Chapter Sixteen

I've never been down this road before

As the days go by I only miss you more

I thought one day we would touch the sky

Never grow up and never going to die

I never realized what you meant to me

Until I tried drowning out your memory

But it burns red like it's not over

It only hurts when I'm sober

I woke with my head on Nick's chest. I smiled as I curled into his warm body, listening to his gentle heartbeat. Nick ran his fingers through my hair as I pushed myself on to my arms, looking down at him. Nick's blue eyes were bright in the sunlight, and he looked so cute while he stared at me.

I leaned down slowly, giving him a gentle kiss as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Nick wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him as he kissed me back. I began to run my fingers through his hair as I moved so I was on top of Nick, straddling his waist. Nick groaned, pulling away slightly. "Carlos said-"

"Nick." I looked at him with a serious expression. "We're married now. As long as you go easy on me, I'll be fine."

Nick smirked, pulling my body tight against his. "Who says I can go easy?"

Nick was always so gentle. It was almost as if he was afraid he'd break me. Nick was nearly a foot taller than me, but I didn't mind it. Nick would normally hang back and let me take the lead, but there were times when he'd get rough and be dominant. I can't say I didn't enjoy those days.

It was different with him. It was special. Each time it brought us closer together; we were one instead of two. I think the stress he bottled up was let out during our bliss, that's probably why some occasions he'd get rougher than usual. Sometimes I felt awkward being the one in charge, but I was used to it.

I pulled the sheet off as the sun beat down on us. It was probably noon now. "C'mon, baby. I'm hungry."

Nick stood with a grin, pulling me up into his arms. I gave him a soft peck before pulling on my bra and panties. Nick pulled on his clothes before helping me pull on my shirt and pants. Nick agreed to let me go downstairs to spend time with Clem, as long as I kept the moving to a minimum.

"Tasha!" Clementine grinned at me as Nick and I walked into the kitchen. She was sitting with Pete, Luke and Sarah at the dining table, and I couldn't help but be glad she was getting along with them.

"Hey, Clemmy." I said as I waited for Nick to grab me a bowl of Cereal. "How was your first night?"

"It was the best sleep I've had in months." She admitted, taking another spoonful of cereal.

"I hear you." I grinned as I nudged Nick's side playfully. "I had a pretty good sleep, too."

"You've been sleepin' for five days straight. Might as well start callin' ya sleeping beauty." Luke joked, a smirk on his face.

"Oh, ha ha."

"He ain't wrong." Nick said as he handed me my bowl of cereal. "You are a beauty."

I felt a blush creep on to my cheeks as I sat across from Clementine and next to Pete. Nick sat next to me, close enough I could lean my head against his shoulder. I was amazed at how exhausted I was; and the day had only just begun.

"What's the plan for today, boys?" I asked after a while, taking a sip of water.

"We have watch most of the afternoon." Luke said as he finished his cereal. "What are you two girls gonna do?"

Clementine looked at me expectantly. "Oh, I have a few ideas in mind. C'mon, Clem." I gave Nick a quick kiss before walking out of the house with Clementine. I set one of my sketchpads on the ground for her while I brought out Luke's guitar. "You still have this?" Clementine asked with a grin as she flipped through the pictures I let her draw in it.

"It was yours, Clem. I've been keeping it safe for you."

Clementine held up a picture she drew of me and Ben. I laughed. "Oh, I remember that! You drew that before we got together, you were trying to get us to admit that we liked each other."

"It worked, didn't it?" She took the sketchpad back with a smirk, laying on the ground as she flipped to a blank page and began to draw. It must've been weird for her, having not been able to draw in over a year.

I strummed on Luke's guitar as Clementine drew. It had been so long since I had played. The guitar was still in tune, so I strummed a simple melody. I started to hum to the beat, trying to recall any songs I could sing. Singing had been one of my favorite things to do, then Ben died and I never really wanted to. But after meeting Nick, it brought back the melodies and the lyrics I used to always sing.

"I'm tugging at my hair

I'm pulling at my clothes

I'm trying to keep my cool

I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet

My cheeks are turning red

I'm searching for the words inside my head..."

As I sung Clementine turned and smiled at me. I guess it had been over two years since she heard me sing, and I knew it would calm her down and make her happy. I continued to sing, feeling my heart lift as I finished the song.

"Who knew she could sing?" Luke said from the porch, a grin on his face.

Nick stood beside him, smiling at me. "You should hear her in the morning, she always sings when she thinks I'm not listening."

I stuck my tongue out at them. "I'll just stop, then."

They shook their heads in unison. "No, continue."

I rolled my eyes as I started strumming again. This time I thought of a song that reminded me of Nick. "You're so beautiful

But that's not why I love you

I'm not sure you know

That the reason I love you is you

Being you

Just you

Yeah the reason I love you is all that we've been through

And that's why I love you..."

Clementine and I had started to talk a lot about the group. Rebecca wasn't taking kindly to her, but I knew she'd lighten up.

"Rebecca's just under a lot of stress, Clem. I wouldn't take it too seriously."

"Luke seems nice." She suddenly said as she kept drawing. I glanced at her before strumming again on the guitar.

"Yeah, he is. I'm glad Pete and him found you."

"He protected me." Clementine continued. "Luke treats me like an adult, not some kid who can't survive... and he seem to put you first in his priorities most of the time…I think you guys would be real cool together y'know?"

I looked at her with an amused expression as I set the guitar down. "Oh yeah, Clem? What else?"

She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration before sighing. "Luke asked me to talk to you... He really likes you, Tasha... Kind of reminds me of Ben."

My face fell as she brought up Ben. I smiled quickly however, showing Clementine the ring Nick had gave me. "Clementine, I'm married to Nick."

Her eyes widened as she stared at the ring. "R-really?" She stuttered.

I nodded. "Yeah, but don't tell anyone, okay? We're announcing it later... Me and Luke- we just don't mix, okay? He's like fire, and I'm ice. We don't combine."

"How would you know?" Clementine asked, looking up at me through her hat.

I sighed. "I was with him at first. It didn't work out. We're friends now."

"You know, before Ben died he talked about you to me." Clementine said after a while. I blinked a few times, taking a deep breath before replying. "Oh? What did he say?"

"He was telling me how much he loved you... He was talking about how he didn't deserve you, but he needed you..."

I nodded. "Yeah... I'm glad we at least got to be together again, even if it wasn't for long..."

I frowned after a while. "I uh, gotta go to the washroom... You should head inside."

I turned on the tap, patting my face with cold water.

His bright blue eyes met mine with an intensity I knew all too well. The innocence... Was uncanny.

I gripped onto the sink as I felt tears mix with the cold water dripping down my face. All the memories I had try to repress, we're starting to come back. Every moment I spent with Clem, was a moment that they were trying to break through.

"Ben?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to stop the memories from coming back, but that's all they did...

"You're beautiful." His voice was quiet, as if he was unsure of himself. "I don't understand why you'd want me."

I smiled as I held onto his hand. "You're my best friend... I love you..."

I slammed my fist against the mirror, breaking bits of it into dozens of little pieces. My hand started to bleed as I felt my hand sting from the glass stuck in my hand. My body shook as I grabbed a cloth, wrapping my hand in it as I walked downstairs.

"What the hell happened?" Nick asked as Carlos took a look at my hand.

"I uh... Punched the mirror." I admitted, taking a sharp breath when Carlos removed little shards of glass.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Nick asked as he stared at me with a worried expression.

"I got mad?" I replied with annoyance. Why else would I punch the mirror?

Nick narrowed his eyes at me. "Your hand is fine." Carlos said as he wrapped some sort of medical bandage around it. "I wouldn't recommend punching anymore mirrors though." A smile came to his face as he chuckled.

"How funny." I replied, shaking my head as he left the room. Nick sighed, taking my hand gently in his as he looked at it.

"What made you so mad that you took it out on the mirror?"

I shrugged. "I don't know..."

"I can tell when you're lying." He replied quietly as he let go of my hand slowly.

"I know." I muttered. "Can we talk about it later? We kinda gotta announce this before we go to bed."

"Sure." Nick wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked into the living room where everyone else was sitting.

"Um, we got something to tell you guys." Nick said as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes. "What he means to say is we have an announcement. Be more enthusiastic." I joked, nudging him in the side.

"We're married." Nick said, not looking at anyone but me. I grinned at the others before looking to him.

"When the hell did that happen?" Alvin asked, making me laugh.

"A few weeks ago." I replied, holding Nick's hand tight.

Everyone came over to congratulate us. Even Clem came over and gave Nick a serious look. I think she intimidated him a bit. When Luke walked over to us, he was grinning. "I'm really happy for you guys." He said as he hugged Nick.

"Thanks, man." Nick smiled at his best friend.

I gave Luke a short hug, knowing it was best not to poke the bear. Luke gave us one last smile before leaving to go take watch. I could tell he was trying to be nice, but I knew he was probably upset.

"You gonna come to bed with me?" Nick whispered into my ear low as he nibbled on it. I bit my lip as I stared out at Luke, knowing I had to talk to him.

"How about you meet me up there?" I smiled up at Nick, giving him a deep kiss. Nick grinned, nodding as he walked upstairs into our bedroom.

"Hey." I said as I walked out onto the porch.

"Oh." Luke looked at me, smiling. "Hey Tasha."

I put my hands in my pockets as I walked towards him. "How are you?"

"Fine." He replied, not looking at me. I frowned, standing close beside him. "You don't have to lie to me, you know... I know you're mad at me, and I understand. But I hate this. I hate us not talking..."

Luke looked at me, tears falling down his face. "Oh, shit... Luke, I-"

"I love you... I'm glad your happy, I just..." I wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a tight hug. Luke sobbed into me, something I thought I'd never see.

"Luke..." I frowned. "I'll always love you. You know that... I accept that you'll always love me, too... But I'm in love with Nick... That's how it's gotta be."

Luke nodded. "I know... He's my best friend, and I'm glad he's happy." Luke pulled away, wiping the tears from his face. He leaned down, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "I am happy for you two... You both deserve to be happy."

I frowned once more, leaning my forehead against his. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I keep hurting you."

"Are we gonna talk about earlier?" Nick asked as I rested my head against his chest.

"I'm fine, Nick." I mumbled, grabbing on to his shirt to keep him from moving.

"The hell you are! You could've broke your hand!"

I sighed. "Look, seeing Clementine is bringing back a lot of things from my past, okay?"

"It's him, right?" Nick asked. "Ben?"

I sat up, pulling the blankets over me. "Yup." My voice was quiet, and I sensed Nick could tell he struck a nerve.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked as I curled into his warm body.

"Nope. I'd like to sleep with my husband, though."

Nick sighed. "Enjoy it while you can, darlin'. Uncle Pete wants to take your little girl to the river."

Everyone had begun to call Clementine my little girl, which I didn't mind. I remembered when people would do that with Lee. A smile appeared on my face. "I'm guessing he wants you to tag along?"

Nick nodded. "I'd ask you to go, but you need to rest."

I sighed. "Fine, just promise me you'll be careful? I don't wanna lose you."

"I promise."

A/N: Thank you all for the 100 reviews on my story :3 it's really awesome that so many of you keep reviewing. I'm sorry I haven't been posting as much, I was busy getting my learners and just focussing on my life. I hope you understand.