I may not own Fullmetal Alchemist but I have recently got ownership of my best friend's triple D boobs. Shazam!
Saints and Sinners Chapter 1: Chance Encounter
The office of Brigadier General Mustang was usually composed of three things: slacking, smoking, and sarcastic remarks from a certain short-tempered alchemist. But today the inhabitants of Office Mustang now sat in a confused, pissed off, tired, pissed off, irritated, and pissed off silence. The General's floor was decorated in various reports, empty coffee cups occupied every officer's desk, and many things lay strewn all over the floor as a result of Edward Elric's temper fit.
"I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing." Havoc sighed and lit up another cigarette.
Edward glared at him, "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about these serial killers who are doing our job for us."
"Oh those two. They don't care who they kill. So, as far as I'm concerned they can rot in jail with the rest of the criminals." Edward went back to looking over some of the case files, his frustration was clear.
"One month, we've been looking for these two for one whole month and the only thing we have to show for it are thirteen bodies in the morgue." Roy crossed his legs and rest his chin in his palm.
"Careful there General, the damage to your ego is showing." Hawkeye said while she reloaded her gun.
"Serial killers are dropping dead as soon as they spring up. The military isn't even able to make a case until they wind up in the morgue. It makes me wonder how they are able to catch them so quickly." The General was looking at the report for the most recent victim, the Nightcrawler.
"What does the report say, General?" Breda asked.
"It says that the Nightcrawler, or Liam Jenkins, was about to take his third victim when the Saints intercepted him. Just as Liam was about to attack Lillian Sade and her newborn son the saints shot him in the arm, told Lillian to run, and after she had gotten to the police they found Liam's body."
"Rooooooy! Do you want to see picture's of my darling little Elysia?!" Maes Hughes danced his way into the office and up to Mustang's desk.
"Hughes, can't you see we are in the middle of working on a case right now?" Roy ground out in irritation, although not as much irritation as he used to. Then again, Hughes was presumed dead for the longest time. It came as a surprise to everyone when the eccentric man showed up at the hospital after the promised day. Apparently he barely survived and, having a friend who worked in autopsy, was able to fake his own death and escape to Xing.
"Well then take a break and look at these pictures of the most adorable little girl in the entire world!" Hughes shoved the pictures in Roy's face.
Out of severe irritation the Flame Alchemist snapped his fingers and burned the pictures.
"You know Roy, I'd be upset but," Hughes reached into his pocket and pulled out more pictures, "I always keep dozens of spare's on me. Ha."
"Dammit Hughes why are you even in here, you showed me these very pictures this morning."
Hughes looked over at his friend and remembered the file under his arm, "Oh yeah, I got the Background file on the Nightcrawler, otherwise known as Liam Jenkins."
Roy snatched the folder right of his friend's hand, "Then why the hell didn't you say so?"
"When you have kids Roy, you'll understand." Hughes bounced his way back out of the door, leaving Roy with an uneasy feeling.
"Damn that loud mouthed..." Edward grumbled from his seat before he got up to go read over his superior officer's shoulder.
"THAT'S IT!" Edward yelled a bit too closely to the General.
"OW. God Dammit Fullmetal, what the hell was that?!"
Edward ignored the tone in his voice, "Look here, it says that Liam frequented a bar called the Bloody Rose. The same bar that every other one of the victims had gone to at least two times a month. "
"Alright men," The General started as he stood up, all of his men following suit "We're going to the Bloody Rose. Let's see what we can find out."
"I wonder if the killers will be there." Furey pondered aloud.
"Pft. Yeah right." Falman replied, "The chances of them being there are a million to one."
Meanwhile at the Bloody Rose
Sonia POV
"Excuse the fuck out of my pussy, what did you just say?!" Ah hell to the naw, aien't no punk gonna come up and try to put the moves on my sister.
"What the hell is yo deal gir. I'm jus tryin to show this Fine fox here a real man."
"Well, fuckface, I don't know if you know this but you're no real man." This guy was absolutely disgusting. He was big, bald, and had a beard on his face that looked like some herpe infected whore's pubic hair. Le gross.
. "You be'er watch it gir, befo some one puts yo in yo place." He grabbed me with one of his dry, cracked hands.
"Oh really," I grabbed his wrist and twisted it out-of-place, making him scream in agony, "And who the fuck would be stupid enough to try something like that."
He stumbled back into his group of wanna-be gangsters that he stumbled in with. Every single one of them were white trash buffoons with stupid hair cuts and home-made tattoos. One of them had nearly no teeth, and they all needed to shower.
"Your gonna pay for that, Bitch!" One of them yelled.
I popped my knuckles, "Oh really."
"Sonia, I would really appreciate my bar being left in one piece this time."
"Don't worry about it Beth, I'm just taking out the trash."
"Sis, you really need to learn to stop getting into these fights. The last thing we need is encountering the police." Selene yelled at me as she lit up a cigarette.
"Don't worry sis. I'll beat the shit out of these thugs, quietly."
"You won't be doing shit Bitch, but lying there-" I kicked him hard in the jaw, shutting him up. One of his friends tried to land a punch after I knocked out his buddy but I easily dealt with him. These guys weren't tough at all but they were annoyingly persistent. As I was dealing with a few of the assholes I looked over to Selene who was just smoking a cigarette watching, and I get the feeling that's all she would've stayed doing, but one of the guys tried to grab her so she burnt him with a cigarette and started fighting too.
"Dirty Cunt." The bastard who's wrist I snapped pulled out a gun.
"watch your fucking language, there is no fucking reason to talk like a god damned sailor you pathetic bitch." Selene yelled while easily knocking the gun out of his hand.
"Bitch," he stepped back. "James, get these brats."
"You're the only one left standing dipshit." I laughed.
Selene jumped up on the bar and grabbed the back of his neck, "Oh we're gonna have some fun now." She smirked evilly.
"Oh yeah." I mimicked the evil smirk.
He was scared shitless as we laughed manically. We tied him to the bar lying on his back. I poured alcohol on his crotch and Selene took out a matchbook.
"No please, no." he screamed.
"You don't want me to light your junk on fire?" Selene asked.
"No!" he yelled.
"Too fucking bad." She lit a match and dropped it.
He screamed like a little bitch as we laughed and lit our cigs on the fire.
"Ha. Fire crotch." I laughed.
"I never pegged him as a ginger." Selene giggled.
The doors burst open as three military officers and a blonde dude marched in. "We're here for the surprise health inspecti-" he cut off when he saw the guy with nuts aflame.
"What the hell is going on here?" The black-haired officer yelled.
I took a drag of my cigarette and turned around, "Oh that," I gestured to the screaming cuntsack behind me, "Well you see, he spontaneously bursts into the flame all the time."
"Lying Cunts!"
Selene knocked him out with an alcohol bottle, "You shut the fuck up."
Mr. Military snapped his fingers and Dickweed stopped flaming. "The fuck." I looked at Selene and she just shrugged.
"Now would you care to tell us what the hell is going on in here?" The blonde military lady asked.
"Nope." I replied throwing my cigarette across the room.
"That's a nice vocabulary you got there." Selene put her cigarette out on the guys leg.
"You just assaulted a civilian, in front of the military. Do you have an operating brain?" the only one of them not in a military uniform asked.
"I just don't give a fuck who you are."
"Who are you two kids anyway? You don't look old enough to be in a bar, or even smoking for that matter." Another officer asked, this one had blonde hair and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
"Who am I? Who am I?" I started asking and the four of them nodded. "Imma be the opposite of right, cuz I done be left." My sister and I took off out the back.
"Hey, you two stop!" The dark-haired man yelled.
As we flew out of the back door we nearly hit a wall. No, it wasn't a wall. It was a man. A man-wall.
"Haho!" The man wall yelled as he took off his shirt. "Where do two young ladies think you're going alone in the middle of the night?"
"There's a man, who is a wall, that called me a ho, and then took his shirt off. I do not know how to react." I stood there, stunned.
It didn't take too long for the military officers to burst out of the bar. "Very good Armstrong. Thank you for catching the criminals."
"Criminals? We are not criminals." Selene yelled at the dark-haired military man.
"You two just assaulted nine men."
"Hey, we didn't assault anyone. It was a bar fight that they started. The fact that we whipped their bitch asses doesn't mean we assaulted them." I retorted.
"You dropped these in the bar," The guy with the long blonde hair pulled something out of his coat pocket. "Sonia and Selene Dupree, born October 11," he paused and something flashed in his eyes, "1902. You two are only sixteen, and it's painfully obvious the two of you were drinking. Now you also have an underage drinking charge."
"Not to mention you ran out of the bar, making you drunk in public." The blonde lady said.
"And you can try to say whatever you want, but we have permission to bring you in for questioning." The dark-haired guy smirked. Shit face.
"Fuck. You." we started flipping them all off.
"Now you two can either come down with us back to HQ, or we can formally arrest you and the likelihood of you two getting out anytime soon is slim to none."
"How long do you want us at HQ?" I asked.
"We will keep you there and let you out sometime tomorrow."
"Will there be complimentary snacks and beverages?"
"We might give you something to eat, if you answer all of our questions."
"Alright." My sister and I shared a look. "But we better be getting the food, or we will eat your souls."
End Chapter.
So what did you think? How were the saints? I just couldn't bear not having Hughes alive so I decided to add him in here just because he will be very useful in the story later. That and Alphonse is in Xing with Mei, and the only reason Edward is here is because after the events of the promised we had Hoenheim give Edward his gate so Ed can do alchemy. Say what you want but the power of fanfiction is Awesome and it can do anything.
Read and Review. No Flames. Or the saints will end you.