Alicia woke up the sensation that someone was looking at her and when she opened her eyes she found someone was. Taylor, he stood at the left side of her bed and looked down at her with a closed off expression. One he wore when something displeased him and he didn't want to talk about it. His features looked drawn with exhaustion and his eyes were a mixture of cold and hurt. He could never quite seem to control the emotions from his eyes.

"How are your injuries?" He asked her, his words and actions sliced through her as he didn't kneel down and take her hand or touch her. He didn't even ask how she was feeling. No, it was how are your injuries. So impersonal and cold, obviously he had made his mind up about her actions.

"Fine" Alicia said, she was afraid if she said anymore she'd choke on her words and cry as it's what she felt like doing.

"I spoke with Doc Hastings, he said I can take you home but you have to stay on bed rest for a few more days and no heavy lifting including the twins for two weeks" Taylor said, he was paraphrasing as the doctor had given him a rather long winded talk that he barely listened to. He looked down at Alicia in the bed, he could see she was hurt by his demeanour but he couldn't change how he felt towards her.

She had killed his son. Self defence or not, part of him couldn't help but feel anger and pain at her for what she had done. He didn't love her any less than he had before that day. He told himself to work through it. He had to if he wanted to keep his family intact.

"Do you want me to come home?" Alicia asked in a low voice, her eyes burned with tears she refused to cry. Her stomach churned as she was sure he'd rather leave her in the infirmary.

"Of course I do" He said offended by her statement but then he couldn't blame her for asking considering how this was the first time he had come to see her since she had come out of surgery. He was also amazed she wasn't tearing him a new one for leaving Ava and Ella with Kate. Obviously the news hadn't reached her as Alicia wasn't angry but then in his opinion she didn't deserve to be angry.

"Then I'd like to go home now" Alicia said in a low voice.

"Ok, I'll get it organized" Taylor said, Alicia watched him walk away and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before they could fall.

"He's back" Kate said repeating just what Malcolm had told her over lunch. Malcolm had worked most of the morning and now was indulging in some father-son bonding as he held a sleeping Caleb in his arms. Kate loved these moments and was definitely happy to get used to them.

"Yes, he came back to the colony late last night." Malcolm said as he watched Kate enjoy her lunch slowly as she had gotten into the habit of doing so in the last weeks of her pregnancy due to heart burn and indigestion. They had a nice spread of cold meats, antipasto, pita bread, sauces and chutneys on the table before them. It was the easiest meal Kate put together for lunch and delicious.

"That's a relief. You know you can put him down and eat" Kate said to Malcolm as he hadn't put Caleb down he took over burping and changing duties since he come home half way through her feeding their son. Malcolm wished he wasn't at work and at home so he could hold his child for as long as he wanted and could take care of Kate instead of having to suffice for time during his meals and late at night. He felt slightly envious of Kate and her freedom to be at home but then she was recovering from giving birth to their son something he was not envious of.

"I'm happy to hold him a while longer" Malcolm said he watched a soft smile spread across her lips. He could feel her melt with love just looking at them before she turned her attention back to eating lunch.

"You working this afternoon?" Kate asked him between bites of food.

"I am but only for a couple of hours. I'm sorry about this mess. This is supposed to be our time together without interruptions from my department" Malcolm said.

"There's nothing to apologise for. The colony is recovering and your department needs you" Kate told him. He was felt lucky she was being so understanding as he couldn't muster it for his department. He just wanted to yell at them all to grow up and do their jobs without him having to micromanage them and approve every minor detail. He knew they were feeling the loss of their co-workers but he callously felt that it shouldn't impede them from helping with basic rearrangments of work space and clean up.

"But I need you and Caleb more. I apparently haven't taken leave since I came to Terra Nova and I wanted this time. I have an abundance of accrued annual leave" Malcolm said, he was supposed to be on 4 weeks of leave and then part time hours for another 14 weeks so he wouldn't miss anything. But the first four weeks was the leave he wanted the most because he felt Kate needed him to be at home to pick up the slack but also to stop her from pushing herself.

"Using annual leave so you can spend your time being spewed and cried on, changing feral nappies and be bored out of your mind while watching Caleb and I sleep?" Kate deadpanned before she took a sip of her tea.

"Yes and it doesn't necessarily have to be in that order." Malcolm said with an emphatic nod, Kate nearly choked on her tea.

"And they call me odd" Kate said as she cleared her throat and laughed. She set her cup down and went to putting some chutney onto a slice of cold meat.

"Then we make a pair. Are you going to see Alicia this afternoon?" Malcolm asked. He watched as Kate's smile dimmed somewhat.

"I'd like to but I'm really tired, so I'll go tomorrow with Caleb while you're at the funeral" Kate said making a compromise. She knew Alicia would understand and Kate was exhausted but no more than she was yesterday. She just didn't want to push herself and she saw Alicia yesterday.

"You should know she's left the infirmary is back at her home with Taylor" Malcolm informed her as he changed Caleb over onto his other arm so he could reach the food and eat something before he had to put Caleb down and go back to work.

"Oh ok, well I'll send a message and see if it's alright for me to visit sometime the next few days" Kate said as she wanted to give Alicia and Taylor some time together. She also wasn't entirely happy with Taylor and needed a little space from him. She knew he was grieving but she felt sore from his last visit. She hadn't spoken with him after Caleb was born and she felt him leaving the twins in her hands did not count. In fact it hurt that he just used her as a distraction to get out of the colony then to take care of the twins when there were so many other people who were more capable and in better condition to look after the twins than she was at the time.

It was early evening when Alicia stirred awake from her nap and rose from bed slowly. She groaned at her stiff muscles and slowly moved out of the bedroom. She needed food, a proper shower and time with the twins to make her feel better.

"What are you doing up?" Taylor demanded. Alicia looked to Taylor who was sitting at the dining table with plex screens scattered across it. She saw the twins were sitting in their high chairs eating blueberries and strawberries or in Ava's case just squishing them into the tray table before licking mush off her hands. The girl was a messy eater, no doubt about it.

"I thought I'd go to the bathroom, freshen up and then maybe eat something" Alicia said casually, trying to not let Taylor's cold and distant manner get to her. She understood where it was coming from but she felt as someone he was supposed to love she deserved just an iota of warmth and recognition that she was hurt and in pain. That she needed comfort.

"Ok, I'll have something on the table for you to eat when you finish cleaning up" Taylor said.

"Thanks" Alicia said, she had hoped he would offer to help her to the bathroom or something. She could remember when she was pregnant and after her c-section he had helped her but now it was different. But this was different, she murdered his son and he was too damn honourable to show the true extent of his anger and possible hatred towards her as she knew he wanted to keep their family together.

She bit her bottom lip so she wouldn't groan and made her way to the bathroom. When she got there she closed the door and moved to the bath tub and sat down on the edge letting out a raggedy sigh as she was in pain and miserable.

She got up and pulled out the Epsom salts and tossed a small amount in the tub and after a few minutes she turned off the taps. She pulled her hair into a high bun and stripped naked. She then slowly sunk into the bath tub and closed her eyes allowing the tears to run down her face as the heat and the salts to soothe her body.

Hours later, the twins were fast asleep and Alicia laid in bed wide awake. She listened to Taylor move around the house. He had cleaned up after dinner, and then worked more on his plex. If he hadn't put a plate of food in front of her she would have wondered if he knew she was there as he didn't acknowledge her presence or even make small talk. It gave cold shoulder a whole new definition in her opinion. She laid on the lounge and listened as he worked on his plex and talked with Guzman via comm. and when he disappeared for a shower she went to bed.

She had laid down looking at the ceiling listening to the running water of the shower had just shut off and she knew he would be in the room any minute. She felt nervous as she wondered how he was going to act with her. If he was going to sleep next to her, hold her. She needed him to reach out to her, to touch her, to give her hope that he wasn't going to punish her forever for one incident.

She got her answer when he came into the room dressed in cotton pyjama pants. She watched as he sat down on his side of the bed and placed his comm. unit on the bed side table. He sat there for a long moment with his back to her. Hope unfurled in her that maybe he would lie down next to her and then sleep would take care of the rest. That they would wake up in each other's arms.

"Kate and Shannon are going to come over and stay with you during the day tomorrow while I attend the funerals. I'll be gone before dawn but Shannon will be here and then he'll leave when Kate comes over. I won't be back until late but I'm sure the two of you can manage looking after the twins." Taylor said to her, not looking at her. She waited for him to turn and look at her. She silently begged him for one glance but she got nothing. Alicia cleared her throat and swallowed the lump in her throat trying not be so irrational and weak in allowing her emotions to take over.

"I'm sure we will. Though you'll need to pull out the bassinette out" Alicia told him in a quiet voice, and then he looked at her but when he did, it was a look she interpreted to meaning 'Are you stupid?'.

"The twins are too big for it" he told her, his tone matched his look and Alicia's disappointment turned to annoyance at his blatant lack of forethought and annoyance at herself. She got her wish, he was looking at her but it wasn't the look she wanted.

"I was thinking for Caleb" Alicia said looking back him, she wondered how it had slipped his mind in asking Kate to come over that he might have to prepare the house for Caleb too. Not that it took much to pull the bassinette from storage and set it up.

"Of course, I assume Malcolm will bring their portable cot for the kid" Taylor said off handedly as he turned his head back to facing away from her. Alicia bit her tongue to keep herself from saying something scathing. Silence lapsed between them, it was not a companionable silence but a smothering silence as Alicia waited for him to say something but he didn't. Instead he got up from the bed taking his comm. unit with him and was walking out of the bedroom

"Nathaniel?" she said, hoping that hearing her say his first name would call his attention. It worked as he turned and looked at her, she could just make out his features in the dark.

"You need something?" He asked.

"I'm wondering when you'll be coming to bed" She said as she thought he was going to that a moment ago. As she had hoped he would.

"I don't want to aggravate your injuries. So I'll be sleeping on the couch" he informed her.

"You don't have to-"

"I want to" He told her, his words sliced through her more painfully than when Lucas had stabbed her. She couldn't say anything as a lump formed in her throat and tears formed in her eyes. Not that it mattered as Taylor had closed the bedroom door. As far as he was concerned the conversation was over.

Malcolm came home late that night to find Kate fast asleep on the lounge with Caleb in his porta cot beside it. His son was awake and making small and precious noises as he erractically waved his little arms and legs around developing his motor skills. That or he was readying a large deposit for garbage incinerator. Malcolm thanked whatever higher powers that they were able to produce disposable nappies as he would have spent at least 60% of his day doing laundry.

Not that Malcolm minded but he understood why Kate called babies and small children 'little grots'. He leaned down and placed a kiss on his son's forehead, before lifting back slightly to smile at the boy and placed his index finger in his son's tiny hand feeling him grasp it with his tiny hand. He found it incredibly amazing how strong Caleb was for just a tiny baby. His heart filled with incredible love and pride for Caleb and Kate.

"Hey, you're home" Kate murmured as she woke up to see Malcolm playing with Caleb. She stretched her arms above her head giving another yawn.

"I am, so why aren't you in bed?" he asked as he saw her face pinch slightly with pain as she still had sore muscles.

"I was waiting for you" She said as she turned onto her side to make space for Malcolm to sit on the edge, he took her offer and sat down. She watched as Caleb's tiny hand grasped Malcolm's finger.

"You didn't have to wait up" He said as he looked to her. He used his free hand and softly rubbed her arm. She caught his hand and interlaced their fingers bringing it to rest on her chest. She gave a sleepy but content sigh.

"I know but I wanted to. Are you hungry?" she asked Malcolm.

"No" he said shaking his head as he looked down at Caleb. Kate could see exhaustion etched in his features from the long work hours and little sleep due to caring for her and Caleb in the night. She was struggling to find a balance between him and Caleb but knew once she recovered and a little more rested she'd find it. But for right now she had a small golden window where Caleb was content and she could focus on Malcolm.

"Have you eaten anything since lunch?" Kate asked him, she released his hand and then sat up and placed her chin on his shoulder while hugging his side.

"I did. Have you?" he asked looking back at her.

"Yeah I was starving. Malcolm, are you ok?" Kate asked as she cupped the side of his face with one hand. Malcolm turned his face to her hand and kissed her palm.

"Yes, of course" he assured her as he could see she was concerned.

"It's just that you lost people-" Kate started but he cut her off as he already had the conversation with Evan.

"I know but I have no memory of being their friend or being more than their boss. You know I keep a professional distance from my staff. So I will grieve the loss of life and what they could have contributed to our scientific community but nothing more." He said, he knew it made him sound callous but it was the truth. Kate nodded as she understood what he was saying, she too felt grief at the loss of life but it was not something that affected her greatly as say the death of a close friend or family.

"I'm still sorry for all of that's happened" Kate said to him.

"As am I but instead of dwelling on it. Luckily we survived and have a bright future ahead of us. Anyway I'd prefer to think about you and Caleb and possibly the next two children we have" Malcolm said to her with a sly smile. Turning the conversation onto happier and more amusing topic as he'd rather smile.

"Two?" Kate said pulling back slightly. She had only given birth to one; five days ago and while she loved Caleb to bits she wasn't at the stage where she was ready to commit another 18 months of being pregnant and who knew how many hours of labour just yet.

"Not right now" Malcolm said reassuringly as if he could read her mind. He smiled in amusement as he watched relief wash over Kate's features.

"Good because I don't think I can handle two more right now" Kate said as she thought of how she was with the twins plus Caleb. Sure that had been an odd situation but how she had felt and the event itself was too fresh in her mind. How she had just completely melted down. She didn't like feeling so out of control.

"We'll work our way up to it" He teased her as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Not until Caleb's five" Kate said this made Malcolm pull back.

"Two" Malcolm countered smiling as he couldn't believe they were negotiating what age Caleb would be when they would start having more kids. It was definitely an odd time for the conversation but then he had brought it up.

"Four years old?" Kate asked in a hopeful tone, a playful smile on her lips.

"Two and half. I'm not getting any younger" Malcolm said as he brushed the tip of his nose against hers in an eskimo kiss.

"Neither am I. How about when he's three?" Kate offered.

"How about we shelve the conversation for a later date and enjoy what we have right now" Malcolm told her. He knew he would be better off persuading her at a later date when she was more confident in herself and with Caleb.

"That I can agree with, how about I make us something light to eat before we go to bed" Kate said.

"Later" he said before he took her mouth in a slow and passionate kiss. Kate moaned into his mouth as they carefully shifted on the lounge into a better position as they continued to kiss. They barely got comfortable before Caleb when started crying, Malcolm broke the kiss and looked Kate with a smile.

"I will make us some food and you can tend to our son" Malcolm told her as he reluctanly released her and then picked Caleb up, handing him over to Kate.

The next morning,

Alicia woke at the sound of Jim and Taylor talking, she couldn't remember when she had fallen asleep as she had spent a good portion of the night trying not to let Taylor hear her crying. She had some pride left that she didn't want to give him the ammunition of her being an 'over emotional' woman. She also didn't want him to think she was crying as a ruse to gain his sympathy.

She strained her ears as she could just hear what they were saying and by their tones it was rather heated.

"You can't possibly want me to interrogate her now" Jim said in disbelief.

"No, I want her witness account for the record"

"Taylor, give her a few days. Victims-"

"I don't need a lecture. Just do your job and close the file on this as soon as possible. I want this ordeal put behind the colony as soon as possible" Taylor said.

"I understand where you're coming from but you can't push this and anyway you're going to be late to the dawn service if you don't go now" Jim told him.

Alicia heard Taylor curse in agreement and then Taylor gave Jim a few more instructions in respect of when Kate would be by and other duties before the front door closed. Alicia heard the door to the bedroom slide open and looked at Jim. She immediately felt suspicious of him, and angry that Taylor didn't have the courage to ask her himself about what happened in the house. But then she didn't want to talk about it even to Taylor. She knew if she told him he would never believe her.

"Hey" Jim said softly with warm smile.

"Shannon, you look like crap" Alicia said.

"It's 4:30am, find me one person who looks good at this hour besides my wife" Jim remarked with a smile. "Anyway you should be sleeping" he told her.

"Taylor woke me up when he had to get up for the funerals" Alicia half lied as she was implying she and Taylor shared their bed. That his shifting the bed while getting up had woken her up when it wasn't the truth.

"Ah have you had breakfast?" Jim asked.

"No but I'm not hungry" Alicia told him.

"Coffee to start?" he offered.

"Sure" Alicia said, Jim disappeared into the living area to the kitchen. As he retrieved them coffee Alicia pushed herself up in bed and moved some pillows behind her back so she was sitting up. She didn't bother to brush a hand through her mussed hair as she really didn't care. She didn't need to impress anyone. Jim came back into the room and handed her a cup of coffee and then came back with his own a chair from the dining table. He placed the chair by the wall and sat back with his own cup of coffee.

"Listen at some point during the following weeks we need to go over what happened between you and Lucas" He said casually.

"I prefer we not" Alicia said as she took a sip of the coffee trying to stay calm.

"But we have to-"

"For what purpose?" She asked cutting him off.

"Wash" he said in a commanding manner as if she were an errant child.

"No, we all know what happened and I don't see the point in clarifying the details" Alicia told him in a harsh tone.

"Ok, I'm sorry but it's my job to write up a report about this. You know it is" Jim told her not taking offense from her aggressive demeanour.

"Yes but in this case you can put down the victim is refuses to talk about it. I will not change my mind nor do I have to think about it. If I remember it is my right to not have to talk about" Alicia told him.

"Ok, I'm not going to push any further today but I think you should want to put something in the record because remaining silent won't help you or Taylor" Jim told her. She wanted to tell him that giving her statement about what happened wouldn't her no matter what.

"That is between my husband and I. What time is Kate coming over?" Alicia asked as she hoped it was soon. She knew Jim, he was like a dog with a bone when it came to his work. She also knew Kate would talk about anything that wasn't about Lucas thus taking the pressure off Alicia to talk.

"I have no idea, she and Caleb run on their own schedule while Malcolm is just along for the ride. You know how it is" Jim said with an amused smile.

"Yeah I do" Alicia said as she remembered how she and the twins were top priority when the girls were newborns. Before she could drift into darker thoughts of how that had changed a knock sounded at the door.

But before Jim could get up the door opened and Kate's voice drifting into the house as she was talking with Malcolm. Jim placed his coffee cup on the dresser beside him and moved into the living area and Alicia listened appreciating how Kate spoke in a low voice but clear enough for Alicia to hear.

"Hey, did you just roll out of bed?" Jim asked Kate.

"Malcolm made me put on a bra so I wouldn't leak everywhere. What more do you want?" Kate snapped in a grouchy tone, Alicia couldn't help but smile at Kate's manner and Malcolm who grumbled that he did no such thing.

"That's too much information for me" Jim told her.

"Is Alicia awake?" Malcolm asked moving the conversation along. Alicia could tell the man was still half asleep from his voice.

"Yeah go right in. Kate can I have a word?" Jim asked.

"Sure" Alicia heard Kate said.

"Thanks, I'm going to go put this cot down and then I'm going back to bed" Malcolm grumbled. A few seconds later Malcolm came into the room with their portable cot. "Morning" he said to her. He looked how she felt, exhausted to the bone. Even his hair was exhausted as it was flat and messy, it was rather odd to see him so dishevelled. At least he was dressed properly... Alicia mused.

"Morning Malcolm. I'm sorry-" Alicia started she wanted him to know she was sorry that they hadn't prepared to have Caleb over and for the early hour but he cut her off.

"Nothing to apologise for. You're helping me as much as we're helping you" he said, he set up the cot and rolled it to Taylor's side of the bed. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go back to bed" Malcolm told her.

"I will not!" Kate said from the other room. Alicia heard the outrage in Kate's tone.

"Jeez keep your voice down, I was saying it needs to be done but not today" Jim said.

"Oh well while we're at it why don't we write him up for child abandonment" Kate whispered sarcastically. Alicia looked to Malcolm who was equally stunned by the outburst but he gave her no explanation.

"I'm going to go stop a murder, then go to bed and see you later" Malcolm said, he left the room and Alicia heard him mumble a few words to Kate and Jim before she heard who she assumed to be Malcolm and Kate kiss for a moment before he left. A second later, Kate came into the room followed by Jim who looked slightly browbeaten.

"Geez don't let the undertaker see you. He might want to measure up your coffin" Kate joked in a soft tone. She had Caleb in her arms and a bag swung over her shoulder. Alicia noted her friend's messy red hair, oversized grey dark grey t-shirt, black tank and tights. Just as Jim commented Kate did look like she had just rolled out bed and come right over.

"Poor taste of jokes considering the funerals are today" Alicia said she placed her cup of coffee on the bedside table.

"Not yours" Kate said with a smile. Alicia felt like saying 'it should've been' but held her tongue as she wasn't going to drag Kate into her pity party.

"No, I was one of the lucky ones" Alicia said, Kate didn't miss the note of sarcasm to her tone but then Kate knew why. When Taylor opened the door he hadn't been very receptive to her presence. In fact he brusquely told her he put the twins down for a nap and that he'd be back in the afternoon. There was nothing warm or welcoming about his greeting or words. It left Kate hurt and confused as Taylor always took the time to speak with her but what hurt the most was that he hadn't even acknowledged her son. She had a feeling if that was her welcome Alicia's life had to be just as bad if not worse.

"Yes you are. I don't put on a bra for just anyone and it's a sexy one. You want to see?" Kate asked her, she placed Caleb on the bed and pulled the bag she had with her off her shoulder and placed at the end of the bed out of the way before picking Caleb up again.

"Kate could you not talk about your bra?" Jim asked uncomfortably as he retook his seat.

"Ok, so Alicia you want to play cuddles with Caleb?" Kate asked.

"Would love nothing more" Alicia said, Kate smiled and Alicia couldn't help but find it infectious as Kate gently handed Caleb into her arms. Alicia adjusted her hold on Caleb so he settled comfortably in her arms. "He's so handsome, Kate" Alicia said with a soft smile to her friend.

"I know, sometimes I'm afraid I'll break him" Kate said as she moved onto Taylor's side of the bed and propped it up with pillows so she was at the same level as Alicia before she laid back into the pillows and gave a sigh of contentment.

"Just make yourself at home" Alicia said dryly.

"Thanks I will" Kate said with a smug smile as she moved under the blankets and sheet.

"Kate would you like something to drink?" Jim asked.

"No thanks" Kate said she turned to Alicia. Alicia could tell by the glint of excitement in her eyes that Kate was going to say something crude.

"How are you Kate?" Alicia asked she knew it was going to be a good answer.

"Very well, so well I was wondering I know I gave birth a few days ago but how much of a suggestion is that '6 weeks before throwing a leg over' is or is it like a written law? Because I see Malcolm with Caleb and all I want to do is put my son in his cot then rip off all of Malcolm's clothes and climb- "

"Kate!" Jim snapped, his neck was bright red and his eyes wide as he was rather shocked and embarrassed by the direction of the conversation. Alicia smiled as she was not disappointed.

"What? I can't help it, my hormones are all over the place and I'm married to a very sex-" Kate started but Jim plugged his ears like a five year old.

"I'm not listening-la-la-la" He told her. Kate pursed her lips and waited until he stopped and hesistantly pulled his fingers from his ears and looked at her.

"Why do you get all uptight about this stuff?" Kate asked him.

"Because I think of you like you're my little sister as such I don't want to know anything about your lady bits or what you're covering them with or your sex life with Malcolm." Jim told her. Kate opened her mouth to say something but Jim abruptly stood up and continued to talk.

"Actually you know what I'm going to go make a few rounds. Give you ladies some time to get all that talk out of your system. I'll be back in half an hour if not I'll send someone in my stead" he told them and quickly left the house.

"You did that on purpose" Alicia told Kate as soon as the front door close and Kate responded with an evil smile which was the only answer Alicia needed.