, because just by marrying him and handing over this knowledge, he had already betrayed his leaders. "I can't let you kill my Tallest. You know that."

Dib rubbed his temples, closing his eyes. "Then let's hope it doesn't come to that, huh?" Maybe it would only end in someone exploding. "Maybe they'll reach Earth before we can even set up a defense. Maybe they'll destroy my entire planet and I'll be obliterated into ashes with the rest of my kind like it's supposed to be. I won't have to kill them because they'll kill me first."

Zim scoffed. "It doesn't matter who gets there first; they will kill you either way." He shook his head before resting it on his closed fist. "You shouldn't do this." He said, again. How long until he could get it through the human's thick skull that this was a suicide mission? He had about a month to convince him not to go through with it, and Zim refused to give up. He did all this so that Dib would stay with him; how dare he throw it all away?

"Even with the knowledge that you have, you are not trained. Your body is weak; you'll never survive in a battle."

Dib growled, sitting up and glaring at the Irken. "So what do you suggest I do, almighty Zim?"

"Stay with me!" Zim barked, shooting up in his seat so that he was on the edge. His lips pulled back into what might have been a growl, but his eyes were sharp with earnest concern. "Stay with me, here in space, where you'll be kept safe."

Dib snarled. "And just ignore the fact that while I'm flying through space, being happy and safe my entire planet could be obliterated at any second? My father, my sister? I was just fine leaving them behind when I knew they were safe. And what about the rest of my people? How dare you, how dare you say it's not okay to kill or hurt any of your people when you're encouraging me to stay here and let the same be done to mine!"

The rage was rising again, and his chest hurt. It was squeezing his heart out of his chest. The blood running in his veins was on fire. "You tell me how I'm supposed to live with the knowledge that I did nothing! Could you do it? I know you couldn't. And I can't either. I would rather die."

Zim was on his feet now, his muscles tense and his shoulders hunched up. His ruby eyes burned with the manifestation of the heat rising in his chest and face. "You miserable cretin!" He growled, his voice hoarse. "After everything I've done for you, you're going to throw it all away for a planet that doesn't even want you? Zim has loved you; Zim gave you what you wanted, what you needed! What did those people ever give you, other than hateful glances and disappointed scowls?! They hate you; you're a freak to them! Unwanted! What is so great about that?!"

Dib sat in the silence, the aftermath of their yelling, frowning hard and staring down at the floor. "Because I am human. Because even though they may be pathetic and miserable, naïve and stupid. They are my species. I am not Irken, Zim." He spat, his body shaking.

"But, because they're not Irken I should turn my back on them? Would you do the same for me, huh? Would you ignore your species being terminated by mine? Would you not go back and try to save them? To fight for them. Or would you be fine with being the last of your kind? Because that's what I would be, Zim."

Zim's face scrunched up at the thought."That would never happen." He protested. Growling, he tugged on his antennae in frustration. "If you do this, there won't be any humans left." He began pacing, trying his best to avoid looking at the Dib, worried that whatever was keeping him together was going to snap under the pressure of those golden eyes. "You will die in vain. Is that what you want?"

"I will not have died in vain because at least I tried." Dib hissed, shaking his head, feeling sicker by the moment. "There's no way to stop me Zim. To convince me otherwise." He breathed deeply, looking away from Zim, from the alien who just a few hours ago he would've give up everything for, pretty much had. Everything but, this.

"I'm going to save Earth. Or die trying." And that was that. He laid back down in their bed, facing away from Zim and tried to force himself to sleep, knowing it wouldn't happen but, this conversation was over.

Zim felt the air being knocked out of him with the finality of Dib's words. He knew that Dib had his heart set on this, but if he thought this was the end of it, then he obviously didn't know Zim very well. He let Dib go, for now, knowing they had more time to discuss it. There was no way Dib was hearing the last of this.

With a sigh of resignation, Zim plopped down on the bed, his back facing Dib's. He felt so heavy, though not exactly tired. There was no point in trying to sleep, but it felt good just to lie down. Tomorrow was going to be worse, somehow, and Zim knew that. How were things going to be for them, now? Zim had pretty much ruined everything, was there any way he could fix it? His brow furrowed and his eyes screwed shut as he tried not to think about it.