"It is not the end of the world, you'll get through it. Never be ashamed of who you are." Ciel turned from the demon.
"Why hasn't it happened before now,I've been angry loads of was this different?"
"That blame lies with me, I pushed you over your limit and the demon began to take over, you must be careful when that occurs, I shall have to teach you to manage it. I would like you to learn how to use it to protect yourself as well."
"Isn't that what you've been doing?"
"Yes but If for whatever reason you should find yourself in trouble and I am bot close, I want you to be prepared."
"You mentioned once about a true form, one very different than you are in now, do I have one too?"
"Typically Halflings resemble humans with some demonic features, those develop soon after the first signs of change. You will learn to hide these features from others in order to conceal what you are.I know it must be difficult for you, especially to find out in this way-"
"Bet she'd be really proud now wouldn't she Sebastian?" Ciel said sadly, he was suddenly reminded of his mother and her kindness and loving nature.
"If she could be here now-" Sebastian knelt down in front of Ciel placing a hand on his shoulder.
"She would this family situation seems to have brought back memories for you, sometimes you are difficult to read, I cannot tell if they are good and you simply miss her or they are bad. Sooner or later you will have to understand that you shall never forget her and it is wonderful to have certain memories, but some must be let go.
"She would hate me, I am not the loving boy she once held in her arms. I am a monster and I did not deserve to li-" Sebastian pulled the boy into a tight hug.
"Never say that, She was proud of you the moment you came into this world, simply for being strong enough to do so. We wanted you Ciel, we love you. She married a demon not for any reason other than genuine love and you are a gift. I failed you, please forgive me. I swore to her that you would always know love."
"A gift?" Ciel asked quietly.
"Yes. You are precious to me, I never want you to feel as hurt as you have been." Something inside the young boy changed at Sebastian's words, he slowly raised his arms to return the hug. The older demon smiled though he feared that the boy would once again pull away, and hide behind his shield.
"You haven't failed, from what I recall he- you were a wonderful father and you didn't give up looking until you found me. That isn't exactly failure. We were close, the three of us, happy, I miss it."
"You can know happiness again."
"When I said you could never be my father... I feel that to call you that would be to betray him. I know It's absurd being that you are the same but-"
"No. It is a loss nonetheless, Though we are one in the same, Vincent Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis are very difficult. A butler can never be the same as a father. I was not free to give you the love I had before. Do not feel pressure to call me anything but the name you've chosen. Though I would like for you to acknowledge it one day, I understand and shall leave the choice to you"
"Thank you Sebastian."
"You are most welcome my son. If I may I'd ask a favor."
"I suppose."
"Can we attempt to work through this now, will you take down your wall and allow me to be there for you?" Ciel shook his head.
"The wall is too high now. I'm not strong enough."
"Then we will do it together, as a family." A minute passed before Ciel responded.
"You will have to continue to be patient with me, it may take a very long time."
"Take what time you need. I will be right here. For now, can I persuade you to have something to eat?"
"Can I still have that chocolate cake you talked about earlier?"
"For supper?" Sebastian asked as they stood up.
"Yes, you said so before."
"I-very well. I did offer it, would you like some milk as well?" Ciel nodded. Before Sebastian could reply, there was a loud crash from down the hall and Mey-Run and Finny shouted. The butler sighed.
"I suppose I must ask you for a little patience as well, I have a mess to clean, if you'll excuse me." Bard suddenly appeared in the doorway.
"Sebastian, I-" he started nervously.
"I know, I shall be there shortly go and wait for me."
"Right." Bard said obediently and left. Sebastian began to follow but found that the earl had wrapped his arms around his waist.
"I'm sorry. I'll try." He said simply. The demon smiled affectionately at him, he placed his own arms around the boy and gently stroked his hair.
"Thank you Ciel. This means a lot to me. I will not let you down."