A/N: I'm absolutely reeling from that last episode, honestly, it couldn't have been more perfect. Anyway, here is the last chapter of this fic until maybe series two *crosses fingers*! Enjoy :)
For the first time in my life I feel like I belong somewhere. I feel absolutely and totally loved and I swear it's the best feeling in the universe. The look he gives me as I step through the doorway is one worth living for. The warmth of his beautiful house floods my senses and snuggles through my jet-lagged body, enveloping my heart. Before shutting the door he scoops me into a crushing hug, signalling that he's missed me massively.
"I missed you too, mate," I laugh, but I'm cut off by his lips pressing firmly onto mine, joining our bodies as one.
I think of the many times I've longed to be here over the past six months, and the equal amount of times that I've told myself I was there to do a job and get it over with. I remember the first time he scribed 'Rosabaya' onto my arm, and the school-girl feeling that fluttered in my stomach as I longed to tell everyone about my secret crush, our hands intertwining meaningfully. I remember him trying every excuse to attend the med tent, every excuse just to see me, can you believe it? He put his job on the line by entering a relationship with me and I tried so hard to believe that there was nothing else to it except pure and untainted love.
I remember the cold-hearted, sinking feeling as I overheard that he had a wife, and used every ounce of my strength of mind to find an excuse for him. Smurf was deluded; he wasn't thinking straight, the boss had a wife years ago, but not anymore. Doubt took over me and spread through my body: what if everything has been a lie? Is there anything else he isn't telling me? I don't think pure happiness had ever been followed by such sadness in any human being's life.
When my two rocks were tarnished by shot-wounds and spite, my whole world came crashing down. Sitting in that waiting room with Smurf was the longest night of my life. The futures of all three of us were in the hands of the doctors and nurses tending to the captain.
The rest of my life since then is measured in good days and bad days. A date in Bath with the captain: good. Visiting the football ground with Smurf: bad. Smurf's funeral: bad. Returning to Afghan: good. Seeing Bashira happy: good. Visiting the captain at Christmas as promised: good.
I'm still reeling from the relief of seeing Bashira again. When I spotted her playing happily with another girl in a safe environment I didn't want to talk to her anymore. I didn't want to disrupt her blissful happiness that we had provided for her, but then I was humbled that she recognised me, despite it being months before that we last saw each other the day she had a bomb around her waist. I feel terrible for putting Qaseem under the stress of getting me to the safe house but in the end he was rewarded by seeing us happy and returning to a normal life. I still write to him sometimes, and he's a great bloke.
The worst day was Smurf's funeral. I just thought what a bloody waste of life it was. He was going to have a massive adventure called life ahead of him; despite how dreary it sounded when he spoke about it. He had dreams and he had nightmares but they all added up to make Smurf and how brilliant it was to have him as my best mate. Down the back of the Indian takeaway that night I never imagined in a million years that our paths would one day cross again. We were going to go to Vegas...
"I bloody love you," he says. His voice is like a light flickering on in the darkness and I'm brought back to the present day. "And I've been waiting to say that for six months. Writing it wouldn't have been the same, so here t it: I love you." He posts the words carefully into my ears and they settle softly in my head, melting into my mind. I suddenly have a floating feeling and it's the best in the world. For once in my life, I'm speechless, and I can only beam back.
"Ditto."
A/N: Please don't forget to favourite/follow/review: they mean so much to me!