Chapter Fourteen

Some days were good... Other days, not so good. Every step closer I got to Nick, the further he'd run away. I knew he didn't mean to, but it was starting to get to me. We slept together every night, but during the day he could be a completely different person.

Weeks had passed since his mom's death, and I had hoped things would get better. Pete was definitely handling it better than Nick. Maybe it was because I wasn't good at grieving, but it was always easier for me to move on and try to forget than mourn. I would mourn for a while, go numb, then carry on with my life. The dead were walking- people would always die.

I leaned my arm against the railing of the deck. The sky was dark, and it looked like it was going to rain. I sighed, leaning my head against my hands. Things weren't getting any easier. I had to accept that. Nick would only fall deeper into his depression if I didn't suck it up, and try to be happier.

"Hey." I looked over at Luke who was grinning at me.

I didn't know why, but seeing him grin made my heart sink. I looked out towards the forest. "Hey."

"It's gonna rain, you shouldn't be out here." He stood beside me, leaning against the railing too.

"Rain could hardly hurt me, Luke."

Luke chuckled. "I know, but you're gonna get soaked and then you could get a cold."

I laughed. "Oh, please don't treat me like I'm five!"

Luke nudged my side. "It's true."

I frowned slightly. "Luke... I don't know if I can do this anymore."

"Do what?" He asked frowning.

"All of this... This world, it's killing me." I ran my fingers through my hair. "I mean, fuck, I can't even handle Nick pulling away from me, how can I survive all of this?"

Luke sighed. "You're strong, Tasha. You're gonna be one of the people to bring us back."

"No! No I'm not!"

Tears began to fall down my face. "Was I just your fuck toy? Someone you could just fucking use for your own gain?"

Luke pulled me close, his hands on the sides of my face. "No! No, Tasha. I love you." Like leaned down, pressing his lips against mine.

I pulled away. "No, Luke..."

Luke began to stroke my cheek, a soft expression on his face. "Everything I did was to protect you." I could feel his breath on my face, and I knew I should pull away. I should tell him that none of that mattered now, but I couldn't. Luke leaned forward slightly, his brown eyes searching mine. "I love you, Tasha." He said again as rain started to fall around us. "I've always loved you." Luke's lips touched mine slowly as his hands moved to my waist. I let out a soft gasp as he pulled me against him. Getting caught up in the moment, I began to kiss him back. His lips weren't as soft- they were rough and chapped. His fingers dug into my back almost uncomfortably. The kiss was slow, but Luke wouldn't let me pull away. I would start to, but he'd only hold me closer.

Before I knew it, Luke was pulled off me.

Nick stood between us, a look on his face I can't describe. He looked so betrayed... So broken and confused. What had I just done? Why had I let Luke manipulate me like that? Why had I let an old flame reignite when I knew what I wanted!

"Nick-"

"Don't." His voice was so quiet it barely could be heard. He was staring at Luke, who almost had an annoyed expression on his face.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from her." Nick stepped towards Luke.

"I did." Luke folded his arms across his chest. "You're the one who pushed her right back into my arms."

"Luke, stop-"

Luke looked smugly at Nick. "Does she do that thing with you? Does she do that thing with her hips when you two-"

Nick punched Luke across the face, causing me to run at them. Nick pushed me away as Luke began to fight back, punching and kicking Nick. I screamed for help, and soon enough Alvin and Pete came out.

"Woah, woah, woah! What's goin' on here?" Pete asked as Nick struggled out of his grasp. "Ask them." Nick muttered as he stalked by me.

"Nick!" I tried to grab his arm, but he shook it off.

I turned towards Luke, tears falling down my face. "Tasha, I-"

I reached forward, punching him as hard as I could across the face. Alvin held me back before I could do anything else. "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" I screamed, tears flowing down my face. Everyone else except for Sarah was outside now, just observing us. "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

"You did just as much as I did-"

"Stop, stop acting like all I did was want you! I didn't! I don't! People like you are the reason I'm fucked in the first place!" I said as I stormed off, hoping Nick would at least hear me out...

He didn't.

"Nick!" I shook the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge. He fucking locked it. "Nick, please, just let me explain!"

Why didn't I see it? All those times Luke would get close to me, all those times he would try to spend time with me... He never stopped trying to get with me. All this time he'd been trying, and now we might've ruined everything.

"Nick!" I begged, jumping slightly as he opened the door. His hat covered his eyes enough that all I could see was they were glistening with tears. Nick let me walk in, sitting on the bed while I slowly, carefully made my way over. I sat a foot away from him, too scared he would freak out and yell if I got too close.

"Nick, I don't love him."

Nick was quiet for a moment. "You were kissing him, Tasha..."

"Nick, I know, but-"

"You were with him first... I get it..." Nick's voice broke and his hands began to shake. I reached forward slowly, grabbing his hand. "No, Nick! Yeah, I kissed him! I don't know why I did, but it happened. I love you, Nick... I could never love Luke, not ever as much as I love you."

Nick glanced at me before looking away. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. "Back when I was in that group I told you about... We had come across my best friend, Ben." I started quietly, finding it hard to speak his name. "Ben and I had been close our entire life... He was stupid, and reckless but I loved him." Nick looked down at me, a frown on his face. "Ben and I were together for a while..." I cringed as I felt tears swell up in my eyes. I took a deep breath. "He died. He fell as we were jumping to a roof and he got stabbed through the stomach, after a long fall to the ground..." My voice trailed off as I stared past Nick's face, almost seeing the horrid memory play once more. Nick reached up, touching my cheek.

I shook my head slowly. "The point is, the last time I felt loved was by him, over two years ago...until i met you... I was so terrified, Nick, but I let you in... You showed me I didn't have to be afraid anymore... And I promise you, I'm not leaving you."

Nick stroked my cheek slowly, a few tears falling down his face. "I love you, so much..." His voice was a soft, sad whisper. "But you need time to think about what... Who you really want."

"Nick, I just told you one of the hardest things in my life yet you still don't believe me?" I asked as he pulled away from me.

"I do believe you... But I'm giving you time to decide."

I tried and tried to convince him, but he just ignored me. I understood; he was upset and HE needed time to think. It wasn't just for me. I took a deep breath, squeezing his hand one last time. "I'm sorry..."

The first day was understandable... But when it came to the second, and third... It was pure agony. Luke and I had made up... In some ways. Nick wouldn't even talk to me. I knew what I wanted; what I needed. Why wouldn't he understand that?

I spent time with Luke, but all I felt was guilt when I did. I loved Nick. Sure, a part of me loved Luke but nothing compared to how much I loved Nick.

I had went to Pete for advice. He was disappointed in both Luke and me, but I think he knew I didn't really understand what was going on. Pete and I were on watch one night, and he had a stern conversation with me.

"Tasha…I know you had a thing with Luke. I've known him since him and Nick were kids, and no doubt he's come to me for advice when he needed it. He also did the same when he first asked you out. He didn't necessarily name any names, but he did ask me what the most romantic place is at the moment,and I told him the old watch tower near the camp,perfect for star gazing. I figured it out when Nick told me that you two were dating,and I could tell Nick was a little upset, though I doubt he knew he had feelings for you at the time."

I nodded in response, not really sure what to say.

"I also knew that time when we went huntin', when I said I heard you got into a little spat with Luke that morning meant you two were over, and thats the point I wanna make with you . You and Luke are over. Now, I ain't your father or anything and I'm not tryin' to be, but my nephews feelings are on the line,and you have a big part in that, I just want you to know that."

"I know, Pete." I took a deep breath. "You know, for the past few weeks all I could think about was losing him... What if he got bit or something? He means the world to me..." I smiled thoughtfully. "If things were normal, I'd marry him. Nick's the only person I can see a future with... I wish he'd see that."

Pete patted my shoulder. "He loves ya, he'll come around."

Carlos had told me that I had to choose; that what I was doing was tearing the group apart. Everyone was acting like I was a whore, yet I had no idea Luke was trying to get with me!

Nick was out fishing with Pete so I was able to be in our room for once. I sighed as I gripped onto the covers, staring around the room. It was horrible, not being with Nick. He wouldn't speak with me. He would come down and eat dinner, thankfully, but whenever our eyes would meet we would both awkwardly look away.

I jumped slightly as Nick walked into the room, closing the door behind him. I smiled when I saw him, happy that he was finally back.

"Nick-"

"Do you really love me?"

I stared at him. I stood up slowly, nodding as I walked towards him. "Yes, Nick. I've always loved you."

"Do you love Luke?" His voice was so quiet.

"I... I don't know." I said honestly. "A part of me, maybe. But even if I do, that doesn't matter to me. I chose the moment he left me who I wanted. It's always been you... Even when I was with him before, I wanted you, Nick."

Nick reached in his pocket, holding something in his hand. "Nick?" I asked quietly, almost afraid.

"If you really love me..." Nick got down on one knee, holding out a beautiful diamond ring. "Tasha, will you marry me?"

I nodded, tears falling down my face. "Yes! Nick, yes!"

Nick slipped the ring on my finger before grabbing me and kissing me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I pulled him tighter against me. "I missed you." Nick said as he stared down at me. I smiled. "I missed you, too."

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! I know a lot happened this chapter :O Review telling me what you wanna see next? ;)

RKaarisNK: I'm glad it was alright. It was very sad to write it xD but it's the walking dead,

And things are gonna get dark and gloomy sometimes. As you saw in this chapter, Luke definitely "helped" in a way?