Taylor felt like someone had cut him open with a blunt knife and raggedly scooped his insides out to play tug of war with. His concentration was shot as he didn't know which way to turn or what to do. Everything just felt raw and empty. The last time he had felt this way was when Ayani had died, he had had Lucas and his command to contend with as well as the grief of losing his wife in the most heinous manner. At the centre of it, he knew there was only one person to blame and that was himself.
Now he sat by a one person cot where his two little girls refused to settle down. They had been crying off and on even though there was nothing physically wrong with them. Taylor seemed to have lost his knack in calming them down and blamed himself. His son was dead and his current wife was in surgery and for all he knew was going to die. It would deserve him right if she did die.
"Taylor"
Taylor turned his head around to see Evan.
"Evan" Taylor said noting Evan's presence, the young man walked over and knelt down next to cot on the opposite side of the twins. The girls were fussing and making faces as if taunting Taylor in reminding him of what a bad father he was. He had failed his first born who now laid dead in the morgue of the secondary research labs. He wondered how he was going to screw their lives up and if they would turn against him.
"Shannon told me everything" Evan said in a soft tone, he looked down at the twins and played with their hands mirroring their facial expressions. The twins who had been about to belt out a good crying jag now looked up at him perplexed as to what he was doing.
"Lucas is dead" Taylor said despondently.
"I know" Evan said, Taylor couldn't help but notice how when he said Lucas was dead the main response he got was 'I know'. Not 'My condolences' or 'I'm sorry' but 'I know'. He had hoped there would be some empathy about Taylor's loss but if anything all he saw was relief.
"My son is dead" Taylor told him, Evan looked up from the twins.
"But your daughters and wife are alive and have survived" Evan reminded him in a firm manner as if it was supposed to be all Taylor cared about. He stared at Evan for a moment before looking away.
"Yes, they are" Taylor murmured, he knew he should be elated but he couldn't summon the correct emotions as all he felt was guilt, grief and hollowness in his being. A disconnection from everything, he knew he should hold the twins and tell them everything was going to be alright. That he should be shouting orders, doing something but he just couldn't decide where to start. It was not something that happened to him a lot so when it did he found himself at a blank.
"I know Alicia always has trouble deciding who to pick up first when they are fussy. So why don't I take Ella while you get Ava" Evan suggested as he picked Ella up into his arms and mumbled words of comfort to the little girl. Taylor wondered if Evan had made him pick up ava as she looked most like Alicia with her fluffy raven hair. But said nothing as he picked Ava up and held her to his chest and murmured words of comfort to her until she settled in his arms.
"That, should do it" Reilly said as she pulled the last wire. The mine powered down proving her point and she gave an inward sigh of relief that she hadn't become mince meat on the wall. Mira looked at Reilly.
"It's disarmed?" Mira asked. Reilly nodded.
"Yes, you can take her off" Reilly said as she packed up her tools. Mira pulled her daughter off the mine. She laid onto her back and pulled her daughter into a tight hold closing her eyes and giving a silent thank you to whatever higher power she believed in.
Reilly motioned to Reynolds and he stepped forward picking up the mine as she got to her feet. She walked over to Carter as Reynolds left the house.
"You're in deep" Reilly told Carter in a low voice to the man.
"Aren't I always?" Carter asked mockingly, he gave her a once over as if he wanted to go back to their place and while away a few hours in pleasure but Reilly just wanted to stow the mine then go home and take a shower.
"Taylor's going to rip you and Mira to shreds over this when the dust has settled" Reilly told him. He made a derisive noise while holding her gaze.
"Please, I'm more afraid of Kate than Taylor." He said and Reilly couldn't help but smile as she believed him.
"I can understand that" Reilly with a quirk of the lips.
"Yeah, I'm man enough to say it. Hey, considering my days are numbered you want throw a leg over later? Get one more ride in before it's close down for good?" Carter asked her. Reilly rolled her eyes at him and shook her head as she left the house. "Is that a yes?" Carter asked her.
Kate smiled as she watched Malcolm sleep beside her in bed. She wondered idly if she should wake him up but decided against it as he needed his rest. She slowly rose from the bed and padded out to the kitchen. She picked up her comm. unit from the bench and checked through her messages. Evan did as promised and she gave a sigh of relief as she read through the progress reports to the last one that said Alicia was still in surgery and the twins were fine. If Alicia was still in surgery it meant she was still alive. He didn't mention Taylor but Kate had a feeling that Taylor was either sitting in a catatonic state or burying himself in work avoiding what was going on.
She wished she could help them in some form but right now she was in no shape to help anyone but her son and herself. She needed at least 72 hours to herself and her family. Her body panged with pain as she moved around the kitchen getting herself a glass of water and picking up an apple and pulling a knife from the knife block to peel and core the apple. She was about half way through when Caleb let out a tiny cry followed by a snuffling noise indicating he was awake. It was a noise she found incredibly adorable though she was sure would get old very quickly.
She placed the apple on the bench with the knife and washed her hands quickly before she moved back into the bedroom to Caleb's cot. Malcolm was completely crashed out as she noted he hadn't moved since she left the bed. She smiled as she lifted Caleb into her arms, "Well hello to you too, I guess you some food aye?" she said in hushed tones to Caleb as she took her little boy out of the room to let Malcolm sleep.
"Commander" Guzman said coming up to Taylor, who was pacing with Ava in his arms. The girl was asleep and currently drooling a lake of spit on his shoulder. Evan was currently lying on the cot the twins had occupied and was snoring softly with Ella lying on his chest. He was amazed his daughter could sleep through the noise but then it was a rhythmic noise.
"Guzman" Taylor said greeting the man.
"The mine has been disarmed and removed from Mira's dwellings back into the Armoury. We have also run a stock take, all weaponry and artillery are accounted for and the armouries have been secured" Guzman said, Taylor gave a nod of his head.
"How's Mira's girl?" Taylor asked.
"She'll be fine." Guzman said, a moment of silence lapsed between them. "Sir, how's Wash doing?" Guzman asked, he looked over to the curtained area off for surgery.
"Still in surgery, no word on her condition" Taylor said, he wished someone would come and give him an update but it was all hands on deck. He could only hope when someone did surface they were smiling with good news. This time Guzman gave a nod before looking guilty.
"Sir, I'm sorry for going behind your back with Shannon and disobeying your orders." He said, Taylor gave a dismissive shake of his head.
"I would have done the same. Anyway it wouldn't have made a difference whether you were here or not. Alicia would have killed him eventually" Taylor said. Guzman visibly twitched as it sounded like Taylor was accusing Alicia of murdering his son when what he heard it was self defence. He knew it was self defence, Alicia would never do anything to purposely hurt Taylor.
"Sir-" Guzman started but he was cut off as the curtained off room opened and Dr Hastings stepped out, he gave a few whispered orders to Nurse Ogawa before he pulled off his operating gown and gloves tossing them into the bins. Blood had stained through the gown onto his t-shirt but Hastings was either completely oblivious or didn't care.
"Commander Taylor" Dr Hastings said in greeting to him, he gave a nod to Guzman who had stepped back to give them some privacy.
"Dr Hastings" Taylor said.
"Your wife is a fighter. Now, I've repaired the damage to her flank but she's still in critical condition. She lost a lot of blood and from what I understand she was unconscious when you came on the scene" Hastings said, Taylor nodded. He swallowed his nausea at the memories while Dr Hastings continued "So I'm going to keep her on the bio-bed as a priority number one. For now it's a waiting game to see when she wakes up and then we'll be able to perform a diagnostic test to see if worst case scenario she suffered any brain damage and to what extent"
"So she could have memory loss like Malcolm did" Taylor said slowly. Dr Hastings shook his head.
"No, Dr Wallace's case was different he suffered brain trauma and blood loss. The thing is she could wake up and be just fine but we won't know until she wake. This is a good outcome considering what could have happened" Hastings said, Taylor felt a stab of anger as he felt it was a jab at Lucas being killed than it being about Alicia.
"Which is what?" Taylor asked in a dark tone.
"If she hadn't lost her kidney in Somalia and Lucas stabbed her, she would be dead right now" Dr Hastings told him. The man had a manner of making it sound casual and nonchalant. Taylor had to remind himself that the Doctor had to be removed and professional as he was just there to patch up the body parts not have a personal stake in it.
"How long until she wakes up?" Taylor asked.
"I can't put a time on it. Could be hours or could be days" Hastings told him. Taylor nodded and knew he couldn't do anything more in the infirmary and he wanted to take the twins home and have them settled in a familiar surroundings.
"Ok keep me posted on her condition. I also want an autopsy performed on my son" Taylor told him.
"Is there any point?" Dr Hastings asked, he made it sound like it would be a waste of resources.
"Yes, I want to know-" Taylor started but Hastings cut him off.
"I can tell you now. He has multiple facial fractures indicative of a sonic blast to face at close range" Hastings told him. Taylor shot him a dark look.
"I still want an autopsy performed and a formal report written for the record within the next 6 hours. Then I want his remains prepped for transport, is that understood?" Taylor informed him.
"Yes, Commander" Hastings said in a dry tone as he didn't appreciate his time being wasted. He walked away and headed back into the curtained off area. Taylor turned to Guzman and the man stepped forward.
"Guzman, I'm taking my daughters home and the colony is in yours and Shannon's hands. I also want a meeting in the morning with heads of departments so we can organise the repairs of the colony and have everyone on the same page" Taylor told him. Guzman nodded taking note of his orders.
"Yes, Sir. What time do you want the meeting called for?" Guzman asked pulling out his comm.
"0900 hours, my house. You're dismissed" Taylor told him.
"Yes Sir" Guzman said turned on his feet and walked away to go in search of Shannon to pass on the message about the meeting.
Taylor moved to the cot where Evan was sleeping and sat down on the chair beside it. He reached out and touched Evan's shoulder and he woke up slowly.
"Hey, what's going on?" Evan asked as he wrapped an arm around Ella and sat up. He rubbed a hand down his face wiping the fatigue away from his face.
"Alicia is alive but in critical condition due to the blood loss. They won't lower her condition status until she stabilises" Taylor said, Evan nodded but looked a little bit relieved at the good news that Alicia was still alive. He lowered Ella onto the cot and pulled out his comm. unit.
"Ok, I'll pass the message onto Kate" Evan said as he messaged Kate. "So do you want me to help you get these two home. I think they'll be more comfortable there" Evan said as he sent the message and looked to Taylor.
"Yes and then you can go home" Taylor said.
"Taylor-"
"Evan, I can look after my own children take care of your own kids and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow, there will be a staff meeting at 9 and I expect you to represent the science department as Malcolm has his hands full" Taylor told him.
"Alright, well let's go" Evan said he knew better than to argue with Taylor.
Kate laid Caleb down in his cot and was about to crawl back into bed to join Malcolm who was still asleep when a knock sounded on the door. She made a face and contemplated the idea of ignoring it as she really wanted to lie down but headed for the door instead. When she opened it she found Evan on her doorstep looking perturbed and exhausted.
"Evan, is everything alright? I thought you were helping Taylor out." Kate said confused as to why he was knocking on her door as she assumed no one would drop by unless there was an emergency as she and Malcolm needed to rest and bonding time as a family.
"Yeah, Alicia's still alive. You got the messages right?" Evan asked, Kate nodded and Evan looked relieved before concern marred his handsome features. "She's going to be out for a while due to blood loss. Taylor kicked me out and doesn't want my help but he's really screwed up but he won't listen to me. I was thinking you-"
"No, I can't. I'm sorry, I love you all but I'm tired and sore give me a few days and I'll step in but not today" Kate said cutting Evan off as she knew he wanted to go talk to Taylor but she didn't have the emotional control or energy to do so. The fact that when she felt like her friends needed her and she couldn't find the energy to do so frustrated her and tears began to well in her eyes.
Evan's eyes went wide as he realised his folly, he had been worried about his sister and nieces and knew Kate could help but stupidly forgot to take into consideration that Kate had just had a baby and he knew from experience she wouldn't have had a decent sleep since giving birth. Here he was asking her to get involved in his problems with Taylor.
"Yeah of course. Oh man, don't cry I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry" Evan said to her, he cringed as he starting patting her arm awkwardly. He would have hugged her but he was afraid she'd go from teary eyed to angry and he didn't want her to physically hurt him. The tears that had been forming in Kate's eyes subsided as she looked at his hand that was stroking her arm with a mix of confusion and disgust.
"Why are you stroking my arm like I'm a pet?" Kate asked him in a careful tone.
"Because I figured you'd get a little claustrophobic in a hug and hey no tears" Evan cheered as he even gave her a slightly cheesy smile as he took his hand back.
"Right, you want some tea or something?" Kate asked him. He could see she was exhausted and shook his head glad that she was no longer upset.
"Nah, I should go see my own kids. Make sure they haven't grown up and started their own families while I was away" Evan said with a smile.
"Funny" Kate told him in a dry tone.
"I know I'm a regular comedian. Look I'm sorry, it was way out of line for me to come over here, it's just that you are pretty tight with my sister and Taylor. I figured you'd be able to help get through to Taylor better than me" Evan said. Kate gave a nod and looked away for a moment before looking back at him.
"It's ok and you know we all need a few days to calm down and regroup. If Taylor needs us he'll call" Kate assured him.
"You're right, well take care" Evan told her.
"I will and you take care of yourself and your kids." Kate told him.
"I will, bye" Evan said feeling rather awkward and kind of an ass about the whole exchange.
"Bye" Kate said, she closed the door and pressed her forehead to the door and gave a sigh. She took a moment to remind herself that right now she was allowed to have her own time with Malcolm and Caleb. She was allowed to step back and take care of herself and not feel guilty about it. She exhaled slowly and flicked the locks on the door before heading back to bed.
She slid under the covers and curled herself up against Malcolm. She placed her head on his chest as he slowly woke up to pull her close.
"Who was at the door?" he asked in a sleepy tone.
"Evan. Alicia's in critical condition and Taylor's a mess. He wants me to go over to talk some sense into the man and help with the twins" Kate said, Malcolm's arms wrapped around her pulling her closer to him. She gave a muffled groan as her muscles complained the movement.
"You're staying here" he told her gruffly.
"You know you're becoming incredibly possessive" Kate teased as Malcolm loosened his hold and slowly massaged her back. Kate relaxed in his arms. "I feel torn up about it. We're supposed to help our friends when they need us-"
"There are exceptions and we will help them when and if the situation becomes dire until then there are other people who can step in and help Taylor." Malcolm assured her. Kate nodded accepting his opinion as she was too tired to argue and her body didn't want to move as Malcolm's body was keeping her toasty while his hands soothed her muscles.
"Ok" she said as she accepted his reasoning.
"Let's get some sleep while we can and when we wake up I'll make us some food" he told her, He kissed her forehead and Kate closed her eyes slowly drifting off to sleep.
"You're early" Taylor said the next morning as it wasn't even 8:30am an Evan was at his door step. He opened it wider letting him in. He knew Evan's concern was the welfare of the twins. It was almost insulting that Evan would think Taylor wouldn't look after his daughters. He had managed as best he could. The twins had been fitful all night and morning but he kept them warm, dry and fed as best he could and held them both. It wasn't until early this morning they seemed to settle down. He didn't get a wink of sleep but he kept on top of everything.
"I thought I'd drop by and see how you and the girls were faring" Evan said.
"We're fine considering" Taylor told him as he opened the door wider giving Evan access into the house.
"Alicia's still unconscious" Evan said as he came into the house. Taylor closed the door and moved back into the kitchen and poured himself a coffee.
"I know" Taylor said.
"But she had colour and she's stabilised. I spoke with Doc Hastings. He said all Alicia has to do is wake up and we'll know what the real damage is" Evan said as he moved to the play pen where the twins were currently romping around and playing in. He felt relief at seeing the girls were more settled today but he could see they were tired as was Taylor.
"I know, you want a cup of coffee?" Taylor asked.
"Yes, thanks. I also saw Kate and Malcolm this morning, held Caleb for a bit" Evan said, Taylor nodded as he realised that he hadn't gone over for a visit yet. Something he would do after he buried his son.
"How are they?" Taylor asked.
"They are good, Malcolm has become quite possessive of the two" Evan remarked with a wry smile as took the cup of coffee from Taylor.
"I don't blame him, firstborns are the scariest as you have no clue what you're doing and don't want to mess it up" Taylor said quietly as he remembered what it was like. Not that having twins was a breeze it came with its challenges but he did find it easier in some regards.
"Yeah-" Evan stopped as there was a knock at the door. Taylor moved to the door and opened it to find Elisabeth and Jim Shannon.
"You're early" Taylor said.
"It's not 9 am?" Jim asked he looked to Elisabeth who pretended to be just as clueless as him before she checked her comm. unit.
"It's 8:40" Taylor said saving Elisabeth from saying it. She gave a sheepish smile while Jim was unrepentant.
"Oh well, we're here now. Is that fresh coffee I smell?" Jim asked as he came into the house not even waiting for an invitation.
"Help yourself" Taylor told him dryly as he moved out of the way to let them into the house. Elisabeth walked over to the playpen and reached in to play with the twins cooing over them as the woman loved children. Jim poured himself a coffee and sat down at the table.
"So, how did everyone sleep last night?" Jim asked.
"Not well, maybe two hours at most you?" Evan asked between the kids and his work there hadn't been anytime.
"Got a few hours in, I'm glad once we have everything settled and on a schedule" Jim said as he ran a hand over his face.
"I hear you on that" Evan said with a smile as he finished his first cup of coffee for the day and moved to Kitchen to get another.
"I want to go and see Alicia" Kate said Malcolm as he placed a breakfast tray on the bed next to Caleb so it would sit between Kate and Malcolm. Kate was in day two of 'recovery' and all the pampering was getting to her as she wanted to bounce back and kick butt. Well maybe not be that active but she did want to see Alicia and the rec centre was only a 7 minute walk away from the house. Evan assured her that Alicia was looking better but she wanted to see it for herself.
"Kate, I'm really not comfortable in taking Caleb to the infirmary unless it's absolutely necessary" Malcolm said as he moved his side of the bed and sat down. Caleb swaddled up on the bed next to the breakfast tray he was dozing in and out but when he was awake he looked around taking in everything.
"Well you and he can stay here. It's a 7 minute walk there. I can go after I've fed Ethan and be back before he wakes up for another feed" Kate said to Malcolm as she ate a piece of fruit from the plate on the tray that was laden with pancakes, fruit salad and yogurt. He definitely knew how to spoil her.
"Ok, but I don't want you going alone" Malcolm said to her as he stroked with the soft downy hair on Caleb's head in a soothing manner. He couldn't help but marvel over their son.
"It's a 7 minute walk, what could possibly happen?" Kate asked him incredulously, Malcolm looked up at Kate and gave her a droll look.
"Humour me" Malcolm said dryly. Kate gave a look of submission as she felt it was better to keep him happy as there was no reason to rock the boat over something as insignificant as having someone walk her to the infirmary.
"Fine, Liz said she'd drop by after the staff meeting to do a check up on Ethan. I'll ask her if she can escort me" Kate said.
"Thank you" Malcolm said with a smile.
"Are you sure you want to talk about this now?" Evan said to Taylor, half an hour into the meeting of department heads Taylor brought up Lucas's involvement and wanting to know what happened. How his son had brought about the destruction to the Colony. Evan didn't feel that the information was pertinent to those at the table but Taylor asked.
"Yes I'm sure" Taylor said. Evan looked at the people around the table and nodded.
"Ok, well from what I've learned. Lucas integrated a virus in the last of the calculations that he gave Dr Wallace and I. I think he was using it to make the connection between his purple computer device and Terra Nova's central computing systems using the Terminus as the wireless link. I don't think the overload and subsequent explosion was done on purpose but just an accident due to whatever he was trying to do" Evan said
"Which was what?" Taylor asked.
"I don't know, the tech person I worked with hypothesised that Lucas was trying to create a blackout to distract main security and open the cell door as there is a 5 second lapse between the door opening due to a blackout and the backup generator kicking in to re lock the door. What he was planning after that besides escaping well who knows." Evan said.
"Ok" Taylor said, he didn't want any secrets about Lucas or his death as he'd rather people knew the truth than draw their own conclusions and start more rumours making Lucas out to be more evil than what they already thought. He turned his attention to Jim.
"I spoke with Baz. He says he's making the infirmary top priority. Dr Hastings had the area cleaned of any bio-hazardous materials yesterday as you know. Baz and a group of workers have already started clearing the area. But it will take awhile before they have a usable space to do the reconstruction." Jim said.
"Ok, I want to clean and convert the Rec centre into a temporary school and have a team deconstruct the cell in the barracks and convert it into a workable Infirmary. Will that work for you Doc?" Taylor asked Elisabeth.
"Yes it will" Elisabeth said in a happy voice as she smiled and jiggled a smiley Ava in her lap. The twins had become fussy and before Taylor could step in Elisabeth and Jim stepped up to the plate. The two were the least professional at the table as they were only half paying attention and the other half playing with the twins keeping them amused. Taylor only minded slightly as he'd rather he was the one playing with the twins than keeping his professional manner of being the Commander and showing he was unaffected by the events.
"Ok, and the Command Centre-" Jim started but Taylor cut him off.
"Is low priority, well set up some space in the secondary labs and I'll have Guzman re route all security feeds to a room there. As for future meetings, Jim you'll be in charge with Guzman as your second. I'm stepping down for a few days as I'm needed here to look after the twins and my wife. I'm sure you all understand" Taylor said to the other department heads. They all nodded and murmured their understanding of his situation.
"Now, the funerals" Taylor stated.
"Yes" Jim said.
"Once all victims have been identified via DNA, have their remains prepared for burial. The families with Preacher's advice can decide on if they want a mass funeral or to keep their lost loved one's burial private" Elisabeth said.
"Alright, I'll talk wit-" Jim stated but Taylor cut him off.
"I'll talk with Preacher. Is there anything else?" Taylor asked, as he saw the message from Hastings on his plex. It was the autopsy report on Lucas.
"I think that's it" Jim said, Taylor looked around the table and everyone looked finished.
"Ok, thank you ladies and gentlemen" Taylor said. He held the door open they all left one by one until Elisabeth and Jim remained.
"Can I help you?" He asked.
"We were thinking that we could help you by taking care of the twins for a couple of hours so you could get some rest and go see Alicia" Elisabeth said as she held Ava on her hip. It annoyed him at how everyone was treating him with kid gloves as if he was incapable of doing his own job and the looks of pity they shot his way when they thought he wasn't looking.
"Alicia is still unconscious she won't know if I'm there or not. As for the twins I can manage thank you for the concern but you can go. The colony needs you two at work" He told them as he took Ella from Jim's arms, holding the girl close.
"Ok, but-"
"I will call, if I need anything. Thank you" he told them. Elisabeth and Jim exchanged looks before they nodded. Elisabeth placed Ava into the high chair nearby before she and Jim left. He moved to the second high chair and place Ella in it before placing two bottles of water on each tray and cut a banana into slices into two bowls with blueberries placing them onto the trays as a snack. He then sat down at the table and opened the autopsy report reading the results.